


Ultra-Violent

by Wloky



Category: South Park
Genre: Bigender Character, Blood, Cartman Being Cartman, Comedy, Crossdressing, Drama, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gang Wars, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Smut, Strong Language, Violence, a stupid idea that grew too big too fast, cartyle, kenny being a beautiful angel, kyle being the strong badass he is, sexually confident kyle, stan being in love with wendy like always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-08-22 09:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 64
Words: 94,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8281463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wloky/pseuds/Wloky
Summary: Imagine a world where gangs rule cities, children are taught to kill for their survival and two of the most powerful boys of Colorado are set to meet by fate.





	1. Going down to South Park

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this bullshit in advance.

At this point, it was hard to tell apart the sound of the storm hitting down onto the earth from the sound of a baseball bat hitting down and crushing bones. It had always been a weird, satisfying feeling whenever he heard those cracks and saw skin turn purple before inevitably paling away as blood gushed out onto the pavement.

„I think he's already dead.“ The redhead stopped as he heard the familiar voice of his best friend, sounding way too happy about what just went down. Usually Stan had a pretty neutral stance towards these things, but not today. The reason why became clear pretty quickly when the boy turned around to reply and saw his friend holding up a puppy in his arms.

„You had me kill a guy for a dog? Stan, we could have just bought you one--“

„No, that's not it. I saw that fucker mistreat this poor little guy today. It was straight up animal abuse, dude. Kyle, You know I couldn't have taken out his entire gang myself anyway.“ The boy's emerald eyes softened at that, giving Stan one of those warm smiles before picking up his beloved bat.

„So you're keeping him? What are you gonna name him?“

„Sparky.“ At which Stan grimaced and Kyle let out a laugh from the heart.

„Seriously? That's like, a name 8 year olds give their dogs.“

„Hey, don't bash him. He's gonna be a great guard dog when he grows up.“

 

Pouring rain washed down their faces and weapons, crimson blood fading pretty quickly, but not quick enough for the other gangs hanging around not to notice. These two boys were very well known in this city, as a matter of fact, they were pretty fucking famous. And in this world, fame came with fear.

 

Kyle's mother was the leader of the largest gang around, which already meant people were scared of the short redhead. However, status wasn't the only thing that had people shaking in their boots, it was the very fact that Kyle was just as impulsive, aggressive and cruel as his mother. People knew him as Sheila's son, but he didn't like that. He made sure everyone recognized him as Kyle Broflovski. He had his own name and his own reputation. Once Sheila found out what he'd been doing, he couldn't escape his mother's strong hug and all those words of pride. He loved his mom a lot and even though he didn't like admitting it, she was definitely someone he looked up to. And with Stan at his side, they never needed to join any gangs. They had each other, that's all that mattered. It was a good, peaceful life for the Jersey boys.

 

„Boys, we need to talk...“ The two teens stopped in the doorway, both of them and the new puppy looking baffled as to what was going on that they needed to talk right now. And with both their families here?

„Mom, what's wrong? Are we at war? What--“

„Kyle, sit down.“ The red haired woman started, giving her son a look that he couldn't disobey and simply sat down with his drenched clothes on top of the couch, Stan following right behind.

„We're not at war, bubbeh. In fact, I decided I want to retire.“

 

Silence took over the room, Kyle's mouth hanging open as he was not quite sure what to say to that. What did that bring on? But he let his mom continue.

„We want to move away, to a quiet little mountain town in Colorado. I've been doing this for thirty years, Kyle. We talked this through and we all agreed a change of scenery would be good. Not only for us but for you kids too. You two could make your own names easier since nobody will know you there. What do you think, bubbeh?“

„I.. I guess?“ Kyle didn't know what else to say. In a way, he understood his mom. It was a tiring position to be in, especially at her age. She was still very beautiful, don't be mistaken, but with two children maybe she just wanted to be a full time mom. It wasn't like Kyle was going to miss it here either, the only person he had was Stan and apparently he was moving with him. It was just... sudden. The boys exchanged their confused looks before looking back at their parents. They seemed relieved. Maybe they didn't think they'd take this so well.

„What town are we moving to anyway?“

„South Park.“

 

„A new life, huh?“ Stan muttered as they both undressed from their drenched clothes, very well used to being naked around each other ever since they were kids. The storm was hitting pretty hard, lightning striking down and scaring the poor puppy into cuddling up to the raven haired boy. Stan almost instantly stroked the pup, comforting him and letting him hide his face under his big hand.

„Strong guard dog, huh?“ Kyle grinned, earning a look from Stan before joining him on the bed and making himself comfortable, already dressed in his pajamas unlike Stan who liked to sleep half naked.

„Think we're gonna meet good people in South Park?“ The taller boy wondered out loud before lying down as well and wrapping his arm around his best friend, pulling him into a spooning position like they always did.

„Maybe. Think we're gonna find someone to love?“ Just as Kyle asked that, he could hear a fake gasp from his friend.

„Kyle Broflovski, are you telling me this has been a one-sided love this entire time?“ The redhead couldn't help rolling his eyes back into his head at how dramatic Stan sounded, but he decided to play along.

„No. You know I love you. It's just... How can we go on like this? You're only sexually attracted to girls and I'm only sexually attracted to guys who aren't big fucking pussies.“

„Asshole.“ Stan gave the laughing boy a playful smack across the head. At least Kyle thought it was hilarious. Stan was kind of a pussy when it came to certain things. Besides, he was his best friend. They've known each other all their lives and never once felt sexual or romantic attraction. All of it was always platonic love. They were way past the possibility of it being anything else. It was good this way, both of them loved what they had. A friendship like this was one in a million after all.

 

A week later, Kyle thought he heard some people muttering about a giant party celebrating their moving. They weren't invited, but it seems like people were pretty excited about the reign of the Broflovskis coming to an end. Yeah, he definitely wasn't going to miss it here.

 

„Eric! Ken!“ The blonde boy shouted as he came to a stop, needing to catch his breath since he ran all over the school to find them.

„What the fuck, Butters?“ The bigger, chubby boy spoke, obviously not liking the interruption of whatever conversation he was just having.

„Two new families are moving here...“

„So?“

„They're from Jersey.“ Eric stopped at that, the expression on his face quickly turning to one of shock. What the fuck were Jersey families thinking, moving here and all? Didn't they hear about what happened the last time? They literally drove them off with guns and help from terrorists. This was so fucking stupid. Just as fast as he panicked, he quickly collected himself.

„Whatever. It's only two families, right? We will drive them off. I own this shitty town.“ As confident as he may have sounded, there was still this tiny bit of worry inside him.

 

God, why did he have a weird feeling about all of this?

 


	2. Syrupy voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -sweats nervously-

Just like everywhere else, bringing weapons to school was illegal. So was attacking teachers. So was killing someone on school grounds. People learned from past mistakes and for the sake of keeping education something sacred, Kyle was once again getting groped by a security guard checking him and his bag for weapons. He never really got used to it, but he couldn't complain anyway. As weird as it may be, Kyle liked studying. So the fact that he didn't need to worry about getting shanked during class was a plus.

 

However, just as he thought that, he noticed that judging by all the looks they were getting, maybe it was a legitimate worry.

„Why the fuck are people staring at us like that? They've been glaring at us all day long.“ Kyle whispered, trying to not let all the stares bother him, but failing miserably.

„Maybe because we're new?“

„No, yeah, I get that, but... It's like they want us dead already. You think they heard of us?“

„Dad said that was impossible... but then again my dad is a moron.“ Just as he finished that, they noticed a bunch of guys surrounding them in the hallway, encircling them like they were some kind of prey. Was this their warm welcome? Charming.

 

„Get them.“

 

Kyle turned his face towards the sound of that voice, his heart skipping a beat at how authoritative it sounded, it was dripping with raw power. As soon as the order hit, they were jumped. Kyle could only manage to catch a glimpse of the owner of that voice. Really fucking tall, built like a bear and a brunette. Chubby cheeks too. If he didn't just order his men to attack him, Kyle might have played nice with that guy.

 

„You think that will scare 'em off?“ Butters fidgeted nervously, he got a strong feeling that this one wasn't going to be as easy as all the other transfer students.

„I had twenty guys jump them, it's gonna be a miracle if they survive that.“ Eric waved his hand, dismissing any kind of worry while stuffing his face with his food. Ah yes, commanding dumbasses and eating at the same time was one of his biggest hobbies. Just then, the door to the cafeteria slammed open and Eric looked up, expecting his guys to come in and report about the two new fags crying for their mommies. Instead of that, bright green eyes that could kill any man they wanted practically drilled into his soul. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the two boys exchanged looks and Eric could make out a faint smirk on the Jersey teen.

 

He froze up and, for the very first time in his life, felt threatened.

 

„Dude... Did you see that?! That was fucking gangster!“ A muffled voice practically screamed from behind his parka, bursting into a fit of laughter. Kenny never thought he would see such a hilarious expression on Eric of all people, so the only sound heard in the cafeteria was quiet muttering, Kenny's hysterical laughter and the new boy's heavy footsteps.

 

What kind of people were they...?

 

„Butters, I need you to do a background check on them.“

„A-Alright...“ Well, this was certainly new. Considering they were from Jersey, they seemed to wear pretty normal clothes. Were they really from that shit-hole? It must have been a mistake. Could they actually be dangerous? One thing was certain, Eric was tense and so was the rest of his gang, minus the twink Kenny.

 

„Ugh! Can you believe it?!“ Kyle paced around his room, anger fuming from him. Honestly, Kyle had a pretty big anger problem and the stupidest shit could set him off, so to Stan's misfortune, there just had to be a shit ton of things to have set Kyle off today. The fight in the morning was nothing, Kyle could handle fights because it meant he was letting out his frustration. The real thing that bothered him was all these people today very obviously talking about him and not even trying to hide it. Rumors started going around. Much to Kyle's dismay, he achieved the exact opposite of people being scared of him. Were people in this town really this fucking stupid? It may seem like someone was convincing people that he wasn't dangerous at all. And that he wasn't really from Jersey. What was the deal with that? Was it because of their clothes? However the one thing that really pissed him off was someone actually coming up to him and asking him _if he really was from Jersey and if he survived living there by sucking the big guy dicks_. Apparently, he looked way too harmless and innocent according to people.

„Come on, Kyle. It's just stupid rumors.“ Stan tried to reassure his best friend, but to be completely honest, it was bothering him as well. This was so different from what they were used to. They were used to people turning their heads away when they walked.

„You know what... You know what? This is what my mom did to bring attention to herself. They want a Jersey slut? I will give them one. But I will make them fear me.“

„Oh, god, Kyle, what are you--“ Too late. The redhead already stormed out to assemble some of his mom's older outfits from when she was his age. And once Kyle set his mind on something, no one could change it.

 

„What do you think?“ The redhead asked as he twirled around to let Stan get a good hard look. Hard was the right word. It was hard to look at him. Never did Stan think he would see his best friend dressed in tight booty shorts, a crop top and some weird fucking accessories he never saw before. It was weird to say, but Kyle suited this look. He did take after his mom.

„I think that I just had war flashbacks to your mother bringing the entirety of Jersey down to its knees.“

„Perfect.“

„So what's the plan?“

„We bring the entirety of South Park down to its knees. This is a pretty small town and I think that fatass is the only gang leader around. His guys should be hanging around town. We get on their turf, beat them up and leave one physically able to go tell on us. Simple. I think this way he should get the message even if he's stupid.“ Simple indeed, Kyle was never one for elaborated plans. For some reason it was always direct, brute force. Stan couldn't complain, it always worked.

 

It did always work.

 

Bodies scattered all around, most of them lying unconscious as the boys thought it would be no fun if there was no enemies left in the future. Kyle's grin widened, dragging his steel boots and bloodied bat across the pavement, cornering in a terrified man and grasping his hair. Tears streamed down the man's cheeks, feeling like he was staring death right in the face. If death had bright red curls and tattoos of teardrops under his eye that is. Despite the terrifying image, his voice was sickeningly sweet.

„ _Go tell your leader that Kyle Broflovski is taking over this town._ “

 


	3. Coffee and knives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

All in all, the plan seemed to have worked on both the dressing and beating up parts. Kyle was definitely turning a lot of heads and you could hear the faint mutters of what went down the day before. Kyle couldn't make it any more clear that yes, he was from Jersey and yes, he was dangerous.

„Doesn't it bother you?“ Kyle stopped and looked down at a smaller boy walking right beside him, the feminine voice betraying his looks. He looked cute, Kyle had to admit. His black hair was probably tied up up in the purple beret he was wearing.

„Does it bother _you_?“ The redhead replied, noticing how many more heads they turned when they walked beside each other. Kyle was obviously just a guy wearing slutty clothes and it seemed like this other guy was pretty much out.

„Why wouldn't it? I've heard at least five people cat call you and call you a faggot while three people called me a dyke and said something about raping me in the past two minutes we walked down the hall.“ The black haired boy's shoulders slumped as if he was resigning. Kyle didn't really know what to say to that, he was used to people saying these things about his mother. She ended up using and killing the same people that dared even glance at her in the wrong way. It was also pretty much normal to hear these things back home in Jersey. People there seemed to only care about fucking and fighting, in that order.

„What's your name?“

„Wendy or Wendyl, depending on the day.“

„Okay, Wendyl,“ the redhead earned a smile for that, „my mama always said; dogs will be dogs. Just throw them a little piece of bone and they will follow you to their death.“

 

„Dude, what took you so lon-- Ohhellothere.“ Stan almost stuttered as he caught sight of the short boy walking beside his best friend.

„Hey. Well, I better get going then. Thanks, Kyle.“ Wendyl waved them a goodbye and Kyle gave his best friend the side eye, smug grin on his face.

„I didn't know you were gay, Stan.“

„Dude, I'm not-- I mean-- I'm straight, but he was like, kinda cute? Fuck, I'm confused. I mean, I know some guys are cute, you are cute--“

„Aw, thanks, hun.“

„But he was cute in a different way? God, I don't know--“

„Chill, Stan. Your pussy senses are right. Wendyl is apparently bigender, but female physically. Just don't misgender him on his boy days.“

„Wendyl? So on girl days sh-- he's Wendy?“

„Yeah.“

„That's the prettiest name I've ever heard.“

„...That's the gayest thing I've ever heard.“

 

Finally – peace and quiet. While yesterday people kept approaching them and giving them weird questions, today Kyle could enjoy his lunch without any interruptions. Although he hoped a certain fatass would approach him. Maybe he was angry or maybe he was scared... Kyle sure hoped he was angry. Thinking about that guy gave him this rush of excitement. Ever since people started being scared of them back home, no one would even come near them. Not even the girls. They were simply considered way too dangerous. Kyle didn't make it any easier for people to think that either, they thought he was actually insane judging by the look he got when he was killing someone. It wasn't that he got excited or even wanted to show off his strength and power. He just... did it like he was taking out the trash. Like it was the most normal and easiest thing for him to do. Just some chore his parents gave him. His opponents were too easy, too weak. He forgot what it was like to feel anything during a fight. But hearing that guy's power dripping voice... It just pulled him right in. Who knows? This town might actually be worth something.

 

„What the fuck is your problem?!“ Kyle turned around only to be greeted by an extremely tall guy in a blue chullo hat, looking as if someone just pissed in his cereal. The redhead raised his brows at him, expecting an explanation for this sudden outburst.

„You fucking took down my men! From every single turf we owned! You think you can just waltz in here and--“ Just then, Kyle waved his hand, sick of hearing this guy screaming into his ear. Just like that, as if on command, Stan grabbed the guy and slammed him face down onto the floor, holding him down immobilized and in shock. The entire room went silent, even fatass who happened to just walk into the cafeteria with the boy in the orange parka. Kyle only managed to steal a glance at him for a second before his attention was brought back to reality by an ear-piercing, panicked voice.

„P-Please! Let him go! Don't hurt him!“ The boy begged, expression twisted into a terrified one. Even his wrongly buttoned shirt and messy blonde hair added to the panicked look. Kyle got a feeling this poor guy suffered from panic attacks regularly, at least judging by the twitching. Kyle only needed a second to look at the boys faces to know that they were very important to each other, so with a sigh, he gave Stan a nod. It didn't take any time at all for the guy to collect himself off the floor and glare into Kyle's direction one more time before retreating to his assumed boyfriend, needing to lick his own wounds from this public humiliation. Stan sat back down, looking concerned. Well... this wasn't exactly how they planned it out.

„I thought fatass was the only gang leader around here.“

„So did I.“

 

„Stop laughing! What the fuck are you gonna do about him?!“

„Why the fuck should I do anything? It's your own damn fault for confronting him with his guard dog around, Craig.“ Eric couldn't help the huge grin on his face. Never did he think he would see Craig this humiliated. He had to admit, this was pretty badass. That damn redhead was kind of charming. Even Kenny thought it was fucking hilarious, leaning onto Eric's shoulder as he was shaking from the laughter.

„Karma is a bitch, isn't it?“ The chubby boy finally said before walking off, dragging Kenny along with him. As if he could forget about the time Craig stabbed his fucking laptop. Fucker got what he deserved.

 

„Excuse me, hot young thing,“ the boy behind the orange parka spoke, taking Kyle's hand and placing a kiss on it, „could I interest you in my phone number?“ Just as Kyle raised his eyebrows, the poor boy was smacked across the head by the exact same guy Kyle was fixated on ever since hearing his voice.

„You're too poor to fuck a Jew, Kinny~“ It was kinda weird hearing him speak in a friendly manner, he had some weird accent and his voice was a bit higher, how terribly adorable. It was impossible for Kenny to miss the spark in the little Jew's eyes at that moment. Kenny's grades might have suffered, but he wasn't stupid.

„Anyway, I heard you went wild in town last night.“ The brunette pushed his friend away then, Kenny having no choice but to plop down beside Stan, giving even him a flirtatious smile and distracting him while Eric leaned into Kyle, cornering him in his seat as if to intimidate him. Some people might have gotten scared by this, the guy was as huge as a mountain after all, but Kyle wasn't some people.

„Why did you do it?“ There it was, that deep, syrupy voice that made Kyle's heart skip a beat. The redhead pushed himself a little bit forward, just close enough to let him hear his whisper.

„To get your attention, daddy.“ You could practically hear Eric's muscles stiffening up and his breath stopping for just a little second. They looked into each others eyes and Kyle could clearly make out a mix of emotions. Fear, hatred and lust being the main ones. It was hard to look away, those eyes glowed with emotion and life, everything mixing up just nicely in that lovely, deep chocolate hue.

„Well... you got it.“ With just a tiny bit of a shaky voice, Eric retreated as well. He wasn't humiliated quite like Craig, but he was certainly left turned on.

„Come on, you poor piece of shit, Butters is waiting.“

 

 _'I need information on that guy.'_ Is what both Eric and Kyle thought.

 

„Dude, just be careful. You're going in there without a weapon and without me.“

„Oh, Moses, how will I ever handle myself without my trusty pussy companion?!“ Kyle cried dramatically before immediately running into the coffee shop, not wanting to catch any complaints on why Stan was, in fact, not a pussy. However, the sight that greeted him wasn't exactly an inviting one either. There he was, the previously panicked looking boy now looking more pissed off than ever, holding a fucking giant bazooka in his hands and aiming it right in Kyle's direction. Kyle slowly moved his hands up as a sign of peace.

„I'm unarmed, I only came here for coffee. And to apologize.“ At which the blonde's face softened. He didn't exactly want to blow up his parents shop.

„Token, can you check him?“

„Sure.“ The black boy stood up and gave Kyle a quick search, not that there was much to look through considering just how little clothing Kyle was wearing.

„He's not lying.“ At which the blonde sighed in relief and put down the intimidating weapon. Good thing weapons aren't allowed on school grounds.

„What do you want?“

„A latte and information.“ Kyle sat down in front of his workplace.

„You think after the shit you pulled I'm gonna give you information?“

„See, that's the thing. I didn't even know about your boyfriend. He never did anything to me. The one I was after was fatass.“

„Cartman?“

„That his name?“

„Surname, everyone calls him that. Other than Kenny and Butters, those two guys that always hang around him. He has a much larger gang than we do, that's why Craig was so pissed, but that's beside the point. Seriously, don't fuck with Cartman, he's a manipulative asshole. And a sociopath.“

„And cute.“ The redhead muttered just loud enough for Tweek to catch it and the poor boy almost dropped the glass. It's as if what Kyle said was something unimaginable, sinful even.

„Didn't take you for a chubby chaser.“ A voice spoke from behind Kyle, hands extending to press a knife to his neck. Kyle's expression didn't change though, instead he just brought the cup up to take a sip of that lovely coffee.

„This tastes great.“

„Let him go, Craig. He came to apologize.“ Craig was left confused then, but obeyed his boyfriend and hesitantly removed the knife from his neck.

„I did. As I was saying before, I was after fatass. I've never seen you before so I didn't think there were any other gangs besides his.“

„...Whatever. Just keep your guard dog away from me and Tweek.“

„Sure.“ Little did they know, Stan was much weaker than Kyle.

 

Eric slammed his hands down onto the table, giving a frustrated sigh.

„What do you mean, there's nothing on him?!“ The blonde boy flinched at that, Eric could be pretty scary when he got pissed off, but he's never seen him this frustrated before.

„W-Well, jeez, all I could find out was that for some reason him and his family were very feared in Jersey and that some people call him Kyley-B. I couldn't find out why or what he did in the past though...“  
„Don't worry, Butters.“ A muffled voice made itself clear. „He's pissed because that Jew made him pop a boner and now he doesn't know whether to fuck him or kill him. Although I don't think there's much of a choice if he's really as dangerous as it seems. How does it feel having met your perfect match, fatboy?“ Eric just gave Kenny this look of 'if you speak one more word, I'll fucking kill you' but it didn't have the usual malice in it. Eric was just grumpy.

„...Feels weird.“

 


	4. Collars and leashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kyle hummed to himself as he was doing his usual routine of studying, but he was way too distracted by everything that went down these past two days. It had only been such a short time of living here and everything was already way cooler than it was in Jersey, but the main reason for that was Eric Cartman, as he finally found out that was his full name. It was a little surreal, but Kyle didn't think Tweek and Craig were lying about all the adventures Eric dragged them into. How any of that was possible, he didn't know. Though it was really interesting. A ring interrupted him from his daydreaming and for the first time he tossed his homework aside, he couldn't get anything done like this either way. Naturally, it was from Stan.

[stan the man]: how did it go?

[kyley-b]: it went fiiine

[kyley-b]: got lots of info on fatass btw apparently he's fucking mental lmao

[stan the man]: so u wanna take him down?

[kyley-b]: down on his knees maybe

[stan the man]: GROSS

[kyley-b]: you have no right to judge mr. I'm in love with a bigender person

[stan the man]: i'm not in love

[stan the man]: maybe

[stan the man]: idk

[kyley-b]: fag

[stan the man]: anyway

[stan the man]: so we have crushes what do we do now

[kyley-b]: idk this never happened before

[stan the man]: that's so fucking sad  
[kyley-b]: tru

[kyley-b]: but i think fatboy is interested in me so like i'm winning

[stan the man]: ugh wendyl wouldn't even look at me

[kyley-b]: maybe you're ugly

[stan the man]: D:

[kyley-b]: jk i love you

[stan the man]: i love you too

[stan the man]: help me make wendyl/wendy love me too

[kyley-b]: you want both? Greedy

[kyley-b]: i'll help if you call me daddy

[stan the man]: daddy

[kyley-b]: DUDE NO

[kyley-b]: ok ok i'll help you must be really into them if you're willing to go that far

[stan the man]: i am

[stan the man]: thanks dude

[kyley-b]: aight gtg mom wants to talk

[stan the man]: bye

 

Kyle put his phone down, unlocking his door for his mother to come in. Just then, they both froze when they looked at each other. The poor redhead froze because for the very first time in his life he saw his mom wearing just a subtle amount of makeup, her hair was tied up neatly and her clothes looked sophisticated and covered all the parts she usually liked to show off. On the other hand Sheila froze because she saw her son dressed up in her old clothes, revealing way too much. It was like she was looking at a young, male version of herself. She didn't really know whether to be terrified or proud in that moment.

„Bubbeh, I think we need to talk--“

„Yeah--“ Just then a terrified scream pulled them out of their trance before a loud thump was heard. It looked like Kyle's little brother Ike couldn't handle the shock and fainted. Well, fuck.

 

„Your mom okay with you looking like this?“

„Ask her.“ The teen took off his sunglasses and Stan finally looked at him only to see his best friend's face covered in makeup, flawless winged eyeliner, sharp cheekbones, bright red lipstick and... was he glowing?

„Dude... Dude.“

„I know. She said I gotta do it properly and spent the entirety of yesterday teaching me how to use makeup. I've never seen her so proud. She almost cried.“

 

It looked like it was going to be a good day, Kyle was getting used to people staring at him and mainly his ass, but once he came to his locker, his eyes widened. Slurs such as 'whore', 'cockslut' and 'faggot' were spray painted all over his locker and people watched, snickering. Kyle carefully opened his locker, making sure there wasn't some kind of booby trap or something, but all he saw was some kind of note and a collar with a huge SLUT written on it. He took the note first.

 

' _Bitches need collars, don't they?_

 

  * _E. Cartman_ '




 

Just as he read that, he couldn't help letting out a laugh. Fuck everything! This is fucking great! Without hesitation, Kyle took the collar and wrapped it around his neck, smirking proudly.

„What the fuck is that?“ Stan questioned, baffled as to what got Kyle looking so happy while his locker got spray painted and he was wearing a collar only seen in pornos.

„He's flirting with me, dude.“

„You call it flirting, I call it bullying.“

„You call it bullying, I call you a pussy.“

 

„Kyle! I saw what happened to your locker, are you alright?!“ The girl caught up with them. It must have been a Wendy day since her hair was down and she was dressed in a pretty purple blouse and tight fitted jeans. He would have loved to talk to her, but he was in a rush right now.

„Yes, yes, I'm fine, but I have to go be somewhere right now, so--“ The boy grabbed both his best friend and Wendy and forced them ridiculously close to each other so they had no other choice than to stare at one another.

„Wendy, this is Stan, my best friend. He thinks you're hot.“ And just like that, Kyle rushed off, leaving the two teens really embarrassed and red in the faces.

„Hi...“

„...Hi.“

 

This was really fucking stupid, thought Kenny. In fact, it was so fucking stupid that he took down his hood and revealed his messy blonde hair to give Eric a piece of his mind.

„This kid beat up twenty people, you really think doing that will drive him off? In fact, it might ruin your chances with him.“ But who could argue with fatass while he was stuffing his face. Just then, Kenny caught sight of the redhead approaching them, thinking that maybe he had to sacrifice himself in order for this dumbass not to die, but then he noticed something weird. Kyle was smiling and wearing the collar.

„Thanks for the gift.“ He spoke, pressing his lips against Cartman's cheek and leaving a mark on it due to his bright red lipstick. Eric's eyes widened and landed on the little note Kyle left him.

 

' _Wanna put a leash on me? ♡_

_Here's my number; 09********_

 

  * _Kyle B._ '




 

Just after reading it, Kenny grabbed the paper, wanting to know what the fuck is going on. The boy's expression turned into one of shock as he wheezed and didn't know whether to laugh or cry because he did not in fact believe there would come a day when someone would flirt his sociopath best friend.

„HOLY SHIT, DUDE.“ He screamed and checked his pulse to see if he accidentally died somewhere on his way to school, but no, this was in fact real. Kyle was fucking hot too.

„Fuck me sideways with a chainsaw... He likes you.“ Kenny's smile grew then, grabbing his best friend's cheeks and stroking them before placing a kiss on top of his head. This was all new to Eric, he was used to people calling him fat and ugly, never showing any interest. He was simply in shock. On the other hand, Kenny was proud.

 


	5. Boys like boys

 

„Dude! What the fuck was that about?!“ Kyle looked up as Stan stormed into his room, flailing around like a maniac that suffered withdrawals from his addiction. It wouldn't be the first time Stan looked like that.

„What was what about?“

„You know what! You told Wendy I think she's hot!“ He couldn't make it anymore obvious, Stan's arms were spread out, eyes open wide and brows furrowed, waiting for Kyle to get the appropriate reaction and apologize. Such was not the way of the Broflovski boy.

„But you do.“

„So?! You can't just tell her that! Now she will think I'm desperate!“  
„You are.“

„SO?!“ Stan screeched it out, unable to process what the fuck Kyle's mindset was. When he asked Kyle to help him, he didn't think his friend would go this far, but then again... Kyle had always been very straightforward when it came to basically everything ever. The redhead never bothered beating around the bush, always spoke his mind and sometimes it backfired on him. Still, it was a good trait to have as a person. Come to think of it...

„Where were you running off to anyway?“

„To give fatass my number.“

„Oh my god, Kyle.“

„What?“

„Kyle, you don't do that. You talked like once to him.“

„Twice now. I also kissed his cheek.“

„Oh, god fucking dammit, Kyle.“ By this point Stan was hiding his face in his hands, experiencing second-hand embarrassment due to his best friend's straightforward nature. Maybe it wasn't such a good trait to have after all. Kyle then climbed up on top of Stan to sit on his stomach before prying his hands off his flushed face and holding them above his head.

„Don't be jelly.“

„I'm not jelly. You're both an embarrassment to me and yourself.“

 

Just then someone cleared his throat, tapping onto the window as if it was the normal entrance.

„Sorry, am I interrupting something?“ Ocean blue eyes looked over the two boys, assuming only the worst from seeing the suggestive position both of them were in. However, both of them looked confused at that question.

„No,“ the redhead got off Stan's lap and instead walked up to the window. „Kenny, right? What do you want here?“

„I just came to rescue the princess from the tower, but I see I have to defeat the dragon Stan first!“ Kenny waved so dramatically, it even amused Stan despite him being labeled as the dragon and not the knight like he usually liked to think of himself.

„No, but seriously, wanna go for a smoke? There's something I wanna talk to you about. Alone.“ Kenny gave Stan a look and before the black haired boy could protest, Kyle already stopped him.

„Sit.“

„I'm not a dog.“ Contrary to his words, he still sat back down onto the bed.

„Good boy.“ Kyle spoke in that sweet voice, ruffling up Stan's hair as the boy groaned in protest. How cute. In no time at all, both Kenny and Kyle jumped down out the window, disappearing into the streets.

 

The blonde boy sure had a weird aura around him. Never did he see anyone this mysterious and yet so out there. Those eyes caught Kyle's attention, they were a clear blue, so clear that he always looks like he knows something you don't. It might just be true. Walking slowly, Kenny reached into his pocket, fishing out a pretty crumpled up box, at least the contents seemed to be intact. He brought one up to his mouth first before doing the same for Kyle and lighting it for him like a true gentleman would. Kyle inhaled, letting the smoke flow into his lungs and dance around his tongue before puffing out.

„Is that guy your boyfriend?“

„That's what you wanted to talk about? No, that's my best friend. I mean, we are way too close if you think about it, but there's no attraction. It's weird to explain.“

„No, I totally get it.“ Kenny smirked before fishing out a necklace from around his neck with half of a heart hanging off it. Was that a BFF necklace?

„Dorky. Who has the other half?“

„Eric.“ Kyle's eyes widened then, but so did his smile. All these people talked about was how dangerous Eric Cartman is, how he's manipulative and always plotting something to do to ruin people's lives. Yet he wears a BFF necklace. What a fucking dork.

„We've had them since we were like eight years old.“

„That's fucking adorable.“

„I know. Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about – that note. Is that your real number or were you just trying to play mind games with him? Because, as far as I can tell, it's working. As funny as it might be, I don't want him getting played.“ How admirable. Well, Stan would do the same for him. Probably. Maybe not.

„Nah, it's real.“

„Cool, that's all I needed to know. See ya.“ The boy dropped his finished cigarette then, stepping on it before waving Kyle a goodbye and disappearing just like he appeared.

 

Was Eric Cartman as bad as everyone said?

 

Eric Cartman was described, by almost everyone, as the most evil and vile human being on this entire planet. People spoke about him doing unimaginable things, ruining others lives in the most disgusting ways, while laughing maniacally and tasting their tears. It really piqued his interest in the beginning, but now he sees that there's always two sides to a coin. Or maybe he sent Kenny just to fuck with his mind? For all he knew this could all be a plan to get rid of him. Who knows? Still, even if it is, Kyle would have to congratulate the boy on doing so well. Because for the very first time in his life, Kyle felt doubt and this very faint fear for his own life.

 

„I can't believe I survived today without dying once.“

„Neither can I and to be completely honest, I'm disappointed.“

„Very funny. Anyway, I talked to your future boyfriend.“ Just then Cartman stopped drinking his soda and started choking for his dear life, Kenny doing nothing but watching with interest, expecting Eric to just drop down and die. If love was the one thing to kill this motherfucker, then Kenny wanted to see.

„What the fuck, Kinneh?! What did you tell him?! And who the fuck said I would date him in the first place--“

„I did. You need it, man. You think I don't see it? I come to your house and see you jacking off to softcore porn. Softcore, man. All that mushy, romantic shit. It's fucking sad, man. I cried at one point. I don't want to see you go down that route. Soon you will be jacking off to The Notebook.“ Kenny imitated his crying expression, his voice wavering as Eric's expression probably permanently just froze into a dead one. How much he hated this fucking guy. He was left speechless. That's how much he hated him.

„Please tell me you'll ask him out.“

„No way. Craig was right, we need to get rid of him.“

„Craig changed his mind.“

„What?“

„Craig changed his mind, I saw them at the coffee shop, talking civilly. I swear on my immortality, I saw him smile a little.“

„The more reason to drive him off! Who the fuck other than Tweek would manage to do that?“

„And who the fuck other than me would manage to love you? Get laid, dude. Maybe something will come out of it.“ Silence took over the room, it's true that Kyle was the only thing he could think about these past days, but it was stupid. It was just a stupid crush, it's not like someone like that would be interested in him. Maybe for a quick fuck at most. Honestly, Eric would rather stay alone than be used for sex.

„I saw you jacking off to redheads before I came in.“ Kenny whispered softly, pulling Eric from his daydreaming and at the same time, causing him to pull out his gun.

„Shit.“ Kenny hated dying and Eric knew he did.

 

„How'd it go?“ Stan asked, still lying on Kyle's bed and playing on his phone. Kyle sighed and plopped himself down, cuddling up to his friend and clinging to the warmth of his body.

„I think I'm starting to really fall for that guy.“

„Wait, the fat one or the weird one.“

„The fat one, obviously.“

„I'd take the weird one if I were you. You have bad taste in men.“

„The only man who you find attractive has a vagina so you have no right to criticize my taste in men.“

„And your man has man titties.“

„I like titties, Stan. Bisexual power.“

„I know, I know.“ Stan turned then to give his friend a reassuring kiss on top of his head. „If he breaks your heart, I'm calling Satan.“

„Oh god, don't remind me of that. I can't believe you had someone inside you sooner than me.“

„Same.“

 

 

 


	6. A war is coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -sips tea-

„I'm fucking sick of this!“ A girl rose, long blonde curls falling into her face, hiding just slightly how pissed off she actually was. With her arms crossed and tank top rising up you could clearly see her muscles. One might say this giant lady had nothing ladylike about her, but her friends would disagree with that. Oftentimes she was the only one strong and skilled enough to protect the girls, but as Cartman's gang grew, even she got overwhelmed. It's not as if Cartman ordered his men to harass the girls, he just didn't care enough to tell them not to.

„What do we do about it though, Bebe?“ Another girl spoke, looking as upset as everyone else present.

„I'll fight that fatass!“

„It's not that simple. I fought him when we were ten, but now he has too many people backing him up. He will never let you fight him one on one.“ There was the problem, Cartman was simply never alone, you couldn't catch that careful fucker alone if you tried. Wendy sighed, leaning her cheek into her hand before her eyes lit up in realization.

„Wait... The new kids!“

„What? Those Jersey guys?“

„Yes! Didn't you hear? The one that crossdresses – Kyle, he's actually a really nice guy and he's also already picking a fight with Cartman. When they first came here Cartman had at least twenty people jump him and his friend and they all ended up in the hospital. Those guys are insanely strong. Cartman is probably already scared of him.“

„...That's hot.“ Bebe concluded, giving a nod to her friend. If they were going to do this, those guys were their only chance at taking down Cartman.

 

„You want me to what?“ Kyle slammed his locker shut before looking into the pleading eyes of those two girls. This came out of nowhere, he only arrived here a few days ago and already he was starting a war? As proud as his mom may be, he didn't really feel like killing the one guy he thought is really attractive.

„You already picked a fight with Cartman, didn't you? We have problems with his gang as well, we want to help you. Become our leader.“ Well, this was even more unexpected, he was never even a part of any gang and all of a sudden people were asking him to become a gang leader? That was just his luck.

„Dude, I'm sorry, but I've never been in any gang nor do I want to kill fatass. I was kinda hoping to like, I don't know, go on a date with him.“ All the girls in the halls froze then, silence taking over. It's as if talking about being attracted to that guy was some kind of terrible sin you had no way of atoning for.

„Kyle--“

„Oh god, don't tell me he's straight.“

„No, no, he's gayer than Tweek and Craig, it's just... I don't know if he's really capable of having human emotions. Whenever he showed some kind of emotion, as far as we saw, it was all just manipulation.“ Wendy warned him, feeling like this was a necessity when dealing with Eric Cartman.

„How about this? We don't have to kill him – as much as it pains me – but we will fight his gang still. If you really want to show him you like him and that he can't fuck with you, your fists are your best bet in this case.“ Kyle actually considered Bebe's words, he did seem a little off and panicked and he hasn't called him yet even though he reassured Kenny it was his real number. For some reason Kenny found it necessary to make sure he wasn't just fucking around. Eric Cartman was a weird one, maybe Bebe was right. Maybe this was the only way to really get close to him since flirting didn't seem to work that well.

„Very well then, but he's my target. Only I get to fight him.“

„Okay. I'll bring as many girls as I can--“

„Don't.“ Kyle interrupted her. „I'm not dealing with losses. I see you're ripped, just bring yourself and I'll bring Stan.“

„What about me? You don't understand, Cartman's numbers are insane--“ Wendy interjected, feeling as if they were forgetting about her. She wasn't weak, this was unfair.

„Stan would be too distracted looking at you and end up getting himself killed. Trust me, three of us is all we need. I've done this before. Cartman's gang isn't the first one.“

 

This time, it was Kyle's turn to bother his best friend during his private time of masturbating in front of the laptop, looking at some fucking cartoon porn comics. Kyle entered with a loud sigh, the door slamming against the wall as loud as Kyle's footsteps sounded when he walked over to his best friend and plopped down into his boner present lap.

„Fucking hell, Kyle!“ Stan complained and tried shaking the redhead off, but Kyle was persistent on being clingy.

„Stan, we're going to a gang war with fatass.“

„First you wanna fuck him and now you wanna fight him?“

„I only wanna fight him a little. Anyway, you should be happy we're doing this, because the girls asked me to. Including Wendy. If we do this you'll be her hero.“ Immediately, the annoyed expression faded from Stan's face and he actually looked at Kyle, tearing his eyes away from his porn.

„I'm listening.“

„Basically, his guys are harrassing the girls way too much or something and like, they got fed up and now they want to kick his ass so I said okay, but I'll kick his ass personally – andfeelitwhileI'matit. Like, apparently he has too many people backing him up and they couldn't do this before so that's where we come in and basically today I became the leader of a girl gang. Don't ask me how or why, I'm still trying to process this myself.“ Stan just stayed quiet for a while before rubbing his forehead, already getting a migraine from all of this. It was just too much to take in all at once. But whatever, Wendy would be grateful and that's really all the motivation he needed.

„Does that mean I'm part of a girl gang now too?“

„You sure are.“

 

Honestly, it was a pretty good feeling, walking the hallways with a whole gang behind him. The girls have gotten more aggressive and Kyle encouraged it too. Take shit from nobody, he always said. Each and every girls listened, maybe having someone as strong as Kyle as their leader was just what they needed to become more confident. The girls were actually fighting back at anyone who even looked at them in the wrong way. It really made a difference because Kyle knew how to deal with guys such as those who harassed them. He really walked in his mother's footsteps, first the clothes, now the gang... but that was just the beginning. If he was anywhere near as good as his mother, he would soon take over Colorado. Not that he specifically aimed for that just yet, it was simply a possibility.

 

„Eric! Eric!“ Butters hurried towards his boss, looking even more terrified than he did when he first heard about the two Jersey boys moving in. This was worse, this was huge.

„What is it now?“

„Kyle, he--“ Just then, Kyle stormed in, heading straight for their table and wasting no time in jumping on top of it.

„Attention! This is a message for all gangs of South Park! A new gang has risen and I'm its leader. THE FIRST ONE I'M CHALLENGING IS ERIC CARTMAN!“ Kyle made sure everyone heard the last part, especially the boy who was now staring up at him on the table. Their eyes locked once again, but instead of any hatred or hesitance... the two boys smirked at each other. No one has ever done this before, it was a ballsy move because if Kyle somehow lost, he was risking his pride. He seemed confident he would win, confident he would bring both Eric and his gang down to his knees. That confidence... Eric loved it. Never had he laid eyes on anyone this sure of himself, or anyone this brave. It wasn't even that he was overly confident, he clearly realized how strong he was. Way too strong and ready to fuck him up. That look, no one looked at him like that in years, they didn't dare. Now this little Jew thought he had the guts to fuck with him? Smile still present, Eric stood up, staring into those magnetic eyes so deep he felt like he could die at any moment if he stopped.

„Tomorrow at 6pm on the basketball court. Don't disappoint me, big daddy.“

„Game on, whore.“

 


	7. He kissed me with his fists

Knives, bats, guns... They had everything and anything available.

It was quite impressive, but also quite worrying. For some reason Kyle liked collecting many various weapons despite only using his favorite baseball bat, you could say he had a little obsession with looting his victims off their weapons and money. The dead didn't need money, but his Jewish needs did.

„Holy shit.“ Bebe whispered as she walked into the basement, it looked more like a torture chamber than a storage. There was simply way too much. Even if Kyle had an obsession, there had to be a line that shouldn't be crossed. Not only did Kyle cross that line, he jumped over it and did a flip. With strength came craziness or so it seems. The redhead walked over to a box filled with bats and carefully picked up his favorite before swinging it in the air for good measure. Felt as good as ever. This was gonna be an interesting night, Kyle was already getting giddy.

„Take whatever you want, Bebe. Armor up too.“ The blonde girl nodded, walking over to some guns and a katana. Better be safe than sorry is what they always say.

„What's the plan?“ Stan finally asked, looking over the room and waiting on Kyle's choice of weapon being given to him. As expected, Kyle picked up a sniper rifle and handed it to his friend, giving him a smile.

„Bebe and I are going to break through, you cover for us.“

„Sure, boss.“ Kyle groaned at that, it was fucking embarrassing. He always thought it was stupid how people would call their gang leaders 'boss'. What are they the boss off? A bunch of dumb fucks?

„Wait, wait, wait--“ Bebe interrupted the two boys. „Are you really, REALLY sure about this? Maybe you don't realize how big Cartman's numbers actually are. As good as you may be, two people and one sniper won't simply cut it.“

Kyle simply waved his hand, dismissing the poor girl's worries. „You worry too much. We're gonna be fine. If all goes well I won't even miss dinner.“

„Dude, is your mom cooking lasagne?“

„She is.“

„Hell yeah.“ Bebe simply stared in disbelief, not knowing whether these two were simply way too confident or just plain fucking insane. If they really are as crazy as they sound, then maybe they can survive this. She's not betting on it though.

„Bye, mom! We're gonna go take a gang down!“

„Have fun, bubbeh!“ Scratch that, they're just fucking insane. His whole family is.

 

Kenny stared in disbelief as the entire field was flooded with people, they were completely surrounded by Eric's men with no weak spot in sight. Eric simply sat on the park bench, his foot shaking impatiently. There was something off about this whole thing, but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. That Jew... was he someone superhuman like Kenny? No, that would be way too easy.

„Dude, maybe you went overboard. There's way too many people here, he won't be able to handle himself, you ordered them all to aim to kill too. Do you really just wanna get rid of him?“ Kenny allowed himself to show his displeasure towards this whole ordeal. He liked Kyle. Kyle was a good guy – strong, pretty, hotheaded and most important of all; he wouldn't take any shit. Kenny has never seen anyone to be this perfect of a candidate for dating his childhood best friend. What could he do though? Once Eric had the intention to get rid of something, it was all over. Just then he noticed the doubt in Eric's eyes, both of them flickering as they exchanged looks. They had this connection, this sort of psychic communication ever since the whole ordeal of Eric stealing Kenny's eyes for his own benefit and later on, Kenny stealing Cartman's body to reside his soul in for a while. It was fucking weird, but then again, what in this town wasn't? If anything, they both couldn't imagine to be closer to anyone else in such a way.

„They're all going to die.“

„Who?“

„My men. I have a bad feeling about this.“ He was being genuine, his voice soft and brows furrowed in worry. He knew this boy was bringing in a storm to South Park. Kyle Broflovski would be the death of Eric Cartman.

 

„Hey, there, fatass!“ Kyle shouted, waving his bat in the air to make himself visible to his dreamy prince. Eric took in a breath then, wiping the worry off his face and standing up with a pretty convincing smirk. He had always been a good actor.

Kyle continued. „What are you doing there, hiding behind your army?“

„A King sits back and orders his pawns!“ Kyle couldn't help but grin at that. He really was cute.

„And a Queen takes charge!“

 

Just like his mama always said; take a deep breath, get in position and keep your grip strong on your weapon.

 

„Kyle, I want you to know that if I die today, you have a great ass.“

„Thanks.“ As ridiculous as that little exchange sounded just now, the girl looked worried and ready to face death. It might have been overwhelming for anyone, really. Kyle, however, trusted that she was strong enough to handle herself here. More than that, he trusted that Stan would keep them safe from wherever he was watching the fight. Kyle never asked where he would be sniping from, his eyes would look over and his position would be easier to spot. It was a big deal, trusting someone with your life like that, but Kyle had no doubt in his bone that this would turn out okay for all of them.

 

„Get me if you can, Jew!“ As if on command, Kyle pushed his body through, running and swinging through the crowd of people, his small frame making it easier to push through and avoid attacks. Everything happened way too fast, Kyle was way too fast. By the time Bebe realized what was going on, all she could really do was attack the people behind Kyle just to keep his blind spot a little safer, even if she knew Stan was on that job. He was in his element then, snapping necks, crushing skulls and using people as shields for bullets. They clearly aimed to kill him, there was no doubt that that was their order. Kyle appreciated that, it only meant that Eric wasn't underestimating him.

 

It all happened in a flash, Kyle storming through and leaving Bebe behind to fend for herself. It was a little cruel to leave her out surrounded as bait, but that's when the shots started. Stan covering Bebe instead of Kyle. He trusted Kyle to protect himself more, he just didn't know that girl too well yet. This was the first time he saw her fighting and he was impressed. Although one slip up was all she needed for certain death in a sea of people like that. Assuming she was fine surrounded by dead bodies, Stan switched and started clearing our the area around fatass before they could notice someone was protecting them from above.

 

However, as soon as that was happening, Eric noticed.

„Fuck.“

„Fuck!“ Kenny panicked far more than Eric, looking around and covering his best friend's head from a possible gunshot. He could afford to die, Eric couldn't. As much as he hated him sometimes, Eric wasn't a bad friend.

„He's not gonna shoot me.“

„What do you mean--“ Too preoccupied with looking around and trying to determine Stan's position, Kenny got yanked away from Eric with a bat pressing dangerously at his neck, effectively trapping him against the redhead's half naked body. Under any other circumstances, Kenny would find this hot.

„Sorry, it's nothing personal.“ Kyle whispered, giving him an apologetic look before looking back at Eric as if he just won. Kenny was his best friend, this would surely end the fight. If anyone did this with Stan, Kyle would want to end it too.

 

There was just a small detail Kyle didn't know about.

 

„Fucking shit! You owe me food for this one, you fat piece of shit!“ Kenny outright screamed before pulling out a gun and shooting himself in the head, dropping dead on the ground with a loud thump. Kyle's eyes widened, panicking at having been exposed suddenly and seeing Kenny kill himself just like that. What the fuck was up with that? Owe him food? What the fuck was going on?!

 

Just then, in his panic Eric took the chance to grab the redhead, not even sparing a look at Kenny's lifeless corpse lying there right beside them. Pushed down, Kyle's eyes were full of questions, he wasn't even afraid of death, he was just fucking confused.

„I-I thought he was your best friend--“

„He is.“ Eric muttered, using all of his body weight to keep Kyle down even though he wasn't trying to move away.

„It's fake, he's not really dead. Just knocked unconscious from the fall. He's gonna be okay and alive tomorrow.“ Cartman lied, knowing fully well that it was useless to try and explain Kenny's immortality to anyone. Nobody except him remembered anyway. Nobody else remembered that poor guy's curse. Kenny hated dying more than anything. This meant a lot.

Deciding to believe him rather than acknowledge what he saw, Kyle nodded. „You really freaked me out, dude. Congratulations on that. I didn't fucking expect that one in the slightest. People do say you're great at planning things out.“ The boy smiled weakly, still a little shook.

„And I see you're great at storming into things. That was fucking insane. More than half of my men are dead. The rest fucking hid from the sniper. Fucking cowards. I need someone like you. Join me instead. I want you.“ Moving in closer, Eric seemed to be determined. He was never this sure of anything else in his life. After watching him fight... The way he moved, the way he just pushed his way through towards victory... What he said yesterday wasn't just words. Eric was impressed. Hell, he was stunned.

Bodies pressing way too close together, Kyle shivered as his back suffered from the ground's freezing cold while his front was getting warmed up by Eric's adorable belly chub. Kyle decided to spread his legs further apart, wrapping them around his waist for more warmth.

„What makes you think I can be owned?“ As easy as pie, Eric was thrown off Kyle as if he wasn't in fact more than twice his weight. Surprise took over Eric and he couldn't react before he was punched in the face by none other than the Jersey boy himself.

„From now on, you will tell your guys, or what's left of them, to fuck off. You will also treat me and my girls with respect.“ Both Eric and Bebe stared in disbelief at Kyle. All of this, all of these dead people just so he could give Eric a single punch and tell him this? Fucking unbelievable. This guy had no sense of what he just did. He could kill him right now, Eric could be dead if Kyle decided to kill him right then and there. Instead, he asked for respect. Holding his bloody nose, Eric carefully stood up.

„...Okay. I will make sure you and your gang get the respect you deserve.“ The redhead smiled at that and Eric gave a glance towards Kenny's dead body, already getting devoured by rats. Maybe that poor piece of shit was right about what he was saying before. Deciding that yes, maybe it was worth a try, Eric took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around Kyle's shoulders, hiding his half naked form from the chilly evening in Colorado. Kyle raised an eyebrow at that, questioning such a sudden action, but he still liked it.

„Can I walk you home?“

„Yeah... Yeah, you can.“

 


	8. Main four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww look at the gay children bonding

Bebe just about had enough when she spotted Stan, approaching her along with his rifle on his back. Out of all of them, she looked the worst due to Kyle abandoning her in the middle of a sea of people. He was right though, she survived. The poor girl was battered, had a few bleeding wounds and a bullet went through her thigh, but other than that she felt fine. The smirk on her face spoke volumes. She loved this fight.

„Need me to take you to the hospital?“ Stan questioned her ragged appearance, but decided not to push it in fear of her snapping after having had such a rush.

„Nah, I'm great. Haven't felt this good since my first orgasm in the shower at the age of twelve.“

„Glad to hear that. Where did Kyle go anyway?“

„Dude, Cartman asked to walk him home. I mean, I knew he's gay, but that was the gayest thing I ever saw him do and that's including the fact that one time he dressed up as Britney Spears in his backyard and grinded against a paper cutout of Justin Timberlake.“

„Dude.“

„I know.“

„...Wanna stalk them?“

„Hell yeah.“

 

It was so peaceful, just walking slowly in silence alongside each other. All that could be heard was the wind rustling up leafs in their path. It was chilly, but the leather jacket coming down to his knees made damn sure he was kept warm, it was like being hugged by a giant bear, which is what Cartman reminded him of. Just so big and chubby and fluffy. Cuddling with him must be heaven. It smelled of cologne too, very faintly, but it was still there just to cover up the smell of cigarettes. Kyle knew this because he did the same. Stan always complained about the terrible smell and always shooed Kyle away whenever he even tried to smoke anywhere near him. Kyle hated the lectures, but he wasn't willing to smoke around his asthmatic friend just to spite him. That'd be low. Lost in his own thoughts, Kyle jumped when he heard the other speak up.

„You're pretty cool. For a ginger and Jew and being from Jersey, I mean.“

„Thanks, you're not so bad yourself. For a dork, I mean.“

„Dork?“

„BFF necklace. Kenny told me.“

„I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch--“

„I think it's cute. Don't worry about it.“ Eric relaxed then, letting out a big sigh. How could he complain if Kenny's bullshit actually got him to this point? Here he was, walking this adorable redhead home while he was all wrapped up in his jacket. All thanks to that poor shit. It'd come bite him in the ass soon enough though. When Kenny says he wants a meal, he will order for his entire family and then some. Eric would let it slide this time.

„So, you really were flirting with me?“ Eric started, needing to hear an explanation for all of that.

„Honestly, I thought you were flirting with me with the whole locker thing. Sorry if I got too ahead of myself.“

„No, I mean, I do think you're... really pretty, but I was being stupid and thought humiliating you was the way to go to get rid of you. I never expected you to actually take it so well, you're full of surprises.“

„You are too. That thing with Kenny? That was really fucking cool. I was actually scared for the first time in years when it happened, you're really impressive.“ The boys stopped in front of Kyle's doorstep, turning towards each other and exchanging little, shy smiles.

„So... you're staying here for good?“

„Seems that way.“

„We just can't get rid of you, can we? You dirty Jew rat.“

„Don't belittle my people, you fucking fatass.“ Kyle gave the teen a warning, sounding more playful than anything, before quickly disappearing back into his house along with the jacket. Eric was gonna be cold on his way home, but god, his heart was on fire.

 

„That was gay.“

„Yeah, that was really gay.“ The two teens commented, hiding in a nearby tree, really determined on stalking those two lovebirds.

 

„ERIC AND KYLE SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N--“ The poor boy was interrupted, having to duck before a water bottle hit him right in the face. As sure as a shit on a Sunday, Kenny was back, alive and well. Also, as annoying as ever. No one could possibly describe the sheer amount of joy and happiness that flooded Kenny's face after hearing that Eric listened to him and actually talked to his crush like a civilized person. And offering him his jacket? Fucking smooth.

„Dude, I can't believe you gave him your jacket. That was so gentlemanly, I feel like throwing up. In a good way.“

„That sneaky Jew stole it.“

„First of all – shut the fuck up. Second of all – the fact that he stole it means that he's really fucking into you. Just imagine,“ Kenny moved in closer to his best friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and staring up into space with his hand reaching out as if to display an image straight out of his wildest fantasies. „right now he's probably smelling your jacket, jerking off and moaning your name. Just imagine.“

„Fuck.“

„I know. Go take care of that boner, I need to as well.“

„Jesus fucking Christ, Kenny.“ Still, the two boys stood up and walked off in different directions. Eric into his own room and Kenny into the bathroom.

 

Some people might say it's awkward to just go ahead and approach the person of your and your best friend's sexual fantasy from just the day before, but he never had any shame. Sex is a part of nature, Kenny McCormick got along well with nature.

„Hey there, princess.“ Immediately, Kenny's arm was wrapped around Kyle, pulling him into a sort of hug as if the same boy he was holding right now didn't just attempt to kill him yesterday. Kyle's face immediately lit up then, only remembering what Eric told him about Kenny pretending to die. The actual image of Kenny's death was wiped clean from his memory.

„Dude, good acting on the court. You didn't hit your head, did you?“ Kenny's expression softened, immediately hugging the shorter redhead from behind and nuzzling his face into those beautiful red curls.

„I had a terrible headache after that, you could say. I'm fine now. Wanna ditch class with me and fatass? He still owes me food.“ Kyle gave Stan a look, on one hand he was too much of a nerd, but on the other hand he really wanted to ditch just to spend a little more time with these two guys. It was silent for a bit, but in that silence Kyle and Stan had a little personal conversation with nothing but their facial expressions, agreeing to going out in the end.

„Okay, we agreed to go.“

„That was freaky.“

 

All in all, it was a pretty peaceful and nice day for ditching out on school and getting yourself stuffed with junk food. Everyone seemed to get along well, relationships were beginning to form for all of them, all but Eric and Stan. Kenny clearly made out the little glances those two gave each other, as if sizing each other up and not knowing what to think of the other. It was pretty awkward to witness, but he couldn't really blame them. Neither of them seemed to be much into making conversation, maybe they didn't think they had much in common. Maybe their love for Kyle was the only thing they had in common, making both of them uncomfortable. Deciding it's best to just break it to them instead of beat around the bush, Kenny glared at them.

„You two need to get the fuck over it.“ All three of them stared at Kenny in disbelief and while Kyle was oblivious to the whole situation, Eric and Stan looked like they were just exposed.

„We are fine--“ Stan tried to argue, but Kenny was having none of it.

„Stan, I know, I totally get you.“ The blonde moved in closer.

„You do?“

„I do. We see our little babies growing up and we are so scared for them because we don't want them to get hurt. Because they're fucking stupid.“

„AY!“

„But that's part of growing up, if they start getting horny and want a good dicking, you gotta let them. You have to trust that they are ready for an emotional commitment. If they get hurt, tough shit. It's part of living life.“ Kenny finished, looking a little more serious than he did when he started. Surprisingly, nobody complained about his phrasing and instead Stan just nodded to him, admitting that maybe he was a little worried. He knew Kyle since they were born, they had always been super best friends, they were never once apart. Even though there never was any romance or sexual attraction between them, Stan had to admit that he got a little worried and maybe even a tiny bit jealous about someone else getting so close to his friend so fast. Kenny was right though, this was part of living. Whether he got hurt or not, it's all just part of the bigger picture. Sometimes you have to let the people you love do risky things, even if you don't want to see them cry in the end. Because even if their heart gets shattered into a thousand pieces, they know you'll always be there. And you know that all this fucking pain is just part of something beautiful in this fucked up universe.

 


	9. Kiss him goodbye at the door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao what is a 'heidi' ???????

„How's it going at school, bubbeh?“ Kyle lift up his gaze to look at his mother, unable to help the smile on his face once he saw how relaxed and peaceful she actually looked. Back in Jersey she was always screaming, always frowning and generally was just always aggressive and on her feet. It was the right way to live, nothing could get to her. This was a good change though. She's been glowing up lately. Both her and Kyle's dad. No need for details, catching them having sex was traumatizing enough.

„Pretty good, actually. I became the leader of a girl gang and then got into a war with these other guys, but we're really good friends now. The leader, he's really cool. He makes all these elaborate plans and he's always scheming something.“ Kyle looked dreamy as he talked about his crush, but soon enough he was interrupted by none other than his little brother.

„Is that the same guy that gave you that collar and his jacket?“

„Shut up, Ike--“

„Do go on, Ike.“ Gerald finally made himself known, looking up from his papers.

„Dad!“

„Gerald!“ Both Kyle and his mom interrupted, same tone, same expressions. It was like Kyle was an exact copy of his mother.

„I just wanna know more about the boy you like, Kyle. When are we going to meet him?“

„God, we didn't even have a date or anything yet, I don't want you guys to scare him off.“

„If you didn't scare him off, no one will.“ God, Ike just had to have the last word, didn't he?

„Smartass.“

 

Why did his family have to be so embarrassing? Kyle sighed, plopping down onto his bed, still unable to wipe that smile off his face. It was stupid, but being here was a lot of fun. He never had any other friends except Stan and now that was changing, they were surrounded by amazing people. He felt like he only started living after moving to South Park.

Interrupted from his daydreams, Kyle's eyes focused on his window, seeing that someone was throwing small rocks at it.

„What the fuck?“ The redhead muttered to himself, but once he opened his window and saw just who it was, his heart jumped in joy. There he was – Eric Cartman in all his glory, looking up with that always present smug look.

„Get down, Jew. I wanna hang out.“

„Lame. Kenny was way more romantic, he even climbed up to my window.“

„Well, Kenny's a traitorous piece of shit.“

„You're just jealous that he always has his hands on me.“

„Maybe I am, so what?“ Kyle didn't expect that answer, he could feel his heart beat just that little bit faster. During these past few weeks of hanging out with them, Kyle found it hard to read into the things Eric said. He always said these weird things and you never knew what he actually thought, so him being direct and honest like this was something different, but also really nice for a change.

„Catch me!“ Kyle warned the boy before quickly grabbing his warm orange jacket and jumping out of the window right into Eric's arms. The poor, fat boy gasped at such an impact, but he quickly calmed himself down, or at least attempted to when he felt Kyle staying in his arms for just a little while longer. It was nice, holding someone this close. Eric couldn't remember the last time he was actually shown physical affection. Other than Kenny, but that was different. Kenny was Kenny. This boy set his soul on fire. It was a completely different kind of feeling. It was passionate, it was intoxicating, everything about this boy was like looking at an old movie and feeling nostalgia about things that had never happened. He was drawn to him as if their souls were fucking tied together, cursed to always find themselves in this massive universe and ache whenever they had to part. When he looked at him, all he could think of was how grateful he was to be born into a world where someone like him existed.

„Where are you taking me to?“ Kyle softly whispered, not wanting to ruin their little moment. It didn't, Eric still stared at him with the same amorous look he did before.

„I'm just kidnapping you, don't worry about the details.“ Eric smiled before walking off towards his motorcycle along with Kyle still in his arms. He could really get used to this. Kyle was pretty tiny compared to most guys, although no one could ever compete with Tweek height wise. That guy was gnome sized, much for the irony.

 

The speed, the cold, the stars shining down onto the snow and lighting up their way out of town – it all felt so timeless. No one existed but them, in the entire world time just stopped while they went on riding out of a reality that was too difficult to understand. The love, the desire, the undeniable feeling of belonging – it all came crashing down on them. Maybe it was just a crush or maybe it was love at first sight. Maybe it was even two lovers from the long lost past finding each other again. Who the fuck knows? None of it mattered when Kyle's grip on Eric's waist tightened and he hid his face into his back. No words were spoken, the world spoke for them.

 

„Dude, I can't believe you took me out all the way to North Park just to eat Burger King on a bench at 1:30 in the morning.“ The boy laughed, lifting up his legs to get into a more comfortable position and lean against Eric's shoulder. He really radiated warmth.

„Are you complaining?“ Without hesitation, he wrapped his free arm around Kyle, pulling him in closer while stuffing his face with a burger.

„Fuck no. I couldn't imagine a more perfect date.“

„I could.“

„Oh, yeah?“ Kyle raised his eyebrows before his eyes widened and his smile grew double its original size. Eric was singing to him.

„ _Feet don't fail me now_  
_Take me to your finish line_  
 _Oh my heart it breaks every step that I take_  
 _But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine._ “

Kyle couldn't help letting out a giggle, slipping even closer towards the larger boy and nuzzling his face into his neck. It's not like he could see it in this dark, but this got him blushing terribly. Placing one hand onto Eric's chest, he could clearly feel his heart beating. In this very moment, it was only beating for him.

„ _Walking through the city streets_  
_Is it by mistake or design_  
 _I feel so alone on a Friday night_  
 _Can you make me feel like home if I tell you you're mine?_ “

He closed his eyes then, deciding that the stars couldn't possibly compare to the beauty of Eric's voice.

„ _Don't make me sad, don't make me cry_  
_Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why_  
 _Keep making me laugh,_  
 _Let's go get high_  
 _The road is long, we carry on_  
 _Try to have fun in the meantime._ “

 

Once again, the boys found themselves on Kyle's doorstep, but this time Eric didn't need a bloody nose.

„I had fun, thank you.“ Kyle's voice was soft, his words nothing more than a gentle whisper before he moved in closer to the boy, having to get on his tippy toes to press his lips against Eric's. It was only for a second and Kyle was gone again before Eric could even open his eyes, but in that little second he felt electricity run through his veins. It was a rough spark, but his heart beat so peacefully as if it just found home. He was left wanting more, so much more.

 


	10. Drunk texting

„You two fucked!“ Was the first thing that came out of Kenny's mouth when he saw that starstruck expression on his best friend's face. He was smiling. That cold dead, emotionless son of a bitch was actually smiling as if he was a high school girl experiencing love for the very first time. Guess that wasn't completely untrue. All he needed to do to complete this look would be his Bad Irene wig and some makeup.

„We didn't. Yet.“

„OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!“ At that, Kenny absolutely lost his shit, jumping up and flailing around his arms.

„SO YOU ADMIT YOU LIKE HIM! YOU WANNA FUCK HIM!“

„I do! So what?!“ Eric groaned, complaining all the way through being hugged as tightly as humanly possible. Despite Kenny being stick thin, he did have a lot of strength, at least far more than Eric did.

„My little man is growing up...“

„Stop it, Kinneh. You're being fucking gay.“

„You're fucking gay.“

„You're too.“

„Only half.“ Kenny let go of his little man then, just eyeing him up with that proud smile. This really was something amazing. Growing up, Kenny felt sorry for this guy. He thought that Eric was incapable of feeling human emotions, especially loving someone. Through their whole childhood, Kenny was the only one who was ever shown any affection and love from this monster, but it was simply the bond they shared. No one could ever compare to what these two had. Unlike Stan, Kenny wasn't worried at all. This was a different type of love his friend was experiencing for the very first time. Whether it would last or not, Kenny's never seen Eric look this human.

„Let's fucking drink to this, dude.“

„Fuck yeah.“

 

„Well, well, well. What do we have here?“ The small boy tapped his foot, arms crossed as he viewed his big brother return to his room. He went to Kyle's room because of a nightmare he had, but what he found was nothing.

„Ike? Shouldn't you be sleeping?“ The redhead took off his jacket, instantly taking a seat beside his little brother just to pull him into a hug, knowing that whenever he appeared here, it was to seek out comfort. Kyle felt a little guilty for just going out like that unannounced, especially considering his baby brother needed him. But really, who could predict that?

„I had a bad dream.“

„About dead celebrities again?“

„Mm. Why were you out this late?“

„I, uh...“ Kyle stuttered for a bit, not really wanting to tell the truth, but it was already too late. Ike would see through any lie he'd come up with here. „I kinda went on a date... with Eric.“

„With fatass?“

„Yeah.“

„Why?“

„What do you mean why?“

„You have bad taste in men, Kyle.“ There it was, that completely judgemental stare Ike always gave him when he didn't approve something.

„Why does everyone tell me that? Besides, you have no right to say anything, you had sex with your kindergarten teacher.“

„Yeah, but I also left her to kill herself. I learned from my mistakes.“

„Well, I don't have any mistakes to learn from yet. He's charming, Ike. He's an amazing tactician too, I bet you'd love him if you just gave him a chance.“

„...I guess.“ Kyle hummed, pulling Ike into his lap to cuddle him closer before his phone interrupted him.

„Speak of the devil.“ Kyle didn't pay much mind and just opened the text message right in front of Ike's face, regretting it almost instantly, due to this being a bad first impression for his stubborn little brother.

„...Is that him?“

„...Yes.“

„...Why is he jumping on his bed, holding a bottle of whisky along with another guy while having a full face of makeup, blonde wigs and dresses. And is that other guy wearing a crown?“

„I think we can assume he's drunk.“

„Not even Stan does this while drunk.“

„Stan's a sad drunk though.“

„True.“ It was a little bit of a surprise, but it was rather nice. The more he was finding out about Eric, the more he seemed to fall for that dork. Kenny was right, Eric ain't shit in reality. He is a genius at strategies and manipulation, but when it comes to his personal life, he's just over the top, in a strange, but cute way. This guy loves singing, dancing and apparently dressing up as a girl.

 

Eric stared up at the ceiling, slightly out of it due to the alcohol. Kenny was fast asleep right beside him and usually he would kick him off onto the floor, but right now all he could really think of was grabbing that phone and looking at Kyle's response.

[kyley-b]: hot

 

Eric couldn't help the huge smirk that spread over his face. He had to admit, Kenny's drunken ideas often led to amazing things. Such as being called hot by the boy he was crushing really hard on.

 

[coon]: which one

[kyley-b]: you obviously

[kyley-b]: i like my girls thick

[coon]: you like girls? ew

[coon]: they have cooties

[kyley-b]: lmao you're such a brat

[coon]: yehh i'm totally a stupid spoiled whore

[kyley-b]: stupid and spoiled maybe, but you're not a whore

[coon]: thanks

[coon]: you look more like the whore anyway

 

The boy stopped then, staring at the screen as he was not getting a new message. For a split second he thought he fucked up, regretting his choice of words, but just then a new picture brought him back down to earth. It was Kyle holding up his shirt with his teeth, showing off those perky little tits and pulling down his underwear just enough to see that thick, curly red bush he was hiding in his pants.

 

„Holy shit.“ The chubby boy whispered, feeling himself getting hard.

[kyley-b]: i don't know what you mean lmao

[coon]: are you using your jew powers to turn me on because it's working

[kyley-b]: yes fatass that's exactly what i'm doing

[coon]: why you gotta be like that

[kyley-b]: just for the hell of it i guess

[coon]: i really like you dude

[coon]: maybe it's the alcohol talking

[coon]: but

[coon]: i've never met anyone like you

[coon]: idk i probably sound stupid

[kyley-b]: nah, i feel the same way dude

[kyley-b]: i thought you were hot ever since i saw you for the first time

[coon]: can't blame you i'm really fucking hot

[kyley-b]: any more and your ego will pop

[coon]: make it pop

[kyley-b]: i think i'll save that for a later date

[coon]: sweet

[kyley-b]: now get your drunk ass to sleep

[coon]: well fuck me mom okay goodnight

[kyley-b]: night baby boy

 

For just this once, when he closed his eyes that night, he didn't see any terrible imagery or tortured voices inside his head. For just this once, the boy fell fast asleep, with nothing but comforting peace.

 


	11. The universe decides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clyde's a fucking dork

„Hello, boys.“ The redhead waved, his beautiful bright curls moving along with the wind, devilish eyes hiding behind sunglasses. Although you couldn't tell from his eyes, you definitely could tell from his matching red smirk, that he had certain things in mind. His half naked body was hid only by Eric Cartman's huge leather jacket, coming down to almost his knees, but still revealing his bare legs. They were spread apart as he was leaning his hands against his bat in front of him. Ever since the big fight people have learned not to fuck with Kyle. A lot of the time he would wear Eric's jacket. People thought it was to show that he was the new boss in town, but to Kyle it was just because he loved having something of Eric's on himself. They did go on a date and Kyle did kiss him, but they weren't quite officially boyfriends yet, so he couldn't just demand people to fuck off their own turf. He had to fight them. Why? Because now that he was the leader of South Park's girl gang, they needed their own turf too. And what better place than the spots owned by Eric's gang? Kyle wondered just how much he could tease him, just how much he would actually step back and still show respect. It looked like Eric didn't care much for losing turf, just like he said, he would make sure Kyle and his gang got the respect they deserved.

„Are you Kyle?“

„Sure am, honey.“

„Cartman gave us the order to free up whatever turf you want.“

„What a gentleman.“

„Yeah, but we don't want to.“ Just then, Kyle pushed his sunglasses up into his wild hair, popping his lips and giving another charming smile to the boys surrounding him. He noticed their hateful stares then, they obviously didn't like someone else taking control, nor did they ever expect someone like Eric to back down.

„Boys, I really don't think you should be defying orders. I bet your big daddy would be angry if he knew.“ Just as he said that, the exact same guy that was arguing with Kyle got shot clean through the forehead. Kyle turned around then, not expecting something like that. Was that Stan? He told him he didn't need help, but Stan could be stubborn sometimes.

„I sure as fuck am angry.“ It wasn't. Deep voice, strong hands and cigarette smoke enveloped Kyle's senses as he felt being pulled into an embrace from behind. The softness of his chubby tummy was unmistakable.

„Seems like your guys were acting up.“

„I know. Anyone else needs to be taught some fucking manners?!“ Eric spat out, sounding way more forceful than Kyle ever heard him to be. Fuck, he was just finding him hotter and hotter. „Remember this, you low life pieces of shit, if you ever disrespect what's mine again, consider yourselves dead.“ Silence overtook the street and nobody dared to even move in fear of triggering Eric's finger on the gun. They knew their leader could have serious anger problems, especially when it came to things he wanted. Things like Kyle. Kyle looked up, leaning back into Eric.

„Is this your way of asking me out?“

„...Well, does it work?“

„Fuck yeah.“ The redhead turned around, dropping his baseball bat only to wrap his arms around Eric's neck and pull him down into a proper kiss. Their lips moved against one another and Kyle quickly took charge, pushing his tongue into Eric's mouth. They stayed like that for a while and before they pulled away, Kyle playfully bit Eric's bottom lip. It was nothing like that little kiss at the door, this was far more satisfying. He finally had him. He never felt this accomplished in his life. Kyle was his. He was Kyle's.

 

Suddenly, it felt like the world made perfect sense. They were meant for each other and they realized that. There was nothing that could ever keep their souls from connecting in any universe. Eric knew that whatever world they may be reborn into, they would always find each other again. Because this just felt too right, this was just too nostalgic. It was like he kissed him before and he knew he wanted to keep kissing him till the end of time.

 

„About fucking time you two got together! The sexual tension was killing me.“ Kenny exclaimed and surprisingly, Stan nodded in agreement.

„Shut up, Kinneh. It wouldn't be the first thing to kill you.“ Kenny grimaced at that, pulling out his tongue at Eric. Due to nobody else remembering Kenny's deaths, it seemed like some sort of inside joke between the two. It wasn't that far from the truth either, Eric considered Kenny's death to be hilarious fucking jokes. Seriously, who the fuck dies because of the doctors replacing their heart with a baked potato? Kenny still had this disgust towards the hospital to this day. No wonder.

„Ahh! We got another gay couple at school?“ An unknown boy beamed, causing Kyle to look up from his spot in Eric's lap. He was quite chubby too, though not as much as Eric. Another brunette.

„Oh, god, fuck off, Clyde.“ Eric groaned, hiding his face into Kyle's neck. Clyde took that as a good enough invitation to sit down beside them. Unlike Eric, Kyle was way more friendly and actually shook the boy's hand.

„Clyde Donovan, I'm with Craig's gang.“

„Oh, that's why I haven't seen you around much. Is he... y'know, still angry about the incident?“

„He's a bitter asshole, don't take it personally. But I wanted to ask... Is Bebe okay? She hasn't been to school for a few days.“ Clyde's face looked pretty damn worried and Kyle picked up pretty quickly on that.

„Don't worry, she got torn up a bit at the fight, but she's okay, she's just resting at home. When I visited her she screamed at me about how 'fucking dope' that was and how we should do it more often.“

„I'm glad.“ Clyde immediately relaxed, the tension leaving his body as the others at the table snickered and Eric muttered a quiet 'fag'. This just confirmed Kyle's suspicion, Clyde had a crush on Bebe. However, Kyle didn't know to what extent this crush actually went. Nor did he know why Bebe wasn't already dating a cute boy like him.

„Wanna come visit her after school with me?“

„I, uh.. yeah, if you don't mind.“

„Clyde, get your ass over here!“ A monotone voice shouted as much as it was capable while still maintaining that uncaring tone and Clyde scrambled himself up to join his friends, giving a small wave to Kyle.

„Dude, he's been crushing on her ever since kindergarten.“ Kenny spoke through his muffled laughter.

„Is that so?“

„Yeah, good luck playing wingman. He gets really nervous and always says stupid shit around her.“

„That's kinda like Stan. Didn't you throw up on Wendy yesterday?“

„Yeah...“ Stan muttered, hiding his face away in shame.

 

„You shouldn't be overworking yourself.“ Kyle warned the girl, stopping her midway through her routine of pull ups. It was admirable that she kept herself in shape even though she had been injured just a few days ago.

„I'm fineeee.“ The girl whined, but still stopped and plopped down onto the bed to catch her breath.

„Guess what.“

„What?“

„I'm dating Eric Cartman.“ At which the girl immediately sat back up, staring in disbelief at her leader.

„No fucking way.“

„Fucking yes. Listen to this, he took me on a date and all and he sang to me and everything. And yesterday he like, killed one of his guys for disrespecting me and that's how he actually asked me to date.“

„Yep, sounds like Cartman.“

„Guess what else.“

„What?“

„Clyde has a crush on you.“

„Donovan?“ It didn't seem to surprise Bebe as much as Kyle thought. Maybe she wasn't interested?

„Yeah, I asked him to come visit you, but in the end he made up some excuse. I think he was just shy.“

„Hm... I guess that makes sense. He comes up to me and says stupid shit that doesn't even make sense. Sometimes it's even offensive and I end up punching him on reflex.“ Kyle snorted at that, pretty amused with their current relationship.

„Why don't you give him a chance?“

„I will when he gets over himself.“

„Might take a while.“

„Yeah.“

 


	12. Many ways to love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kenny centered chapter because i can

Kenny McCormick was a simple man. With simple needs and a simple way of life.

 

And even though he liked keeping things simple, there was little he could do to control certain things in his life. Sure, it might seem natural because in the end, nobody can really control the world they are born into. You have to deal with things as they come and go. You can't control people leaving you, friendships coming to an end, falling in love, fucking some things up, making mistakes like literally everyone else in the whole world.

 

But for Kenny it wasn't just that. He wished it was just that. Unlike most people Kenny couldn't control becoming best friends with a sadistic sociopath everyone believed was a neonazi, being immortal, dying on a regular basis, meeting Cthulu, accidentally throwing a shuriken into a cute boy's eye, watching over a meth lab, selling drugs, becoming previously mentioned sociopath's right hand man in a huge gang and things like that. Things that regular people simply didn't need to deal with. Eric worried, but it really was no surprise Kenny would often turn up high.

„All the drugs are gonna fry your brains.“ He always said.

„I'm just gonna be reborn with a new one.“ Kenny always replied.

 

It's just the way he went on with his life. He tried not to worry, endured all the gruesome ways of dying. Kenny was generally pretty quiet and observant, although don't get it wrong, he loved talking. He loved talking to Butters, that boy was just too adorable when he got excited about the most basic things. He loved talking to Craig even though it was just a few words being exchanged when they smoked together. He loved talking to Tweek, despite his ears ringing after one of his outbursts. He loved talking to Jimmy, even though he had to wait longer than usual for the boy to finish a sentence. He loved talking to Token, teasing him about being his sugar baby and shamelessly asking for money from his daddy.

 

He loved talking to Eric, but what he loved more was when the fat asshole shut up for once. Because their silence was comfortable. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird. It was a silence they shared and loved. They understood each other wordlessly and sometimes that's all you need from a friend. It was harmony.

 

In this fucked up world, the boy's most treasured time was the peace and quiet he shared with Eric Cartman.

 

Sure, he was screwed in the head and appeared as an emotionless bastard to everyone around him, but Kenny knew better than that. It might have been the selfishness that brought them undeniably close. Whether it was Eric actually taking his head from his corpse and getting a transplant for his eyes, now effectively sharing a part of his body with him or drinking his ashes and becoming possessed by Kenny's soul for a while. Unrelated, but Kenny thought it was hilarious that if it ever came down to it, he was inside Eric sooner than Kyle.

 

The most selfish thing he might have done though was when he actually tried to save him from dying. It was the time they confessed they always considered each other best friends, Kenny was very happy at that time. It was the first time he genuinely saw Eric cry out of nothing but pure sadness, pure agony. He still remembered his voice cracking when he gave that stupid speech in front of so many influental people, not caring whether it was being broadcasted all over America.

 

„I love Kenny McCormick.“

 

It was the first time ever that Eric admitted to loving another person and meant it. Kenny loved him too. He didn't manage to save him, but in the end, Kenny didn't care much for that. He was kind of glad it happened too, because he knew for a fact that they would never admit such embarrassing things if it weren't for the situation.

 

Though there was just one person he loved more than Eric, more than anyone else. It was a special kind of love. She was an angel, the world was undeserving of her. She was too good for this world and he didn't want her to suffer or have circumstances mark her like they did to him. She was his biggest happiness and at the same time his biggest fear. He would die a million times if it guaranteed her beautiful smile would never leave her face. That's why he became her hero, her guardian angel. His love for her was the purest kind.

„Kenny, what are you doing?“ The girl whispered, now sitting straight up on her bed, Craig's little sister fast asleep right by her side. They often spent time together, held hands and slept cuddled up next to each other. Kenny never asked, but he could tell from the way they looked at each other that it was a different kind of love. It wasn't the love they shared. Nor was it the love he shared with Eric or Kyle shared with Stan. Kenny was happy that she found this kind of happiness despite everything that was so obviously wrong, despite having to worry about being attacked on a regular basis. The boy stopped in his tracks, finally looking at her through the door. He meant to sneak out quietly, but their floors were way too creaky for that.

„Going out?“

„At this time?“

„Yeah. Just for a walk.“

„Okay. Be careful. I love you.“

„I love you too, Karen.“

 

To Kenny McCormick, love was something that came as natural as breathing, but at the same time he knew how god damn special it was. And Kenny loved love, Kenny loved life. It was the most important feeling to him on this earth. Whether he saw other people in love, or loved them himself. Kenny loved sex too, but even to him that wasn't enough. He didn't quite feel the same type of love to anyone like Karen felt towards Ruby, or Craig felt towards Tweek, or Eric felt towards Kyle.

 

He didn't feel the need to, he didn't feel incomplete.

 

To him, love was lying to his little sister about going out just for a walk so she wouldn't be worried about his safety and could keep on sleeping. To him, love was staying up awake until the morning with his best friend, holding him in his arms during another breakdown even if some of those times ended with him getting killed during a particularly terrible episode. Love was watching his best friend crying over his dead body, even though he knew he would just be back the next day. Love was coming back the next day and being crushed with a hug from his sister because she couldn't sleep with him outside for such a long time at such a dangerous hour.

 

Kenny loved with his whole heart and he was loved just as much.

 

The carpet was fluffy and comfortable, just like it had always been. It was as soft as the chubby boy leaning into his side, resting his head on his shoulder while Kenny was busy rolling up his joints.

„Thank you for being there yesterday.“

„Don't mention it.“

„I'm sorry for killing you again.“

„It's okay, you weren't thinking.“

„It didn't happen in a long time. I was seeing things again. I thought I was killing someone else.“

„Did something set it off?“

„I don't know. Maybe. I went to my dad's grave, I thought after all that time I would be okay with it. Thought I could control my emotions.“

„There's some things we can't control, Eric. I would know.“

„I'm sure you would, you poor piece of shit.“

„Bite me, fatass.“ And so he did, actually biting into Kenny's hand and scaring the poor boy senseless, his hood flying off his head as the joints he assembled were now thrown all over the floor.

„Holy shit! Fuck you, dude!“

„You asked for it, Kinneh.“

 

Just like there were many different ways of loving, there were also many different ways of telling someone 'I love you', some of them being 'poor piece of shit' and 'bite me, fatass'.

 

„How do I, you know, tell Kyle that I like, seriously like him?“

„I don't fucking know, bite him. It seems to be your way of showing affection.“

„True. I think I'll do that.“

„Fucking moron.“

 


	13. Paradise disrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friends kiss each other the fuck you mean

„Your parents aren't home?“ The redhead questioned, taking off his jacket and putting down his bag on the floor before shuffling through it.

„Nah, mom's working. Dad is dead.“ Kyle froze at that, not expecting such a blunt answer. He exchanged glances with Stan for a split second, but then Kenny slapped his back to reassure him everything was fine.

„Dude, his mom is a slut. You should see her sex toy collection.“

„Fuck you, Kinneh!“

„With your mom's toys? Gladly.“ As if he really was about to do that, Kenny disappeared into an unknown direction, presumably Eric's mom's room. Eric didn't seem to mind, in fact it seemed like this was normal for them, he looked comfortable and even a bit happy to argue with his friend like that.

„Oh, yeah. Can you store this in your fridge for me? Since I don't wanna hurry home in the morning, I thought I would take it with me.“ Kyle spoke again, pulling out an insulin pen and handing it to his, dare he say, boyfriend.

„What's this?“ Eric looked at it as if it was a strange alien construction.

„Insulin.“

„You're diabetic?“

„Yeah.“

„Weak.“

„I know.“ Kyle nodded, unable to count all the times he got annoyed with his condition. No amount of men could really compare to his brute strength and take him down, but diabetes would be the most likely thing to do him in. It was as ridiculous as it felt.

 

„DUDE! Check this out!“ Kenny barged into the kitchen, rejoining his group of friends, holding a dragon dildo in his hand. Eric made a disgusted face, not wanting to know where that thing had been or why his mother even bought something that weirdly shaped in the first place.

„I have one just like that--“ Kyle blurted out and everyone stared at him in silence, everyone but Stan. He had known Kyle all his life, he knew things about him that he sometimes wishes he didn't. The more Eric found out about this guy, the more intriguing he was. Diabetes? Dildos? What else?

„Nice.“ Both Eric and Kenny whispered out, still pretty taken back by it, but obviously liking the image that popped into their heads because of it.

„Wanna put on a show for us--“ The perverted boy got silenced by a smack to the back of his head by none other than Eric.

„I don't think my boyfriend would be too happy with that.“ The redhead's eyes locked with his, exchanging small smiles. He seemed to like being called that. They only started dating a while ago, but there was this perfect harmony and mutual respect. They didn't know a lot of things about each other either, but they still talked as if they had known each other since they were born. It didn't matter, they had all the time in the world to explore everything they had to offer.

 

Kyle sat comfortably in Eric's lap, those two already used to being in this position wherever they might be sitting. It was really comfortable, Eric was like this huge soft chair and Kyle could just melt in his warm embrace. On the other hand, Kyle was like this small stuffed toy, it was a little childish, but Eric liked the feeling of holding stuffed toys close to his chest. Kyle was way better though. Good thing Kenny managed to convince him to grow out of it though, it would have been embarrassing today. They were watching a movie, but nobody really seemed to care about it at this point, instead Kenny brought out the most basic game in the history, insisting that it was no sleepover unless they played it.

„Truth or dare?“

„Dare.“ Kyle replied, pretty curious to see what this perverted blonde could come up with, but the answer was pretty disappointing. Well, at least he didn't have to embarrass himself.

„Kiss Stan.“

„Easy.“ Kyle pulled stretched himself out, letting Eric take a good, hard look at his ass while he gave Stan a quick peck on the lips. Neither of them seemed to be fazed by it, which was interesting, but also a relief. Kenny and Eric, although rarely, could get kinda affectionate as well. Jealousy would be an ugly thing between them.

„What are you, fucking gay?“ The chubby boy joked, sizing up his own gay boyfriend before he too was kissed on the lips and happily returned the favor.

 

By the end of the movie both Kenny and Stan fell asleep on Eric's bed, spreading out and leaving no room for the actual couple on the bed. Eric rolled his eyes and Kyle held back laughter as they saw them look so peaceful sleeping next to each other, Kenny's arm and leg thrown across Stan's body. Quietly, the two boys stood up, deciding to leave the 'lovebirds' alone and instead went downstairs where there was a couch to sleep on, but also a midnight snack for Eric.

„Weren't you jealous when I kissed Stan?“

„Nah, he's your best friend or some gay shit like that, if you wanna make out with him then by all means do so.“

„Did you make out with Kenny?“

„One time when we got drunk. We were twelve and raided his dad's liquor cabin.“

„Cute. Was he your first kiss then?“

„No. Wendy was.“

„Wendy?“ Kyle stared in disbelief, not only did he kiss a girl, but it was Wendy, the one person his best friend was crushing really hard on. Well, it wasn't that shocking, kids do weird things when they're young. Especially when it comes to sexuality.

„Yeah. We worked on a project together and for some reason she realized how fucking hot I am and couldn't concentrate on anything but sexy ol' me so she kissed me in front of all these people and instantly went back to normal. We didn't even date or anything, she just immediately lost interest after she got it out of her system. It was weird. But we were eight so who cares.“

„What a cold bitch!“ Kyle gasped, earning a laugh from him. He went up onto his tippy toes then, gently kissing his bear of a man as if to comfort him even though he didn't need it. They both got stupid smiles on their faces while doing so, giggling like some school girls. Such was young love.

„Still interested?“

„More than ever.“

„Sweet. Wanna wear my shirt? None of you idiots bothered to change clothes before.“ Eric knew Kyle brought a bag with him and Kyle knew that Eric knew. Still, they both chose to ignore it in order for just this tiny bit of intimacy. Eric took off his shirt then, revealing all the chub on his body that actually spread out very nicely along him. He looked so soft. Kyle took off his crop top and shorts then too and he let out a sigh of relief once he slipped into that giant shirt. It came down almost to his knees, just like the leather jacket, but damn, it felt like heaven.

„You look like a little kid in that.“

„Tuck me into bed then, daddy.“ Kyle spread out his arms and just a second later he was already picked up by his boyfriend.

„Can I leave a mark on your neck?“ Eric asked, remembering Kenny's advice. He really felt the need to show him his love right now. This was one way he apparently knew how. Kyle smiled and tilted his head to the side, revealing more of his neck, ready to be marked. Eric's lips and tongue felt nice, it made him shudder and once he felt his teeth sink it, he let out a small moan. That wasn't nearly everything though, Eric made sure that bruise would stay there for a few days at least, kissing and sucking all over. Kyle might have liked the biting a little more than he expected himself to like it too.

„You look nice with bruises on you.“ Kyle smiled against him, nuzzling his tired face into his body.

„I'm sure you'll have plenty time to give me more later. Let's go to sleep now.“ Eric listened, lying down onto the couch with Kyle on top of him and pulling a nice, fluffy blanket over the two of them. Kyle had to stay on top of him because there was no room on the couch, but he wouldn't move off this soft bear anyway.

 

As if there was an alarm clock built into Kyle's body, he woke up early in the morning, standing up and heading straight to the kitchen. The redhead rubbed his sleepy eyes, burning them with the light from his phone due to having to check the time. Perfect. He went on about his usual routine then, taking his insulin and injecting himself with it before looking for coffee in Eric's kitchen. God knows he needed it. Just then he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Who the fuck was it this early in the morning? Eric groaned in annoyance and Kyle stroked through his hair as he headed to the door.

„I'm gonna get it.“ The chubby boy muttered a soft 'alright' and Kyle wasted no time opening it and staring straight up at the giant standing in front of him. Craig Tucker. The giant looked over Kyle's disheveled appearance, wearing a shirt that obviously wasn't his along with hickeys covering his neck.

„What are you doing at Cartman's house?“ Craig seemed to forget what he actually went to Cartman's house for in the first place, not expecting to see Kyle here. He had been avoiding them pretty much since the incident, but things changed under these circumstances.

„Well, what are you doing knocking at my boyfriend's door at fuck o'clock in the morning?“

„South Park is under attack.“

„Come in.“

 


	14. The alliance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waging war in tweek's name? that's gay

„What the fuck?“ The chubby boy muttered upon seeing Craig of all people waltz into his house as if it belonged to him. Fucker always got an attitude problem. Wasting no time, Eric grumpily collected himself off his warmed up sleeping spot on the couch and glared daggers at the intruder, all the while making coffee. Two cups. For him and Kyle. The passive aggression was quite obvious in him and it wasn't lost on Craig either. It was whatever for him, he had to live on coffee if he wanted to stay together with Tweek.

„As I was saying, South Park is under attack?“

„By who? Barbra fucking Streisand?“

„Not this time.“ Not this time? Kyle looked around, trying to make sense of that little exchange, but nothing came out of it.

„Okay, who's attacking?“

„North Park.“

That's when the redhead decided to step in and start asking questions.

„You guys at war with them or something?“ Both Craig and Eric seemed to try and think really hard back on any possible things that might have pissed North Park kids off in the history of these two being gang leaders. They looked just as confused as Kyle.

„No, as far as I know we pretty much kept to ourselves. I mean, maybe we had some wars between ourselves after the mayor told us to fuck off and stop destroying the town. Maybe some of the destructive things that were created here somehow stepped foot there? Accidentally? And they think it's our fault?“ That's the best Eric could come up with.

„Oh.“

„Oh what?“

„I might or might not have sent the giant guinea pigs their way last time.“

„Peachy. Then it's your fault. They're pissed off at you. Nothing to do with us. Bye, you know where the door is.“ Eric was already on his way to gentlemanly open the door for Craig, wanting nothing more than for him to kindly fuck off. But Craig wasn't moving an inch.

„It's not just me, fatass. They left threat notes to all of us.“

„So what? We get death threats all the time, it's nothing new. Why are you getting your panties twisted about it?“

„Because, fuck face, they bombed Tweek's coffee shop last night.“ Just as Craig spat that out, both Eric and Kyle froze. Kyle more so with concern and Eric more with shock. Don't get him wrong, Eric liked Tweek. During the time Kenny was dead for longer than usual, Eric was trying to replace him with Tweek. Everything went back to normal when Kenny came back. It was a rough time for the chubby boy. Tweek didn't like all the brutal adventures either, it was too much for the poor boy's anxiety. Maybe that's why he decided to go ahead and join Craig. They both hated things getting too exciting, but they still liked competing. That's why these casual fights were just the right amount of adrenaline for them. This however, wasn't.

„Is Tweek okay?“ Kyle was the first one to speak up after that second of silence, trying to determine from Craig's face whether this was an appropriate question or not, but you couldn't really tell from his stoic expression.

„He's fine, just a bit shaken up. Received a burn on his arm and a mild concussion, but otherwise he should be fine. I stayed with him all night in the hospital. Clyde and Token are with him right now. It looks like they were actually trying to kill him to send a message to me and you, fatass. They knew we are both close to him. I just don't know what to do. I haven't slept yet.“ Craig's voice cracked by the end of his explanation, proceeding to hide his face into his palms. He looked really stressed, but still continued on with his talk.

„Dude, I don't know how many people know, but if those guys get wind of you two dating, Kyle might be in danger as well.“

„I can handle myself.“ Kyle reassured the giant boy, placing a hand onto his back. Usually he got annoyed when people underestimated him, but he couldn't really get mad at Craig for only worrying about him after what happened to his own boyfriend. „What we're gonna do is, we're gonna meet them.“ Craig finally looked up again, not believing what bullshit Kyle was spewing, but he was still interested if it meant revenge.

„We will meet them and then what?“

„I'm good at intimidating people, if you haven't noticed. If they're still set on fighting, then we will fight. If they think they can take South Park, then we _will_ take North Park.“

„Fuck, I'm all up for that.“

„Alright, both of you get all your gang members together, I'll alert my girls. I don't know how many numbers they have, but the more we have, the better we will look.“ Kyle gave out orders to the two boys, both were surprisingly satisfied with the idea. The redhead didn't waste any time on dressing himself up in his shorts and bringing out his cellphone to dial Wendyl, as he was feeling pretty masculine these past few days.

„I'll let you handle the details.“ Kyle whispered his last words, completely trusting in Eric's leadership and strategies in case of emergency. He gave his boyfriend a final small kiss before disappearing out the door. He decided that leaving Stan here for now wasn't that much of a bad idea.

 

„...He stole another piece of your clothing again.“

„You noticed that?“

„Yeah.“

„Fucking Jew.“

 

Twitching and shaking nonstop, Tweek slurped down the fifth coffee in the past 10 minutes. It was shit, hospital coffee from a shitty machine, but god, he needed it. The twitching only got worse with each passing second in silence. Both Token and Clyde stared at him in worry, they haven't seen him this upset in years. Not ever since he got together with Craig, it was like the giant had some sort of calming effect on the blonde.

„Hey, Tweek... We know you're shaken up, but maybe you're drinking too muc--“

„NO! FUCK, THE COFFEE SHOP IS RUINED! HOW COULD I HAVE LET THAT HAPPEN?! WHY HAVEN'T I NOTICED SOME DOUCHEBAG PLANTING A BOMB? MY PARENTS WILL SELL ME INTO SLAVERY!!“ Token's and Clyde's eyes widened at that sudden outburst, realizing that Tweek's worries lied somewhere completely else. Token could understand, that was a huge loss money wise. Still, Tweek's life was more important, even if the shop went down.

„Nobody's gonna sell you into slavery, Tweek.“ There it was, that nasally, calming voice. Even Tweek seemed relieved to finally see his boyfriend again, even if he looked like shit due to not having slept yet. They both looked like shit, although for Tweek it was his normal look and it was kind of charming too.

„How do you know?!“

„Because I'll kill them. Even if they're your parents.“ Strangely enough, that cruel response seemed to work on calming the twitching boy down at least slightly.

„So what's the plan? Are we defending South Park? Is Cartman going to help us?“ Token spoke up, looking as concerned as everyone else in the room. Neither of them counted on Cartman. All these years they've known him, he would never do anything to help another person, even if it meant everyone, including him, was going down. Somehow he still managed to get himself up even if that happened, maybe that's why he wouldn't bother fighting in the first place. Motherfucker knew nobody had shit on him.

„We're not. We are attacking North Park. Both Cartman's and Kyle's gangs are helping us. Kyle told me to assemble every single member we have. Token, get on that. Clyde, stop fangirling over Fatass and Kyle being a couple.“

„But they're so cute!“

„I thought we were your OTP.“ Tweek interjected, almost looking a bit offended that Clyde would fangirl over anyone else like this, even if it was annoying at times.

„You are! They're just, you know, second best. They're fresh meat.“

„Disgusting:“ Craig responded with the same monotone voice he always used, judging his friend with nothing but his cold, dead look.

 

„Fuck yeah!“ Bebe cheered, jumping up and down with excitement after Kyle announced they were getting into a bigger fight, this time with all members, even if it was just for showing off. She had just healed up recently and was already ready to get into round two. Figures.

„Last time you said big numbers were a bad idea.“

„Yes, but last time we were just taking down one gang, even if it was really large. If we are going after an entire town, we might as well show up in large numbers as well. Try and intimidate them, you know? I'm hoping to avoid a fight here, but I'm ready to give them one, should they want it.“

„What the fuck, Kyle?“ Just then, Stan walked in, rubbing the back of his head and letting out a big yawn.

„We're gonna fight an entire town.“

„Great. Now all you need is to grow some tits and you're your mom all over again.“

„...Disrespectful.“

„Anyway-- Oh hey, Wendyl.“ Stan seemed to wake up at that second, glancing into that beautiful face smiling right back at him. It seemed easier to talk whenever he was in Wendyl mode, but Stan's heart beat with the exact same strength. Seeing Wendy all girly was a little overwhelming at times and he got sick to his stomach. It took Kyle a long hard explanation that Stan was always like that and he was sometimes overly sensitive over things. Especially animals. Wendyl thought it was cute and seemed to notice it was easier on Stan whenever he was in boy mode. That might have been why he was feeling good about being a boy these past few days. It was even a little charming that Stan would get that worked up about regular old Wendy.

„Hey, Stan.“

„Anyway, if you two are done eye fucking.“ Kyle interrupted them, earning angry and embarrassed glares his way, but not giving enough of a shit to care. „Stan, I want you to teach Wendyl how to snipe as fast as possible. If something goes wrong, I want at least two people covering for us.“

„Got it.“

„Yessir.“

 

„I don't care if they want to kill me themselves, Butters. Get everyone assembled. No, I don't care if nobody respects you either, make sure we have enough people available. Also make sure to get enough gas masks just for the important people. I don't care if more of my men die, that's nothing in comparison to losing against them. It's just plan B, we are gonna be fine.“ Finally, deciding he heard enough of Butters's 'buts' and 'what ifs', he ended the call, staring straight back at Kenny who was sitting in front of him, legs spread like he just don't care.

„I haven't seen you strategize like this in years. You're getting your groove back.“

„Sure am. Gotta impress the ladies.“

„And by ladies you mean your Jewish boyfriend?“

„Definitely.“

„Well, cheers to that. You gotta check if he has a big dick too.“

„What do you mean by 'too'?“

„You know how I slept in bed with Stan?“

„Yeah?“

„Well, pretty impressive morning wood.“

„Oh god damn it, Kenny--“

„What? It was!“

 


	15. 5 whole years

Tweek Tweak hated hospitals with a passion. It was no secret that the little spaz had terrible anxiety over a lot of things, most of which involved some things that others couldn't hear or see. Quite frankly, Craig thought Tweekers was one of the most sane people in this god damn world. Who else actually stopped and thought 'that's fucked up' besides him? It was like the twitchy blonde was painfully aware that everything going on around him wasn't supposed to be happening and wasn't normal, but such thoughts only drove him further into madness, because really, if the world was insane, then why would insane people believe him? He got called a lot of things throughout the years and all of them were jabs aimed at his paranoia or even anxiety. Sometimes it was about his unnatural addiction to coffee.

„Everything's fucked, Craig.“

„I know.“ There he was, people often stared at him and called him a freak too. However, it was more about his freakish height rather than mental well-being. Craig Tucker, towering a great 6'4 over most people in South Park, was considered an actual giant. It wasn't much of his built as much as it was just his height though. And with his boyfriend of only a measly 5'1, they were considered the freak couple. They were pretty famous around other students since nobody could really deny how much they stood out, especially because of the circumstances that actually brought them together.

 

Craig was far into the closet at the time, but that's no surprise. They were only ten years old. Come to think of it, why would girls be drawing porn of them if they were only ten? That was another fucked up thing, but it was too late to reflect on it now without getting a migraine. Just to make it stop, they had to go ahead and pretend to be together in order to stage a fake break up. Simple, no? Not with Tweek's anxiety. Tweek realized it was a bad idea, but at the time far too many things were going on inside his head. He got a panic attack the second everything happened, but it also made him think. Was he actually gay? Would it be okay if he was? The world was labeling him as something he didn't even know he was. It was way too much pressure. But when he looked into Craig's eyes and heard those encouraging words, he knew he was stuck. Craig pulled him up, he was the first person to ever make him believe in himself.

„ _You're capable of more than you think.“_ He would never forget those words for as long as he lived. Craig gave him confidence and reassurance. Something no one bothered to do before, not even his own parents. It might have been somewhat rushed, but after that Tweek realized his admiration for that boring asshole. Which is why he didn't like seeing him suffer.

 

„ _I want to fix whatever's hurting you now.“_ On the other hand, Craig couldn't forget those words. He didn't know how or why it happened. He didn't know why he was destined to end up with the shortest and twitchiest boy in all of town, but damn, he couldn't be happier today. Craig sort of knew his father's stance on gay people, when you live with someone, they just give off a certain vibe on certain sensitive topics. Being gay was one of the things Thomas Tucker wasn't exactly... tolerant of. Once the incident happened, it showed. It got Craig thinking, it got him panicking. It made him feel all these confused feelings of abandonment and fear of rejection, even if he himself believed we was straight. He was raised to believe he liked girls. Everyone was. He thought long and hard about Tweek's offer, that maybe just... Maybe there was someone who could stop this hurting, maybe it was a guy. Maybe he really was gay. It was only when his dad came to him and told him that he loves him despite his sexuality, that Craig managed to accept himself. Maybe it was okay that he was gay. If Tweek was giving an offer, then Craig would be stupid not to take it.

 

That was the day Tweek and Craig got together.

 

Last night was the day Craig almost lost Tweek.

 

Their relationship was going strong five whole years and Craig would be fucking stupid to just let these assholes go and try and hide himself for the rest of his life. Kyle was right. They needed to attack. In these situations you can't show fear or submission, you have to strike back with far more force. If they weren't going to play nice, neither were they. Craig would make sure that not only would North Park know not to fuck with them, but so would all of Colorado. Everyone was going to fear them by the end of this. Everyone would know not to put a hand on Tweek again. 

 

„You look pissed.“ The blonde spoke, unusually calm and collected, but that was because Craig was present. He always gave him a sense of security even if things were going to shit, just like right now. Normally people wouldn't be this calm after surviving a bomb attack. The gentle giant was magical like that.

„I am.“

„Why?“

„Someone tried to kill my boyfriend.“

„Sucks, dude. If someone tried to kill my boyfriend, I would pull out my bazooka and kill everyone around me.“ Craig chuckled at that, knowing just how well Tweek could project himself into different people. Which came in pretty handing in acting.

„Then you understand why I have to do this, right?“

„I do. Still, I don't want you risking your life.“

„Tweek--“

„Just make sure to call me when you can. I want to know that you're okay. If these god damn doctors weren't insisting on keeping me here, I would have gone with you.“

„I know.“

„Still. Waging a war in my name? That's gay.“

„You're gay.“

„So are you.“ The blonde boy moved to one side of the bed, lifting up the blanket and inviting his boyfriend to snuggle. Craig was tired, extremely. If he wasn't focused enough, he could get killed. All Tweek could offer right now was enough security to make sure Craig got a good night's sleep. For the first time Craig was the one shaken up, so finally he understood how Tweek felt when things were becoming one huge mess. Finally he understood just how much the presence of the person you love could calm you down. He wasted no time climbing into the hospital bed, having to curl up in a sort of ball because otherwise his feet would just stick out of the bed. Carefully, he placed his head on top of Tweek's chest, finding the sound of his heartbeat the most serene melody of all.

„Goodnight, Craig. I love you.“

„I love you too. So much.“

 

It wasn't the morning sunshine, nor the sound of nurses running around hysterically since the morning that woke Craig up, it was his phone ringing. Tweek debated on whether to decline the call, but Craig beat him to it and picked up the phone, sleepily slapping it to his ear only to hear a certain redhead on the other end.

„Who the fuck gave you my number, Broflovski?“

„Eric did.“

„Well, tell Cartman to go fuck himself before I go and do it myself.“

„Will do. But you might want to save your energy. Everything's set up, we are leaving in an hour. I want you and your gang to be there on time.“

„Wow, have you always been such a bossy bitch or is it just because I only woke up?“

„Always been, always will.“

„Maybe that's why fatass is so into you.“ You could practically hear the eye roll from Kyle's end.

„Anyway, see you later. Oh and tell Tweek I said hi.“

„Will do.“ After the call ended, Tweek and Craig exchanged glances and the blonde's expression revealed that he knew. Craig had to leave right now. It sucked that they didn't get much time together awake, but it strangely filled Tweek with peace to just watch him sleep. 

„Are you gonna be okay on your own?“

„Yeah, Clyde snuck in some of my weapons earlier.“

„Smart.“

„Yeah. Are you gonna be okay?“

„With those madmen? It's gonna be a miracle if I come back in one piece.“

„I'm sure everything will turn out okay. Kyle seems like he knows what he's doing. And Cartman has a large army. If anything were to happen, that fat fuck always has a back up plan.“

„True that.“

„Be careful anyway. I love you.“

„I love you too.“ It pained both of them to say their goodbyes to each other, knowing that maybe, if something were to fuck up, Craig wouldn't return. But Tweek decided to believe in his boyfriend, he decided to believe that whatever fucked up thing was going on this time, Craig was stronger than that. So much stronger than any of this. With a small kiss they parted, both unsure of what the world had in store for them.

 


	16. Grim Reaper over your shoulder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VX is a type of chemical weapon called a nerve agent. It is a very toxic chemical. Because it is so toxic, it cannot be used as anything other than a chemical weapon. The United Nations classifies VX as a weapon of mass destruction.

He wasn't nervous. Not at all. Why would he be nervous seeing the girl of his dreams lying stomach down on top of a rooftop, gripping his own rifle and looking like she's capable of killing anyone that comes in her way? Maybe it was just the way she gave him these little glances and her eyes gleaming up whenever she shot right on target. Stan was a great teacher when it came to these things and Wendy definitely learned fast. He wasn't sure whether Kyle really meant it when he said they needed more people than him for cover or if he just wanted to give him a chance to get closer to her, but he was thankful anyway. They didn't get much talking in besides the technical stuff, but Wendy looked interested anyway, even eager to eat up all this new knowledge and skill. Anyone who has known her for a longer time would confirm that yes, she thirsts after knowledge, strength and justice. The more Stan found out about her, the more he fell in love.

„Yes! Bullseye.“ The girl cheered, looking really proud of herself.

„You're a natural.“

„Thanks, Stan. You know, when this is over, do you want to--“ Just before she could finish, Stan's phone rang. He really wanted to die then, being interrupted at such a bad time, but it was Kyle.

„Yes?“ Stan's voice sounded as annoyed as he felt, making his feelings quite obvious to his super best friend.

„Wow, you sound pissed. Did I interrupt something?“

„No, why in heaven's name would you think that?“

„Well, okay then. We're leaving in an hour, I want you to get ready.“

„'Kay, boss.“

„I'm sure she can get you off by then, playing with your rifle and all.“

„Kyle--“ Of course, he would end the call just then. Stan was both speechless and red in the face, he looked like he could cry and kill someone at the same time, especially because the girl Kyle was talking about was sitting right in front of him, looking straight at him.

„Stan? What did he say?“

„Nothing!“

„It couldn't have been nothing!“

„Don't worry about it!“

 

The redhead just stared ahead, confused as to why there was a ridiculous amount of gas masks being handed out by Kenny and Butters. He was confused, but the look on Eric's face told him that he worked really hard on the details.

„So, what's with the gas masks?“ As soon as Eric noticed him, he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a big bear hug and rubbing himself all over his boyfriend. Looks like this time Eric didn't get much sleep, but that was because he was working on getting the details of his plan into order.

„Plan B.“

„What's plan B?“

„VX.“ Kyle's eyes widened at that, turning around to look at Eric in disbelief, shock and even with a hint of fear. He knew they were getting into a dangerous situation, but this was beyond common sense. Who in their right mind would think of bringing something like that into a gang war? Maybe Eric wasn't in his right mind. There's still so much Kyle didn't know about him and hell, he wanted to, but this was damn near psychotic. The results would be disastrous. And as much as it scared him when he looked into Eric's eyes, he looked far too prepared and organized for Kyle to deny his admiration for him in this very moment. Eric Cartman was a monster and Kyle couldn't deny the attraction he felt towards that side of him.

„How... how the fuck did you even manage to get your hands on that? That's a chemical weapon for fuck's sake! A weapon of mass destruction!“

„Calm down, I know that. We're only using that in case of a serious emergency. I don't wanna use it myself since I'm putting you at risk too.“ Kyle relaxed at that, the care in Eric's voice really getting him. What could he say? He was a sucker for people showing him they cared. Still, this got even him worried.

„Do you have atropine and pralidoxime ready if anything were to fuck up?“

„And bleach and water. Sedatives too.“

„Good. You do realize this is insane, right?“

„I know. I wanted to use Zyklon B, but I didn't have enough time to set up gas chambers.“ Judging by the amused grin on Eric's face, he knew exactly what he just said.

„That was... so fucking insensitive. You know I'm Jewish.“

„I sure do.“ With that charming laugh, Eric pulled his boyfriend closer and gave him a big kiss, reveling in it as if he had been starving for Kyle's lips all this time. He tasted so sweet, it was all the strawberry chapstick he used. On the other hand, Eric tasted like cigarettes and stress.

 

„Sorry I'm interrupting you fags, but it's about time we left.“ That monotone voice made itself known, Craig standing determined and confident in front of them, despite the army behind him being much smaller than even Kyle's. Still, it didn't matter. Not when they were in this together.

„Yeah, let's go.“ The fat boy threw a gas mask at Craig, catching him off guard. Craig looked it over, feeling his gut twist at the sight of it. He didn't have a good feeling at all. If you could feel death coming, this would be it.

„...What the fuck are you planning this time?“

„Don't concern yourself with it.“

„Kyle?“ The short boy stared up at Craig when he heard his name, looking rather concerned himself. This was an expression Craig hasn't seen before and it made him scared. What's worse, not even Stan saw him look that nervous in all his life. Sure, he was worried about his brother a lot in the past, but this was different. This could turn into a suicide mission really fast.

„Don't worry about it.“ Hard to do, when the person saying that was worrying as well.

 

Time seemed to stand still then, the ride was quiet, but it was so much quieter when they entered North Park. Word got out about a possible large gang war so most people holed themselves up or left for the weekend. That was good. However, when Kyle saw the streets littered with teens and even kids as young as his little brother, he knew that however it might turn out, it would have devastating results. Would it be easier to die from a nerve agent or from being beaten and stabbed to death? Which death would take longer? Kyle was glad he announced their arrival, at least this way, whoever dies will die willingly. All these people knew what it meant to take part in these fights. Taking a deep breath in, Kyle put on his best face and stepped forward, Eric and Craig at each side of him. North Park's gang leaders stepped forward too, but sadly enough, there was eight of them. The scare tactic might not work as well as he planned after all.

„Hey there, boys,“ Kyle started in that sweet, seductive voice „we're not here to pick a fight with you.“

„Why would you bring an army then? You're looking for a fight, aren't you?“ One of the other leaders spoke up, catching Kyle's attention. He looked like one of those guys who would stop at nothing to get what they wanted.

„You think we're stupid enough to come alone? What I want to know is whose fucking idea it was to bomb our coffee shop. Not sure about you, but I get very pissy without my coffee. I just want to know who and why. We can resolve this peacefully. You tell us what the fuck you want, we tell you what the fuck we want and bam, peace. No need to smash each other up.“

„Didn't think you were such a pussy, Kyley-B.“ At which both Craig and Eric tensed up. Craig looked rather confused at that sudden nickname. He didn't think they knew him at all. He was new. Though all Eric knew was the nickname, he didn't know the history behind it nor what Kyle actually did back at home to get so many people to fear him. Or what his family did for that matter. It was as if everyone tried to stop that information from getting out, but these guys knew something he didn't. It got him both anxious, but also intrigued.

„Look, arguing won't help. This isn't gonna get us anywhere.“

„Kinda like S-Woww Tittybang didn't get anywhere with her gang. Most respected girl gang in America? What a fucking joke. That's why she quit, isn't it? She was a fucking joke to everyone. She wouldn't have gotten anywhere to begin with if it wasn't for her rich lawyer husband. She would have been rotting in prison all this time. Just like she should.“ Before Eric could even look at Kyle's expression and try to read what the fuck was going on, Kyle already gripped his bat and smashed the guy's head in so fast and so hard that blood and brain matter splattered everywhere.

No one had the time to react, no one knew why Kyle lost his self control. One of the gang leaders was gone just like that. Dead. It happened so fast that he himself might have not realized he was dying. Once everything set in, naturally, everyone pulled out their weapons. Aiming them mostly at Kyle while the people on Kyle's side were ready to defend him with their very own lives despite the mass confusion.

„I thought you didn't come looking for a fight!“ One of the North Park members yelled, the tension only getting worse with each passing second.

„Shit, so did I. What the fuck was that about, Kyle?“ The redhead didn't answer his boyfriend though, not even bothering to hold up his baseball bat as he stared ahead and frowned, brainstorming any possible way out of this mess. When nothing came to him, he knew. This was all so surreal, so grim. He held in his breath, feeling dread in his chest.

„Kyle?“

 

 

Shit.

He fucked up.

 


	17. A thousand lives over one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All nerve agents have the same symptoms, because they work the same way. They make the parasympathetic nervous system work too hard. They also keep signals from the brain from getting through to the body, so the brain cannot tell the muscles to relax. This causes a group of unique symptoms:
> 
> The person's nose will run, tears will come out of their eyes, and they will drool because their body is making so much extra saliva (spit)  
> As the brain loses control over the body's muscles, the person will not be able to stop themselves from urinating and defecating  
> The person will have nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain  
> The person's heart rate will be slow  
> The bronchi will get narrower, causing trouble breathing  
> The body will make a lot of extra mucus, which can build up in the lungs and make breathing even harder
> 
> People with VX poisoning can have seizures and go into status epilepticus. They can die because their breathing muscles get so tight that they do not work.

„Kyle?!“ Eric seemed to panic more and more with each passing second, unable to do anything other than aim a gun at the people in front of them. If they all started shooting now, it could all go to shit, both South and North Park's leaders would die in the gunfire. Had they been in any other position, maybe just a little further away from each other, they could risk it, but this was the definition of a shitty situation. Anything could really cause anyone to shoot, even the slightest movement. Once one person shoots, everyone will follow. Both sides knew that, which is why everyone was so hesitant to do anything. It wouldn't benefit anyone to get aggressive now. They were all stuck in these positions.

„We're giving up.“ Kyle finally spoke with a shook voice, gulping down and praying to Moses they could get out of this alive.

„What?!“ It was Craig's turn to complain about Kyle's decision now. They didn't come here for nothing, for fuck's sake! They came here for Tweek, for protecting their town. He didn't know what the fuck Kyle was planning right now, but it couldn't be anything good. Dread was all he felt. Something was really wrong. Something was about to get really bad.

„We're giving up...“ Kyle repeated himself, this time with more confidence, dropping his baseball bat to the ground. The loud thud was the only sound heard in such tense air, everyone keeping their glare on Kyle as he continued.

„Heh, I might have snapped there a little, I apologize. I'm sure we can come to a conclusion if we speak alone. Just us leaders. No weapons. What do you say?“ Kyle brought his hands up then, ready to give Stan and Wendy any signals should things not work out the way he was planning.

 

„What do we do, Stan? This looks bad...“ Wendy whispered out, sounding terrified and on edge, her finger was trembling on the trigger. She was ready, but would she be fast and accurate enough under all the stress? Not even she knew. Kyle was aware of this too, she shouldn't be put under such big stress on her first war of all things, but there was nothing they could do now. All they had was hope that this would end without too many losses. Unlikely, but still.

„Just wait for orders.“

 

„You killed one of us and you expect us to keep talking?!“

„Sure we can talk. Alone. Grab him.“ The others seemed to relax then, putting down their weapons to go grab Kyle. Everyone seemed to relax since most people stopped aiming at each other to come to some kind of conclusion. Eric didn't like this conclusion though, both him and Kenny exchanged looks, debating on whether they had to turn to plan B even if they were trying to avoid it.

„GET DOWN!“ Kyle shouted at the top of his lungs, making a hand signal and suddenly squatting down before the two guys that held him were shot straight in their heads, falling to the ground just like their leader only a few minutes ago. The redhead reached for his bat, going head first towards the group of people, smashing skulls and breaking bones. Chaos would be the best word to describe this sudden outburst. Sure enough the gunfire started, but at least most of the people on his side got the time to getting killed first due to the other teams being caught off guard. Fucking stupid is what they were, but despite the stupidity, Kyle was terrified, he couldn't help his heart racing even though he was getting covered and all the people aiming to shoot at him were being taken out by Stan and Wendy pretty nicely. Why was he so scared then?

„Kyle, look out!“ Apparently, the redhead wasn't the only one who decided to run head first into danger, his back wasn't covered at all. Two snipers wasn't enough, they were too focused on taking out all the shooters in front of him. The obvious ones. He didn't have enough time to react, all he managed to do was turn his head around only to watch Kenny jump in front of the guy, grab the gun and get shot into his side just like that.

„You bastard!“ Kyle held his breath and tried to run towards the shot boy, but was stopped by Eric's unusually strong grip on his wrist. It was a matter of seconds entirely, Craig running towards Kenny and trying to press down on the bleeding wound with his bare hand before it was slapped away. One second.

„Kenny... where did you keep the nerve agent?“ Two seconds.

„Fuck me, PUT ON THE FUCKING MASKS!“ The blonde boy screamed and Eric didn't hesitate to immediately push one onto his and Kyle's face, watching Kenny kick Craig away from himself, throwing off his parka from his sweating body as he gasped for air and reached for the filled spray cans, running and diving into as many people as he could. They were already fucked, might as well go all out before he would drop down. He would use this short time he had before he died. He would bring down this entire fucking shit hole. They'd be so contaminated that no one would ever step foot in here again. They were all going down with him.

„We need to leave now!“

„Grab Craig!“ Of course Kyle wouldn't want to leave him here to die. It might have been on a spur, but Eric still grabbed Craig, careful not to get into contact with his other hand as he dragged him away towards what appeared to be an empty building, Kyle making sure no one got in their way as they ran. No one would keep him from making sure Craig would return alive to Tweek.

 

„What the fuck is happening to me?!“ Craig complained with a surprising amount of emotion in his voice. The poor boy was sweating, tears were running down his face, saliva was dripping from his mouth and his nose was runny as he was gasping for air, it being seemingly harder the more it went on.

„You were poisoned.“ Eric tried to explain, throwing his trusty gun to Kyle for him to keep watch as he took out his kit with all the antidotes he needed. They didn't have any fucking time and Craig was already screaming from the weird and painful twitching of muscles in his hand.

„From what?!“

„Shut the fuck up!“ The fat boy panicked, taking off Craig's blue chullo hat and instead stuffing it into his mouth just so he had the fucking silence to work, first taking out the bleach and making sure to put a big amount onto the area that got into contact with the nerve agent before washing it off with water. He seemed to be just as nervous, this was fucked. This was completely fucked up! This went wrong on the highest amount of levels it could!

 

„Stan are you okay?!“ Kyle spoke into his phone, making sure he was quiet enough as he looked out the window towards the outside. Everyone seemed to be choking, some people already fell to their knees. Kenny was really going all out even if he was shot. That poor bastard was sure to die. It was so... upsetting. His boyfriend's best friend was actually going to die just because he was protecting him. Fuck this.

„We are fine, we put our gas masks on as soon as we saw the panic. What went on down there?“

„They killed Kenny.“

„I saw that, but--“

„Listen here, Stan. Kenny had a deadly poison on his body and is currently spreading it all over North Park. Everyone without a gas mask is going to die in a matter of minutes. I want you to make sure everyone gets the fuck away from here. Including you and Wendy.“

„What about you?“

„Craig got into contact with it, we're making sure he survives this. Please, just fucking go. We're gonna be out of here once we're done. If anyone shows symptoms of being infected, Butters will know what to do, but make sure he acts fast. Be careful. I love you.“

„I love you too.“ It was kind of heartbreaking being told to go while Kyle was still trapped somewhere on the grounds of a fucking battlefield, but he always trusted him and had no reason not to do so now.

 

„There.“ Eric gave a long sigh, pulling out the needle out of Craig's skin after he successfully injected the tall asshole with pralidoxime just in time. Now Eric felt like he was infected due to the amount he fucking sweat doing this. It wasn't like him to panic, but this was a chemical weapon he was trying to save Craig from. Someone he would have left to die if it wasn't for Kyle. Craig seemed to calm down to, feeling the significant difference now that the antidote was reversing his actual fucking dying. Finally, he pulled out his hat out of his own mouth, making a face at how much he slobbered all over it.

„Again... What the fuck kinda poison was that.“

„An illegal chemical weapon of mass destruction. VX.“

„You're a fucking psychopath!“

„You're welcome.“

„Kyle, did you know about this?!“ Finally, the redhead looked over, dragging his hand through his hair and sliding down along the wall. He felt the relief, but he couldn't help shaking. This was too much. Now that everyone was dying outside and they saved Craig, he couldn't help the crippling anxiety and shock overtaking him. The adrenaline rush was over. He has never felt like this before.

„I knew.“

„And you let him do it?!“

„It wasn't supposed to happen. I'm sorry.“ Craig didn't speak after that, only fell down onto his back to catch his breath. God, was this fucking real? Cartman ended up taking him to Peru when they were kids, but a toxic chemical of mass destruction that almost got him killed? He really overdid himself this time. Insane. Insane is what this was. Finally, emotions becoming too much, Craig started laughing as fresh tears streamed down his cheeks.

„Thank you...“ He muttered as honestly as he could, voice giving away that the usual toughness he had was gone. He was vulnerable right now. Anyone would be. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he died on Tweek, so he cried. So he cried and he cried, until it was time for them to get up and walk over the many corpses that flooded the streets like a massacre the world hasn't seen in years. All of them had a heavy heart.

 


	18. Home is where you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gay because the tips touched

Orange, red, blue all covered the sky, chilly wind blowing their way as they walked forward with furrowed brows, their heavy steps signifying just how much this affected them. Craig's sobs calmed down a while ago, but he was still leaning onto Eric's shoulder for support, head hanging down as if their victory today was nothing more than defeat. Kyle swore he could still see fresh tears streaming down behind his gas mask, only God knew what kind of thoughts were racing through his head. They didn't know if they were shaking from the cold, or simply the horrifying aftermath of their weapon.

 

The people, they looked like they died in the most painful ways and the first one coming to thought was of course Kenny. Eric didn't look for him, they never saw him as they stepped out of the town, leaving behind nothing but their own mistake. As for losses on their own side, Kyle didn't know. He didn't want to know. It wasn't that it was the first massacre Kyle saw happen, but it was the most brutal one. Usually he killed quick, this dragged on for too long to be considered a painless death, but it also happened too fast for those people to hope for any help. Kenny did the right thing though, they knew. If he didn't, all of this would be for nothing, they would have to retreat and wait for another attack from North Park. Maybe they would bomb their own houses next, who knew? Now there was no one. No threat left. It was also kind of a relief. Honestly, no one really knew what they felt at this point, it was too confusing. They were too young to mourn over tragedies.

 

„I'll be taking a turn here.“ Craig's weak voice came out as nothing but a whisper while he took off his mask, revealing just how much a mess he looked. Face pale, eyes tired. As much as he was grateful to be alive, the trauma of feeling oneself dying was too much. Kenny would know.

„Where are you going?“

„To Tweek.“ No need for any further words, Craig took off, putting his hat back on and letting out a shaky sigh.

 

Kyle reached for Eric's hand and clung to him in that moment, finally showing his own vulnerability, showing just how scared he was in there. Scared to get poisoned, scared to be unable to save Craig, scared to not make it out of there alive, but mostly scared about being the only one to make it out of there. Eric could have died at any time too, what would he do, losing the first person he fell in love with so soon?

 

In this moment, they became aware of their own mortality.

 

It could end at any time. All of this could. Living in a world like this meant facing death every day. No matter how strong you were, no matter how confident you were in your abilities, anything could bring you down and end all of what you built just like that. Love, family, friends. All gone in a matter of seconds because of a simple mistake. That's why, when they arrived at Kyle's door, he didn't let go of Eric's hand and instead pulled him inside, both becoming enveloped with this inviting warmth and the smell of delicious food and yet still the only thing they could focus on was each other. It didn't take a genius to figure out where Eric was being dragged to. They were in Kyle's room in the blink of an eye, door shut and locked behind the redhead. He didn't know what he was doing either.

„I could have lost you...“ Kyle softly whispered out, glancing up with those emerald eyes, looking as if he had learned for the first time in his life what sorrow meant.

„I could have lost you too.“ And for the first time in Eric's life, he learned what it meant to be scared of losing someone he loved. The boys moved in closer, as careful as if they were scared them being alive was only an illusion and it could shatter at the slightest touch. However, when Eric's hand landed on Kyle's bare hips, warmth flooded his whole being, and as Kyle's fingertips stroked across Eric's cheeks, he recognized those sparks of electricity as nothing but pure and raw love. This was real. They were so happy, smashing their lips together and clinging to each others bodies in desperation and need. They needed this so badly. They needed each other more than anything else on Earth and in space and in each and every universe. Kyle's back hit the bed then, both looking at each other with clouded eyes, smiling. If anything were to feel like home, it was the way they recognized each others souls.

 

„Make love to me.“ And on command, Eric leaned in, covering his lover in tons of kisses, wasting no time on getting those clothes off him, undressing him like he was a doll. Kyle had to admit he liked it, no, he loved letting Eric take charge of his body. He never belonged to someone and now he knew how good it felt to be wanted, desired. The way Eric pulled him down and spread his legs, gazing down at his exposed self with such hunger, it was far too much for Kyle's poor inexperienced heart, he couldn't help letting out a moan, feeling like he was already being eaten up by his lover's gaze alone.

 

Sure enough, the moan was all it took to get Eric out of his daze, proceeding to take off his own shirt. It was getting too hot in there. Kyle loved that, absolutely loved looking at his boyfriend's chubby figure, he was as big as a bear and there was nothing hotter to Kyle than a man looking as big and strong as him, even if the strong part wasn't quite true. His jeans were unzipped next, Kyle getting a nice, long look at that hard cock in front of him. They were both just as turned on. Eric spat on his hand right after, unable to contain himself any longer before he squeezed both their cocks together, stroking them and rubbing against Kyle's. Kyle, seemingly being the more vocal one both in life and in bed, couldn't contain his sweet gasp, choking back tears at how good it felt to be touched by someone else. He didn't get to make too much noise as Eric leaned down into him and trapped him in a kiss. It felt like magic having another body pressing into his own, touching him in just the right ways, melting into one another. So this was what love felt like, the desperate kind everyone wished for.

 

„Craig!“ The giant's boys eyes immediately lit up, feeling like he could start crying all over again as he saw none other than the love of his life run towards him and hug him with strength he's never felt before. Craig wrapped his arms around him too, falling to his knees and dragging Tweek down into his lap. It was Tweek's turn to cry this time. It was okay though. They were happy tears.

„I thought I lost you! Token and Clyde said they lost sight of you and were told to escape! What happened there?! Why did you take so long?! I was so terrified...“ Smile slipping into his face, Craig finally felt himself returning to normal, giving a look to Token and Clyde who appeared to be just as emotional as Tweek, but were holding back for their sakes.

„Funny story, actually. Worse one than Peru. Know how I told you it'd be a miracle if I made it out of there alive with these asshole?“

„Y-Yeah?“

„Well, I was right. You have to thank Kyle for my life, actually. If it was up to fatass, he would have left me to die.“

„What happened in there, Craig? All of a sudden we had to put on gas masks and escape, people were choking, it was crazy.“ Token finally made himself known, demanding an explanation to all of this madness.

„I was with Kenny when he got shot. Turned out the bullet hit a can where he was hiding a deadly, chemical weapon. VX, or something. Extremely dangerous and illegal. Don't ask me how Cartman got his hands on it, I don't know. It wasn't supposed to be used, it was supposed to be some kind of emergency plan, but... it got out so suddenly, no one expected it and everyone panicked. I didn't know Kenny had that poison on himself, I tried pressing down on his bullet wound and the next thing I knew was the muscles in my hand going crazy. As I said, if it wasn't for Kyle, Cartman wouldn't have grabbed me and given me the antidotes just in time. As for why you had to get the fuck out of there, Kenny decided to bring down the whole town with him, with the remaining minutes of life he had. It looked like a massacre by the time we left.“ They all listened quietly, up until Tweek freaked out in anger.

„FUCKING CARTMAN!“

 

Content and happy, they lied all cuddled up and naked next to each other, Kyle's head on Eric's chest, listening to his heartbeat as he played with those gorgeous red curls. They had that glow, all they needed to really get their emotions out without breaking down was just this. Cumming. Kenny was right, he needed to get laid. Although that poor bastard would still complain that they didn't go all the way. That shit took time. Kyle wasn't some slutty girl he could just slam his dick into like Kenny did with so many of his girls.

„Mm... I love you.“

„I love you too, little firefly.“ Eric replied, finding it so much easier to say than he did a few weeks ago while stressing about it being 'too soon'. Bullshit, them being like this felt like eternity. There was nothing too soon about it. Kyle perked up at that though, grinning from ear to ear.

„Little firefly?“

„Kyle, mom says it's time for dinner!“ Came a shout from the other side by a younger boy as Kyle finally realized that they did this in his own house and they weren't alone, but maybe, if he was lucky they didn't even notice--

„And she's saying not to try and hide your boyfriend, we all saw you two come in all dramatically and horny!“ Kyle died at that and Eric's eyes widened as well, but unlike Kyle he was trying really hard not to burst out laughing. Oh god, you cum together one time and already it's time to introduce your boyfriend to your family.

 


	19. Blame Canada

„You know, you could still escape through the window.“ Kyle suggested as he was dressing himself up in some more comfortable clothing than he usually wore outside. Right away he also sat down and took out some makeup remover from his drawer, cleaning off the makeup from his face. It would have been ruined after a hard adventure like that, but his mother made sure he had only the most perfect, waterproof products available. It did wonders, but his face still felt gross after a full day. Eric looked him over, completely ignoring what was just said to just stare at Kyle's naked face. He did see him without makeup before, but he has been wearing it every day for months. Eric knew applying makeup could be bothersome at times, so he admired Kyle for doing it every single day.

„When you fuck a bitch and then you see her in the morning.“

„Wow, thanks. It's not like you've seen me without it before, right?“

„When you fuck a bitch and then you see her in the morning and realize how cute she is and you wanna stay and meet her family.“

„...God, that was so cheesy.“

„You're never gonna be satisfied no matter what I say.“

„True that.“ Kyle hummed, leaning into Eric when they hugged. It was so nice, it was like all of what happened before was just a dream and they were here the entire time, just enjoying their youth together.

„Besides, how bad can your family be? Other than being Jewish.“

„First of all – asshole. Second of all – trust me, they will do their best to just embarrass me to the point of me wanting to commit suicide.“

„I would love to see you embarrassed too.“

„I know you would.“

„Anything I should look out for?“

„How about no Jew jokes? My parents are pretty lenient with me, but I don't think they would appreciate me having an anti-Semitist boyfriend.“

„Damn, I'll try. No promises though, unless you suck my balls.“

„Shithead. Come on down now.“

 

It felt like a death sentence to Kyle once they got downstairs and his entire family just stared at them, looking Eric over like he was some kind of animal they've never seen before. Well, he kind of was a big deal to them since Kyle never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before. This was a first and on top of that, they seemed to have noticed that their son was already getting down and dirty with him, before they even got the chance to meet him. Not wanting to feel their obvious stares, Kyle gave Eric a nudge to sit down while he himself screwed off to take his insulin, thanking his incurable diabetes for being spared of the awkwardness this one time.

„Eric Cartman, right?“ Sheila was the first one to break the silence, giving the chubby boy a genuine smile and making him feel way more at ease.

„Uh, yeah. It's nice to meet you.“ Sadly, Sheila was the only one to make him feel at ease, as the father returned to his work, disinterested and the little brother glared daggers at him with those black, beady eyes. They looked soulless. Like a demon's. Was he Canadian?

„Kyle said you were going to North Park to take care of some business, how did that go?“

„Pretty good--“

„Pretty bad.“ Kyle interjected, feeling no need to lie to his mom about these things. They fucked up, it happens. His mom fucked up a few times in her life too.

„Why? What happened, bubbeh?“

„My boyfriend here decided it would be a good idea to bring a chemical weapon with us and coincidentally, it got spilled by accident.“

„What, what, what?!“ Kyle leaned forward then, wrapping his arms around his mom to give her a hug, cuddling the side of his face to her. Eric didn't expect Kyle to be such a momma's boy, but then again, you learn something new everyday. The woman seemed to calm down as she stroked through her son's hair, realizing that everything was fine as he didn't have a scratch on him. Ike though didn't look as relieved, on the contrary, he looked more tense than before.

„I'm pretty sure all the gang members in North Park are dead so they shouldn't bother us anymore.“

„That's pretty impressive, but how did you get your hands on a chemical weapon, young man?“

„I made it myself.“ Kyle and his mom exchanged looks at that since Kyle didn't know about that either. Both his mom and little brother looked pretty impressed at that response, which made Kyle proud. Sure was a good thing to say.

„Well, next time try to be more careful. Bubbeh, I know it's ironic that I'm saying this of all people, but don't play with things that could kill you in an accident. I don't want anything to happen to you, you know? Eric, make sure to protect him, he can get very reckless at times. Isn't that right?“

„Oh, god, mom.“

„I will ma'am.“

 

After the dinner and a big questioning about Eric's personal life, the boys got to retreat back into his room, giving an exhausted sigh. Of course his dad would start asking about where Eric wanted to get in life and about his gang and successful he was, all the while his mom asked about Eric's love life and feelings, causing Kyle to be screaming on the inside for thirty minutes straight. They were both so transparent. The unusual thing however was Ike, he didn't say a word, he only stared at Eric, not really showing what he was thinking.

„I can't believe I ate kosher food.“

„I can't believe my mom asked you if you really love me.“

„Hey, I ain't got nothing to hide. And I was right, you're cute when you're embarrassed.“

„Shut up.“

„I don't think your brother likes me though. He looked like he was planning out a way to kill me.“

„Don't be ridiculous, Ike is much too young for that. He still watches kids shows with me.“

„He might be watching them for your sake and not for himself. He looks like he's...“

„What?“

„Canadian.“

„Oh, he is. My parents adopted him when I was five.“

„Dude, Canadians are the most vile gangsters around. You really don't think he wouldn't try to kill me if he doesn't like me?“

„No. Are you scared of a ten year old?“

„Of course not! I'm just saying...“ As if on cue, Kyle's phone rang, distracting him from their conversation. It was a ridiculous accusation anyway. Ike did some irresponsible things before, but he's still a child. „Sorry, it's Stan. I have to take it.“

„Okay.“ Eric nodded, watching Kyle step out of the room to take his call. He was sure Stan was worried sick, so he needed peace and quiet to explain everything that happened to him, maybe even let some things off his chest. About how scary it all was and maybe even about Eric. It was gonna be a long call.

 

Eric finally relaxed for two seconds, bringing his hand up to his forehead. It was such a stressful day, way too much happened and he was glad it came to an end. At least up until he noticed a certain ten year old boy standing right beside him, looking right through him with that cold, Canadian stare. The chubby teen couldn't help flinching at that sight. It was like a jumpscare, only worse.

„Well, well, well.“ Ike started, pacing around the room, hands behind his back and a gun in their grip. „Eric Theodore Cartman...“

„How do you know my middle name--“

„I ask the questions here.“ Wow. Either Kyle was blind or this little shit was a good actor. It could be any of those choices, really.

„You almost got my brother killed today. You wanted to kill him when we arrived. You are known for being a bigot. You sometimes dress up in drag and sing Lady Gaga songs. What is your defense?“

„They are good songs?“

„No.“

„The fuck you mean 'no'? Lady Gaga is fucking amazing.“

„Do you really like my brother like you said you do?“

„I do.“ Eric answered with no hesitation in his mind, his response coming as naturally as ordering maxi pizza. The fuck would he do with medium sized pizza anyway? Starve with, that's what.

„Let's play Russian roulette then. Wanna let me go first or are you too chicken?“ Ike taunted the fat boy, causing him to grab the gun out of Ike's hands.

„You think I'm stupid? You didn't load it, you wouldn't risk--“ Just before he could finish his sentence, as he pulled the trigger to demonstrate the gun was empty, a bullet shot right through the ceiling of Kyle's room. The gun was loaded. Eric froze once he looked back at Ike, seeing the pure disappointment that the gun had been aimed in the wrong direction. Eric quietly checked the gun, just to make sure that the fact that the very first shot was the one containing a bullet was pure accident. It wasn't. It was fully loaded. This little bastard wanted to make sure he shot himself. At that sound, Kyle came running back into his room, looking over at what the fuck was going on.

„What happened?!“

„...Fucking dildo.“ Eric frowned towards Ike, who immediately hugged Kyle's waist, pretending to be nothing more than an innocent child.

„Don't call my brother a dildo! There, there, Ike. What happened?“

„I told Eric to show me how a gun works, we didn't know it was loaded...“

„Oh, poor Ike. I'm glad it only hit the ceiling then. You okay?“ Giving all his attention towards Ike, Kyle forgot any complaints he meant to aim at his boyfriend. Ike gave the fat boy a grin, as if to tell him now he owed him. He had him just where he wanted.

„Semen-puking asshole dickhead...“ Eric muttered to himself, cursing the little boy for his Canadian gangster genes.

 


	20. Emotions in all the right places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a fucking dumbass

„Dude? Why haven't you called me? I was worried about you.“

„I'm sorry. It was just... I was kinda shook after what happened I guess.“ He could hear the shaky sigh from the other line on the phone. Too much happened and Kyle wasn't okay. Stan would be lying if he said he didn't blame himself for listening and getting the hell out of there instead of running in and taking Kyle away with force if that was what it took. Though he knew that'd be futile, Kyle was never one to listen once he made up his mind. Too stubborn for that.

„And are you all okay? What about Craig? You said you were saving him.“

„Yeah, Craig's fine, once we got home he went straight to Tweek.“

„I see. Cartman's with you?“

„Moses, yes. He already managed to meet my family and my mom gave him a talk about treating me good and respecting my religion. He looked like he was going to have an aneurysm from trying to keep a straight face for that long.“

„Holy shit. Well, he kinda deserved that for endangering your life.“

„Come to think of it, how many losses?“

„Twenty-six died. Only one died because of the poison. Kenny.“

„God, Kenny...“

„I know. Is Cartman handling it fine? You said they were really close.“

„He seems fine, I don't know if it's just his way of coping though...“

„I'm still betting on him being just a sadistic sociopath.“ Another sigh, this time a more dramatically dragged out one.

„You think a sadistic sociopath would gently make love to me like he did earlier today?“

„Dude!“ Just then they were interrupted by a gunshot heard just behind Kyle's bedroom door.

„What the fuck? Sorry, gotta go!“

„Sure, dude.“

 

Stan put down his phone, letting out a sigh of relief and plopping down onto the soft, pink bed. He wasn't nearly as nervous about being in the girl of his dream's bedroom as he thought he would be, but maybe it was just all the stress and relief both overshadowing the nervosity. Having heard the whole conversation as the call was on speaker, Wendy looked way more concerned with the whole gunshot situation.

„Didn't you hear that?“

„Hear what? Oh, yeah, I did. Don't worry about it.“

„Are you sure? I mean what if--“

„It's fine, it's fine. Ike probably just tried killing Cartman.“

„How would you know?“

„When we were kids I got the same talk from his mom, they thought we were gay. That's kinda how Kyle admitted to them to being bisexual. Ike tried to make me shoot myself. It's not his fault, he's just very clingy to his big brother, it's more like Kyle's his mom than anything else. The most annoying thing is that Kyle refuses to acknowledge Ike isn't as innocent as he thinks. Not just that, he's completely blind to it, he could see Ike raping someone's dead body and still claim that he didn't know what he was doing and he's just a kid. Maybe he knows deep down, but just wants to keep feeling needed by his little brother.“

„Wow, that's...“

„Fucked.“

„Yeah.“ Wendy plopped down right beside Stan than, just staring up at her ceiling in silence. It was weird lying next to each other like this, but it was also comfortable. It was this calming silence you could only ever experience with the right kind of person. Their hands intertwined together, radiating warmth and communicating in their own way, in their own little world. Talking about others was easy, talking about their feelings for each other were these little glances and touches.

 

It was a beautiful evening, everything looked so peaceful and calm. Despite the bruises and dried up blood on her skin, the still seemed unfazed. Her golden curls flowed through the winds, picking up on the strength she carried within herself and presenting it perfectly. She looked so threatening and yet so mesmerizing at the same time. It was honestly a wonder how the chubby boy didn't melt right then and there, just seeing her sitting on some random car, looking up at the sky. He could tell her what he thought, that she had his heart ever since that one time they dated back in fourth grade, even if it was just fake to her, but that'd be gay. So he made his opening line the only way he knew how to.

„If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against mine?“ Expecting a punch right after that stupid pick up line, Clyde was surprised to find the blonde girl just staring back at him tiredly. She didn't seem annoyed, just exhausted and possibly done with his shit. Every time he wanted to get closer to her it just went wrong.

„Come here.“ The girl pat the space on the car beside her and Clyde didn't hesitate on leaning back against the car, shuddering instantly at the coldness of it. How did she manage to sit on there with only shorts on? The boy hid his fists inside his pockets, kicking a rock in front of him, not knowing where to start from here. Thankfully, she started instead of him.

„You're very obvious, you know. I know those lame pick up lines are just you trying to be cool.“

„Oh, shit--“

„And I don't like that.“ Clyde seemed to freeze up even more at that, feeling rejected for a second before she continued.

„You're really cute, Clyde, but you're so fucking stupid.“ At which it didn't even matter that he got called stupid, because she thought he was cute. The poor boy had to look away from Bebe, just so she wouldn't see his stupid in-love smile. It was ridiculous how nervous he got around her. Under normal circumstances he could chat up girls, even be confident. But whenever Bebe was involved, all of his manliness, or at least the masculinity he thought he had, seemed to fall apart. Token said it was a crush, but for years now he knew it was love. Because it was much stronger than what people usually described, it went on for too long and Clyde was getting lost in it. It was fine just watching Bebe from the sidelines, but he couldn't help dreaming of getting a chance with her, just for once. Just for once he wanted a real chance, not to be used for shoes or something stupid like that. They were kids at that time, he didn't think badly of her for it, but he did wish it would have gone better. No other girl made him feel like such a mess.

„I... I really like you.“ Finally, he gathered up the courage to speak, but he still didn't bring himself to look at her.

„Now, was that so hard to say?“

„Yes!“ Bebe started laughing at that, trying to cover that smile as she usually only wore a tough expression. It's when he turned his head to face her, smiling and blushing at seeing her laugh. So she was capable of expressing human emotion, he knew it. His heart was full of joy, knowing he was the one to get her to smile.

„Kyle said I should give you a chance.“

„Kyle is a wise man.“

„I said I would, but only if you got over yourself and asked me out.“

„Are you going to say yes for sure? You're not lying?“

„Only one way to find out.“ Clyde took in a deep breath, his voice shaking along with his body as he could feel himself starting to sweat even in this chilly Colorado air.

„Willyougooutwithm--“ As fast as he tried to spit out his question, he was cut off by a pair of soft, cherry tasting lips pressing against his. Clyde could feel his heart burst into a million pieces in the most euphoric way possible, his eyes welling up as well. It wasn't that he was a crybaby, no, not at all. He just got... a little too emotional at times. Yes, that's what it was. It wasn't tears. It was just a healthy, manly way to express a lot of emotions.

„Yes, yes I will.“ Fuck that. He was crying. It was happy tears though.

 


	21. Angel came home

Just another day, just another death no one other than Eric remembered.

 

The poor boy knocked on the door, for once seemingly having no energy to just barge in or go in through the window. Thankfully, when the door opened he didn't need to bother to put on a fake smile either, it was just Eric. He was alone once again. Figures, his mom was probably at her 'night shift'.

„Hey.“ Kenny invited himself inside, going towards the fridge as if it was second nature to him to just rummage through Eric's food and go for the cold leftovers first, bottle of vodka second.

„What took you so long? You've been dead for a week.“ Kenny muttered under his breath when Eric took the leftovers from him and slammed them into the microwave. Kenny didn't need fancy things such as warm food, he was just hungry and grumpy.

„The rats kept dying on their way to my body. The area was fucked, dude. Fuck, I can't believe my fucking luck!“ It wasn't often he got this angry, but when he did it was either about his deaths or about Karen. Those two mostly crossed lines, as his deaths naturally hurt his little sister. Eric was aware of this more than anyone. Kenny's deaths hurt him too, though he always clung onto the belief Kenny would come back the next day. Since this went on for a whole week, the exhaustion on Eric's face was obvious. Still, he didn't want to show it. He was just glad everything was back to normal.

 

„So, how was dying due to a nerve agent?“

„It sucked balls. I just ended up completely paralyzed and couldn't control my body. I couldn't take a breath despite wanting to. I think I even shat myself.“

„YOU FUCKING SHAT YOURSELF?!“ Completely caught off guard, Eric's eyes welled up with tears, laughter taking over the whole house as Kenny grumpily ate his now warm food, glaring daggers at the one who was at fault for his humiliating death.

„Fuck you, Eric.“

„Oh, come on, dude! It wasn't even the first time I did that. Remember the brown note thing? That time you died because you shat yourself so much!“

„God, don't make me remember.“

„Remember when I made Mackey shit himself?“ This time, Kenny couldn't help smiling as he was pulled closer to his best friend, fat arm wrapped around him. Yeah, he remembered all of that. Those were the good old days.

 

„So, what happened in the week of my inactivity?“

„Well, first of all I gotta thank you for your death. Kyle was so emotional after the fight that we ended up in bed together.“

„You finally fucked?!“

„Well... not exactly. Humped, kinda.“

„That's some pussy shit. Next?“

„Believe it or not, Clyde and Bebe are going out now.“

„Holy shit! Did Kyle manage to do that?“

„No fucking clue, man. All I know is that he talked to Bebe about Clyde, so I guess?“

„Is Craig okay? I assumed so since I didn't see him on the other side, but hey, you never know.“

„Yeah, he's fine too. He told on me to Tweek though so I got punched. Kyle just laughed at me, Butters told him to fuck me up and Stan just said that I deserved it.“

„I fucking love Butters.“

„Why don't you have him suck your dick then?“

„You know what? I might. What can his girlfriend do to me all the way from Canada anyway?“ At which Eric shuddered, remembering his own Canadian problem. Fuck, he never expected to be in this kinda position.

„Come to think of it... Kyle's little brother is Canadian.“

„So?“

„So he kinda tried to kill me with a rigged Russian roulette game and now is blackmailing me because he saved my ass since it looked like I was at fault, holding the gun and all.“ This time it was Kenny's turn to start laughing like a maniac. It was just like Eric to end up getting blackmailed by the little brother of his own boyfriend.

„You're such a dumbass! What is he using you for anyway?“

„Well, for one I had to teach him how to make VX. Then he took all my video games. Now I have to pretend like I absolutely love him in front of Kyle so whenever we want to spend time alone or go on a date, he fucking joins us.“

„Dude, that's kinda cute though. You're like a little family.“

„It'd be cute if he wasn't the Canadian Devil incarnate.“

„So Kyle is completely oblivious to it?“

„Absolutely, he's so fucking blind. I talked to Stan about it and he confirmed it. Told me it'd be better if I just went along with whatever he wants. Said Kyle would snap if I even raised my voice at him and like, I get that vibe from him. He's really protective of his little brother. Like some mom.“

„And you're into it because of your mommy issues.“

„Shut up, Kenny.“

„Hey, it's all good. Maybe he'll let you suck on his titties. Y'know, breastfeed you.“

„Stop it.“

„Why? Is the baby getting turned on?“ Food all finished, Kenny grabbed the bottle of vodka and sprawled himself out on the couch before Eric sat his fat ass down right onto his stomach, knocking the wind out of Kenny.

 

„Dude-- Get off!“

„No. Anyway, I told your sister you had to go to Los Angeles urgently and couldn't join us in our war. She doesn't know you died.“ Kenny's face softened up at that, the gratitude really showing in his smile. He didn't like lying to Karen, but at this point it became a reflex, it even became a reflex to Eric whenever he had to make up excuses as to why Kenny wasn't coming home. He didn't like thinking that he was doing something good for his best friend, he just... he did it because he wanted to. Whatever.

„Where's she been all week?“

„With Ruby. I didn't know Karen was a dyke.“

„Well, yeah. They kept to themselves, she never even directly told me, but I kinda understood from the way she talked about her. All love struck. It was really adorable.“

„You're just happy this means she can't get knocked up like your shitty mom.“

„Fuck yeah I am. We don't need another kid in the McCormick family. Not from her.“

„You don't need another McCormick kid period. I can't believe you don't have illegitimate kids walking around from all the fucking you do.“

„As I always say; don't be a silly and wrap your willy.“

„Truly an inspiring quote.“

„I know, I know.“ Interrupted by another person walking in, both their heads turned towards the door only to see the familiar redhead coming in. Eric gave him a key, figures. Kenny had one too, but because of all his deaths he just kept losing it so there really was no point in keeping one. What ruined Eric's mood though was the little black haired boy holding onto Kyle's hand. It had Kenny grinning, knowing just how much he probably hated this little football looking kid.

„Oh, hey there, Kenny. How was Los Angeles?“ Kyle's eyes lit up after seeing that face, looking all healthy and well. He might have not remembered his death, but that didn't mean he didn't care about Kenny.

„It was fine, mama Kyle.“

„Mama?“ Kyle didn't know where that nickname came from, nor did he know why his boyfriend was blushing so much. Maybe it would be better to let this one slide and ignore it. Yeah, definitely.

 


	22. I'll build him a kingdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that lowkey stenny doe

„Dude, stop being so fat.“

„AYE! I'm not fat, I'm just big boned.“ The two friends argued, Kenny doing his best to pull the fat boy up onto the random garage rooftop they decided to hang out at. Kyle and Stan stared in amusement at the display before them. It was like seeing a really starved ferret pulling on a gigantic bear. However, Stan's fun was quickly disrupted when Kyle's eyes noticed just where his best friend was looking at directly.

„Stop staring at Kenny's ass.“

„I'm not!“ The boy defended himself way too quickly for it to come out honest.

„You dog. First Wendy and now Kenny?“

„Shh! I'm not into Kenny. Things with Wendy are going really well, thank you very much.“

„I didn't ask about your straight escapades. You seemed really into it when Kenny dressed up in his princess outfit too...“ Kyle muttered the last part, more so to himself, but when he was met with dead silence and looked over to see a heavily sweating Stan, his eyes widened in realization.

„Stan?“ Silence.

„STAN?“ More silence. Though once Kyle couldn't control his burst of laughter, that's when the poor boy stood up and walked away from his best friend.

„Gonna help pull your fat boyfriend up!“

„Go ahead, that won't save you from the gay!“

 

It was kind of funny seeing those two finally pull Eric up, the fat boy out of breath and towering over both of them. Kyle just kind of sat there, leaning back against a graffiti covered wall, only feeling the cold on his ass since his boyfriend's big leather jacket covered him up nicely. He also decided to wear his trusty old ushanka again since the cold started getting to him lately and the winds always blew his hair out of proportion which was really fucking annoying.

„Fucking Jew, would just leave me to fall.“

„Why not? It'd be funny.“ Kyle grinned, not surprised at hearing the loud thud that came with Eric sitting down, or more like falling down with his whole weight.

„Wanna throw him off?“ Kenny decided to have his input and Stan immediately nodded as if it was the best idea they ever had.

„Don't bother, he's too heavy to drag off anyway.“ The redhead couldn't help himself either, grinning from ear to ear and trying not to laugh at the angry look he got.

„God, I hate you guys.“ It was honestly adorable how they all seemed to gang up on Eric whenever it was a good time, which was pretty much anytime. Kyle found out Eric had a pretty short temper when it came to his weight, apparently it has been like that ever since he was child. Kyle honestly loved how the weight looked on him, but there's no way in hell he could keep himself from poking fun at him if it got him this irritated. Eric didn't seem to take it too seriously from Kyle either, he knew how much he actually turned the redhead on, so all he resorted to were Jew jokes. It became a reflex at one point, they would refer to each other as fatass and Jew. Only when they were intimate did they use more romantic nicknames, but that was something for their ears only.

 

„Anyway, give me the beer.“ Eric groaned, wanting to just shake it off, but Kenny apparently wasn't having any of it.

„Careful, fatass, you already have a beer belly.“

„That fucking does it! You're getting thrown off the roof, poor boy!“ Eric shot up with amazing speed, picking Kenny up over his shoulder and stomping towards the edge of the roof with a screaming and kicking Kenny.

„PROTECT THE PRINCESS!“ The blonde boy screamed, latching onto Stan's hand and trying his hardest to kick himself off Eric. Surely enough, Stan pulled the princess off, saving her from the big, angry dragon. Kyle just watched the scene unfold, already sipping from his beer bottle, honestly expecting at least one of them to fall off and break a few bones, but sadly no such thing happened and they all grumpily returned to their seats, Kenny still hiding behind Stan as he expected Eric to snap again.

„If you're done being gay, here.“ Kyle offered the boys some bottles from the plastic bag beside him, Stan giving a grimace when he noticed his was non-alcoholic.

„How thoughtful of you, Kyle.“

„Wouldn't want you pissing on our carpet again.“

„Hey, that only happened once and it was because I drank the entire vodka bottle.“ Eric and Kenny just watched the exchange, Kenny lighting up at that revelation.

„Holy shit, dude. You gotta get high with me sometime.“

„Sure.“ At which both Eric and Kyle made gagging sounds, mocking them mostly for not being invited to smoke with them.

„It's gotta be weed brownies though.“

„Why?“

„I have asthma.“ Stan replied and Eric immediately lost it, starting to laugh and choking on his drink. Apparently he didn't expect that one.

„So the Jew has diabetes and the hippie has asthma? That's fucking gold.“

„Don't worry, I can bake for you.“ Kenny ignored the fat boy, it wasn't that hard to ignore his comments after spending so much time with him.

„Why don't you suck his dick too?“

„Don't tempt me.“ Some comments couldn't be ignored though, some comments earned a middle finger in Eric's face. This was one of those moments. Poor Stan was left confused, seeking help in his best friend's eyes, but Kyle looked away, leaving him to deal with this one on his own.

 

It really was a beautiful evening, not really warm, but not too cold either. The skies were painted grey, full of fluffy clouds covering the view and the smell of upcoming rain in the air taking over their senses. It was going to storm soon, but the boys didn't seem to mind just sitting there waiting and drinking. They felt this weird calmness they hadn't experienced in a long time in their hectic lives. The only thing they could hear was the still distant thunder and soon enough some random, old rock'n'roll song out of Kenny's phone. Cracked screen, weird stickers all around the back. It sure resembled the blonde boy in the best way.

„Come dance with me!“ Kenny dragged Stan away, jumping and dancing and shouting into the skies, trying to be louder than the thunder itself, getting louder with every single time it seemed to be getting closer. Small raindrops started falling then, the boys didn't care. Kenny was having fun and was forcing Stan to have it too. Probably the first time Stan had fun without drinking actual booze in a very long time. Maybe Kenny just had that effect on people.

 

Eric and Kyle stayed there however, sitting in their quiet little world, only sensing whatever was happening around them with little interest. Kyle's head fell onto the fat boy's shoulder, looking up at the sky and trying to follow the rain dropping down onto the ground in front of them. Eric was the first one to speak up, bringing Kyle out of his little daze.

„I was thinking...“

„Hm?“

„Let's reign Colorado.“ Kyle's eyes fell onto his boyfriend, looking over him and only seeing a very determined and confident look on his face. That's what he loved. Eric had big goals, he was never afraid to chase after them either. How could he say no to that? Dazed by his love, he smiled.

„Can we do it?“

„We can take over the game. You and me. We can do it.“

„Fuck it.“ Kyle chuckled, closing his eyes and letting himself be convinced by Eric's lips, tasting the rain as it fell down on them. His arms wrapped around Eric's neck, clinging to his body with such desperate need. It felt like they could take over the entire universe.

 


	23. Before our time runs out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're just thinking of their mortality so don't worry bby

„It's peaceful this year.“

„Yeah.“ Craig muttered under his breath, holding the hot cup of coffee in his hands, trying to warm up after having walked all the way into Tweak's coffee shop in this snow storm. Hands red and numb, it was nothing unusual for the boys, they grew up used to these harsh winters.

 

With nobody else bothering to go outside in that cold, the shop was pretty much empty. Tweek sat down right next to his boyfriend, leaning into him and hugging his arm. It really was peaceful. Usually, around this time of the year Cartman got way more active in trying to ruin everyone's Christmas, so him and Craig fought over turf. It wasn't the case this year. Ever since Kyle came, everything started changing. It was like that boy's presence set something big in motion. May it be the near death experience, but ever since that day Craig started feeling like there was something off about this. Things were simply going too fast, too drastically. It's not like it bothered him, but it felt weird. Kyle was incredibly strong, but even the strongest people could sink within the blink of an eye. His and Cartman's power in Colorado was growing, they have taken over all surrounding towns in a matter of two months. Which was quite frankly insane. Not only did they dare take on countless gangs, they kept winning. You'd think they luck would have ran out already, but it didn't look like another person would be the thing to bring them down. Maybe it was something bigger, a higher power, if you believe in that.

 

Something was going to happen. Craig just knew.

 

„You still got that bad feeling?“

„Yeah, I just can't shake it off.“

„Craig, it's gonna be okay. You never believed in all that paranormal stuff before, unlike me.“

„I know, but when I was dying, I kinda... felt like a door was opening or something. I don't know. It was like I knew that place. Something felt very familiar. Ever since then I can't help but associate it with fatass and Kyle. I mean, they're basically putting themselves at death's door all the time.“ It was honestly weird to see Craig care about anything other than Tweek and Stripe. Maybe he didn't even care, but the feeling was too strong. It was like trying to figure out something he was sure he knew, but couldn't force his mind to puzzle all the pieces together. Rather than worried about those two, he felt like he discovered something big, but it was too big to see the whole picture. Tweek stroked along his arm, giving him one of those warm, calm smiles only Craig knew.

„How about I close up and you help me decorate the tree? Now that Cartman's out of the picture, we don't need to worry about fights.“

„Sounds nice.“ Craig returned the smile, taking a deep breath and hoping to God this would clear some of his thoughts out.

 

„Did I mumble, motherfucker?!“ Kyle gripped the phone tightly, losing his patience already. Five towns under their reign already. Naturally, someone would sooner or later get wind of it and the leader would go into hiding.

„You can kill anyone you want, I'm not giving up my position nor am I fighting you.“

„Give me that.“ Suddenly, the phone was snatched by Eric. „You're breaking my balls here, Sir.“

„Your what?“

„My balls. You're breaking them.“ Kyle rolled his eyes before he noticed the passed out and tied up girl Eric must have dropped off when he came in. Interesting.

„Maybe this will convince you, old man.“ A picture of the girl on the couch was quickly sent to the number and all you could hear was shock, anger and lastly submission, all just from hearing the guy's breathing change.

„I'm coming out.“

„That's nice. I'll be sure to save you a rainbow bracelet.“ Eric hung up, returning the phone to Kyle.

„I'm impressed. How'd you find his... whatever she is?“

„Daughter. Bitch sneaked out cuz she wanted to go to a party. I don't even think he told her we were at war. Bit him right in the ass.“

„She looked like one of those trophy wives.“

„Aw, you jelly? Don't worry, you'll be my trophy wife too.“

„Please, I'm no trophy. Without me you wouldn't even get this far.“

„You're right. You didn't say nothing about the wife part though.“

„I--“ Screech. Eric looked out, noticing the car that abruptly stopped in front of the hotel. It was owned by this guy, but Kyle and Eric made sure to clear it all out. They exchanged looks before Kyle stood up, rushing towards the elevator and pressing the button to go to the first floor, sharing the anticlimatic elevator music with nothing but a bleeding out corpse of a guy who worked here before they took care of him. It looked like that on all floors, even when the elevator opened, Kyle immediately noticed the man looking over all the corpses terrified. When Kyle stepped out, he realized this might have been a bad idea.

„I- I came, just like you wanted me to! Let me see my daughter!“

„Meet her on the other side.“ Swing. Crack. Splatter. Just like all the other times before.

 

Tweek's phone lit up just as Craig picked him up to place the star on top of the tree. Jumping down, he looked into his messages, grimacing at the sight.

[kyley-b]: ho ho ho merry christmas 

It was sent along with a picture of Kyle smiling at the camera, with Eric putting the gang leader's body onto a cross. Question remained whether it was Kyle's or Eric's idea. Very Christmas-y indeed. Wouldn't be the first time a Jew had someone's leader crucified. The irony didn't miss either of them.

„They're insane.“

„Yep.“

„Think we will ever be like that?“

„Nope.“

„Thank God.“

„I'll go clean up the leftover decoration.“ Craig walked off then, leaving Tweek alone with his phone.

 

[tweekers]: jesus christ

[kyley-b]: literally

[tweekers]: omg

 

So he realized how it looked.

 

[kyley-b]: also

[kyley-b]: i think eric suggested marriage in the future but idk

[tweekers]: wait what, cartman did??

[kyley-b]: yeah i think

[kyley-b]: he was like oh you gon be my trophy wife and i was like nah i'm no trophy and he was like so you gon be my wife basically

[tweekers]: he could have asked the big question better

[kyley-b]: i mean he didn't ask but it got me thinking about marriage y'know, like because of the whole gang stuff we are guaranteed to die young, which is why the age for marrying got moved down to 16 and all

[tweekers]: so when he asks you're gonna say yes?

[kyley-b]: i think so yeah

[tweekers]: there's always divorce

[kyley-b]: smh thanks for the trust in our ability to stay together

[tweekers]: i mean, you're right, the majority of us won't die a natural death so if you really love him and you feel like it's the right thing to do, i say go for it

[kyley-b]: i'll think about it when my head's clearer, thank you 

[tweekers]: no problem

 

It might have been the conversation he had with Craig earlier, he wouldn't have said those things otherwise. He almost lost his first and only love. Marrying young didn't seem like such a stupid idea after all that. Maybe they will get married in a year and maybe not. Well, it was for them to figure out.

 


	24. Mother knows best

Some people think the key to a successful relationship is the parent's blessing.

 

Eric didn't think that.

 

„I told you, I'm not introducing my boyfriend to you. You'll just embarrass me and ask him about our sex life.“

„Poopsikins, as your mommy I have a right to know who you're dating.“

„No.“

„Eric, don't be like that! I can't believe you won't even tell me his name after all this time. How long have you been dating?“

„Like, six months I think.“

„...Honey, is it another one of your imaginary friends and that's why you're not telling me?“

„What the fuck? No!“

„Then you're going to call him over for dinner right now!“

„No!“

„You most certainly are!“ That's it, standing up and pulling out a gun on his own mother, Eric didn't even blink an eye as he threatened the poor woman who gasped, placing a hand over her chest.

„No means no, Bill Cosby!“

„Eric, put that gun down!“

„No! You're going to go upstairs and forget this conversation ever happened!“

„Eric, put it down right now!“ Pulling out her own gun out of her fluffy robe, she didn't hesitate to threaten her own son either. Like mother like son.

„...Mom, what the fuck.“

„Call him over right now!“

„Jesus Christ, okay--“

 

As much as it pained him, He had to pull out his phone and dial Kyle. He didn't want to. He knew just how wrong this could go for him. If he was really unlucky, she would pull out his old baby photos. He might as well kill himself if that happens. He didn't want to feel like he needed his mom's approval either, it's the way he's been doing things all his life. He always ignored her stance on the things he did. Never asked for approval, never even looked back to see if she cared about what he was doing. He was sure she didn't. She used to do a lot of drugs and slept around when he was younger, it didn't feel like she cared. So why bother looking for someone who was out of it most of the time? This time she was really fucking persistent though. How annoying.

„Yo.“

„Yo? You never greet me like that on the phone.“ Might as well be honest.

„Yeah, usually I don't have a gun pointed at my head.“

„Shit! Are you okay?!“

„Yeah, it's just my mom.“

„...Your mom?“

„Yeah, why do you sound surprised? Your mom never threatened to shoot your brains out?“ Nice sarcasm there, Eric.

„No, my mom loves me. So why are you calling? I'm not killing your mom if that's what you're asking.“

„Maybe next time. Right now she's forcing me to invite you over for dinner.“ The poor boy exchanged looks with Liane, practically feeling how her finger was twitching on the trigger, probably actually ready to shoot him if Kyle refused.

„Oh, I'd love to!“

„Christ.“

„I always wondered when I'm gonna meet your mom, but you avoided the subject so I didn't want to push. I'll be over in 10 minutes, love you.“

„Love you too.“ Yeah, there was a reason he avoided the subject.

 

„Oh, I'm so excited!“ The woman flailed around, storming off into the kitchen to set up the table. One second she was ready to kill and the other she was super sweet. Eric certainly got the 'ready to kill' part of the personality, but he only ever showed affection towards cats. And well, Kyle. When the dirty Jew deserved it. Which was... mostly all the time. Whatever.

 

There it was, the fated meet and greet. Liane immediately rushed to open the door while Eric decided to just focus his attention on the TV and the food. He tended to comfort eat a lot. Especially in situations that stressed him the fuck out, like this one for instance. The weird thing though was, Kyle was all dressed up. Maybe it was just weird because he got used to seeing him all slutty all the time and even while it was cold, Kyle managed to somehow pull off the sexy look nevertheless. This time though, his hair was neatly hid under his green ushanka Eric saw on a few occasions, he was wearing his own orange coat and actual pants. Not leggings. Not stockings. Pants. Was he trying to make a good impression?

„Oh my! Come on in, sweetie! What's your name?“

„Kyle, nice to meet you, Ms. Cartman.“

„Please, call me Liane. Poopsikins, I can't believe you were hiding such a cutie!“

„Poopsikins?“ Kyle muttered, smile turning into a grin, his eyes meeting Eric's as they exchanged a whole little conversation in a matter of seconds. This is why he wanted to avoid this.

„Well, don't be shy! Tell me all about how you met, Eric has been all secretive the entire time.“ Forcibly dragged off into the kitchen, Eric couldn't help giving out a big sigh once he was left in the living room alone. On one hand, he was curious, on the other, he'd rather not know.

 

„So?“ Liane's eyes were full of stars, excitement shining through like the morning sun. She really wanted to know how her son fell in love. How he kept loving someone for this long.

„Well... It all started when I moved here in February. On my first day in school, he organized an ambush against us. I only heard his voice and caught a glimpse of his face, but somehow... I guess he caught my attention. It might sound stupid, but...“

„Love's never stupid, dear.“ Kyle smiled, finding more courage in himself to continue his side of the story.

„Well, I was very attracted to him since the first second. Ever since I first heard his voice I felt like I've known him all my life. Ever since I first looked into his eyes I felt like I've always been in love with him... We fought a lot in the beginning, but as time went on, we grew closer and closer...“ Kyle glowed talking about it, smiles decorating both their faces. Liane was right, love is never stupid. The more he talked about it, the more he realized just how much sense it made. Just how much sense their relationship made. Everything was in its place. They couldn't take their eyes off each other since the very beginning. Time only started once they met.

 

Kyle didn't know this, but Eric was just as hooked. Like the Earth, he couldn't drift away from his Sun. He would lose all life if he did. Kyle was his Sun, his light, his warmth. Usually such intense feelings scared him. Not in this situation however. It was calming. Everything felt so right. Everything was the way it was supposed to be.

 

„Dude, your mom's cute.“ Eric raised an eyebrow, suspicious. He decided to ignore them and their little get together.

„Really now?“

„Yeah, you were cute as a baby too. Never lost the baby fat I see.“ Kyle grinned, pulling on Eric's cheek in a playful way. Dear lord. She had to bring it up.

„I'm not fat, I'm just big boned.“ Eric whined, for once not having the energy to fight back with the usual anger.

„Oh, I know how big boned you really are.“ Surely enough, a little flirting was all it took to bring that stupid, loving smile back onto Eric's face. Somehow he always ended up looking at Kyle with that expression.

„Okay, what did my mother tell you?“

„Nothing much. I just told her all about how we fell in love and she was all starstruck, then proceeded to give me a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. I take that's her way of accepting me?“

„I never expected any less from her.“

„So, are you going to invite me up to your room or...?“ Eric's eyes lit up, everything clicking once he saw the desire in Kyle's eyes.

„Are you saying...?“

„Well, I mean, we should at least try the stuff. Would be rude not to accept a gift.“

„Oh, definitely.“

„Definitely.“ Kyle whispered, pressing his lips against Eric's before being lifted up and carried up the stairs like a bride. He couldn't help giggling like a fool. All this talk with Liane, having remembered everything they've been through so far, it really made him realize just how much in love he really was. How much he truly loved Eric. Why put it off? They wanted each other in every way.

 

Maybe a parent's approval wasn't that useless after all, Eric thought.

 


	25. Mark me for the world to see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look it only took 25 chapters

It felt different, but also kind of exciting. He knew they wouldn't be interrupted, but at the same time it was weird that Eric's mom knew just what was going to happen. The silky bedsheets felt so cold against Kyle's back once he was thrown onto his boyfriend's bed. He loved letting Eric manhandle him like that. Feeling like he was cared for was something new to him too. It was warm in the room, but Kyle was still shivering, it might have been the excitement and anxiety mixing, leaving him a mess. He was already hard, just thinking about what was going to happen. This wasn't their first time doing sexual things, but it would be their first time. How could he possibly get ready for this? Not physically, he played with himself and used toys sometimes, but the way his mind raced was impossible to control. There were lots of worries in his thoughts, just images flashing about, but all of those were shunned once he looked into those chocolate eyes.

„We can stop anytime.“ If there was anything Eric was good with other than killing people or destroying their lives, it was consent. Kyle suspected it had something to do with his past. Kenny mentioned once, but Kyle didn't want to hear it from anyone other than Eric, even if he decided never to share his trauma.

„I know. I could easily snap your neck if you refused to.“

„Cute.“ Not like he would ever need to. So far Eric has done some stupid and reckless things, but this wasn't going to be one of those times.

„So, how do we do this?“

„Maybe start kissing first?“ It didn't feel as awkward as it sounded, since all they could manage was stupid giggles and loving, soft kisses. It was clumsy, but at the same time it felt perfect.

 

Clothes slowly started being peeled off once Kyle helped take off Eric's shirt, wrapping his arms around his back and leaving hickeys all over his neck. The fat boy's heart raced more than ever, feeling just that little bit more addicted to the attention he was getting. Kyle always managed to make him feel just right, but he decided he wanted to return the favor. This night was about Kyle after all, at least in Eric's eyes it was.

„Hey, let go, I wanna do something.“

„What?“

„You'll see.“ Hesitantly letting go, Kyle squeaked once he felt both his pants and underwear being pulled off at once so quickly. It was all fine and dandy until Eric pushed his legs up and suddenly, Kyle felt a sloppy tongue hungrily lapping along his cock, balls and finally sliding further down where it intended to be in the first place. Eric was a good eater, that was for sure. The redhead's eyes rolled up, unable to contain his moans at feeling something so new and foreign and so, so good.

„Shit...“

„Feeling good?“ Eric perked up, taking a good look at that red face, contorted in something that could only be described as pure bliss and pleasure. He was surely making a funny face, but it was somehow really hot. People did tend to have weird quirks when it came to sex and it looked like this was his.

„Yeah... So good...“ Eric chuckled at that half gone response, mocking Kyle in the most innocent way possible.

„Stupid Jew, I haven't even started yet.“

„Fucking do it. Here.“ No patience there as Eric was met with the oh so familiar lube bottle.

„How eager.“

„Do it before I bite your dick off.“

„Is that how you Jews circumcise?“

„I swear--“ Too late, Kyle's complaints were thankfully cut off with a lubed up finger getting pushed up his ass. If he knew this was the way to turn his bitching into moans, he would have done it way sooner. It felt strange, feeling someone else's fingers other than his own, but he quickly got used to the feeling. The boy certainly had no issue with getting relaxed. Or loud for that matter.

„Okay, enough, I don't wanna cum yet--“

„How thoughtful of you. Should I put it in now?“

„Yeah, be careful though. Do it slowly.“

„Like this?“

„Yea-- Ahhh!“ Kyle's back arched, feeling that wonderful sensation of being filled up and stretched decently. Fuck, it was far better than any toy. Though his arousal might have been mostly due to the fact that he was doing it with someone he loved. Eric stopped, brushing Kyle's curls off his forehead and placing kisses all over his face. It felt all nice and warm and extremely wet from the amount of lube he used.

„You okay?“

„Mm, yeah. Wait, did you put on a condom?“

„Shit, I forgot--“

„Eric, we're going to make a mess!“

„Well, fuck, should I pull out or something?“

„Too late for that, fatass.“

„I'm inside you for 10 seconds and you're already arguing with me like you're my wife.“

„You're inside me for 10 seconds and you already talk like we've been married for 10 years.“

„Shut up, I'm gonna make love to you like we've gotten married 10 seconds ago.“ Kyle's eyes lit up at that, heart warming up with this natural sense of belonging. They did argue like a married couple, but they loved each other like a happily married couple. So much was obvious. Eric's thing was more of showing his love, so whenever he said something so heart warming, it always made Kyle weak in the knees, especially in the position they were in at the moment. Eric didn't lie either, the way he moved his hips was so slow and so gentle, yet so full of passion and desire. It was like he put every inch of his body into making sure Kyle would understand. He was his. Only his. Nothing in the world could change their feelings, nothing could possibly get inbetween their love. Nothing could compare to their love. It was different from everything else. It was heavenly, otherworldly, ethereal.

 

Room filled up with nothing but the sound of Kyle's loud moans, Eric's own grunting, skin slapping against each other and the bed squeaking, it was so simple yet so right. Nothing about it felt dirty, quite the contrary, it felt pure, right, holy.

 

To belong to his future husband in such a way felt like a high he has never experienced before. He was being made love to and fuck, he felt like the brightest star, lighting up worlds far and wide to the point of feeling worshiped. His body was holy and so was their love. It all felt like an eternity, sense of time disappearing with their rationality being melted down into nothing but raw emotion and instinct. The poor boy only got off his high after he came, feeling a few more thrusts rammed into him before being filled up Eric's cum. It felt amazing, but the stickiness was annoying. Especially when it dripped out of him once Eric pulled out, at least he managed to focus on the happy kissing.

„Mmm... Didn't think I would cum before you.“

„Impressive stamina, huh?“

„Dumbass, we only lasted 4 minutes.“

„Eh, there's gonna be plenty of practice.“ At which Kyle smiled, cuddling up into his bear of a man.

„I'm sure. Well, at least we know we are compatible in bed now.“

„Damn, you would have broken up with me if we weren't?“

„Hard to say. Doesn't matter now, I'm all yours.“

„I like the sound of that. Hey, want to close off the deal? I can tattoo something stupid like 'Property of Eric T. Cartman' onto you.“ Kyle let out a laugh from the heart at that, but with the biggest smile he nodded. First it had been the slut collar. And although a tattoo was something more permanent, why the fuck not? They were young and in love and stupid. Some may say that was all the reason not to do something like that, but Kyle had been thinking about death a lot ever since coming here. Before South Park, he felt immortal, like no one could be possibly strong enough to do him in. Eric proved him wrong, this whole town proved him just how easily he could be wiped from the surface of this forsaken planet at any moment. So many people died young and in love and stupid. You couldn't really blame Kyle for craving love. Thinking about it, yes, he would marry Eric if he asked. He would marry him in a heartbeat, spend the rest of his life with him, even if he were to die the next day. Nothing in the world could stop him from saying yes every single time, to every single stupid idea. Whether it was taking over Colorado or getting a dumb sounding tattoo with the name of the man he loved.

„Fuck it, let's do it.“

„Really? Where do you want it?“

„Stomach. Make it big. I wanna be able to show it off.“ Eric grinned at those words, feeling more proud than ever. Just the love of his life saying he wanted to show off who his man was, God, it felt so unreal and so good. No one was ever this proud to be his.

 

Yeah. Fuck it. Life is short.

 

„Hey, what does the T. stand for?“

„Theodore.“

„Your middle name's fucking Theodore?“

„Shut up.“

„Oh my god!“ Kyle couldn't stop laughing, even as Eric threatened to tattoo dicks on him if he didn't stop.

 


	26. For the rest of our lives

„I can't believe we did that.“

„Yeah, me neither.“ The boys fell flat back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, their hands finding each other on instinct. The room was only drowned out by the sound of Halsey playing in the background. Kyle's choice.

„Not bad for your first tattoo.“ Eric commented, looking over his wrist and the 'Kyley-B' written over it. Once he finished Kyle's tattoo, he wanted to do something stupid too.

„Thanks. You know, I didn't think about what my mom would say to this.“

„Why? You scared?“

„Dude, she's scary when she's mad.“

„Well, sometimes you just gotta do what you wanna do. You can't spend your whole life following rules set by other people. If you do, you'll never be happy.“ Kyle listened carefully before his gaze fell on his boyfriend, looking him over with fascination. He was right.

„You make me happy.“ Eric perked up at that, looking back into Kyle's forest colored eyes, small smile in place.

„So am I a rule you're breaking?“

„I'd break any rules for you.“ Dedication. Loyalty. Trust. Call it what you will, Kyle had a lot of it. He realized, more out of anyone, that it could be dangerous. He would do anything if it was for his lover. No matter how dangerous or impossible. As for Eric, he had never imagined he would ever feel so much honest to God love towards anyone. Stroking Kyle's cheek, his eyes told that he realized something important.

„I want to spend the rest of my life with you.“

„Me too.“

 

Moments like these made Eric think that he was just under some sort of spell, there was no way he could describe the warmth in his chest, it burned his heart like melting gold. To understand such complex things was beyond their comprehension, so Eric just thought that maybe every now and then the stars align. The stars were theirs.

„Hey, tell me about New Jersey. What's up with the whole Kyley-B lore?“ Kyle rolled his eyes at that word, he could exactly think back on how he was treated as some sort of horror story, legend even. He couldn't help taking a long drag off Eric's cigarette before diving into the story.

„You remember about that one time Jersey people suddenly started running off into other states?“

„Well, shit, yeah. We had to call in fucking Al Qaeda for help.“

„Those were the people who didn't like my mom's gang ruling over New Jersey, so they decided to move.“

„No offense, but that was a lot of fucking people.“

„No, I know. She could go kind of crazy, even almost started a war with Canada.“

„Shit, that was her too?“

„Yeah, but anyway, after you all chased everyone back home, no one was allowed to leave anymore. She kind of set up these armed guards everywhere, it was really crazy. The reason you didn't hear much about her is because she kept an iron rule over Jersey all her life, no one dared even mention her name. She only retired when we moved here. It was the longest any gang leader has reigned over such a large territory.“

„So everyone's scared of you because you're mommy's boy?“

„Funny. That's part of it, sure, but I killed my first guy when I was 6. There were two guys in fact, harassing me and Stan when we were playing outside. I still remember it as if it was yesterday, these two old guys come up to us, I guess they wanted to threaten my mom by kidnapping me or something. Stan was scared.“

„What exactly did you do?“

„I told the guy to come closer, that I wanted to tell him a secret. That dumbass did, thinking I was just some normal kid, but he seemed to forget I was my mom's kid. I whispered to him 'die' before slitting his throat with this pocket knife my mom left me in case anything were to happen. So like, I'm standing there, face and shirt drenched in blood, watching the other guy slowly stop moving before turning to the other guy who was at this point completely paralyzed. He begged me to spare him. I didn't.“

„...Kickass.“ Kyle lost it right there, not expecting Eric to be so indulged in the story.

„Really? That's all you have to say to that?“

„What else is there to say? I'm falling further in love the more I know about you. So the teardrop tattoos are your first kills.“

„Yeah, I always bothered my mom about wanting tattoos just like her and well, when that happened I called it tradition and she agreed.“

„Killer. I like it.“

„Thanks.“

„Oh, I just remembered, you gotta come to the New Year's party tomorrow.“

„Where at?“  
„Stark's pond. I'll pick your sweet ass up.“

„Okay.“ Kyle chuckled at that, expecting nothing less from his gentleman of a boyfriend.

 

Kenny stared in disbelief, he has been staring at his best friend for the past 5 minutes, thinking of an appropriate response. Not even the fresh air helped him think in this situation though. He could pick a witty response, make fun of him. Sadly, he didn't manage to find anything proper, instead he just wanted to know what came over him.

„Dude...“

„Okay, Kinneh, don't you dare give me the 'you're too young, you two haven't been dating long enough, you don't have the money for it' talk because I know and believe me, I did think it through.“

„No, dude. Not at all, actually. I do think you two are meant to be. How do I say this? I can feel it in my bones.“

„Kinneh, you can't feel your bones.“ Eric commented, looking down at his best friend sprawled on the ground as he was just hit by a truck. The fat boy was sitting right beside his slowly dying friend, already used to such displays. They were on a remote road, all surrounded by mountains and the forest. Nobody cared who they hit here.

„Touché. Where are you going to get money for a ring though?“

„I already did. Borrowed money from these guys. I've been thinking about this for a while. Look.“ Eric lied down onto the road next to Kenny, pulling out the ring and looking as the pretty little diamond shined in the softly orange colored sky above them.

„Holy shit, it looks expensive.“

„It was.“

„How much?“

„12k.“ At which Kenny touched his chest, gripping it dramatically.

„I think I can see Death now. How the fuck are you gonna pay them back?“

„I'm already paying them back. I gave them some of the towns me and Kyle took over, they seem satisfied enough. Besides, everyone is scared of Kyle so they're pretty much secure to do whatever they want there.“

„Cool. You gonna ask him tomorrow?“

„Yeah.“

„Shit, I gotta hurry up and die so I can make it.“

„A car is coming.“

„You're going to get up and watch it run me over, right?“

„Yep.“

„Fat piece of shit.“ Just then Eric stood up and moved out of the way, watching the car carelessly run over him, crushing the rest of his bones and effectively killing him. At least he wasn't in pain anymore. Seriously, how did Kenny always manage to get into these stupid deaths?

„See ya tomorrow, poor boy.“ Eric nudged Kenny's crushed shoulder with his boot gently, smiling.

 


	27. By the moon and the stars in the sky

„Oh. Hey.“

„Hey.“ Eric stared down at Ike who just so happened to open the door instead of Kyle. Although Ike was just a little boy, his gaze pierced through Eric's soul. Every single fucking time.

„So, can I see Kyle?“

„He's still getting ready upstairs.“

„Well, can I come in?“

„No.“ Just like that, the door was slammed in front of his face, leaving him out there in disbelief. Fucking rude. Not liking that, Eric started kicking the door.

„Open up you Canadian piece of--“ The door opened then, revealing Kyle's small, but apparently extremely dangerous mom. „--piece of cute little brother whom I love like family already. Hallelujah.“ Nice save.

„Please, come in, Eric!“

„Thank you, Mrs. Broflovski. Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you first.“

„What is it, dear?“ Eric fished out the ring, showing it to her before quickly hiding it away in fear of Kyle waltzing down just right at the wrong time. Sheila gasped, panicking a little and making sure the coast is clear before they continued talking in whispers.

„I wanted to know if you're okay with this first.“ That's a lie, he would have asked Kyle to marry him even if she wasn't. It's better to get on her good side though.

„Of course! My husband asked me when we were this young too! Still, remember you don't have to rush into a wedding, it's a lot of stress.“

„Don't worry, I'm not gonna take him from you the second he turns 16.“ As if on cue, both chubby hotheads straightened up and stopped whispering once they saw Kyle come down the stairs. He looked as cute as ever, especially when he wore that leather jacket he indirectly stole. His bright red lips and green hat suited him beautifully.

„What were you two talking about?“

„Nothing.“ They answered in unison, trying not to look suspicious, but instead making it look like they just conspired against someone. Specifically him.

„Bubbeh, take your little brother with you, all he does is sit in front of the computer. Going outside will do him good.“

„Okay. IKE!“ Kyle screamed, his voice effectively piercing all the way into his little brother's room.

„WHAT?“ The little boy screamed back.

„GET YOUR COAT, YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH US TONIGHT!“

„BUT I'M WATCHING YURI ON ICE!“

„MOM SAID YOU HAVE TO COME!“

„I hate this fucking family.“ The little Canadian whispered.

 

Still abusing the power he had above Eric, it was no wonder that Ike ended up sitting on his shoulder, being carried around like a king for he is too lazy to walk. Besides, wouldn't want to tell Kyle that the whole gun situation wasn't just an accident. He could end them so fast if he wanted to, but he kinda liked annoying his brother's boyfriend all the time. It was fun. Eric wasn't that bad in the end. Once they arrived at Stark's pond, Ike's eyes lit up. Bonfires, cool motorcycles and cars, loud music, booze... It certainly had a charm to it. Despite the darkness around them, the fires really lit up the place, everything looked so alive and chaotic in a good way.

„Yo.“ Kenny appeared out of nowhere, a bottle of beer in his hand already. Looked like Kenny was in the mood too.

„Glad you made it, poor piece of shit.“

„I wouldn't dream of missing this. Hey, Ike, let me take you to the kids corner.“

„What? No!“ As easy as pie, Kenny carried Ike over his shoulder, walking off with him to give the two lovebirds a little alone time.

„H-H-H-H-Hey fellas.“ Didn't look like they were going to get any time alone though.

„TIMMY!“

„Hey Jimmy, hey Timmy, how have things been going for you?“

„P-P-Pretty swell if I do say so myself. I heard you got a boyfrie- a boyfr- a b-b-b-b-boyfriend.“

„That would be me. Nice to meet you.“ Kyle smiled, taking Eric's hand, pretty proud to introduce himself like that to the people who knew Eric.

„N-N-Nice to meet you too, I'm Jimmy and this is Timmy.“

„I'm Kyle.“

„W-W-Well I hope you fellas have a good evening. W-W-We might be seeing you around more in the future, we were talking about an alliance with Craig.“

„Alright Jimmy, take care.“ Kyle waved to them, watching them go before they could finally sit down on one of the benches and grab some bottles.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he managed to catch the sight of Kenny patting Stan's back. He must have dragged him here earlier. Dumbass always gets drunk so early. His girls were here too, it seemed to be a yearly thing. It was cute in all honesty, everyone forgetting about their conflicts and getting together like this.

„So, should we be worried about the new alliance?“

„Not sure, to be honest. I mean, Craig has a little bitch gang, but Jimmy and Timmy managed to get the Crips and the Bloods together when we were ten, he even got a bunch of more handicapped kids into the gang so it's pretty large. If they stayed in South Park, Craig's gang would be practically invisible.“

„Well, we will see what the next year brings.“

„Cheers.“ The two boyfriends clinked their bottles and once the music quietened down and the countdown to the new year started, Eric got up and jumped onto a car, catching everyone's attention, even those ones who were too drunk to realize what was going on around them up to this point.

„Attention, please!“ Well, he certainly got it. Even Kyle was looking up at him, wondering what in the world he could be doing at such a moment.

„This is a message for Kyle Broflovski.“ Wait, what?

10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

„Sometimes, love is confusing. But you can't just run away from it. When you start to have something special, you have to work at it. Even though it might seem like the world is against you, you still have to hold on. With both hands. Kyle, I love you, babe.“ At this point Kyle's eyes were the size of dinner plates, staring up at his boyfriend doing something so fucking cheesy out of the blue like that. At least he could blame his red cheeks on the chilly weather.

…5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

„I want to hold you every morning and love you every night, Kyle. I promise you nothing but love and happiness.“

0.

Just as he finished his speech, the black sky lit up in all different colors and shapes, exploding and painting it like a canvas to signify the new year. They were loud, but Eric's voice was more powerful when he sang.

„ _I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky,_

_I'll be there, Kyle!_

_I swear, like the shadow that's by your side!_

_For better or worse, till death do us part,_

_I'll love you with every gay beat of my heart!“_ Eric was grinning and Kyle was laughing, the perfectly changed lines fit with his character so well, especially when he did it in front of all these people. Everyone was here, his girls, his little brother, his best friend, all kinds of different gangs that linked to South Park. How Eric could embarrass himself with such a huge smirk on his face, Kyle didn't know. But he was grateful for such a dork. Eric jumped off the car then, walking towards Kyle.

„Oh Moses, dude--“ Kyle was still in tears, but his expression froze when he saw Eric stop in front of him and get down on his knee, pulling out a little black box and opening it to reveal a beautiful engagement ring.

„Will you marry me?“ Kyle was speechless, bringing his hands up to his face as tears streamed down his face. He was thinking about it too. Eric was thinking about marrying him too! With soft sobs, he nodded, practically throwing himself at his new fiancé.

„Yes...“ He quietly whispered out, just loud enough for Eric to hear. They do say the New Year represents the beginning of something, well, new. A new start. A new journey. Something bigger and more amazing than last year.

 

This was a new start for them too.

 


	28. You'll never escape your past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O BOI

Well, shit – Stan thought before throwing up next to a laughing Kenny. Over the course of the months, Stan came to accept Cartman. They got along pretty well, played video games together and stuff, although they couldn't go even once without Kyle, at one point, becoming a subject they talked about. Yes, they did come around, but they didn't have much in common and it was kind of weird. Him and Kyle had always been on the same wavelength. Cartman and Kyle shared this weird, ethereal wavelength too. You'd think it's the same thing and it'd mean it was going to be the same for Stan and Cartman, but it wasn't. He had given it much thought and in the end he decided that he'd never understand it. Their relationship was alien, they were both thirsty for power and success, yet at the same time only belonging to one another could really satisfy them. It was this obsessive kind of love. It was full of passion, full of emotion, full of every fire in the world – nothing could fuel their souls more than they did.

 

Stan – he was more down to Earth. He thought Kyle was too, his best friend always acted so rationally, always thought everything through and used his brain before speaking. Once he met Eric Cartman, all of that flew out the window. Kyle started being way more expressive, anger played a huge part in his change, or maybe it was growth? Ever since meeting this guy, he lost all sense of danger. He'd dive into any kind of insane situation or fight if it meant he'd get to fight by his side, or protect him. Which wasn't a surprise alone, Kyle had always been very protective of the people he cared for. Love changes people, they say. Not only do you change as a person, you change around them too. It's like Eric earned the right to see a side to Kyle no one ever did before.

 

Was he jealous? No. On the contrary, he was happy.

 

A huge smile covered Stan's face, wiping his mouth and grabbing for Kenny's hand as they both laughed about the cheesy display in front of them. Kenny expected this, sure, but not even he could predict the show his best friend put on, with a huge fucking gay speech to top it off. And the timing? Fucking amazing! If there was anything that fatass was good at other than torturing people and ruining their lives and taking whatever he wanted, it was the fact that he could put on a great show. He did good, Kenny was proud.

„Come here, Butters.“ The boy looked so touched and teary eyed as he was dragged down to sit on Kenny's other side. Kenny cuddled them both, happy to share this moment with them. Especially Butters, if there was anyone who got the most shit from Eric, it was him. Not even Kenny, the best friend, was dragged into as much shit as Butters was.

„I wish I could kiss Charlotte, but she broke up with me. Something about no one coming to girl's volleyball matches.“

„Aw, you sad, Butters?“

„No, s-she can stick it!“ Kenny stared ahead in disbelief, never thinking Butters could get so... salty over something. It was probably a temporary break up anyway and he will take her back once she asks, but until then...

„You want me to be your New Year's kiss?“

„Ken--“ Too late, Kenny already captured his lips, savoring every little taste and touch he could get from one kiss. Although Kenny couldn't seem to find anyone permanent, it feel lonely if he didn't get a kiss while there was so much love in the air thanks to those two faggots. Stan just stared at them drunkenly.

 

„Everyone is gay kissing around me.“

„You wanna be gay too?“ Came a voice from behind them, it was none other than... Wendyl. Stan's eyes widened in realization once he looked at his partner.

„Holy shit, I'm gay...“ At which Kenny lost it and fell on his back laughing, leaving a blushing Butters thinking about what just went down.

„If you ever want to try out some real dick, hit me up.“ Kenny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, only earning a shocked look from Stan and eye rolls from both Butters and Wendyl.

„I... I can't. I already cheat on Wendy with Wendyl. And on Wendyl with Wendy.“ Stan really did look confused, he was wasted beyond his fucking capacity.

„That's some pussy shit, Marsh. You gon' take him home?“

„Yeah, I don't think he can handle any more gayness in one night.“

„Alright. Call me if you change your mind.“

„Not happening.“

„Bitch!“ Both Kenny and Wendyl flipping each other the bird, though they were still smiling. It's what happens when you live in a remote little town and you're the only two people comfortable with switching genders. Although Eric dressed up in drag, he wasn't really comfortable enough in calling it anything other than drag. Whatever. It was all his choice.

 

Looking at him now, Kenny couldn't help thinking back on how much in the closet he was. It was kind of sad, really. Kenny lit himself a cigarette, watching his best friend and his fiancé looking at each other so lovingly. It was all so... quiet and peaceful. And perfect. Nothing could break this spell.

„I'm so proud of him.“

„He sure came a long way.“

„He did, Kyle coming here was the best thing that could have happened to him. Look at his gay ass, all happy and shit.“

„You think they're gonna last a long time?“

„I think they're gonna last forever. Not sure, I get this vibe. That everything's the way it's supposed to be, you know? Like, looking at them it feels like they were set to meet by fate, the universe or how do I say it? Remember that one song? ' _Every now and then the stars align, boy and girl meet by the great design_ ' that one. Except it's gay this time. And better.“

„Yeah, it kind of makes sense, even though I don't really believe in all this fate stuff.“

„You're only saying that because your girlfriend broke up with you. As soon as you get back together or find a new one you'll be gushing about true love again.“

„Shut up. Remember when he was pretending to be straight?“

„Yeah, it was kind of disgusting. I never thought I'd see him acting so loving towards anyone and actually mean it.“

„Yeah, the whole Heidi Turner thing was a mess.“ Puff, puff, watching the smoke escape his lips and escape into the stars above them. Everything came to a halt when a girly voice made itself known.

„I didn't think anyone would still remember me.“ Butters' eyes widened, too afraid to actually turn his head and look back, unlike Kenny who had no other choice than look into the girl's face in his laid down position.

 

She still looked the exact same as she did five years ago. The cigarette fell out of his mouth and onto the grass, sizzling against the frost covering it.

„Heidi...“

„The one and only.“ Although music was blaring and people were screaming, the eerie silence that overtook his mind was nasty and terrifying.

 

He didn't know what to say. What could he say to the girl that completely took over his best friend's life while he was in a psychosis and drove him so far into the closet that he had a mental breakdown once he realized he was actually gay? For some reason, Eric was scared of her. Kenny and Butters never knew why exactly. When she moved, Eric finally took the chance to break up, but she only kind of... blankly stared back at him, not even answering as she left. Eric said it didn't matter, he would never see her again after that. At least that's what he thought. That's what they all thought.

 

Until now.

 


	29. Not even white lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe a character in a fic didn't lie about their past relationship wow

He must warn them.

 

Kenny's mind raced as he watched Heidi walk off into their direction, slowly but surely like a lion going after its prey. It wasn't that he knew what to expect from her, he couldn't. That was the problem. All he could rely on was the extremely bad vibrations he got from looking at her blank face. Besides, even if she was no threat, she still was a threat to his best friend's mental state. He could only hope one look at her wouldn't drive him back into the closet. With shaky hands, he watched her, ringing Eric's phone.

„What?“

„Run!“ But just as he said that, it was too late. Eric's eyes widened in shock, phone dropping out of his hand. He saw her. And as they made eye contact, she smiled. It was a wonder how he did not breakdown right then and there, but he was absolutely stunned. If this continued on, another psychosis wasn't out of the question. Quickly looking for a way out of this situation, his eyes fell on Ike, who seemed to be in a state of shock from seeing his brother getting engaged.

 

„Hey, Eric.“ Her sweet, girlish voice echoed in his ears, but he didn't manage to give a reply. It was like seeing a ghost from his past, coming back to haunt him. Is this what people talked about when they spoke of karma?

 

„Ike!“

„My big brother... is marrying that fat shit...“

„No time for that right now, your brother is in much bigger trouble!“ Good, that seemed to get his attention.

„What do you mean?“

„See that girl?“

„Yeah?“

„Have you ever seen how the crazy ex comes back to get revenge trope goes?“

„Yeah?“

„Not to make drastic assumptions, but if you want to protect your big brother, you better do what I tell you now.“

„I'm listening.“ Ike didn't really like Cartman, but he didn't hate him either. In fact, he slowly came around to liking that offensive fatty. It might have been because Cartman didn't treat him like Kyle  did, so it was a nice change of pace. Something new. He loved bantering with him because whenever he had a fight with Kyle, he ended up hurting Kyle's feelings. Cartman was like an emotionless statue that would just scream back slurs and 'AYE!' which was honestly fucking funny. Besides, nobody was getting rid of his brother.

 

„Hello, I don't think we know each other.“ Kyle decided to speak first, noticing Eric's shock but deciding to be polite and shake hands with the girl.

„We sure don't. My name's Heidi.“

„Nice to meet you, I'm Kyle. What brought you here?“

„Well, I recently moved back into South Park and figured I'd pay everyone a visit at once. Especially some people who seem to have forgotten me.“ Her eyes gave Eric a quick glance as a cold sweat took over his body.

„Uh, well--“

„Big brotheeer!!“ Ike suddenly made whiny sounds, clinging to Kyle's body and giving him the biggest grin he could muster up before announcing; „I'm drunk.“ In that second, every thought Kyle had before this flew out of the window and his face turned into one of shock, then anger, then annoyance all over the course of a few seconds.

„Who the fuck gave you alcohol?“ Even Eric's attention was caught, dragging him out of his dissociative state and realizing that this was Kenny's doing. They could hold an entire conversation with one look.

„It was Kenny!“ Ike pointed.

„Ike!“ Kenny shouted.

„Kenny!“ Kyle glared. When he thought of saving Eric's ass, he didn't think he would be the one thrown under the bus, but whatever. The little shit's acting was pretty convincing and Kyle was totally buying it.

„I wanna go home. I'm not feeling well.“ Kyle sighed at that, picking his little brother up off the ground and cuddling him.

„I mean, I can take him home and maybe sneak out again, but...“ Then, something unexpected happened. Ike reached for Eric's shirt, tugging at it.

„I'm sure you're tired too, right?“ Ike glared at Eric, giving him the biggest warning his little Canadian eyes could muster up, he was going to kill him himself if he didn't play along should it come to it.

„Yeah, actually. This sure was a night, huh? I'll come home with you and help you with this little dildo.“

„Don't call my brother a dildo. Oh, I'm sorry, Heidi. As you can see we got a situation here because of someone.“ His glance fell on Kenny, practically making him feel guilty as if he really got Ike drunk even though he didn't. „But we can talk later if you want.“

„Of course, I'd love to get to know you!“ The girl smiled, looking as cheerful as if nothing ever happened. As if everything was completely fine. As if it was all in Eric's head. He hated it. Kenny disappeared off as quickly as he appeared, making sure that Butters disappeared along with him. He didn't really know why exactly, but this all gave him a terrible feeling.

 

[mysterion]: are you going to tell him

[coon]: it's gonna be awkward

[mysterion]: dude that chick is the one who pushed you further into the closet than you ever were before, i think he should know about that little detail of your past

[coon]: you're right

[coon]: i just

[coon]: i don't wanna make him jealous, idk, things are going super well right now

[mysterion]: he won't get as jealous as he will when he finds out from somebody else

[coon]: like who

[mysterion]: me

[coon]: you wouldn't dare

[mysterion]: try me, bitch

 

With a sigh, the fat boy tucked his phone back into his pocket. Taking a deep breath and trying to find a way on how to approach such a sensitive subject, but Kyle beat him to it.

„Was that your ex?“ Ike perked up, although he pretended to be asleep in Kyle's arms.

„I-- How did you know?“

„Because, stupid, she looked at you like you two had something together.“

„Wow. You can read people that well?“

„I can also read that she made you extremely uncomfortable. Why's that?“

„Well... when we were kids, Craig and his gang kind of smashed all my stuff and I was lonely so we found each other. Or more like, she found me. It was like a weird trip now that I think back on it. Kenny tells me I was going through some kind of psychosis during the time. She kind of... forced herself on me. We were dating for a while, I even thought I was straight when she showed me her pussy.“

„She showed you her what?“ Kyle's eyes widened and Ike nearly lost it trying to hold in the laughter. Who would have expected fat boy got pussy? Well, this certainly was weird.

„Yeah, thing is, she was really clingy and once I realized I didn't love her, I wanted to break it off, but whenever I tried to approach the subject... She just kind of gave me this weird look like 'no you won't' and I didn't. I was kind of scared of her. When she moved I finally managed to break up because I had an excuse and everything, but I never expected to see her again. I'm just kind of confused...“

„Hey...“ Kyle spoke softly, smiling up at his fiancé and giving him a kiss on the cheek to calm him down somewhat. „I'm glad you told me. Besides, don't worry. I won't get angry or jealous over her, I'm sure after such a long time she doesn't care and only wanted to see you because you were a big part of her life back then.“

„You think so?“

„Yeah. And if that bitch tries anything with my man, I'll handle her.“ Eric chuckled at that, giving Kyle a kiss of his own, the poor Canadian boy pressed between them and wanting to die in this situation.

„You can stop playing now, Ike. Kenny's broke, whatever money he promised you, he won' pay up.“

„WHAT?!“ The Canadian boy immediately shot up before a curious look was given to him by Kyle. Uh-oh, busted.

 

Little did they know, someone was listening in on their conversation.

 


	30. B.E. A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E.

Having arrived home, Kyle certainly didn't expect to be greeted by his mom still awake, looking dreamily at them and hugging her son once she saw that he did, in fact, say yes. Kyle gave her a weird look before looking up at his boyfriend who looked just as smug as ever. He did ask her beforehand after all.

„I see you finally quit being a pussy, son.“ Gerald made himself known, giving his own approval of this engagement. Eric was a pretty big gang leader, he was a good fit for Kyle.

„Gerald!“

„Daddy called you a pussy again!“ Ike jumped down, escaping into his room to finish his beloved gay ice skating anime. Kyle and Eric too, quietly made their way upstairs to escape the little argument that evolved in the living room. Eric had to wonder if their marriage would look like this too, Kyle did seem to take after his mother one hell of a lot. Still, there was something charming about him being this hotheaded and at the same time, motherly. Eric would be lying if he said he didn't find that very attractive.

 

„What a night.“

„What a start into the new year.“ Eric agreed and plopped down right beside his fiancé, turning his head to look into those captivating, green eyes.

„Honestly. Is there anything else I should know about your past?“

„Like what?“

„Like... I don't know, first kill? Or maybe the most gruesome one?“ Eric went a little quiet at that question, but he knew exactly what he should come out with right now.

„When I was 8, this older kid was bullying me and just generally fucking with me.“

„So you killed him?“

„No. I came up with this crazy plan where I lured his parents onto this ranch because I knew the guy living there shot anyone who sneaked on his property at night. So I got his parents killed, then I dragged off the bodies and ground them up into chili. The next day I fed it to him.“ Kyle's eyes widened, never expecting to hear such a gruesome story. It was quite surprising, but according to their standards, it only spoke volumes about how Eric was born into the life of a gang leader. The more insane, the more powerful. It's what everyone said.

„That gave me chills. What was the kid's name?“

„Scott Tenorman.“

„He still alive?“

„I'm not sure, the last I saw him, he was being dragged off into a mental hospital. I guess I drove him crazy.“

„I'm not surprised. But I thought you'd sound more happy talking about this, it does seem like your style and all.“

„Yeah, I was proud of it for a long time.“

„But?“

„But then I found out we had the same father.“

„Shit...“ Kyle whispered softly, adjusting himself so that Eric could lie his head on top of his chest while he stroked through his hair. It wasn't much, but comfort was all he could offer in a situation like this. He didn't cry, but the pain on his face was obvious. There were a few similar cases like this one, but all of the kids hated their dads. Eric didn't seem to. Well, how could he hate someone he never got to know?

„Shit happens.“ He murmured, cuddling into Kyle and clinging to the warmth his body gave off. God knew he needed it.

 

„Couture.“ Kyle whispered in a dramatic fashion, making a runway pose as he was dressed in some loose army pants, a warm, sweater-like crop top, some heavy steel boots, his fiancé's leather jacket, leather gloves and his favorite green hat to complete the gorgeous look that allowed him to show off his tummy tattoo. He didn't really get to show it to anyone at the party, especially since everyone was already drunk and a certain somebody had them go home early. Now, however, Kenny dropped back on the bed in laughter. Partially from how serious Kyle made his new outfit look, but also from the pale, shocked face Stan was wearing.

„You've gone completely crazy.“ Finally he commented his opinion on the tattoo.

„Aw, come on! I think it's cute.“ Kenny added his two cents in before they were interrupted by Kyle's little brother, who only took a second to look at the ink and immediately turned around to walk off, muttering something along the lines of 'I'm going to kill myself'.

„Come on, doesn't it suit me?“

„Hell yeah, it goes perfectly with your SLUT collar, it just screams high-end fashion.“

„See, Stan? You're just uptight. Like always.“

„I'm going to take my right as an American citizen and remain silent on this one.“

„Pussy. So anyway, Kenny. Did you find out if Heidi was going to be re-joining the cheerleading team?“

„I love you jealousy, mama Kyle. It's hot.“ Kyle purred at that, loving the opportunity it gave him. „Yes, in fact. She's gonna be back. Why did you need to know this?“

„Well, as you know, I'm the leader of South Park's girl gang.“

„Yes?“

„Becoming the head cheerleader was easy.“

„Holy shit.“ Stan muttered, having to hide his own grin. This was far too amusing even for him. Kyle was really going out of his way to keep an eye on Heidi.

„You really intend on making sure she doesn't act up, huh?“

„Well, I really don't think she's gonna be acting up in the first place, but better safe than sorry, right? My girls did say that she was kind of two-faced in the past. I do believe she could have changed though. I wanna be positive, she might turn out to be a friend in the end. And if not, well, then bye-bye, cunt.“

„Sexy and manipulative. True wife material for my best friend. You know, I had a bad feeling at first, but I think you're right. This might just be a little game in the end.“

„Well, if you two are done being evil masterminds, we should really get to school.“ Stan finally got up, making his way downstairs, Kyle catching up to him pretty fast and joining him by his side.

„Kyle?“

„Yeah?“

„You know to never underestimate anyone, right?“

„Yeah. Don't worry about that. If anything were to fuck up, I still got you covering my back, right?“

„Definitely.“

 

As for Eric, he didn't exactly feel... as safe. Or he didn't feel like this was just a game like Kenny said. Something was off, something about the way Heidi looked at him felt wrong. Disgusting. Repulsing. With a sigh, he decided that it must have been just his memories talking. He didn't have fond memories of her, but in the end it wasn't exactly her fault, was it? He was the one who allowed her into his life after all. At least that's what he kept trying to tell himself. For the first time in ages, he even appeared at football practice, needing to get the edge off somehow. Besides, when he heard Kyle wasn't free after school, it only got him grumpier. What could he be doing after school that was so important? Better to stay alongside that hippie fuck, at least until he could be sure everything was really okay.

„What the fuck...“ He muttered to himself when he saw none other than Heidi walk out in a cheerleading uniform along with all the other girls. They made eye contact then and the girl smiled so sweetly that it made Eric sick to the stomach. At this point, he was in panic mode. He did want to find some way to escape this situation, but it was still better to stay near Stan. That's what his instincts told him. Besides, it was common fucking sense to stay with someone you know whenever you feel like you're in danger. The girl didn't even give him any reason to be scared, but he still was. He couldn't deny how much that relationship affected him, even after all these years seeing her face again brought back those unwanted, unsure feelings about his own identity. He hated how it made him feel. But then...

„Holy fuck, hippie, did you know about this?“ Stan looked up and looked towards the cheerleaders before nodding.

„Yep. Told me this morning. You'd be surprised just how far Kyle is capable of going when someone is important to him.“ Eric was speechless. Finally, he felt calmness overtake him and crush his anxiety just like that.

 

„Hi, girls!“ Heidi greeted them with a big smile and they welcomed her back with the same smiles. On the surface it didn't show, but there was no way any of them forgot about how Heidi acted in the past. They might have forgiven her, but with Kyle as their leader, they knew where their loyalty belonged.

„Welcome back, Heidi.“ Wendy smiled, looking up from the bleachers, completely calm.

„Thank you. I see you're still team Captain after all these years.“

„Ah, actually, there were some changes. I'm not anymore.“

„Who is it then? Bebe?“ Bebe shook her head no before her eyes fell on the cute redhead walking in, skirt and crop top fitting him perfectly and showing off the tattoo of Eric's name to Heidi in a very bold way.

„I am.“ Heidi's shock lasted only a second, but it was due to the tattoo rather than Kyle's position. Still, she gave him the same, friendly smile as she did to everyone else.

 


	31. Baby, I'm a gangsta too

„Kyle, can we talk?“ Heidi interrupted the boy while he was changing into his casual outfit. Well, as casual as you want to consider it. He did tend to go a little over the top sometimes. Still, he looked up at her and nodded, letting her lead him away into a more private area of the locker room, so they could talk without anyone listening in on them.

„What's up, Heidi?“

„Look, I know that there's this sort of tension between us and I get it. The big bad ex comes back for her revenge, right?“

„Shit, you saw right through me.“ At which Heidi giggled, now leaning into one of the lockers herself, trying to find the right words to approach this problem.

„The thing is, that's in the past. We were just kids and I didn't know better. I get that I really fucked Eric up and I'm sorry for that, but all of us deserve a second chance. I don't want for us to have this weird tension forever. In the end, it's up to Eric who he chooses to be with.“ Kyle sat down then, really feeling his worries fall off. She actually was mature, huh? Now he felt stupid for worrying so much.

„No, you're absolutely right.“

„I'm glad we understand each other.“

„Also, I'm sorry I kind of... acted really petty. It was really immature of me, I should have been more secure with my relationship to begin with.“

„Hey, I don't blame you. You don't know me and you don't want some unknown girl to meddle with your relationship. I would have probably done the same, to be honest.“

„You know what, Heidi? I like you.“

„Really?“ The girl perked up, her eyes sparkling.

„Care for a smoke?“ Kyle pulled out a nicely rolled up blunt, watching her fall down on the bench right beside him.

„Hell yeah.“ Who would have thought that one day he'd end up smoking weed in the locker room with his fiancé's ex, wearing nothing but underwear and cheerleader skirts? Sometimes, life was funny like that.

 

And on the inside, both of them knew it was just the calm before the storm.

 

Finally changed, a little high and most importantly, outside, Kyle made his way towards Eric, giving him a big hug and taking hold of his arm.

„You look tired.“

„Yeah, well, I don't usually do this... sports, everyone talks about.“

„Boo-hoo. Anyway, I talked to Heidi.“

„And?“

„And she seems like a genuinely nice person. I have to agree with Butters on this one, it's probably all just in your head, you know? Like, she kinda fucked you up, but back then you were kids. It stuck with you. She couldn't have known what consequences it'd have.“ Eric sighed, looking away, but nodding. Kyle was probably right. Wasn't he always? Eric did decide to trust Kyle's judgement and maybe he should trust him on this one too. This whole paranoia thing was making him sick too, he just wanted to get it over with,especially if the danger he felt really was nothing but an illusion.

„I... I guess you're right.“

„See? I'm always right.“ Kyle patted Eric's back and rubbed comforting circles, giving him the courage he seems to have lost ever since he first saw Heidi waltz back into this town.

„Yeah, yeah. You were right, I was wrong. Fucking Jew.“

„Does that mean you will listen to my every word from now on?“

„Dream on, Jew.“

„Damn. Maybe one day.“

„Why is she coming towards us?“ Eric whispered and Kyle grinned, waving at Heidi who took a little longer to change and was now approaching them as if she wasn't a walking trigger warning for a certain fat boy.

„Because I thought if you talked to her alone, you might find inner peace.“

„Kyle!“

„You know what they say, confront your fears.“

„Kyle!“

„Listen to what I say!“ Kyle defended his argument with nothing but a scary look, scolding him back like he was already his wife, keeping him in line. Well, it was effective to say the least, since Eric grumpily shut up.

„Hey, Eric, I already talked to Kyle so I wondered if we could have a chat too. To clear up some things, you know?“ The fat boy still seemed to be suspicious of her, but with Kyle elbowing his side, he didn't really have any other choice than just go along with this. Convincing himself that Kyle was right, he agreed.

„Yeah, okay.“

„Alright, I'll see you later at my house, dear.“ Kyle got up on his tip toes to give Eric a nice, calming kiss and one of those 'it's gonna be okay' smiles that always warmed his heart up. He felt much more confident after staring into those green eyes full of energy and life. Fuck, he was always so starstruck whenever he looked at him.

 

Bidding his goodbye in a sad tone, Eric started walking alongside Heidi, still not really trusting her, but feeling much calmer after Kyle reassured him everything would be okay.

„So,“ Heidi started. „what's up with you being gay now?“ Her tone completely changed and it was noticeable.

„What do you mean by 'now'? I've always been gay.“

„I think you're just confused.“

„What the fuck are you talking about? If you're just here to piss me off, I'm going--“

„Try to leave and I can end your little boyfriend's life with one phone call.“

„Sure you can.“

„Have you ever wondered who skankhunt42 really was?“

„...What?“ Eric's expression froze up, his eyes falling on Heidi. It was as if the whole world stopped in that one second. Why was she bringing such an old matter up now? But looking at her, she looked completely confident, as if everything fell right into the palm of her hand.

„I think you and I need to have a little talk about this. Come on.“ There was no way he could just run away from this, she had him exactly where she wanted. With a heavy heart, Eric could only look back on the other side of the road, watching Kyle's figure disappear from sight. Just like his sense of security did.

 

Sitting down, they were completely alone. Just fucking peachy. There was not even anyone like Kenny or Butters Eric could reach out to right now. Maybe it was better that way though, what did she mean by skankhunt42?

„Care to explain now?“

„Sure. I found out who skankhunt42 is.“

„Who is it?“

„Your little boyfriend's dad.“ Eric just kind of stared ahead, trying to hold back his laughter and failing miserably.

„So an old, bored Jew trolled us all. Big fucking whoop.“

„I wouldn't be laughing if I was you. The only reason this information didn't come out was because Kyle protected his identity. He launched the attack on trolltrace. Pretty impressive if you ask me.“

„Cut the shit already and get to the blackmailing part, please.“

„If you insist. You know, there's still people out there who despise that troll. Kyle is a pretty famous gang leader too. What do you think would happen to him and his family should this information get leaked? I imagine it wouldn't be a nice sight. Some people might turn on him, some of the towns you own might start fighting back. Hell, I heard there's gangs still practicing public execution with the people that really deserve it. You think Kyle deserves it?“

„I think you deserve it.“

„Cute. But you'll get back to listening to me real fast. Either you leave that faggot or I ruin his life. And trust me, I won't fucking hesitate.“ The way her voice sounded sent chills down Eric's spine. She sounded so sure, so confident, so fucking... evil. There was no doubt in his mind that she was telling the truth and had all the resources to go through with this shit. Just when things were going well for them.

„Fuck.“

„Right on, baby.“

 


	32. Never felt pain quite like this

„But Kyle, this seems very dangerous.“

„Butters, as I was saying--“ Their conversation was cut short then, their eyes falling on Kyle's ringing phone. Both exchanged silent looks before Kyle decided to pick it up. He took a deep breath and put on his bravest face in front of Butters. Butters seemed very concerned about Heidi too, he was after all the one who watched their relationship develop closer than anybody else and was also the one to make Eric snap back to reality.

 

„Hey, hun.“ Kyle smiled more so to himself, thrown off when he heard just how insecure and pained Eric's voice sounded. Still, Kyle let him talk.

„Kyle, I uh... There's something I need to tell you.“

„What is it?“

„Man, I should be telling you this face to face, but I'm kinda scared of you flipping out.“ Lies, he was already crying. When it came down to it, Eric was a good actor, but right now his voice couldn't match his face. All he could think of was how unfair this all felt. How he got it all and suddenly lost it too.

„Whatever it is, tell me. You know we will get through anything together.“ Eric nodded at that, his tears still falling down his face. Not even the fact that he was in Heidi's room with a gun pressed to his head felt as wrong as this phone call. In the end, all he could do right now was go along with it and find some way out of this mess on his own. The question was, would Kyle ever forgive him for this?

„I don't love you the way I thought I did.“ I love you so much more.

„Oh?“ Kyle's voice was much quieter now, as if drained from any energy it had. He knew where this was going.

„When Heidi came back... I realized why I was so hung up on my past. I... I missed her, Kyle.“ It felt wrong. He didn't miss her, but he was already missing Kyle.

„Get to the point already.“ The longer it went on, the more it hurt. He knew how this was going to end, knew it was ending right now. His heart couldn't possibly take more of this, neither could Eric's.

„I'm choosing her over you, Kyle.“ Saying his name, Eric stuttered, immediately ending the call and falling to his knees in a panic attack. He couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop his breakdown. This hurt more than anything he ever felt in his life. Finally he had someone he loved and he fucked it all up yet again. Sadly, Heidi wasn't nearly sympathetic enough to let this go, instead she hugged him as a way to offer comfort, but it only felt wrong. Everything about her felt so wrong.

 

Kyle kind of just stared ahead, frozen. His blank expression made Butters worry, he hadn't moved an inch ever since he heard those words. 'I'm choosing her over you' echoed in his mind on repeat.

„Kyle...?“ Butters asked, gently placing a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. It worked, but tears started falling down his cheeks and now his hands were shaking that he got out of the shock. It wasn't a pretty sight.

„I need Stan...“ Kyle muttered, not knowing where else to turn with his first heartbreak other than his best friend.

„I'll call him.“ Thank Moses for Butters, if he was here alone, he probably would have stayed in shock for the rest of the day. All he could feel was the immense pain in his chest, it felt like his heart really was physically breaking.

 

He was losing him. Just like that.

 

Kyle didn't go to school the next day, or the next, or the next. Ever since Stan came running, Kyle clung to him like a child. It might have been because he felt much safer with Stan around, or maybe he just needed another person he loved with his whole heart to be there with him while it hurt so much. He wasn't prepared for the things Eric said, he wasn't prepared for them to hit him so hard even though he suspected what was going on ever since he noticed the tone of his voice. Excuse him for not getting angry or snapping or flipping out, he has never gone through a heartbreak before and feeling it now for the first time after getting engaged and wearing his love's name on his skin... it was too much. Some things were overwhelming even for people as strong and powerful as him. Right now all he could do was cuddle to his best friend in bed as he stroked through his hair.

„Thank you for being there for me.“

„Anytime. I love you, man.“

„I love you too.“ His voice was hoarse from all the crying, but even that was okay. Stan was the only person who Kyle showed his weakness to. There was this undeniable amount of trust between them, anything could go down and they would be in each others arms in seconds. He loved Stan as much as he loved Eric, but his love towards Stan was a different kind of love. Same intensity, but different. It was inexplainable.

 

For the next few days, going to school wasn't a pretty sight. It was like Eric was right back in the closet and going through another psychosis. In fact, his eyes looked so tired that it wouldn't be a surprise if he went through another breakdown. He hadn't had one of these in years, so it was a surprise he was still able to even hear real people's voice rather than only the ones inside his head. Everyone at school was shocked, seeing him walking around and holding that girl's hand. She seemed happy, but he couldn't fake happiness if he tried. As for Kenny, he spent the last few days missing school, making sure Kyle was okay. To his surprise, it wasn't like anything he ever expected.

 

With a determined look, Kenny took down his hood and stomped towards his best friend.

„Time for payback, fat piece of shit.“ Looking at his face, Eric knew what was coming before they even crossed paths, so he just clenched his teeth and took the punch like a man, falling to the ground with Kenny right on top of him, punching the living shit out of him in the hopes of him maybe coming back to his fucking senses. Just then, Kenny felt Eric slip a piece of paper inside his pocket. This is what they always agreed on, way before anything like this was a possible threat. They talked about many things when they were kids and this was one of them. Should either of them start acting out of character, get into a fist fight. Not fighting back means there's something wrong. The note only confirmed it. Kenny got up without a word then, kicking Eric's stomach for good measure and angrily walking off.

 

It sure caused a nice scene and even Heidi seemed to believe that Kenny really just snapped. It wouldn't be the first time someone snapped like this when it came to Eric. Shit, but that poor fuck really wasn't holding back the punches. Kyle must have been in a lot of pain if that was the case. But hell, he was in pain too.

Once he was in the clear, he looked at the little, crumbled up note.

_'diese bitch erpresst mich'_

Write it in German just for good measure, huh? Fuck, he knew blackmailing was involved. But what type of shit could make Eric act this way? It's not like there was anything on him, his reputation was already way in the shitter before any of this started. He would have to talk to Kyle, but he wasn't sure if it was the right time just yet.


	33. I don't care which one of us dies today

Grey. That's all he saw. The world looked so sad and drained of color whenever he woke up these past few days. Everything came to a standstill ever since that phone call. He could still hear those words in his head as clear as water. How did it come to this? How did he go from one day being asked to marry the love of his life, then hearing him say he chooses someone else over him? It didn't make sense. No amount of thinking could really bring him to a conclusion, all it did was just give him a headache. Getting up from the comforting warmth of his best friend's arms in his best, he stepped into the cold and walked over into the bathroom, taking a good, hard look at his reflection. He looked tired, sickly even. He didn't even really recognize his own reflection at first, it was the face of a broken man. Kyle never looked like this before. He never felt so much love before either, it was only a matter of time before he broke. Wasn't this what Stan was concerned about in the beginning? Maybe he was right. Maybe he should have listened to--

 

His phone lit up, signaling a few missed calls and text messages.

 

His eyes lit up, thinking it was Eric with some sort of explanation, but when he saw it was Heidi's number, his eyes saddened before he frowned, his face contorting into a dark glare. She might have tried to be his friend, she might have been nice... but wasn't it her fault? If she never came back... These thoughts flooded his mind as he started down onto his engagement ring. He never took it off, he was too stubborn. Too much in love.

 

So he called back.

 

„Kyle?“

„Hey, Heidi. I just woke up, why were you calling?“

„Well, you weren't in school for the past week and I was worried about you.“

„You were?“

„Of course! I know what happened is all... fucked up and if I knew things would end up this way, I'd have kept my distance. I consider you a friend, Kyle. I really don't want to see you locking yourself away.“

„Thank you, I just needed a few days to process... everything.“

„Yeah, I was shocked myself and I promise I wanted him to think it over, but he didn't listen.“ At which Kyle chuckled weakly.

„Yeah, sounds like him. Stubborn asshole.“

„How about you come over? I wanna make sure you're okay. Help you anyway I can.“

„I... Okay. I'll be over in a bit.“

„Alright. See you.“

„See ya.“

 

The redhead looked up at his reflection once again, seeing the hint of anger, hatred, resentment covering his face. He wasn't nearly as angry as he looked. In fact, he was empty. Numb. He didn't know what he felt or even how to feel. Everything was so confusing, but not even tears could come out anymore. For the past week he cried a lifetime's worth, it was like he used up all the resources he had. Well, fuck. One thing he knew for sure. If it wasn't for her, this wouldn't have happened. Kyle had a weak spot for people who acted nice towards him, that was for sure. But this girl was... different. Something about her was weird, at least that's what he felt. Something about her whole being felt incredibly wrong, but it might have just been the jealousy talking. Whatever, his man tossed him aside, why should he give a fuck about his feelings any longer? He chooses Heidi over him? Fine. It'll be a short lived choice. Kyle didn't exactly know whether he was really going to kill Heidi or if he was capable of doing so should she continue being so nice, but if it came down to it, he was capable of ending her with his bare hands. Right?

 

Usually, this was the time where he would spill all his thoughts to Stan and ask him for help, but not today. When Ike spotted his big brother heading out in such silence, it was concerning.

„Kyle? Where are you going?“ The boy just turned around, messing up Ike's hair and giving him a weak smile.

„I have to take care of a certain person. Be good and stay put, alright?“ With nothing else, he walked out the door. No weapons, no backup, nothing. It was as if Kyle wa nothing but a walking corpse, he couldn't even think rationally.

„Kyle...?“ Ike muttered, pretty concerned, but he shook it off. Kyle probably just needed some fresh air and time to think about things alone. The only thing that concerned him was... was Kyle going to attack Cartman? With a bitter taste left after that thought, Ike decided that Cartman deserved whatever came to him after what happened.

 

Kenny thought long and hard about how to resolve this situation, but everything was so blurry and messy, they didn't even know where to begin with Heidi and he didn't really want to risk anything. She seemed more dangerous than ever if Eric was going along with her sick schemes. After all, that fat shit usually wasn't one for playing along other people's plans, but this time something big must have been at stake. Whatever happened, having Kyle snap would be the worst course of action. Which is why he decided he wanted to talk about this with Stan first. Stan was the closest to Kyle and took care of him this entire time, hearing his opinion on this would be the safest option.

 

So when he climbed up into Kyle's window and expected to see Kyle lying safely beside Stan, he got kind of confused at first, aggressively banging on the window and waking Stan up, who through half lidded eyes, stumbled to open it for Kenny to get in.

„Dude, where's Kyle?“

„Kyle? Kyle, where are you?“ Stan yawned, looking over at the empty bed just as confused before waltzing into the bathroom, then living room and kitchen, calling out for him, the fear of not finding him only waking him up back to reality.

„Where the fuck is Kyle?!“ Stan finally turned around fully awake, expecting to hear an answer from Kenny, who was just as confused.

„That's what I wanna know! Maybe he just went out for a walk?“

„No, he would have at least left me a note if that were the case, he knows I'd worry sick about him.“

„Maybe... maybe he just wanted to fuck with you?“ Kenny was clinging to the last piece of hope here, frown in place.

„Shit... what if he's planning on doing something stupid?“

„Like what? Suicide?“

„Don't even joke about that one. Shit.“

„Stan, calm down. Kyle isn't the type of person to do something so drastic. Breathe. We have to think logically here. Where could he have gone without telling us?“ Just then, the little Canadian boy walked down, getting wind of what the conversation was about.

„You're looking for Kyle? He said he was going to take care of some person.“ Stan and Kenny both just kind of stared ahead.

„He's attacking Cartman?“ Stan was the first to speak up and Ike kind of just shrugged.

„That's what I thought, but he was acting really weird. He didn't even bring any weapons with him.“ Now that was concerning.

„Shit...“ Kenny slowly realized what was going on.

„What?“

„Shit, shit, shit!“

„Kenny, what the fuck?!“

„I just passed that fat shit's house! If Kyle was there, he would have found a way to tell me!“

„Who is he taking care of then?“

„It... It might be Heidi.“

„So? Let him kill the bitch.“ Ike voiced his opinion, feeling less scared at the thought of his big brother fighting some girl.

„You don't understand,“ Kenny started carefully, taking out Eric's note from his pocket and showing it to Stan. „Heidi is extremely dangerous...“

„Shit...“

„Exactly.“

„Shit, shit, shit!“

„I know! If she has Eric of all people acting this way, what do you think she could do to Kyle?!“

„We need to find them!“

„You break into Heidi's house, I'll get a hold of Butters. Kyle might need medical help.“

„Yeah... Yeah, I'm going!“ As if they had to race against time, the boys ran in different directions, praying to God that whatever was going down right now wasn't going to end with Kyle hurt.

 

„Hey, Kyle. Welcome. Please, take a seat.“

„Hey, Heidi.“ Both of them kind of just stared into each others eyes, acknowledging their respective positions in this mess. Heidi knew she took Kyle's man and she also knew he didn't like that. Really, who would?

 

Kyle, however, didn't know what Heidi was capable of.

 


	34. We don't stick together cuz we put our love first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to say that i, myself, am shook

„Hey, Heidi.“ Kyle stepped in, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the counter in the kitchen. It was kind of weird, or maybe awkward to sit here like this with someone... someone like her. They were both painfully aware of the tension in the air, which is why Heidi decided to break it first, seeing as how Kyle didn't seem to be capable of many words at this moment, at least not when it came to small chit-chat and pretending everything was okay.

„So...“

„So you wanna talk about how you broke my engagement?“

„Kyle...“

„No, it's alright. I mean, you said you didn't have anything to do with it, right?“

„Right.“

„It's my fault. I should have known I meant nothing to that bastard...“ Maybe if he still had tears left, he would have cried after saying that out loud. He's been thinking it, but saying it so openly hurt a lot. Admitting it hurt.

„All I can offer right now is comfort. I know it'll hurt a lot for a really long time, I experienced that too. Over the same guy, so I guess we have something in common here.“ Both exchanged small smiles, as if having something like this in common was a small victory for their friendship.

„Are you still in love with him?“ Kyle finally asked, wanting to know the answer to the question he was wondering about for the past week. Kenny refused to tell him what was going on, so he might as well confirm his worries from the source directly.

„Yes.“

„Are you back with him?“

„Yes.“ Kyle slowly closing his eyes, taking a shaky breath and trying his best to keep his composure. He knew this. He expected this. And yet, he didn't know how to feel. To be completely honest, he didn't really feel anything anymore. It was like he was stuck between anger and exhaustion. He knew he should probably flip, but at the same time he was too tired to. Kyle came here with the intention of harming Heidi, but the more she talked, the more tired he was of everything. This was one big mistake. He wants to go home. Back to Jersey, where everyone was scared of him and they kept their distance. Nothing could hurt him then.

„I'm sorry...“ Kyle choked up, not even knowing why he was apologizing. Shouldn't she be the one saying sorry in this kind of situation?

„Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. You have every right to hate me and every right to be angry. I don't expect you to forgive me. I only wanted to make it clear that I don't hate you and I'm honestly sorry that both of us ended up in this mess.“ The girl's hands felt so gentle as she cupped his cheeks, making sure he wasn't going to stain them with more tears. He didn't have the energy to fight back, in fact he welcomed the touch. In a situation like this, it's only natural to crave affection.

„I won't forgive him.“

„I know.“ Just then, they were interrupted by the kettle signaling the water was boiling. The girl turned away then, grabbing some cups and filling them, then adding some tea packets. Kyle kind of just stared down onto the counter, feeling a little better. His mom did always say that he should be confronting his problems instead of running away from them. Though she probably didn't think her son would ever end up in a mess like this. Everything was so fucked, he just felt like laughing the more he thought about it.

 

„Here you go.“ The girl handed him the cup after adding some cold water to it so it would be cool enough to drink faster. She took a sip from her own cup, watching him do the same.

„Thank you.“

„You know, Kyle...

„Yes?“

„It's kind of annoying how he keeps talking about you.“ Kyle stopped then, looking up at Heidi and not understanding what was going on.

„What?“

„Yeah. I guess just taking someone isn't enough. You have to fully get rid of the competition and replace them. Too bad you didn't think of that first, right?“ Finally, the dark look she kept hidden away for so long made itself known to Kyle and slowly he realized, his eyes widened as he looked down on the cup, feeling his muscles start to hurt unnaturally.

„You fucking poisoned me?“

„Classy, right? Great men tend to be taken out in the most unexpected ways. Kyley-B, one of the fastest growing gang leaders in the United States, died of Strychnine poisoning – that's quite the headline if you ask me.“ Even if he wanted to choke her out now and bring her down with him, he couldn't, the muscle spasms were already setting in, causing him immense pain.

„You're a cunt...“

„You're dead. Well, in 2-3 hours. Now come on, I'm going to replace you. You won't be needing this anymore.“ Kyle only growled, feeling the hatred burning inside him, or maybe it was the upcoming fever, but when she took his engagement ring and his clothes, putting them on herself, he couldn't do anything other than watch in resentment from his surprisingly comfortable kitchen chair. This was fucking sick. He could only imagine what was going through her head when she decided to dress up like him. Hat and everything.

„How do I look?“

„L-Like a two faced bitch. Also psycho.“ His voice was shaking already, but that wouldn't stop him from cursing her out until his last breath. At least in his last moments he was capable of smirking again.

„Well, psycho bitches seem to be Eric's type, so I'm gonna go pay him a visit. You have fun dying.“

„If anyone finds out you killed me, you'll be hunted down.“

„Nobody will. Any last words before I leave you to it?“

„Yeah,“ Kyle moved up his arm with all of the remaining strength he had, just to hold up his middle finger in her face. „I hope you get uterine cancer, bitch.“ Both of them exchanged smiles, sharing one of their moments even in this situation.

 

Quite frankly, Kyle admired her for driving him into this broken state and finishing him of this smoothly. Heidi in return admired Kyle's fire and refusal to be humiliated even while knowing he was going to die.

 

„Butters!“

„Kenny? What are you doing here?“ Butters' eyes widened in panic just from seeing the blonde boy running towards him with his hood down, panting and shaking him to get what was going down through to his head.

„Butters, listen carefully! I need you to gather together every single medical supply you can find and when I say every single one I mean every single one, you got it?! Anything, whether it's for wounds or poisoning or any crazy shit like that. Everything!“

„O-Okay!“

„Meet us at Heidi's house, if anything changes I'll call you!“

„I got it!“ Poor Butters was left in shock for a second, but immediately ran back into his house, doing exactly what Kenny told him. His anxiety levels were extremely high, what in the devil's name was going on?!

 

„Kenny!“ Stan's voice came from the phone, sounding even more panicked than they already were.

„Did you find him?“ Kenny asked, running in the direction of Heidi's house and only hearing the sound of glass breaking alongside a pained groan, Stan probably cut himself jumping inside the broken window.

„I saw Heidi leaving the house a while ago, she was wearing-- Oh my god...“ Stan's voice trembled in that second, freezing up completely when he looked down only to see Kyle on the floor, completely out of it and suffering what seemed to be extreme spasms while uncontrollably arching his neck and back, tears streaming down his face from the pain. Stan didn't even know whether Kyle knew what was going on around him.

„Stan?“

„He's fucking dying!“

„What's going on over there?!“

„I don't know... he... he's just fucking twitching on the ground.“

„Look around, do you see anything like a poison around?“ Stan got up in panic, going through cupboards and every single shelf he could find, messing up the place in order to find what he needed as fast as possible. Bingo.

„Strychnine.“

„I'll be there in a minute!“ Kenny hung up, calling Butters, who immediately picked up and was almost ready to cry from the whole mess that was going on.

„Y-Yes?!“

„It's Strychnine poisoning!“

„Oh, hamburgers!“ And he hung up again as Butters regained concentration and instead of packing everything, only packed everything he needed to treat this. They should go to a hospital, but it was too far away and it'd be quicker to do this first before driving him to the hospital to make sure he stays stable.

 

Eric sighed as he heard knocking from the other side of his bedroom, recognizing the disgustingly girlish voice as the one who caused him every single problem he had right now.

„Ugh...“ He muttered, burying his face deeper into the stupid comic he already read 50 times today before it was ripped from his hands and replaced with a sight that caused his chest to tighten painfully.

„Is that how you greet your fiancé?“

 


	35. Pacify her

„Is that how you greet your fiancé?“ As if on reflex, Eric pulled out his gun, aiming it directly at Heidi, his look contorted into something that could only be described as pure horror and fear. What the fuck was going on?! Those were Kyle's clothes! And... was that his engagement ring too? Eric's mind was racing at this point, trying to figure out any explanation that would mean Kyle was in fact not dead. He knew he could just ask, but would she say the truth? Was this some sort of trick? He was scared to know. Kenny was supposed to keep everything on the down low until they figured out how to go about this situation. This was completely outside of whatever they expected would fucking happen.

„Why are you wearing his clothes?“

„My clothes now.“ Surprisingly enough, Heidi was absolutely calm, despite the gun aimed at her. Even with Kyle dead, she could still ruin his family and she knew not even Eric was immoral enough to let that happen. He knew Kyle loved his family, especially his little brother. If he allowed for something bad to happen to him, he would surely come back to haunt him.

„What did you do to him?“

„Killed him, what else?“

„I...“ Fuck, now he was feeling sick to his stomach. This was fucking insane. He should have acted faster, they should have killed Heidi first and worried about the consequences later. Maybe they'd have had a better chance fighting back the country rather than letting Heidi kill Kyle in secret.

„Nothing you can do about it now, babe.“

„I need to see him.“ His head was practically spinning as he gathered himself up and rushed towards the door, but suddenly, he was stopped by someone else standing in his way. Grinning at him in the most vile way he could ever imagine.

„I wouldn't recommend that...“ The man hissed quietly, Eric's eyes widening and suddenly, everything made sense.

„Oh.“ He whispered, unable to form coherent words.

 

Through hazy eyes, Kyle made out what looked like to be a table in a darkened room. He squirmed around, feeling really fucking sore and a bit high. He recognized a bunch of really strong pain killers on the table, along with activated charcoal and some medicine he has never seen before. It was disorienting, but he recognized the voices coming from another room. Stan and Kenny. Looking towards the armchair, Butters was passed out. Of course they dragged Butters in to save his stupid ass, poor guy must have passed out due to all the anxiety he was probably experiencing. Kyle decided to focus on the voices for a bit.

„...we have to get rid of her!“

„Stan, she has some fucking blackmail material and if we're not careful, who knows what she could do?“

„What else do we do then? Shit's gonna go down the second she comes back and realizes Kyle's not dead! What do we do then, huh? Say 'sorry, I didn't want my best friend dying today, hope you don't mind'?“

„I mean... maybe?“

„Christ's sake, Kenny.“

 

Blackmail? So the bitch had something on Eric? Kyle's eyes drifted around the room, landing on her laptop. Why didn't Kenny tell him this sooner? Could have fucking avoided the trouble. Well, maybe not. Knowing himself, he would lose his mind anyway. With pained grunts, Kyle carefully made his way towards the laptop, turning it on and hacking into it with ease. He did have a history with hacking ever since he was a kid, so getting into Heidi's messages was a piece of cake. Sometimes even Stan forgot he wasn't all just brute force. Let's see...

 

[H.T.]: So this means I'll get Eric all to myself?

[S.T.]: Yeah, I don't care. All I want is to see him suffer and if it means breaking him up with his boyfriend and then killing him to top it off, then so be it. I want to see him lose his mind. Payback's a bitch.

[H.T.]: Perfect! He does deserve to suffer a little bit for ignoring me for 5 years and cheating on me with a guy of all things. Can I just ask, what exactly does that program contain?

[S.T.]: With only one press of a button, the truth about skankhunt42 will be revealed internationally, it'll be posted on every possible website and a video talking about it will be played on every TV channel.

[H.T.]: Sick. I like it.

[S.T.]: Now go do work.

[H.T.]: Yessir.

 

Ah, so that's what it was. Payback's a bitch indeed. With a smirk Kyle reached for his phone and connected it into the laptop, opening the program and doing some work of his own. She might have tried to kill him, but he would torture her. He would torture her good.

 

„I wouldn't recommend that, little brother.“

„Fuck you, Scott. I should have known this was all your doing, only you'd be this tasteless.“ His hands were shaking worse than before, he spoke with venom in his voice and the hatred he felt could burn holes through his chest.

„I wouldn't call it tasteless. So how does it feel? Are you heartbroken? Do you wanna cry? Let me taste your tears.“ Just then, the TV in the living room stopped whatever thing it was airing at the moment and suddenly all they could hear were two voices coming from it. Both way too familiar and way too weird to be heard in this situation.

 

„ _You only belong to me, right?“_

„ _Right.“_

„ _You're always gonna pick me, right?“_

„ _Right.“_

„ _You love me, right?“_

„ _More than anyone else.“_

„ _So I don't have to worry about you leaving me for Heidi?“_

„ _Pf, I wouldn't dream of it. You're everything I could ever hope for. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.“_

„ _Me too.“_

 

The little conversation caught all of them off guard, Heidi and Scott freezing up in shock and Eric's smile growing wider than the last time when he fucked Scott over. All that followed in the video were moans and the sound of skin slapping against each other. Kyle's moans were especially loud, it made him laugh. In this moment, he couldn't be happier that their sex tape leaked for the entire world to see.

„I'm going to take care of this.“ Heidi was the first one to rush out of the room, not believing what she heard and having to confirm it with her own two eyes. Yes, there it was. It really fucking was there, Kyle riding Eric as if he had any right. Still, she tried to remain calm, the program might have been hacked into, but that still didn't mean it was Kyle, right? Anyone could have done it. Anyone who had anything to do with Kyle's gang. Kyle was dead. She killed him. He only had a few hours to live and he wasn't physically able to call anyone for help. Maybe now she would be hunted down by his members, but... Her thoughts were interrupted when the video ended and a different scene played, this one showing Kyle's extremely tired face, looking at her with a victorious smirk, her own room in the background. It was a live recording.

„I'm coming for you, shiksa.“

 


	36. Maybe in another life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was brought to you by beyonce https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp6juOvnddk

„Kyle?“ Stan rushed back into the room after seeing what was plastered all over the internet, only to see Kyle in this sort of hazed state, sitting in front of the computer, seemingly lost in thought. Finally, he turned his head to look at his friends, but despite the calm exterior, the fire in his eyes spoke volumes. He was absolutely enraged, pissed the fuck off and the smile on his face only added to how much he actually snapped. Kyle was gone, the only thing he saw was revenge and he was going to enjoy this blood thirst as much as humanly possible. Wordlessly, he got up, grunting a little bit here and there due to the soreness, it even woke Butters up, who immediately panicked.

„Kyle, you shouldn't be up, we should get you to the hospital! We're still not sure you overcame the poisoning, it takes at the very least 6 hours--“

„Quiet.“ Kyle finally spoke, opening Heidi's closet and grabbing the first dress he saw. Dressing up in pants and shirts would take way more effort, especially in his state. Still, he didn't want to step out half naked despite the whole world just having seen him, one of the fastest growing and famous new gang leaders, naked and riding his boyfriend's dick. All of the boys kind of just stared at him, not knowing what to say. He wasn't acting like his usual self and his rage was filling up the air, bringing a certain feeling of tension.

„What do you want us to do, Kyle?“ Kenny finally asked, being the first and only one to acknowledge that there was no stopping him from doing what he was going to do to Heidi. Kyle turned around, the long, yellow dress falling down to the floor, all covered in frills and hanging off his shoulders beautifully. It was backless and despite the deep V-neck over Kyle's flat chest, it suited him perfectly. Kenny had to admit, he would probably wear it as Princess Kenny, but he didn't think that Kyle cared too much about what he was wearing right now, considering everything.

„Call my girls to surround the town and tell Ike to bring me my bat.“ Kyle looked over at Stan, who instead of saying anything against, just nodded. This was no time for defiance and everyone realized it.

„You got it.“

„Oh, and Kenny?“

„Yeah?“

„Blow up this place. She won't be coming back.“

„Shit, okay.“ The boys just watched in silence as Kyle stepped out of the house, watching him go and feeling a sense of dread. There was no stopping him this time. So much for waiting until the right time so Kyle wouldn't get reckless, huh? But somehow, they weren't worried about his safety this time.

 

„Not really according to plan. Right, Scott?“ The smug look was obvious as both of them were aiming guns at each other, just watching each other carefully. Fingers on triggers, ready to shoot any second now.

„I'm going to take care of this!“ Heidi shouted from the living room and stomped outside, leaving the two half-brothers in their little conflict alone.

„You're not gonna stop her? Aren't you worried she will finish off your little boyfriend?“ Scott asked, trying to find any sign of fear on Eric's face, there was none.

„No, Kyle can handle himself. He doesn't need a bodyguard.“ At which Scott laughed, remembering just how well everything played out for them up until now. Sure, Kyle was manipulated emotionally into being caught off guard like this in the first place, but it was still a sign of weakness in Scott's eyes.

„Maybe if you kept him on a tighter leash, he wouldn't have acted this stupid in the first place.“

„You have it wrong, I don't control him.“ Finally, he decided to quickly pull the trigger while Scott was distracted by their conversation, but when he saw him still standing, he shot the gun again and again, confused by why nothing hit Scott yet.

„I told Heidi to replace you bullets with broken ones. Goodnight, little brother.“ Scott shot in return, hitting Eric with a sleep dart right in the neck. Eric just stared ahead, not believing how he could have overlooked something like that. Maybe he was thinking too much these past few days, trying to find a solution to the problem and ignoring what was happening around him. His vision went blurry then before he fell to the ground with a thud.

„I would have killed you if I didn't enjoy seeing you in pain so much, little brother.“

 

To anyone who was around, seeing Kyle out on the street, walking around with a smile on after what happened just a while ago with his video and his threat, must have felt surreal and very confusing. Being informed of surrounding the town, his girls at least understood one part; Kyle was out to get Heidi. In all honesty, they wondered when Heidi would drop the facade and when Kyle would snap, it took a little longer than expected, but right now everyone was too scared to speak as they watched Kyle stroll down the street.

„Brother?“ Ike asked, holding Kyle's bat and feeling even more confused as to what went down at Heidi's place for him to just take the bat and happily smash a random car's window, continuing to skip in his pace. Some of the girls who happened to see just stared in shock and awe at how Kyle was acting, but it was honestly quite amusing. They could only imagine what Heidi was in for.

 

The redhead continued, his curls falling into his eyes with each skippy step, taking the time to destroy anything breakable in his way, feeling his blood race with excitement and energy. The more he destroyed, the better he felt. Tweek and Craig could only stare with their mouths wide open as Kyle passed the coffee shop and smashed the big window with his bat, glass just shattering and falling to the ground in an unreal fashion. Still, Kyle went on without even giving Craig and Tweek a glance, it was like he saw nothing but red, he only saw his prey ahead of him. There she stood, hands pointing at him with a gun.

 

Bang.

 

Kyle's expression didn't change, his face covered in the same crazy smile he wore since he declared he was going to hunt her down. The bullet hit his shoulder, but he didn't even flinch, he didn't even realize that he was in pain, all he wanted was to bring pain to her and she was just a few steps away. Before she could fire the second shot, her attention was caught by a huge explosion in the background, more specifically, it was her house blowing up. The girl didn't even realize she had just missed her chance to run when a bunch of Kyle's girls grabbed her arms and took her gun, holding her in place in front of Kyle. There was no mercy. Heidi finally looked into his eyes in horror, chills being sent down her spine. They both seemed to have underestimated each other, but fuck, she fucked up by underestimating him far more.

„Red, can I borrow your pliers?“

„Sure.“ Red stepped forward and handed her tools to Kyle while he sort of just looked them over in his hand before he looked back at Heidi, her heart was racing and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She was trapped.

„Heidi... I believe you have something that belongs to me. I'll be taking it back now.“ His voice sounded as gentle and soft as usual, however, when he grabbed her hand and without hesitation cut into her finger with such force, it was a complete contrast. Skin was cut through pretty easily and although it took more force and agonizing screams filling up the street, he managed to cut through the bone and and show Heidi her amputated finger.

„Thank you for your cooperation.“ Kyle smiled again, taking the ring off of the dead finger and slipping it back onto his hand. Ah, yes. This felt much better, much more right. While Heidi sobbed, reveling in her own pain, Kyle finally felt that inner peace within himself. Torturing the bitch that tried to steal his man sure felt fucking good. So he picked up his bat, completely ignoring the pleading and begging and swung full force, breaking her ankle with a loud, sickening crunch. Then the other one. Then her knees. Then her hands. Then her elbows. By the time he was finished she was unable to move on her own, it wasn't even necessary to hold her down anymore. Kyle would be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy this. He fucking loved it. He loved every sound her joints made when they broke, every single cry and scream. It caught the attention of most of the town residents, some of them just quietly watched and some of them even recorded it, but nobody dared to say anything or even ask questions as to why this was happening.

„Don't cry, the real fun's only starting now.“ Those words however, fell on deaf ears as Heidi couldn't focus on anything other than the agony she was in.

 

„Alright, Stan. Go and find Kyle to see if anything went wrong. I'll try and find Eric, but he's not picking up his phone.“ It was a little worrisome, but he was sure the fat fuck had a good reason to ignore his calls. He would break into his house and search for him in every corner he possibly couldn't fit into.

„Yeah, just... just be careful, okay? This is all so fucked up.“

„Aw, is Stanny-boy worried about me?“

„Shut up.“ Stan groaned, making his way towards where he heard the screams and to his surprise, he got a nice blood trail to follow on top of it.

 

„Wakey, wakey, bitch.“ Kyle finally shook Heidi awake, who must have lost consciousness because of shock and pain and suddenly, when she remembered what happened, she started hyperventilating, looking down at her broken joints and cut off finger. The pain burned just as terribly as it did before. This time, however, they were somewhere else. It probably took them some time to get her out of town since the sky was painted orange and judging by that it was evening already. Also, the only thing she heard were dogs aggressively barking behind her, behind a fence and held back by chains.

„Fuck...“ Was all she could say, knowing fully well how nothing she would say now could convince Kyle not to do this.

„Fuck indeed,“ Kyle spoke as the fence was opened and Bebe and Annie dragged her broken body inside, faces as cold as ice, they couldn't be read. Their unquestioning loyalty lied with Kyle, no matter what. Kyle stepped forward too, leaving the side of his best friend who caught up with them and only watched as things were about to end here. Kyle crouched down to get to eye level with Heidi. She was still shaking, but looked at him with the same respect as she did when he was dying.

„Any last words?“ Kyle said softly, acknowledging her courage and strength to keep her pride before death just like he did. They were very similar, but also very much two polar opposites.

„Yeah,“ Heidi looked up, giving Kyle an understanding look. She wasn't mad that he was going to kill her, the thing she thought about for a longer time and now realized was... „it's a pity we had to be rivals. I respect you.“ They shared one of their quiet little moments again, reveling in the silent looks only they could understand. If they were on the same side, if the love for one man didn't tear them apart, they could have achieved great things.

„I respect you too.“ Kyle slowly stood up, walking out and locking the gate, keeping eye contact with the girl all the while Stan let the dogs loose and they jumped onto her, tearing the flesh off her body with such rapid and insane aggression, it could only be compared to what Kyle was feeling when she took what was his. She made a mistake and now she had to pay. In a world like theirs, it was the unspoken law.

 

Suddenly, Kyle's phone beeped, a message from Eric lighting up his screen.

[coon]: baby, meet me at Stark's pond, we need to talk

 

Kyle stared down and gripped his bat tighter before he walked towards Stan to show him the message.

„Kenny would have called me if he found Cartman, someone else must have his phone.“

„I know. I'll go there, you cover me.“ At which Stan smiled, feeling nostalgic about being the one to protect his best friend with a sniper rifle from afar. Everything was going to be okay, he could feel it.

„As always.“

 


	37. Monsters love monsters

„Kyle, you should really go to a hospital now--“ Butters complained, wanting nothing more than for Kyle to be safely in a bed with people watching over him and making sure he survives this. He could still die of the poisoning in the next 24 hours, until that time is over, his survival isn't guaranteed. Besides, the gunshot wound wasn't a pretty addition to it either. The blonde boy frowned, having to patch it up to stop the bleeding instead actually taking care of it once and for all. Kyle really was stretching his time and luck by doing this.

„I still have things to take care of.“

„I know, but...“ Butters stopped himself from saying anything more when Stan placed his hand on his shoulder. There was nothing they could really do in order to get Kyle to the hospital right away, other than maybe try and knock him out, but it could very well end with them just getting beat up. Hell hath no fury like Kyle scorned.

 

In the meantime, Stan decided to let Kenny know.

[stan the man]: dude have you found cartman

[mysterion]: no, why?

[stan the man]: because we got a text from his phone, i think he's in trouble

[mysterion]: shit what did the text say

[stan the man]: whoever has the phone wants for kyle to meet him

[mysterion]: and let me guess, kyle is going right into the trap like a stubborn fuck

[stan the man]: yep

[mysterion]: i'll look for that fat fuck before he dies in a ditch somewhere

[stan the man]: please do

[mysterion]: after i bring eric back, kyle better give me a sex tape of my own as thanks ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[stan the man]: what the fuck is that face

[mysterion]: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Stan put his phone back into his pocket, shuddering off whatever weird ass vibe he got. Kenny always knew how to make someone uncomfortable even in a time of stress, it surely was a talent. Whether or not it was a good talent was questionable. Well, time to do this. The sooner, the better. He grabbed his sniper rifle and headed out in a completely different direction than Kyle. He would make sure his best friend stays safe. That, he swore.

 

„Aw, come the fuck on!“ Kenny cursed to himself, having turned around every single pillow in Eric's house, there was no signs of him. Not even some secret sort of message his sociopathic ass would usually leave behind. This was bad, it was getting night already and the house was completely empty. The phone was in someone elses hands too, which didn't help. Suddenly, Kenny remembered the basement where they used to play super heroes, it had a password on, but Kenny remembered the numbers because the weird robotic voice always said 'fuk you mom'. Very fitting of Eric, even to this day. So he walked down, turning on the light and looking around the empty room. Empty until he heard a groan from inside the closet. Carefully, he stepped towards it and opened it slowly, looking down at a tied up and gagged Eric. Trying not to laugh, he squatted down, taking off the gag and whispering with the utmost amusement.

„I can't believe you're back in the closet.“

„Fuck you, Kenny! About damn fucking time you got here!“

„Well, excuse me, but you didn't leave a cheeto trail for me to follow your fat ass.“

„God, I hate you.“

 

Kyle stepped forward, the snow being crushed under his shoes. It was way colder out here and it was pretty dark already, so he could only see his breath in the cold air. Strychnine poisoning, bullet wound and probably a flu because of him going out here only in the dress he had. Well, he didn't really care or realize this, he was out here for blood, wanting nothing but to annihilate everyone who dared separate him and his future husband. Kyle had gone beyond crazy in his mind, he hadn't acted like this ever since his first involvement in a gang war back in Jersey. That was such a long time ago. It was one of the instances that really taught everyone to fear him. Now, he was back in this state, but it was worse.

„Eric, where are you?“ Kyle called out before someone creeped up on his back and stretched out a hand to grab him. Kyle noticed the person stalking him, but he didn't move away on purpose, instead he only turned around when the man behind him fell down to the ground with a scream because of Stan shooting a bullet right through his hand.

„What the fuck?!“ Scott yelled, looking up at Kyle with his own two eyes for the very first time and feeling a sudden fear overwhelm his entire being. It was like looking in the eyes of a monster. A hungry monster. Kyle didn't waste any time on talking, instead he punched the guy so hard that he knocked him out. Kyle looked over the place, seeing a camera set up along with cuffs. What a warm welcome he prepared for him. He would have to repay him for that.

 

„Anyways, what's really going on?“ Kenny finally untied him and the fat boy rubbed his rope-burned wrists, frowning. He only knew pieces and bits out of the story, but he completely missed the bigger picture. It was very confusing to everyone involved in this.

„Tenorman, that's what's going on.“

„I thought he was in a mental hospital.“

„Well, he got out. He was working together with Heidi.“

„Oh, now that makes sense. So I assume it was Scott who sent Kyle a message telling him to meet up at Stark's pond from your phone.“

„Oh, for fuck's sake! What about Heidi? Have you guys taken care of her?“

„Kyle did. He went absolutely mental and I think he still is. I think you should worry more about missing Scott's torture rather than Kyle.“

„...I'm falling in love all over again.“

„Fag.“

 

„Morning, sunshine.“ Kyle spoke softly, glancing into Scott's eyes from only a few inches away, squatting down on his eye level. It was a little bit surreal how the huntsmen became the hunted in this situation.

„Holy shit...“ Scott managed to speak out, getting startled again as he gazed into that psychotic look, green eyes looking him over as if he was nothing but weak prey. He really was in this situation. Shit.

„First of all, tell me your name. I should at least know that before I kill you.“

„...Scott Tenorman.“ Kyle's eyes suddenly widened, recognizing the name from that one time Eric told him about how he fed this one kid his parents. Which, coincidentally, ended up being his own dad too. Well, fuck. Big brother came for revenge and ended up almost destroying a relationship, huh? That was hilarious, way too fucking funny in fact. Kyle couldn't help the burst of laughter that overtook him. He really did not expect that one. Props to him.

„I get it now. Eric fucked you up so now you tried to fuck him up and I got caught in the middle, huh?“

„About right.“

„Well, guess what? I don't like to be fucked with.“ Kyle's tone changed drastically, sounding way darker than it did before. Scott only gulped down at that, not finding enough courage to speak to someone who obviously had the upper hand here. „You did really well, I didn't expect to have my heart broken, you know? You did really well. But it wasn't well enough.“ Kyle stood up, pulling out the pocket knife he found on Scott and walking over to the camera, turning it on with an evil smirk.

„What... what are you going to do?“

„Let me hear you say: Hey, Ms. Cartman.“ Kyle walked over with those words, getting even closer than before and unzipping Scott's pants, shamelessly bringing out his dick into the chilly air.

„What the fuck are you doing?!“

„Don't worry about it, this will just stay in the family.“ And with a sudden stab, Kyle cut right through Scott's dick, reveling in the sheer pain that showed on his face. He kept screaming for so long, it was quite fascinating to just watch in quiet.

„Y-You're fucking sick! No wonder Cartman likes you!“

„I take it, that's your way of blessing our engagement? Why, thank you.“ Kyle smiled with such honesty, it almost looked like a normal exchange from his side, from Scott's side it looked like the most cruel torture of all time.

„Fuck you!“

„Hey, don't be mad now. This is what will happen to everyone who dares get between me and Eric. Though, since you're family maybe I should wait and get Eric's opinion on killing you? He's my future husband and all, I should get his opinion on family matters.“ Suddenly, another person stepped forward out of nowhere, grabbing Scott's hair and making him look up before his mouth was stuffed with a gun and fired just as fast. Usually, he would like revenge too, but right now Kyle was in a medically bad state and this had gone on for too long anyway. He just wanted it to be over. Finally, he turned over to look at Kyle. They hadn't seen each other in a few days. Or heard each others voices. It was very... foreign, but it also felt very homely and so nostalgic. It felt so good to look into his eyes again, look into the eyes of the man he loved and went crazy for.

„Kenny was right when he said you lost your mind, had to see it for myself.“ He softly spoke, pulling Kyle up to his feet and suddenly the redhead couldn't find words anymore. Couldn't find an explanation, he was even kind of embarrassed for acting so obviously violently and cruel like this. It left him a stuttering mess, but at least he was coming down from his rampage.

„I, uhh--“

„You saved my life, Kyle.“ Eric started, catching Kyle's attention fully and gently pulling on his cheek in a playful way, his voice softening.

 

„Deep down inside you're a monster, but you're my little monster."

 


	38. A part of me in you

Everything felt so right, Kyle smiled as his legs gave out and he fell into Eric's arms, his vision becoming completely blurry as the adrenaline left his body and the overwhelming pain kicked back in. He was safe now, he could allow himself to be vulnerable.

„Everything hurts.“

„I know. I heard you got poisoned and shot and refused to go to the hospital.“ Eric picked the boy up into his arms, carrying him like a princess out of the woods.

„I had to protect you and take you back.“

„I'm flattered you tortured two people in my name.“

„You should be, I love you a lot...“ The redhead muttered with a smile, his head spinning as he was pretty much not really there anymore, not really knowing what was going on around him. All he knew was that he felt so comfortable and safe and happy. Everything was alright again. But it was so confusing and then it all went black just like that.

„I love you too. A lot.“

 

Eric hurried in his steps then, Kyle was still breathing, but him getting knocked out like this couldn't have been a good sign. Out on the road he spotted Kenny's truck, along with Butters and Stan already in, awaiting them expectantly, they were just as worried about Kyle as he was. After all, they were there when they saw Kyle dying. Stan was the first one too and when he discovered him, he couldn't do anything but sit beside him as he was going through immense pain and waiting for help. It was scary, terrifying. He didn't want his best friend to die. He didn't want him to die before him. Eric didn't waste any time getting Kyle into the backseat, getting into the passenger seat beside Kenny.

„I see the beast brought back his beauty. Yellow dress, smart, brave and all. On the other hand, you...“ Kenny decided to poke a little fun at Eric, there wouldn't be a day when he would miss such an opportunity.

„Step on it, poor boy.“ There was no time to waste, not even to get upset over these stupid comments. It might have been a little thing, but it spoke volumes about how much Kyle meant to him.

„You got it.“ Kenny knew that better than anybody else.

 

Hospitals always had such a weird feeling to them. Not necessarily a bad feeling, just weird. They were pure white and although the color was meant to symbolize hope or some gay stuff like that, it kind of always turned out to give off this hopeless, depressing vibe. Colorless. Empty. Kyle's health had never been the best so as a kid he got sick pretty often, or even gotten into accidents and ended up having to visit the doctor or the hospital. Kyle kind of just stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to move his body yet. He knew that if he did, the pain would hit in. Not feeling his body after just waking up felt kind of nice, kind of spiritual, but then he realized that he wanted to see Eric. Carefully he turned his head to the side, looking over the desk beside his bed to see if anyone left his phone there, however, instead he noticed Eric on the bed beside his, playing on his own phone as if nothing were wrong. Kyle kind of just stared at him for a while, wondering why he was also dressed up in a hospital gown.

 

„Morning.“ Finally the redhead spoke, catching Eric's attention, who looked over at him, seemingly relieved to see that he woke up.

„Morning, it's 7pm.“

„Still morning for me. What are you doing here?“

„Just hanging out. What about you?“

„Same. What happened to you though? Did you get hurt in a fight?“

„More like, what happened to you. Apparently the Strychnine poisoning damaged your kidneys.“ Kyle's eyes widened at that, his hand slowly sliding down to feel a bandage wrapped around the side of his stomach.

„That bitch made me lose my kidneys?“

„Yep.“

„Rude. But you still didn't tell me what happened to you.“

„Well, apparently I'm also the only one in this entire town with your blood type. I guess now I'll be inside of you forever, you're welcome.“ Kyle's look softened at those words, feeling the happiness bubble up in his chest, his smile widening embarrassingly. God, he shouldn't be this happy, but he still was. His soon to be husband saved him by donating his kidney. Who would have thought their relationship would come to this, huh?

„And to think just a week ago you wanted to break up with me.“

„Hey, those weren't my words. I was being threatened.“

„Pft, okay. So I assume you know about the troll thing?“

„Yeah, she told me. I guess I didn't want to out your family even though they're Jewish and everything.“ He was always bad at excuses when it came to talking to Kyle. He couldn't really lie to him and Kyle knew it. He always saw through his bullshit and with each stupid cover up the facade got more and more transparent. Eric was a huge dork under it all.

„I guess I can forgive you in that case.“

„Why did you protect your dad though?“ The redhead stopped for a second, thinking back on that time. He was just a kid and Ike was even younger. They were both far too young for their dad to drag them into something like that. It was unfair of him. Neither Kyle nor Ike ever forgave him. They still hated him for it, but when he saw his mom glowing with happiness because she saw the man she loved come back home, he thought that it was worth it. Even though his mom had her tantrums and could lose her cool a lot of the time, get irrational, angry... he still loved her a lot and wanted to see her happy. What child didn't?

„I wasn't protecting him, I was protecting my family. Family is important.“ Kyle decided to say. Yeah, that was it. Family was the most important thing in the world, whether they were bonded by blood or not. And if he was going to marry Eric, he wanted to have a family just as strong and loving. No matter what or who would get between them. Just like what happened now. He wouldn't let anyone take his love away like this again.

„Yeah, I get that. Still, you were pretty hardcore with the whole hacking thing.“

„Heh, thanks.“

„And, since you went all out with leaking our sex tape and declaring a hunt down, it was all over the internet. Pretty sure most of the world saw it. Also, since we were growing our gangs so fast and taking over town, the media is talking about us now.“

„Shit, what are they saying?“ Kyle groaned, rubbing his eyes. He surely wasn't thinking when he did that. At that time he just wanted to make sure Heidi saw that video and knew what was coming, he wasn't thinking clearly.

„Something about us being the new star couple. I gained like 1 million followers on twitter because of it and pretty sure you did too.“

„Amazing, I always wanted to be internet famous because of a sex tape. Call me Kyley-K.“ Eric actually lost it then, laughing his heart out. Kyle did too, but suddenly, for some reason, milk sprayed out of his nose.

„What the fuck...?“

„Oh, good. They gave you the bad kidney.“

 

 

 


	39. To be free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these songs are art okay  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tzuvfy4jFwE  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hSw2Qyc-aU

„Mommy, I'm okay--“

„Oh, bubbeh!“ Kyle couldn't be spared the tight hug and kisses from his mom, she has been worried sick ever since she heard what happened. He really did get himself into a dangerous spot this time, but thankfully he handled himself. He always managed to. She was so proud. Finally, he felt like he could put this all behind him once he came back home, it was this strong feeling of getting through a hard time. He killed them. He won. Eric was still by his side even now and he wasn't going anywhere.

 

We can get through anything together.

 

He really believed that now. Ever since he met him, he felt such a strong sense of belonging. He found home in his arms and an adventure all at once. Their contrasting energies worked so well together, mixing in with rage and love, creating a heavenly passion that could only be described as ethereal. It was so strange, so alien, yet at the same time it was so nostalgic. His soul knew his – the shape, the form, the intensity, the sheer power. It had known him for a million years and in each universe, in each life, it fell in love again and again and again and again... It always did. It always would.

 

At least that's how it felt like. Their love was unique and felt so right.

 

It wasn't like Kyle to bail out on his worried sick family, or social media for the weekend. He loved his family a lot and he was obsessed with social media, especially now that he got so much attention. He thought he would like it, but to be completely honest, it was a bit overwhelming and draining. Which is how he found himself sprawled across the backseat of Kenny's truck, his legs resting on his fiancé's lap as his best friend meddled with the radio. The truck smelled old, it felt old too, but somehow these old and broken things suited Kenny verymuch, it matched his own soul. Kenny was very lively and very happy, but looking into his eyes felt like looking inside an ancient temple, it was all run down, but it spoke of holy things. Kenny looked like he knew a lot of things that could be considered holy or sacred, looked like he knew things others didn't. It was very strange, but also kind of comforting. He had this way of making people love him and feel happy. Loving Kenny was as easy as loving Stan, though towards Kenny he got more of a motherly feeling, especially when he saw Kenny was tired or sad. It wasn't often and he never really showed it, but it slipped out sometimes.

 

The road was pretty bumpy, the sky moving behind them and painting colors over their heads. It was so beautiful, so calming. After everything that happened, he really needed something like this. Just to go out and live. Kenny then looked through his phone, trying to find a good song. Well, good in regards of Kenny being Kenny.

„How about carpool karaoke?“ The blonde spoke, grinning at his choice.

„Yeah, sure.“

„You know, I found this new artist, she's kind of like the new thing that younger kids listen to these days. Like, Ike's age. She's becoming very popular, but what I really like is how... deep her lyrics are. They're very artistic and always have a message and meaning. I feel like that's the most important part of a song.“

„Oh, yeah. Definitely.“ Stan replied in agreement and everyone nodded as well, not thinking anything of it before the lyrics hit them, their eyes widening and mouths flying open in shock while Kenny sang along loud and proud and Eric just started laughing, not expecting anything else.

„ _Hump me, fuck me_  
_Daddy better make me choke (you better)_  
 _Hump me, fuck me_  
 _My tunnel loves to deep throat_  
 _Lick, lick, lick, lick_  
 _I want to eat yo' dick_  
 _But I can't fuck up my nails_  
 _So imma pick it up with chopsticks._ “

 

It was shocking to say the least, but unsurprisingly, Kenny had no shame. He was feeling himself and the music, he loved singing about deepthroating dicks. It was his shit. What was more surprising though was when Eric started singing alongside him just as loud on the second verse, grinning from ear to ear and having so much fun shocking Stan and Kyle with how wrong the lyrics were.

„ _Mouth wide open, mouth wide open_  
_Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist_  
 _Mouth wide open, mouth wide open_  
 _Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence._ “

 

„Dude, sick.“ Stan commented once the song was finally over, feeling slightly traumatized, but also really amused. Why did people make these types of songs? Who the fuck thought of this?

„Don't even start, the song's hot and you know it.“

„A hot mess, maybe.“

„It had a nice beat though, I love rap.“ Kyle commented, going through his own playlist, smiling.

„You do? Can you rap too?“ At which Eric looked over Kyle with interest, he never really thought Kyle was the type, but then again he didn't think Kyle was a lot of things in the beginning and he always managed to surprise him. But hey, it was an exciting life.

„Well, kind of.“

„Yeah? Let us hear it, mama Kyle.“

„Alright. Do you like Nicki?“

„Minaj? Mamanaj?“

„Damn straight, Mamanaj.“

„Fuck yeah.“ Kenny grinned, the music drowning the car entirely along with Kyle's voice. Never did Eric think he would have such a powerful voice while rapping or that he could go so fast and sound even more gangster than he already did. In the beginning, Kyle was looking specifically at Eric, as if to say something with that smug look.

„ _That boy is a real pussy pleaser_  
_All that fetty but he never met Masika_  
 _Tuck the chrome 22 in his sneaker_  
 _El Chapo but he crazy like La Quica_

 _Young girls always lookin' for a soulmate_  
_But I shoulda listened to what momma told me_  
 _Furry moon boots, shades Dita_  
 _Too high to give a shit about PETA._ “

 

And by the end he made sure to lean forward towards Stan, specifically talking about PETA and making fun of his best friend's obsession with protecting animals. It was cute, but there was no way in hell he could ever pass up a chance to make fun of him. Such was the law of friendship, especially when it came to the really strong ones. The ones where you would say 'I love you' without hesitation. They had such a friendship. He couldn't have been happier singing in an old truck on a bumpy road, the sun setting as they drove off into nowhere, just wanting to live in the moment. Life could change at any moment.

„ _Sativa so strong I'm not blinkin'_  
_What in the world was I thinkin'?_  
 _New day, new money to be made_  
 _New things for them to imitate_  
 _I'm a fuckin' Hebrew barbie_  
 _Pretty face, perfect body_  
 _Pink seats in the 'Rari_  
 _Always fuck him like I'm sorry_  
 _Who the fuck is gon' protect her?_  
 _If I really gotta check her_  
 _Peter Piper picked a pepper_  
 _And my cake is triple decker._ “

 

Eric couldn't help his smirk when he heard the changed lyrics, loving how proud Kyle always was of his heritage. Even when he made fun of him for being Jewish, Kyle never really let it get to him and always insulted him back on reflex, it was really fun to see Kyle get so pissy and cute. Of course, there was a difference between him being actually angry and just pissy. Angry Kyle was scary, pissy Kyle was cute.

„ _I see these silly daddies flexin', it's a no zone_  
_You gon' be floatin' in dem rivers like you know Joan_  
 _Israeli girl, Donald Trump want me go home_  
 _Still pull up with my wrist lookin' like a snowcone._ “

 

Needless to say, Kyle was impressive and earned a clap from the blonde boy, nodding in approval.

„Hot.“ Were the only words he said, deeming it as a legitimate rating.

„Where did you learn to rap like that?“ Eric asked, looking his little Jew over with a bit of hunger in his eyes. If it weren't for Kenny and Stan in the front, he might have devoured him right then and there.

„He wanted to be black when he was a kid.“

„Stan!“ Kenny started laughing, trying his hardest to keep his eyes on the road and not crash.

„And his dad wanted to be a dolphin.“ Which had Kenny losing it even harder.

„Jewphin.“ Eric commented with a stone face, his eyes tearing up as he lost his shit laughing.

 


	40. These are the Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78oSuSMmFsE  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwuHOQLSpEg

„Where are we?“ It was a pretty vast road with the sun setting down and nothing to be seen for miles other than something that appeared to be a shitty old bar. Though even those had their own charm.

„No idea.“ Kenny replied and after giving the place a few looks, returned to his truck to fumble through some bag, pulling out wigs and dresses with a wicked grin, his eyes soon landing on Eric.

„No.“ The fat boy immediately replied, knowing very well where this was headed off to. They did this shit a lot like a year ago when it was just the two of them and there was nobody who could recognize them, but right now that wasn't the case. His damn fiancé and that guard dog were here, staring at them and trying not to chuckle once they noticed what Kenny was trying to do.

„Aw, come on, don't be such a pussy.“

„I'm not a pussy.“

„Sure, pussy boy. You were way more willing when you were drunk. Want to drink up, Captain?“ Kenny waved a bottle around, but naturally, it was half empty. Or, half full, as Kenny liked to see it.

„That's true,“ Kyle interjected, pulling up his phone and scrolling through his folder before showing the photo of both of them drunk and in drag. „see?“

„What the fuck? I don't even remember that.“ Meanwhile Stan snatched the phone, getting a good laugh from the heart at seeing such a big guy looking completely different.

„Dude, I'd pay to see you live in drag.“ Stan spoke through tears, his cheeks already hurting. Man, he hasn't laughed like this since he turned 10 years old and acquired crippling depression.

„Me too.“ Kyle agreed.

„I don't need Jew money.“

„Hey, I can pay with something else.“ Kyle grinned, giving Eric a wink and no other words were needed, the implication wasn't lost on him as he pushed Kyle and Stan off into the bar to leave them to the preparations. Seeing him in drag was one thing, but nobody needed to know where his balls went during the preparations.

 

As expected, there were only a few people, some of them were already passed out drunk on their respective tables. Mostly old men. It was surprisingly roomy though, with enough space to dance around if it ever came to being filled up with people. Not that it mattered, this place was in the middle of nowhere, not many young souls stepped inside unless they searched for something or just wanted to get away for a while. Just like them. Old wooden tables had to do in the dimly lit space, making themselves as comfortable as they could before ordering beer. The owner didn't seem to care to ask for their age, it wasn't like anyone the drinking age nor did it seem like anyone would check up on this place. It really did look like it was forgotten in time.

„Well, Stan, you excited for your first drag experience?“

„Wait, you've seen drag shows before?“

„Well... not exactly. I watched RuPaul's drag race. It's really good, dude.“

„Yeah? What's your favorite thing about drag queens?“

„I just really appreciate their self expression... Nah, I'm fucking with you. The drama and the shade got me. Everyone is so fucking petty, it's great.“

„You can relate to being petty, huh?“

„Shut up.“

 

Finally, the clicking of high heels could be heard as Kenny walked in – long, blonde hair, face uncovered along with big blue eyes and freckles covering his nose and cheeks like a bunch of stars on a clear night sky. Kenny really was beautiful, but he rarely took his hood off, the most he did was when he was crossdressing. He did mention that he was comfortable feeling like a girl, but those feelings were too confusing to really label like Wendy did. She was always quick to find an explanation or some sort of solution, Kenny wasn't. He didn't like to think about it, he just liked living his life, the time he had before each death, the way it felt right. He made his way over to the bartender, leaning over the counter suggestively and asking him something before getting all excited and making his way onto the stage. It was kind of captivating, the way he walked, the way he shined, the way he existed. As lonely as the sun while the rest of the world orbited around him, admiring him.

 

It hit Stan, too. It was a confusing feeling, but there was something to Kenny that nobody could really understand. Whether it was his view on life or other things. His way of knowing and keeping silent. His way of always putting himself in danger without thinking twice. He had a strong aura, it could light up the whole room and as his soft voice spoke, sounding clear for the first time in ages, it lit up the hearts of everyone present. He wasn't singing.

 

„ _I sing the Body electric;_  
_The armies of those I love engirt me, and I engirt them;_  
_They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,_  
_And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the Soul.“_

 

It was something different, Kenny always had this ridiculous, wild side to him, but right now he was different, he was spilling his heart, his whole soul flowed through the vibration of his voice, hitting the senses of everyone. Everyone could feel it. Although nobody could understand the emotion behind his words, everyone could feel it. Explanation wasn't needed. He didn't want anyone to understand. They would forget anyway. They always would. He wondered if maybe they managed to remember his emotions.

 

 _„The thin red jellies within you or within me - the bones and the marrow in the bones_  
_The exquisite realization of health;_  
_O I say, these are not the parts and poems of the Body only, but of the Soul_  
_O I say now these are the Soul!“_

 

Kenny finished, snapping back to reality once he heard the clapping, all eyes on him. He gave a sad smile to his best friend who just walked in to see him finish the poem, being the only one to ever truly understand him. He didn't mean to make himself this emotional, usually he wanted to make people happy, to make them laugh. Maybe he needed this, it felt like a huge burden fell of his chest. Eric was quick to step on the stage, taking Kenny's place who just confusedly searched the room for someone until his eyes met with Stan's.

 

If it were just for tonight, it would be alright.

 

Not going to lie, Eric looked just as breath taking. He looked like one of those thick pin-up girls with a Jessica Rabbit hairstyle, the dark eyeshadow and bright red lips only adding to the look. While Kenny looked more innocent and pure, Eric looked tainted and at peace with it. His expression wasn't nearly as confident as his style, but the power showed in his voice, even if it was sad. Even if it hurt to sing. Damn Kenny for making him feel things. Damn their friendship for being so open. Damn it all, for they knew everything about each other.

 

 _„I've been out on that open road_  
_You can be my full time daddy,_  
_White and gold_  
_Singing blues has been getting old_  
_You can be my full time baby,_  
_Hot or cold.“_

 

Stan was led away from the table, Kenny holding his hand before wrapping his arms around his neck and swaying his hips to the tune of Eric's singing. He had gotten better at controlling his voice over the years, but it was still very intense. It fit him. Stan stared down, his hands hesitantly finding their way onto Kenny's waist.

„Kenny, I--“

„Hush.“ The blonde boy interrupted him, turning around in his arms and leaning back against him, his whole body eating up the warmth and affection he was so starved for for so long. He just needed someone to hold him like this once in a while. He liked to think he was better off alone because it all ended up with people getting hurt over his deaths and forgetting their relationship with him, but he just needed this. He needed to feel like he belonged somewhere, needed to feel like there was someone to protect him from this all. Stan made him feel like that, he had the face of a knight. And Kenny always felt like he was a princess.

„Just for tonight, Okay?“ He whispered, closing his eyes.

„Okay.“ Stan nodded, finding himself pulling the princess closer to his chest. He felt like he needed to protect him from empty danger. If only he knew.

 

Kyle stared up ahead at the stage, his face absolutely mesmerized by both the singing and the look. If there was any word to describe this, it would be art. Eric was an artist and a performer, that much was sure even if he didn't like admitting it. Although costume or not, right now in this very moment, he was just being himself. It felt safer to do all dressed up. Kyle understood. He understood what his next words meant, understood why Eric's voice shook so badly when he sang that part.

 

„ _Dying young and I'm playing hard  
That's the way my father made his life an art.“_

 

He understood why he cried in front of all these strangers up on a stage.

 


	41. Oh, Miss America

His eyes stung, he didn't want to cry. Not in front of all these people, not in front of Kyle. Kyle knew about some of the darkest things of his life, but never did he show such weakness before. He swore he wouldn't. That's why, despite the tears streaming down his cheeks, he looked ahead and gave it his all, singing out his heart in a way he never thought he could. The lights on him hurt, it felt like everyone knew what he had done. He wasn't one to let other people judge him, but this was the first time he allowed himself to be vulnerable.

 

The very first time he had to admit regret.

 

Finishing the song, he leaned on the microphone, sniffing and trying to compose himself as the crowd applauded, but when he met Kyle's eyes, he realized there was no point in hiding it. He saw right through him. Somehow, Kyle always saw through his bullshit. It was unfair. It was like some sort of stupid super power only a Jew could have. Heh, Kyle would be mad if he heard that one. Maybe he should say it, save his ass from this emotional wreck he became and just put on a comedy show, but he couldn't find words. Instead, he felt his legs carry him outside and breathe him the fresh air. After everything, he finally realized what he had just done and how a certain someone followed him outside wordlessly. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack.

„You wanna talk about it?“ The redhead asked, approaching his boyfriend and standing beside him as he sat down, looking up at the starry sky. He didn't know where else to turn his gaze.

„No.“

„Okay.“ Kyle stroked through his wig, allowing him to hide his face into his shirt, just hide away from everything. Everything caught up to him and he couldn't handle it. His dad, the whole thing with Scott. It haunted him. He didn't even hesitate on killing his brother, just like he didn't hesitate on killing his father. Fuck...

 

He couldn't help it anymore, clinging to Kyle and for the very first time in years, spilling out everything into ugly sobs, ruining his makeup even more than it already was inside. He hated himself for it, hated himself for admitting weakness. But somehow he couldn't delude himself anymore. Somehow he was unable to carry this with himself any longer. Time seemed to stand still as he cried into his arms, feeling his wounds starting to heal. It would be a long process, but it finally started. Finally he could recover. Finally there was someone who was capable of pulling him out of this mess. Having met Kyle, it was the best thing to ever happen to him. It genuinely felt like they were fated to meet.

„You're such an ugly crier, Eric.“

„Bad Irene.“ The boy sobbed out, slowly pulling away and looking up, feeling himself finally start to calm down.

„What?“

„My drag name. It's Bad Irene.“

„Sounds like a porn star name.“

„Her character is very slutty, yes.“

„Tell me more.“ Kyle plopped down, pulling Eric down to lie his head down onto his lap.

„Well, she's been addicted to abortions since she was 5 years old.“

„Holy shit.“

„I know.“

 

In this moment he was so happy.

 

After what seemed like hours, Kenny made his way outside along with Stan and some other guys, they seemed way older than them. Kyle only noticed the bikes parked outside then.

„Irene!“ Kenny was buzzed, most certainly. Or maybe high. Or maybe he was just enjoying life. Eric wasn't the only one who lost control of his emotions. They both have been like this ever since they were kids, not allowing themselves to show vulnerability even in the darkest of times, that's why they never really knew how to comfort each other in such a way. Thankfully, they met people who were capable of doing just that. Eric grumpily sat up, only expecting the worst from his best friend. What kind of crazy shit was he going to do now?

„The fuck?“ Was his simple question, but it was ignored.

„You look ugly. Cried your prettiness off.“

„Thanks, poor piece of shit.“

„Let me fix it for you.“ Of course Kenny thought ahead like this. He might not have had the ability to comfort Eric like Kyle did, allow him to cry, but he knew how to build him back up and make him feel like it was just a minor inconvenience. Eric liked that about him, which is why he allowed Kenny to wipe off his ruined makeup and retouch it.

„Kenny, I was planning to get out of drag anyway--“

„Aw, come on, the night is still young!“

„My balls aren't, they're aging with each second.“

„Where did you tuck them away anyway?“ Kyle asked, genuinely curious how much effort drag like this contained.

„Trust me, you don't wanna know.“

„Mine went up to my titties!“ Kenny exclaimed, causing Stan to momentarily feel like throwing up. Thankfully, he managed to control himself. It just sounded very painful.

„Jesus Christ, Kenny.“

„What?“

 

Suddenly, fireworks went off. Music blared and people cheered, motorcycles driving around in circles, creating the perfect setting for something that looked like an infinite night. Living wild was what it was all about. Living in the moment and moving on from regrets. Eric needed to learn that and this was the beginning of that. He had the courage now, he wasn't alone. Well, at least he wasn't until Kenny betrayed him and dragged Kyle off to dance, leaving him alone with Stan. Eric stood up then, towering over the black haired boy more than usual in his high heels. Seeing a real life giant drag queen sure felt surreal. A little awkward.

„I never thought I'd see you of all people like this ever in my life.“ Eric sneered at that, ruffling through Stan's hair in a mocking fashion.

„I don't wanna hear it, hetero.“ With those words, Eric walked off too, finding new energy within himself as he threw molotovs into the bonfire, watching it burn up into the sky. It was beautiful. Life was beautiful and he felt immortal as he joined in on the dance, getting a hold of Kenny and putting on a nice show dancing with him. Kyle had to admit, this was the first time ever since he fell for Eric that he felt really attracted to a girl. Except the girl was still his giant bear of a boyfriend, looking hotter than any girl he liked in the past, all wrapped up in the American flag, the light of the fire making him shine like he was made out of gold, looking so expensive and holy even as he was shooting gunshots into the sky. If there was any way to describe this, it would be deemed a dream. One of those that felt so real and yet so unreachable. He couldn't help just standing there in awe, but unlike others, he reached him.

 

God, he loved the American dream.

 


	42. Someone's watching, dear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ndsondaosw j best sex scene ever?????

„Hey, Kyle?“ Eric spoke up, turning his head to see if Kyle was awake, lying on the seat with his legs up in his boyfriend's lap. He has been stroking them for quite a while now, it felt so relaxing that he did almost fall asleep. Kyle opened his eyes then, not seeing much in the dark, they've been traveling through the night.

„Hm?“ He muttered out, coming back from his little nap.

„Thanks for yesterday.“ Kenny decided not to get involved in their conversation for now, but he was going to listen in on it. Couldn't pass up that chance.

„Hey, don't mention it. You're gonna be my husband, I have to take care of you.“ Kyle sat up, scootching up closer to Eric and nuzzling into his arms. They've been whispering these things, not wanting Stan to wake up and ruin the moment. They looked like they were off in their own little world right now, Kenny wasn't even sure if they realized someone had to be awake to drive the car.

„Mm... Hey, come to think of it, aren't you like, diabetic?“

„Yeah?“

„I haven't seen you injecting.“

„What do you think this is for?“ Kyle tapped on the insulin pump attached to his shorts, earning a surprised look from his lover.

„Funky tunes?“ You could practically feel Kyle rolling his eyes at that. Finally, Kenny couldn't help laughing at that answer, his little spying coming to an end.

„Dumbass.“ The blonde commented and Kyle nodded in agreement. Great, now they were once again ganging up on him. Just like always.

„Kenny,“ Kyle started, leaning forward to get closer to his friend, his ass now in the face of his boyfriend. At least that shut him up. „where are we going to anyway?“

„You remember Jimmy and Timmy? I saw them talking to you at the New Year's party.“

„Oh, yeah. I do.“

„Well, I've gotten a call. They're in trouble.“

„What kind of trouble?“ At this point it took all of Eric's willpower not to grope that ass.

„All they said was that a lot of their gang members have started to disappear. Like, no trace of them or anything. They just vanished off the surface of Earth.“

„Well, that's creepy. Got any leads?“

„Nothing. Except that it started happening ever since they made this old mansion their base and all.“ Kyle sneered at that, not believing this. Of fucking course. Old mansion, creepy forest, people start disappearing.

„And they haven't fucking left?“

„Apparently a lot of them have nowhere else to go, they either don't have families or their families abandoned them. Jimmy and Timmy came around to picking up people off the streets for the past few years.“

„That's nice of them, but I still think it's stupid to stay at a haunted mansion.“

„You think it's haunted?“

„What else would it be? It's the classic horror trope. Except this time there's no Jessica Lange to make it worthwhile.“

„Dude, I'd fuck Jessica Lange.“

„Sam-- Eep!“ Kyle yelped out, flinching at the sensation of his lover's teeth sinking into his ass. Did he have to bite him?!

 

The light of the sunrise hit the earth, gleaming through their half open windows as the truck made its way through a bumpy road inside the forest. It was quite the while inside, most of the sky and sunrise covered by trees, only letting through that little bit of light. It was so desolate as they finally arrived at the clearing, seeing nothing but one mansion far and wide, all surrounded by the woods. Well, fuck this. Kyle got out of the car first, his glance immediately falling onto the actual fucking well beside the house.

„You must be shitting me.“ He muttered, already feeling freaked out. This place did have a weird feeling to it. There was something unnatural about it. Other than being in the middle of no fucking where, probably without any signal.

„W-W-W-Welcome, fellas!“ Jimmy appeared in the huge entrance door, looking relieved, but also still slightly worried. Maybe he felt safer knowing that there were more people from South Park. From what Kyle heard, South Park has seen some shit of its own.

„Hey, Jimmy.“ Kyle kicked the car door, startling Stan awake. That guy could sleep even through the apocalypse. He claimed it was the depression.

 

They made their way inside and even though the architecture was breathtaking, it also looked like something taken straight out of a movie. Very high ceilings, big, fancy staircases, tall windows... It all looked so beautiful and spacey, no wonder they wanted to make this their base. But it had to be abandoned for a reason, right? Maybe it was the paranoia, but Kyle couldn't help looking around to see if there was anything lurking. His heart clenched up when Jimmy led them downstairs into the basement, but what he saw was... pretty fucking amazing.

„Whoa.“

„G-G-Glad you like it.“

„Did your guys remake this?“

„Y-Y-Y-Yes.“ Kyle looked around, letting his guard down just for a second. The room was dimly lit up, containing a nice bar, shelves full of alcohol, a fuzzy looking rug all over the basement floor, couches, bean bags, old arcade games, a pool table and even some pinball machines off to the side. Fuck, he loved pinball machines when he was a kid. It was really nicely decorated. He didn't expect one of the usually most haunted places of mansions to look this nice. Of course, Stan immediately made his way towards the bar. Figures.

„Hey, guys.“ Another sight greeted them, with a shaky Tweek sitting beside Craig, whose only hello contained a middle finger held up towards them.

„Hello!“ Clyde looked way more cheerful considering the situation. He waved to them, holding up a ouija board before it was ripped from his hand and he got slapped with it by Token.

„Fucking white people.“ The black boy muttered and Kyle gave him a sympathetic look. Stan came back with a drink in his hand, looking far more satisfied and calm than before.

„I thought Butters would be with you guys.“ Craig spoke in that monotone, nasally voice of his.

„We invited him, but apparently he got grounded for saving Kyle's life. Poor kid.“ Stan slurred out, already feeling the effects of the booze. Considering that he's an alcoholic, he had a pretty low tolerance. At least lower than Kyle.

„Well, explain.“ Eric plopped down onto the couch, wanting to know more about the situation. The sooner they resolved this, the better. He wasn't going to admit it, but this place kind of freaked him out too.

„W-W-W-Well,“ Jimmy sat down as well, putting his crutches down beside him. „we f-found this mansion and thought we hit jackpot, it was in a good condition, as if someone had been taking care of it, but we couldn't find any owners.“

„Creepy.“

„W-We heard from a police officer that nobody lived here for the past 100 years.“

„Jimmy,“ Kyle sighed. „that's one of the first warning signs.“

„I told him that too.“ Token commented.

„A-Anyway, some of my guys just started disappearing one by one. We looked everywhere, but we couldn't even find bodies.“

„Did you call the Ghostbusters?“ Stan suggested, that being the first thing to come to his mind.  
„Y-Yes, they peed their pants and ran off. We also tried calling a priest and we let him walk around to do his thing, but then we heard a scream and he disappeared too.“

„What about the Winchesters?“ Stan suggested again, with more hope in his voice before Kyle patted his drunk head.

„I told you this before, Stan. The Supernatural is just a show.“ In that moment, Stan looked at Kyle in a way that told just how much his heart broke at the revelation.

„Well, I guess we will be on the lookout for now, I don't exactly want to seek out the danger.“ Eric decided as he got up along with Kyle.

„F-Fair enough.“

 

The boys walked off to he side to talk in private, having enough privacy due to the jukebox playing one of those 80's songs. Kyle nervously took out a cigarette, trying to light it as fast as possible, but only getting sparks. Eric touched his cheek then, stroking it with his thumb and making him look up as he brought out his own zippo lighter and lit up Kyle's cigarette. The redhead really needed to calm his nerves. It was freaky, sure, but it wasn't anything worse than what they already went through.

„This shit's haunted! They should just pack up and leave!“ Kyle whispered out, looking like it was the most sensible thing to do here. It was.

„Calm down, Jimmy wants to find his men and they have nowhere else to be anyway. Besides, in the end it might just be some weird, mutated psycho murderer who has been living here, away from civilization all his life.“ Eric snorted when he saw Kyle turn away and start to angrily play with the pinball machine in his irritation.

„Oh, that makes it so much better.“

„It does. If it's alive, then it can be killed.“ Kyle considered those words, feeling much calmer. He was right. They could kill some beast easy peasy. Those big hands feeling him up and making their way inside his shorts did a good job of distracting him as well. The redhead bit his lip as to hold back a moan, looking over at the rest of the guys who were busy talking among themselves, fighting and arguing in more of a friendly way. Kyle could feel his lover's hard dick grind up against him along with the air hitting his naked ass as his short were carefully dragged down just enough for easy access.

„They could catch us.“ Weak argument. He knew he wanted it himself.“

„So?“ Strong argument. Kyle shuddered as he felt the soft kisses along his shoulder and neck, his body moving to lie down onto the pinball machine on its own. He couldn't help giving out a soft gasp and biting his lips as he felt his lover move gently. It felt so soft and loving, he could almost ignore that they weren't alone in the room, only focusing on his cigarette burning and ashes falling off the top down, staining his own hand an ashy grey.

 


	43. Talking to spirits

„I told you, I'm not doing this!“ Token exclaimed, flailing his hands around and not believing these people. How could they just pull out the ouija board and candles in a situation like this? They were crazy.

„Aw, come on!“ Clyde begged, giving Token the puppy eyes. They didn't work.

„Kyle, you agree that this is stupid, right?“ Token asked the redhead who just rejoined the group along with his boyfriend, all flushed and sort of in a daze. Cartman looked unusually smug and satisfied, weird.

„What?“ Kyle kind of just stared at Token, dumbfounded. Sex always put him in this blank minded state.

„Talking to ghosts.“

„Oh, sure, let's do it.“ The redhead sat down in front of the board, completely calm. Whatever, it probably really was some psycho serial killer anyway. Nothing to worry about. The sooner they confirmed there was nothing paranormal about this, the better.

„...I'm not doing this.“ Finally, Token resigned and started walking away, before Cartman's words stopped him.

„You do realize that in horror movies the black guy dies first, right? You wanna walk off on your own?“ And so Token stopped in his track, turning around on his heel and grumpily sitting down inbetween Clyde and Craig. Fucking horror movie stereotypes.

 

The boys all gathered around the board while Kenny closed the doors and turned off the lights. The room was barely lit up by only a few candles, grave silence surrounding them and tension hanging in the air. They might have not wanted to show it, but they were all scared on the inside. As for Kenny, at this point he was expecting anything to come out and kill him. It seemed to be sort of a trope for him.

„Alright, who's gonna do it?“ The blonde boy asked, finding amusement in looking over all those nervous faces. Poor Tweek was shaking really badly, Kenny had to wonder if Craig utilized that in bed. Maybe. Maybe not.

„I'll just do it.“ Stan finally spoke up, putting down his finished bottle and put his fingers on top of the planchette, Kenny following up.

„You're not scared you might get possessed?“

„Already been possessed by Satan. Anyway, spirit, are you ther--“

„Huh?“ Kenny, nor any of the other boys had the time to dwell on that before the door behind them slammed open, hitting the wall so suddenly and roughly. Half of the boys shrieked like little girls, jumping up and away from the board and staring at the door. Then, from the shadows, a person... rolled in.

„Timmy?“ The boy in the wheelchair asked, wondering about what was going on here and why they looked so terrified.

„See, I told you there was nothing paranormal about this.“ Craig stated, comforting his trembling boyfriend. It'd take a while until he stops shaking like a wet chihuahua.

„Clyde... Did you pee yourself?“ Kenny asked the chubby boy whose only response was looking back at Kenny with teary eyes.

 

Stan stretched out, now slowly sobering up as he was cleaning up the candles and the mess he left behind the bar. The boy gave the ouija board a glance, noticing that the planchette was lying on the word 'GOODBYE'.

„Hey, Kenny.“

„Yeah?“

„Did you mess with the board?“

„Nah.“ Maybe it just slipped when someone jumped up, but he didn't feel anyone bump into the table.

 

Weird.

 

Kyle sighed, his after-sex glow completely gone and now back to the terrifying reality. God dammit, they shouldn't have done that. It was stupid. He always complained about the people in horror movies acting all stupid, but this time he surprised himself. Apparently, all it takes is a good dicking for him to start acting stupidly. Kyle thought back on all the times he risked his life for Eric then, feeling embarrassed that this was something that he kept on doing. Acting in stupid ways for the guy he was in love with, that is. He fell on the bed, giving another, bigger sigh.

„Stop moaning.“ Eric commented, flicking his forehead.

„I'm not moaning.“ He whined.

„Oh, I know.“ He never could hide that smirk whenever he made jokes about how loud Kyle's moans could get.

„Shut up.“

„What are you so worried about? Nothing happened, just like I said.“

„I know, but we still shouldn't have done that. It's something you're not supposed to play around with. I have a feeling it's going to bite us in the ass.“

„Well, when that happens, we still have enough salt to defend ourselves with from when you had your revenge on Heidi.“ It took him a while, but then his eyes flew wide open.

„Daaaamn.“

„All the salt, Kyle. It was beautiful.“

„You think it's funny now, but I'm telling you, this is going to end in another shit storm.“

„We will cross that bridge when we get to it.“

„You'll eat those words.“

„I'll eat you.“ Suddenly, Kyle was pushed down onto his back, losing it as Eric started tickling his sides and kissing along his neck. It was hard to stay anxious with someone like Eric here to calm his nerves down. It was certainly a good quality to have.

 

It was late at night, his boyfriend fast asleep, snoring softly. But Kyle couldn't sleep, his own worries keeping him awake. Not only that, but it was hard for him to fall asleep in a place he's never been to before, especially when it had this weird, off energy about it. He has never really thought about these things, but right now he was forced to. What if they really got stuck in one of those ridiculous scenarios where they all die? That sure would suck, he still wanted to get married.

 

Kyle quickly closed his eyes then, when he heard the knob on their door turning. Keep calm – he told himself. All he needed was to let the intruder in, so he gets close enough and can take care of him. If he suspected anything, it could end worse. So Kyle stayed put, trying to breathe as naturally as possible despite how tense he was as he heard the footsteps coming closer and closer towards his side of the bed. Great, someone was coming towards him. Kyle hoped to God, it was just Stan dragging his drunken ass towards him to cuddle like he sometimes did even in his sober states, but then, Kyle's mind raced as a large hand stroked across his eyes. It wasn't the touch itself, but the hand felt so cold, nearly frozen. A sharp pain struck through Kyle's heart as his eyes shot open, searching the room for the intruder, but finding it absolutely empty. The door wasn't even open.

 

Was he hallucinating? Dreaming?

 

No, that was impossible. It felt so real. Too damn real. Kyle turned to Eric then, seeing him asleep just like before. He looked so peaceful. The redhead softly stroked his boyfriend's cheek, finding comfort in how warm he felt compared to the freezing hand touching his eyes. This was real. The warm touch, his quiet snoring, he was still here and everything was still real. Looking at Eric usually filled him with this immense calmness, but in this moment, his heart ached with the desire to protect him from everything and anything that could harm him.

 


	44. In death I can love you freely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT ASK ME WHY I WROTE SOMETHING THIS EMOTIONAL I DONT FUCKING KNOW
> 
> maminka - mommy  
> ocinko - daddy  
> moja duša - my soul

„What do you mean 'a deity'?“ Eric walked into the room, looking over everyone's faces. They all looked pretty freaked out, but who wouldn't be? As much as he tried to stay calm, sleeping in such a place felt weird. Sure, it might not have been anything supernatural in the end, but they certainly weren't alone. How else to explain all the disappearances?

„Well,“ Stan started. „Jimmy did say that this place was blessed over, right?“

„Right.“

„If that didn't work, then we're not dealing with a ghost or a demon. Besides, I don't think most ghosts would have enough power to make people disappear. Kill, maybe. But not to have them vanish in thin air.“ Stan explained himself, apparently he thought this one through. Still...

„Or, you know, still could be a freaky killer on the loose.“

„Sure would love to believe that, but...“

„But?“

„I'm almost certain something moved the planchette when you guys went to sleep. It might not be a ghost, but it might be some sort of deity. Those things can act like poltergeists sometimes.“

„Stan's right,“ Kenny added, cutting Eric off before he could fight over this theory any further. „we should look into it. We have nothing to lose.“

„E-E-Except another one o-of my guys.“ Jimmy added, looking even more worried than yesterday. Honestly, no wonder. It could have been any of them, even him or Timmy. But what were they supposed to do now? The least they could do was at least find he bodies, even if it was irrational and dangerous.

„Well, shit.“ Eric sat down, sighing and looking over Kyle who has been unusually quiet so far. He looked like he was in deep thought. Weird, he always had something to say normally.

„What I wanna know is, did anyone else see or hear something weird?“ Stan asked.

„I.. I heard footsteps!“ Tweek looked really shaky and paranoid, only clutching his cup of coffee as a way of comfort. Maybe he shouldn't be here if he was so freaked out, but he insisted that it was important to uncover these crazy things and besides, Jimmy was his friend too.

„So did I.“ Kyle finally looked at them.

„What? Why didn't you wake me up? Or at least tell me in the morning?“ Kyle looked back at his boyfriend, shrugging. Honestly, he didn't know. He thought he could handle it if some kind of murderer was coming, but what happened was really unexpected. He really didn't know how to go about this one.

„I don't know... It's like, I heard the door opening and then footsteps and then I felt this really cold hand on my face and when I opened my eyes there was no one. I double checked. Not even the door was open. I thought I was hallucinating or dreaming or something.“ Everyone kind of just stared at Kyle, not knowing what to say to that kind of experience. Sure, they expected creepy shit, but this was way too real. What if Kyle was the one abducted last night? What would they have done then?

„Jimmy...“ Stan turned his gaze towards the boy. „Do you know about the people who lived here before us?“

„S-S-Sure. I-I-In fact, there's their documents upstairs.“

 

The four boys made their way upstairs, saying that they would handle the digging through papers part. It wasn't particularly amusing, but it sure beat the sitting around being tense part. If this place wasn't haunted, then it surely would be nice to live in. The ceiling was huge, even as they walked into the upper floor and pushed one of the heavy wooden doors, entering some sort of office, the walls just covered with endless shelves of books, with only a simple, dusty typewriter on a giant wooden desk and a big armchair. It looked really fancy, despite it being decades old. Kyle approached the desk first, shuffling through the cupboard to pull out two passports and two identity cards. Two of them were American, with typical English names and the pictures of the same two women on the photos. It all seemed normal enough, until he fished out another two little books, colored in red with golden writing. CCCP. His heart broke. The same girls, but he guessed these were their real names.

„Daniela Bosňáková and Natália Dúšková.“ Kyle read them out loud, although his accent made it hard. He didn't know how to read the weird symbols above some of the letters either.

„What kind of fucking names are that?“

„Slovak, apparently.“ He looked over the details on the passport while Kenny came back towards the desk, holding some kind of papers and looking over them.

„Look at what I found.“

„Something that's gonna tell us more?“ Eric guessed.

„Yeah. This mansion might not have been abandoned for 100 years like Jimmy said, but now I'm pretty sure they did die here.“ Kenny nodded as he started reading the letter.

 

„ _For whoever might read this, know that I lived a happy life._

_Or well, I tried to. Girls like me, girls like Natália – we were born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Let me tell you something about me. I was born into a big family with three sisters and two brothers. I had a passion for writing. I was always interested in fantasy stories with all different kinds of monsters and supernatural beings. Weird for a girl, sure, but my family was happy enough with my interests and love for learning. I learned English, German, Spanish and Swedish by the time I was 18. They did say I was talented and had potential, but my passions always lied in the arts._

_Now, let me tell you about Natália. She was considered uneducated, only speaking her mother tongue and she only lived with her grandmother, having no other family left. Despite everything, she was always smiling. I swear to the gods, she was a form of art, but she also lived for art, just like me. She painted. She painted so many pictures that they could cover up all the walls of this ridiculously big mansion. In fact, she did paint all those naked women on the wall of my office. It was like she never ran out of inspiration and happiness, even when times seemed their darkest. She was different from me, but she also completed me._

_I loved her._

_I wanted to love her, I wanted to yell out my love for her to the entire world, but I couldn't. It was when we turned 20, born in the same year, that Josef Stalin rose to power. I remember it as clear as day, the year was 1929 and all I could feel was a disgusting sense of dread. I knew this man was evil and I knew he hated people like us. People who wanted to create and love freely. People who wanted to see the world, taste adventure. People who believed in things bigger than themselves, things bigger than the universe itself, whether it was a God, or the ancient gods. People who could look beyond physical appearances and love others with their whole beings. I fully believe that this man didn't know love._

_It was an impulse, really, but as soon as we saw his love for power and controlling the people of Russia and his action towards Ukraine in 1932, we packed up and we fled the Union. It wasn't easy and it was scary, but stories promised us a land of freedom and it was America._  
_Naturally, we had to go into hiding, living under false names and in this old mansion. We made quite the bit of money from selling our art and books. Still, who would have thought our freedom would be this short lived?_

 _Cancer. This disease was killing her and there was nothing I could do other than stare at her pale face as all the life in her simply... left._  
_I'm thankful for the seven years we got to spend living life together, but I can't live without her. Maminka, ocinko, if you ever find out what happened to me, I'm sorry._

_I can't live without her._

_She is my life, moja duša._  
  
_\- Daniela Bosňáková._ “

 

As Kenny finished, silence took over the room. They didn't know what to say and they sure didn't expect to find a letter like this. They were just trying to search this room for whatever clue on a deity they could find, but now they were left stunned. Kenny was the first one to speak up, trying to light up the mood.

„Heh, we better hide this letter from Clyde, he would definitely cry.“

„Yeah...“ Kyle nodded before his attention was caught by none other than Eric who walked off towards the tall shelves full of books. More specifically, the ones with her name on them. Taking one out, he stared back at them.

„She did say she was into all this mythology bullshit, right? And she mentioned ancient gods. Maybe she wrote about them.“ Well, it sure looked like Eric had gotten into this whole trying to find the deity in this house concept.

„Shit, you're right. You think some spirits followed her all the way into America and are stuck here now? It would make sense, honestly.“

„Well, you gonna sit on your asses or help me? I sure as fuck ain't gonna read all this shit myself.“ At which Kyle rolled his eyes, but still got up and made his way towards the books. This was the best lead they could get and besides, there was no signal or internet connection here, so it's not like they had much of a choice, really.

 

Well, here goes nothing.

 


	45. Weeping loss for the end of time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao they all fucked

With books all over the floor, the boys sat in silence, letting the hours pass by while they studied the content of said books. Holy hell, she really did write a lot about the ancient gods and deities, huh? It was kind of hard to find their way through all of that folklore, but then Kyle finally gasped as he read the category in the book he was holding. Since it was so quiet, Kenny jumped, nearly getting a heart attack thinking he was going to die any second again. Fucking shit, he wasn't ready for that.

„What?!“ He asked, trying to determine what the fuck made Kyle gasp so loud from his expression. Then, Kyle read it.

„I found it. Spirits and demons.“

„Dude, don't scare me like that, I thought one was here.“ Kenny sighed and all of the boys looked confused as Kyle went through the list, looking even more dumbfounded than them.

„What?“ Eric asked, moving closer to take a look at the book.

„Most of them seem... pretty peaceful.“

„Well, is there any that abduct or kill people?“ Stan asked, letting Kyle read through.

„A few. Apparently Rusalkas lure men to their deaths, they can be like ghosts of women who comitted suicide or were killed near a lake. Sometimes Vodníci kill, depending if they're good or bad ones. But those are water spirits, is there any rivers anywhere near here?“

„As far as I know, no. There's none. Is there forest spirits?“

„Yeah. Like this one - _**Blud**_ _, one of the Slavic faeries in_ _Slavic mythology_ _, is an evil-deity that causes disorientation and leads a person aimlessly around and round._ “ Kyle stopped at that, everyone seemed to be deep in thought. If it was this...

„If it was one of those, then those guys might still be alive, just lost.“ Kenny suggested, but that might have been just wishful thinking.

„Well, here come the scarier parts. _In Slavic folklore,_ _ _ **Baba Yaga**__ _is a supernatural being who appears as a deformed and ferocious-looking old, elderly woman._ _ _Baba Yaga__ _flies around in a mortar, wields a pestle, and dwells deep in the forest in a hut usually described as standing on chicken legs, her fence is usually decorated with human skulls._ “

„Creepy.“ Muttered Stan.

„Ridiculous.“ Argued Eric.

„That's not all. _In many fairytales she kidnaps and eats children by usually roasting them in an oven._ “

„How... tasteful.“ Commented Kenny, shuddering at the thought of him ending up being kidnapped by a witch and roasted in an oven. Well, that would certainly be a new way of dying.

„Is there any other deity who specifically kidnaps people?“

„Yeah, one. But again, it dwells around riverbanks.“ Kyle turned the page back, reading that one too. „ _Children are frightened by_ _ **Bubak**_ _or hastrman who is portrayed as a man with a sack. He takes children and also adults, and is known for hiding by riverbanks and making a sound like a lost baby, in order to lure the unwary visitor. He weaves on nights when there is a full moon, making clothes for his stolen souls, and has a cart drawn by cats. My advice: try to steer clear of him at night!_ “

„There's a fucking warning?“ Kenny blinked.

„Yep.“

„When is the next full moon?“

„Tonight.“

„...We're not going to steer clear of him, am I right?“

„Yep.“ Kyle popped his lips, knowing that there was no way of avoiding this piece of shit situation. What the fuck did they get themselves into now? Gang wars were one thing, but evil foreign deities? 

 

Well, fuck.

 

„No, no, no.“ Craig exclaimed, immediately stepping into whatever crazy plan those two planned on dragging them into. 

„What now, Craig? Don't be a little bitch.“ Eric rolled his eyes, still not believing that anything this crazy could be going on in the first place. All they really needed was guns, find the fucker who pulled this shit and kill him. There. Done. Finished. It was as simple as that. 

„I'm not being a little bitch, but I'm not going into the forest to search for some weird ass disorientation spirit and a witch on top of all that.“

„Why?“ Eric asked as calmly as possible, not getting why he was being such an asshole.

„Why? Because that's the sure way to get fucking killed. So, instead of this, we switch places. You dicks can go deep into the forest to get murdered by crazy maniacs or cannibals or whatever and in the meantime, my group will get the fuck out into safe clearings, searching for some kind of river or lake. I'm honestly not feeling up for some crazy shit adventure, like what happened in Peru.“

„That's some pussy shit, Tucker.“ Kenny moaned.

„Eat my asshole, McCormick.“

„Fine, fine. If it bothers you this much, we will be the heroes and you girls can go night time swimming.“ Eric sighed, getting up and pulling out his guns to get ready. 

 

Sure, they didn't want to go into the creepy forest at night either, who in their right fucking mind would? Craig was right, it would have felt safer walking around clearings rather than inside the actual forest. Honestly, as they walked around, flashlights in one hand, weapons in the other and leaves and sticks crunching beneath their feet in the dark, it did creep them out. Along with the occasional chilly breeze on their backs, that didn't help calm their nerves either. Kenny looked the most panicked out of everyone, just looking around frantically, trying to predict whatever was going to kill him. And yes, he was going to get killed.

 

He could feel it in his bones.

 

„Dude, I did dig up my dead grandmother before, but this shit feels creepier.“

„Kyle, what the fuck?“ Eric suddenly looked over at Kyle, not expecting to hear something like that out of nowhere.

„We were 8 and these older kids were trying to scare us, so we dug up my grandma's body to try and scare them back.“

„How did that go?“

„Well, first we lost the body and my mom thought it was a necrophiliac. But then a dog threw her up in front of everyone and well, we did manage to freak them out.“

„Well, fuck me.“

„Yeah, come to think of it, we did dig up Michael Jackson's corpse as well.“

„...Why?“

„He was possessing my little brother so we needed to prove to him he was dead. He said we were ignorant and then we had to dress up Ike as a child beauty pageant. It was the weirdest shit, like for days Ike kept seeing celebrity ghosts and running to me screaming 'make Billy Mays go away!'“

„WHAT? THE BILLY MAYS?“ Eric immediately jumped at that, not really giving a shit about Ike being possessed by the ghost of Michael Jackson rather than his idol, the one and only, Billy Mays.

„I don't even wanna know, dude.“ Kyle sighed, honestly not wanting to hear why, out of everything, he only focused on that dead sales guy. 

„Dude, what the fuck?“ Kenny pointed his flashlight at a particularly giant tree with something that looked like a hole, or rather a door they could walk into. Kyle was the first one to approach it, crouching down and slowly moving inside, only seeing hollow walls of the tree all around him.

„Dude, there's nothi-- FUCK!“ The redhead yelped as the earth beneath him collapsed, falling down beneath the ground suddenly. 

„KYLE!“ The redhead rubbed his head, only hearing their voices muffled, as they were overpowered by something else making noise right in front of him. His eyes widened, staring ahead in disbelief.

„What the fuck...?“

 

On the other hand, Craig, Tweek, Token and Clyde seemed to be less freaked out. Hell, even Tweek felt calmer knowing that he was in a much safer location, holding his boyfriend's hand. It was a good thing he argued with the guys. He felt bad for them for having to go into the forest, but he wasn't sure if his paranoia could handle that. Besides, Craig said that there was no way anything like a Bubak could possibly exist. Rather than searching for paranormal things, they were looking around for bodies and/or the one responsible for their disappearances. Convinced that whoever kidnapped them was human calmed the twitchy blonde a great deal. Suddenly though, the boys stopped, looking down at a peaceful looking small lake with a tree towering right over it, the surface glistening in the pale moonlight and sparkling up a storm. Tweek jumped back at that sight and Craig sighed, not expecting to see a lake here at all.

„Calm down, Tweek. This is too far away from the mansion. I'm pretty sure some ghost wouldn't bother going all the way back and forth to kill people.“ 

„Yeah, calm down Tweek.“ Clyde started, grinning. „Besides, how about that night time swimming?“ Token rolled his eyes at that, of course Clyde would think of that in this situation. Craig tried shining the light inside the lake, but to no avail. They couldn't determine whether the bodies of those who disappeared were inside just by staying up here and looking. Craig gave one of the longest sighs ever yet before he started taking off his clothes all the way down to his underwear and handing them to Tweek.

„That's the spirit!“ Clyde exclaimed.

„Stay here and be on the lookout. We might have found our missing guys.“ Craig grabbed one of the flashlights, hoping to god they were waterproof and simply diving in. It took a bit of time to recollect himself and know where he was looking at, finding it hard to see in a lake even with light. Surprisingly enough, the ground seemed to be mostly clean as Craig only saw rocks, but then he jerked back as he turned around and stared into the face of a skull. Simple white dress and long hair, most of it already fallen out. If it was a skeleton, it must have been here a long time. Could it have been the owner of the mansion? Kyle did say that she killed herself, but there was no mentions of how or where. Determining that this was enough snooping around for now, Craig resurfaced for air again, looking over at his friends.

„Well, I think I found that dead foreign chick-- Guys? What are you staring at?“ From their side, all they saw was what appeared to be crying woman with dead white skin hanging from the branch over the lake, her blood red hair shining in the moonlight and falling right on top of Craig's head.

„...Guys?“

 

 


	46. Gone home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bc the lyrics are in czech i advise you to listen to the song to get a feel for what it's about  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qul0b3e631k

„Craig!“ Craig looked up, catching the gaze of the woman and immediately moved away from under her hair, shuddering at the thought of her having been there above him. He didn't even feel her hair until he noticed her, what the fuck? His heart raced as he stared straight at her, but instead, she was gazing at his friends, more specifically Clyde. In that second, something clicked and suddenly all they could hear was a soft voice as she opened her mouth, a very intense, hypnotic melody filling the air straight into the sky, the full moon raining onto her ballad, speaking of words and hurt they couldn't understand even if they were of the same language.

 

„ _Měsíčku na nebi hlubokém,_  
_světlo tvé daleko vidím._  
 _Po světe bloudíš širokém,_  
 _díváš se v příbytky lidí._ “

 

All they could feel was the tension, the heavy feeling of her singing, that is until Clyde stepped forward, staring straight into her eyes.

„Clyde? What are you doing?“ The boy ignored them, continuing on his way towards the lake and stepping into it fully clothed without uttering any words. It was as if she put a spell on him.

„Clyde, what the fu--“ Craig was suddenly interrupted as he saw the woman dive into the lake and out of nowhere, the blood red hair surfaced and wrapped around Clyde, forcing him underwater and disappearing in seconds.

„Shit!“ Craig dived back in, seeing only what seemed to be an image straight out of a movie or even a fairy tale, thick hair floating all around them as her fingertips stroked along his cheeks. Clyde was struck with panic, realizing what was actually happening now that he was underwater, trying to get away, tugging at the hair with Craig's help. It seemed impossible, it seemed like he was going to drown with her singing being the last thing he heard. He could hear it as clear as day, it filled his mind and his soul. It was hard trying to struggle away.

 

„ _Měsíčku, postůj chvíli,_  
_řekni mi, řekni_  
 _kde je má milá._ “

 

„What the fuck do we do?!“ Token panicked before he noticed Tweek bring out the book the boys showed them before they left. The blonde boy skimmed through it with shaky hands so roughly and fast that he almost ripped the pages.

„There has to be a way to stop her!“ Tweek was determined. If it was alive, they could kill it, but she obviously wasn't. They needed to find a way to stop her really fast, otherwise Clyde would be done for. Finally, he spotted the name that Kyle briefly mentioned, finding the description to be the most accurate and tapping on the slightly crumpled page.

„Her main purpose is to lure young men, seduced by either her looks or her voice, into the depths of waterways where she would entangle their feet with her long red hair and submerge them. Her body would instantly become very slippery and not allow the victim to cling on to her body in order to reach the surface.“ Tweek quickly skimmed through it, reading the text until his eyes reached what he was looking for. „This undead rusalka is not invariably malevolent, and would be allowed to die in peace if her death is avenged.“

„Avenged?! We don't have time for that!“

„Didn't they say she seemed to love her homeland, but had to flee because of a dictator?“

„Yeah, so?“

„Token, pull them up both!“

„Fuck! I hope you have a plan!“ Token screamed, not wasting any time on taking his clothes off as he dove right, finding his way towards his friends and making eye contact with with Craig, giving him a look that said Tweek knew what he was doing, so when Token started pulling up Clyde with the weight of the spirit at his feet, Craig joined in. Despite being in water, it was unusually hard to pull Clyde up.

 

„ _O mně- li, duše lidská sní,  
ať se tou vzpomínkou vzbudí._ “

 

Those were the last words Clyde heard before his friends pulled him up onto the ground, the music in his head abruptly stopping as he coughed and gasped for air. Without time to catch a break, the woman resurfaced as well, towering right above Clyde, her hair never letting go of him as she was ready to drag him back down before she abruptly stopped at the sharp light of a modern phone screen shining into her eyes. It was a language she recognized. Her mother tongue. She carefully read the letters.

„Josef Stalin... Date of death... 5th of March, 1953.“ All the boys kind of shuddered at hearing the voice of a dead woman talking in English, without the accompanying music of sure death and all.

„It's the year 2017 now.“ Tweek softly spoke, catching her attention as she lifted her head up to look at him.

„What about the USSR?“ Tweek opened another article, showing it to her.

„1989. They called it the Velvet Revolution. The rest of the Union fell and ceased to exist in January 1992.“

„We are free?“

„Yes.“

„I can go home?“

„You can go home.“ Tweek whispered, smiling at seeing the pure joy and relief in the spirit's eyes as her physical appearance suddenly fell apart and all that was left was a bunch of water and lotus flowers falling down on top of Clyde's chest, even the hair disappearing and finally freeing Clyde from her grasp.

„Holy shit...“ Clyde sat up, rubbing his face and eyes in shock. „This just happened, right? I wasn't hallucinating, right?“

„No, fuck me, it happened.“ Craig muttered, reaching towards his clothes and fishing out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of it. He needed to calm his nerves. They really did just see that. They really did just free a spirit and sent her home before she could kill them all. That happened. Well fuck him, wanting to take the safer path and everything.

„You think she killed Jimmy's guys?“ Token asked, catching Craig's attention.

„No, nobody would walk out this far for no reason. And there was only her corpse.“ On one side, it was a relief, it meant that they couldn't confirm the death of the missing guys, but on the other hand...

„Wait...“ Tweek started, his eyes widening in sudden realization. „If we found an actual spirit here, then what are the others going to find deep inside the forest?“

„Fuck this.“ Craig groaned, puffing out the smoke and rubbing his forehead. He was starting to get a migraine. He didn't even want to know what the others got themselves into.

 

„Fuck this.“ Eric suddenly exclaimed, turning around on his heel and and trying to find a way to climb back up. They all spontaneously jumped down to protect Kyle from whatever this was, but what they found, they couldn't unsee. The rest of them just stared straight ahead, frozen in shock with their jaws falling open.

„Hey, what are humans doing here?“ A high pitched voice asked, Kyle's gaze falling down onto the floor where he saw what appeared to be an actual gnome talking to him. Kyle rubbed his eyes before looking down at his insulin pump to check if he ran out and was actually in a diabetic coma at this moment.

„We're leaving, don't worry.“ Eric waved, still trying to climb back up, not wanting to admit that this ridiculous display was what was actually happening. They were pushing carts and there was a huge pile of underpants in the middle. If this could be real, he would rather go home and kill himself.

„How about you join us?“ The gnome asked.

„Nah, miss me with that shit.“ Eric replied.

„Alright, you little pussy.“

„Ay! Don't call me a pussy, you pussy!“ Eric was just about to bring out his gun and shoot the little fuck, though suddenly he stopped when Kyle snapped back to reality, he saw miniature people behind what appeared to be bars.

„Dude,“ Kyle began. „Isn't that the missing guys?“

„Dude, it is.“ Stan double checked the photos he saved on his phone of everyone who went missing.

„Oh, fuck! Look out!“ Another high pitched voice screamed from above them before an actual mine cart filled with underpants fell right on top of Kenny, killing him.

„Holy shit! We killed your friend!“ The other gnome yelled.

„You bastards.“ Kyle exclaimed calmly, continuing to talk. „Why are you keeping those guys behind bars?“ The reaction probably looked the weirdest to the gnomes, but at this point, neither Stan nor Kyle really reacted to Kenny's deaths anymore. It's just what happened with the curse. They didn't remember his deaths, but somehow they started to subconsciously know. Even if the always forgot, seeing him die so many times got them used to the image. It was nothing new to them anymore, even if it looked that way.

„Well, they wanted to kill us so we shrank them and locked them away.“

„Why did they want to kill you?“

„Because we were stealing their underpants.“

„Why were you stealing their underpants?“

„Because we are underpants gnomes.“ Kyle just kind of stared at the gnome, trying to find a way to understand this.

„Why?“ He asked again after taking a minute to think over it, but being unable to come up with a better question.

„Phase 1: Collect underpants. Phase 2: ?. Phase 3: Profit.“

„Oh, I get it!“ Eric suddenly commented.

„No you don't, fatass.“ Stan immediately barked back, frowning. This was getting way too unreal for him as well.

„What's phase 2?“ Kyle asked, the gnome staring back for a while before turning away and screaming at one of his other gnome friends.

„Hey! What's phase 2?“

„Phase 1, we collect underpants!“

„Yeah, yeah! But what about phase 2?“ Suddenly, the other gnome quietened down as well.

„It doesn't matter.“ Kyle interrupted them. „What we really came here for is to get those guys back. I'm sorry they tried to kill you, but we need them.“

„I'm not sure I can just do that.“

„How about we kill you?“ Eric pulled out his gun, before Kyle lowered his hand in annoyance.

„How about we pay you?“ The redhead suggested instead and it did seem to work better than the threat.

„Give us your underpants then.“

„Guys?“ Kyle looked over both Stan and Eric, giving them one of those very specific looks. Needless to say, one look was all it took for them to grumpily turn around and start taking off their pants, muttering under their breath.

„You too, daywalker.“ The gnome demanded.

„I can't.“

„Why?“

„I'm... not wearing boy's underpants.“ He shyly spew out, his face turning red.

„What are you, a faggot?“ The gnome asked in all seriousness.

„GIVE ME THE GUN!“ Kyle suddenly snapped, it took Stan everything he had to hold him back. On the other hand, Eric was still up for the shooting part.

 


	47. We live and die by the great design

„Aw, come on, Kyle. Nothing to be embarrassed about.“ Stan tried to calm his best friend down, though his words fell on deaf ears. If there was anything Kyle didn't expect to do tonight, it would be to strip down from his panties in front of a bunch of gnomes and Jimmy's guys in order to free them. Ridiculous.

„Yeah, don't worry, I recorded it all.“ Eric commented with a grin, practically bathing in Kyle's glorious embarrassment. Fuck, he looked so cute all red like that. Though Eric did make sure to send warning glares towards Jimmy's guys, you know, just in case they thought they had any chance. Because they didn't.

„What the fuck? Delete it!“

„Nah.“ Too bad Kyle was so tiny compared to his boyfriend, otherwise he might have just been able to snatch the phone away from him without trying to climb him. Well, at least they looked cheerful and their mission was a success. Craig would be satisfied knowing that he didn't have to deal with this situation, right? He would finally be able to shut the fuck up and not complain about being dragged into bullshit, right?

 

Wrong.

 

The sight they were greeted with wasn't very... pleasant. It only got worse once Jimmy's guys came inside as well, all happy and cheerful about being back and having made a deal that the gnomes would leave them alone for good. Along with some other reasons of course. Eric's face immediately froze upon seeing that familiar glare of Craig's. That dark look, furrowed eyebrows, it gave many people chills to see him pissed like that, especially since Craig usually didn't show any emotion at all. A lot of the time people forgot that Craig's face wasn't just permanently frozen, so seeing anything else felt unnatural.

„What now?“ Eric finally asked after they stared at each other for a good 10 seconds, finally sitting down on the couch in front of them while Jimmy and Timmy rejoiced with the rest of the gang, showing gratitude over having their members back. It only seemed to make the situation between him and Craig worse.

„I see you had a nice trip.“ Craig finally commented, never breaking eye contact, but neither did Eric.

„And I see you took my advice and went night swimming, so what's the problem?“ As amusing as it was to see Craig, Clyde and Token all half naked with wet hair, he couldn't allow himself to laugh just yet. Not unless he wanted Craig to snap and start a fist fight with him. Funnily enough, Craig learned how to fight from him when they were kids, but now he fought well enough to actually compete and probably cause a mess here.

„The problem is, this place is fucking haunted.“

„No shit.“

„No shit? Do you know what the fuck I saw?“

„Gnomes?“

„What?“

„What?“

„No, you dipshit,“ Craig grabbed the book about the mythological creatures and threw it on the table. „this shit. It's fucking real. We freed the fucking spirit of the girl that lived here. She became a fucking rusalka and nearly drowned Clyde.“ While Craig was ranting, Eric took the book to list through it, his eyes falling on the deity that Craig was talking about.

„Why did she want Clyde of all people?“

„How the fuck should I know? Probably because he's fucking easy and a pervert.“

„Touché.“

„Ow.“ Clyde commented quietly as Token snorted.

„Well,“ Craig continued. „I hope you had to fight a fucking dragon in order to get those guys back because I might lose it right here and now.“

„Nope. We met underpants gnomes and paid them with our underpants to return the guys back and leave Jimmy's gang alone.“ Craig kind of just quietened down and stared at that, rubbing his head and trying to determine whether Cartman was being a piece of shit right now or telling the truth. Knowing him, he was being a piece of shit, but knowing their fucking luck, it was also true.

„You must be shitting me.“

„Nope. Look here.“ Eric took out his phone, playing the video in which Kyle, unfortunately, had to strip down in front of what seemed to be an army of actual gnomes. They even dressed like garden gnomes. Still, what caught his attention more...

„Kyle wears panties?“

„Yeah.“

„Stop it!“ Mention the devil, he was already there to snatch the phone away and scold his dumbass boyfriend.

„I wanna see too!“ A familiar voice demanded, orange parka shining brightly as the front door was slammed open, along with some warm rays of sunshine shining through for the first time in that morning. They did spend all night looking everywhere and they were all honestly tired. Except for Kenny, he looked like he just woke up from the best sleep ever. As refreshed as always, at least on the outside.

„Kenny, where were you?“ Stan asked, not remembering him being there.

„I got lost. I thought I saw a naked girl with huge titties. Must have been my imagination.“

„...The rusalka would have killed him and succeeded.“

„Yep.“

„Definitely.“ Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, there was no denying the fact that Kenny would willingly drown himself for a chance at grabbing a girl's tits, whether she was the cursed spirit of a dead woman or not. Didn't matter. Boobies mattered.

 

Just out of curiosity, Kyle grabbed the book and sat away from the bickering group to find some quiet, going through the pages and reading through each deity carefully. If one was real, surely other ones had to be real too. Come to think of it, there were household spirits, right? The redhead carefully turned the page, remembering where the category was and his eyes fell on the name, his heart clenching with each letter he took in.

 

_Traditionally, every house is said to have its own domovoi who lives either in the stove, under the threshold, in the cattle shed, or in the stables._

 

Every single one? This one too?

 

_The domovoi is also an oracle, as his behavior foretells or forewarns about the future. The touch of the domovoi is a harbinger. If his furry hand feels warm, good fortune is indicated; however, if his touch is icy cold, misfortune is coming._

 

Kyle's heart seemed to break at the last sentence, feeling fear take over his soul. Misfortune? What kind of misfortune? And why would a spirit bother to tell him? Was it that significant? Honestly, he didn't know what to do, he already felt panic when he first felt that icy cold hand and now, knowing that these spirits were real around this place and one warned him about something was... unsettling. They had just gotten over the whole Heidi drama, they wanted to get away from it all for a little while, wanted to forget what kind of lives they were leading. Especially now, ever since their faces became well known all over the internet due to the leaked sex tape and more attention given to them quickly taking over most of Colorado. They wanted to ignore it for a little bit longer because they know they couldn't really run away from the exposure forever. But it was a good thing as well, they were on the right path to Eric's dream. He wanted to reign Colorado. With the media on their side, they could turn it into an advantage, make sure everyone fears them and doesn't try anything. They just need to be more careful, but they knew that. They knew what risks it would bring to take over an entire state. His mama did it, he could do it too.

 

Breathe in, breathe out. Just like she always said. Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to, bubbeh.

 

It were moments like these when he wished he could still depend on her. It was annoying when he was a kid and she made all the choices for him, but somehow she always managed to protect him from the worst, always had good intentions, raised him into a strong man. Even if she could be scary at times and go kind of insane and she didn't really understand some of the things he did, she always loved him and with time even learned to trust her little baby to do choices on his own. Now here he was, thinking of how good it was when he just left everything to her. God, people would always end up wanting the opposite, huh? Right now he just wanted to go home, honestly. Clear his head. Because everything would be okay in the end. Everything was going to turn out the way it was always supposed to. There was no reason to feel scared. He was strong.

 

„Kyle, you're not sleeping.“ Kenny whispered softly as they traveled along what seemed to be an empty road with nothing but trees and mountains in sight for hours, aiming back home. It was so quiet. Kyle kept staring at his phone screen for the past hour, until he finally caught signal and all his accounts were spammed by the messages, e-mails and even some calls he missed while they were out of reach for the week.

„I feel like this is the way I have to take.“ Kenny looked into the mirror, reflecting Kyle's tired and scared eyes.

„Don't worry. Everything will turn out--“

„The way it's supposed to. I know. Do you believe in fate?“

„I believe we were all designed to play our part in this world.“

„So do I.“

 


	48. I pledge alliegance to my dad

„You look like shit.“

„Thanks, Ike.“ The fat boy responded, yawning and throwing himself onto the couch beside the Canadian devil. Kenny's car was shit and so was the road, resulting in him waking up quite a lot during their journey. Kyle seemed to be worse of somehow. Eric noticed those dark circles under his eyes, it's as if he hadn't slept the entire trip back home. He asked him what was wrong, but Kyle was quick to find an excuse. It was easy to see through the Jew's lies, but he wasn't going to push it. Once he wants to tell him what the fuck's going on up in his brain, he will. They would just get into a fight if he pushed it. And maybe it was really nothing, or maybe something stupid. Kyle did tend to worry about stupid things now that he thought about it.

„What happened anyway?“

„Oh, nothing interesting.“

„Bullshit.“

„Seriously.“

„Kyle told me you were in drag. Again.“

„Oh yeah? Kyle also put on a strip show for a bunch of strangers.“

„It wasn't a strip show!“ The angry redhead yelled from across the room, making sure to throw a pillow straight into Eric's face. „And you weren't complaining when you were recording it!“

„I'm not complaining now either.“ Eric muttered, tossing the pillow aside as he mindlessly stared into the TV, showing some weird ass political discussion. This kid was fucking weird.

„Aren't you supposed to be watching Winnie the Pooh or some shit?“

„Aren't you supposed to be watching cooking channels, you fat fuck?“ Ike calmly replied, completely blocking out Cartman's existence right beside him from there out.

„Ay!“

„Ike, where's mom and dad anyway?“ Kyle finally came back into the living room, his hair still damp from the shower, but looking comfortable enough in an oversized sweater that came nearly down to his knees and fell off one of his shoulders. Fuck, he looked hot. The fact that he straight up walked over to sit down into Eric's lap didn't help either.

„They said they were going to visit relatives and I should wait home for you.“

„How long will they be gone?“

„Should be back in two days.“

„Two days alone, huh?“ Eric whispered into Kyle's ear, grinning as he stroked along his little boyfriend's thigh. It would be pretty sweet to have the house free like this, but somehow he forgot about Ike. At least until the little boy sat down into Kyle's lap and cuddled up against him, Kyle immediately forgetting about Eric's flirting and instead looking happy that his little brother still showed him love.

„All this space and you're all sitting on me.“ The fat boy commented.

„What space? You tale up half the couch.“ Ike replied again.

„Kyle, can you tell your little brother to stop roasting me?“

„No. It's funny.“

„God, I hate you guys.“

 

It felt very homely, especially when it was this quiet and there was nobody else in the house. No parents. He just couldn't help imagining what it would be like to have their own place, to live on their own. To get into bed together every night. To look at each other with such love every day. To have the stars shine from behind the window, a lamp lighting up their bedroom in a soft hue, giving enough light to see around, but not really brightening everything up. Not disrupting the intimacy that a shitty bed lamp brought. And Ike always interrupting them, always demanding attention... Well, Eric couldn't help wondering what it would be like to have a kid of their own.

„I got an offer.“ Kyle finally spoke up, dragging Eric out of his thoughts.

„What kind?“ Was Kyle finally ready to talk about what was bugging him?

„To go on a talk show for an interview. Talk about the sex tape. About us.“

„Do you wanna do it?“

„Do I have a choice?“

„Of course you do. We can tell everyone to fuck off and continue doing our own thing.“

„I know, but...“

„But what?“

„I wanna do this for you.“ Eric's eyes widened, he looked stunned for a second there, not really understanding what was going through Kyle's mind at the moment, but it still warmed up his heart.

„This is a great opportunity. We could become some of the most famous gang leaders. The publicity could do wonders in how other gangs see us. We might earn more respect and fear than we already have. Taking over Colorado could become the easiest thing, it could be easier than ever. You wanted to reign Colorado and if this helps, then I want to do it.“ Looking at Kyle right now felt weird. As if, for the very first time, he saw a side of him that he never imagined he could see. Or see on anyone, for that matter.

 

Don't get him wrong, Kyle had always been brave and determined and ready to do whatever it took to get what he wanted, but this was a different kind of determination. Not necessarily stronger, but... In those eyes he saw nothing but absolute loyalty and alliegance. Kyle was always full of love, but in this moment Eric could tell just how deep it was. Just how much he was loved. How this wasn't a lie. How there was no doubt about their relationship. In either of them. Eric carefully placed his hands on Kyle's cheeks then, pressing their foreheads together with a soft smile.

„You know it could go either way, right? If you do this, our lives might become more public than we want. It could turn on us.“ But Kyle was unfazed, his loyalty never quivered. Not before, not now, not ever.

„It's worth the risk. Besides, America has already seen me riding your dick, how more public could it get?“ Eric laughed at that, pressing a kiss to his lips and pulling away in mere seconds. These types of kisses were Kyle's favorite, they only lasted a little bit, but they always made his heart flutter, they felt so genuine and comforting. No matter the situation. He always felt so safe whenever Eric was so gentle towards him. But when was he not? He was honestly such a teddy bear of a boyfriend.

„As you said, we can get through anything together. Isn't that right?“

„Right.“

 

Nothing would change. They would get through anything, as long as they stayed together. That, he was sure of.

 

The bedroom door slowly creeped open, the little boy peeking through and first making sure that nothing indecent was happening inside before fully stepping in in his adorable onesie. Ah, he surely had the innocent look down, he could fool anyone who didn't really know him. It was probably a talent, especially if he decided to follow in his big brother's footsteps and get into gang fights.

„Can I sleep with you guys?“

„Of course, Ike. Come here.“ Kyle never refused these requests, always opening his arms for the little shit. It was cute enough, but Eric knew that Ike came in to make sure they wouldn't have sex that night. Eric couldn't blame him, Kyle tended to get very loud, it was probably traumatizing to hear. Like catching your mom fucking a stranger. Ah, yes. He had been there. Eric reached out to ruffle through the boy's hair, earning a confused look from him. What could he say? The little shit was growing on him. Besides, if they were going to have kids one day, he should get used to them demanding attention and interrupting shit.

 


	49. Misfortune in your fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck fhaouhsu

This is the big moment, Kyle thought to himself.

„Don't worry, you'll be fine.“

„I hope you're right.“

„Can't believe my best friend is about to bathe in fame.“

„Oh, shut up. I might be bathing in bullets if I fuck up.“

„Not with me by your side.“ Stan calmly replied, staring forward, but giving a small smile, knowing that those words were sure to calm Kyle down. As long as they were side by side like this, nothing could go wrong. They had been best friends forever, through thick and thin. They trusted each other with their lives and God help anyone who dared come between them. Not even Wendy or Eric could tear them apart from each other. If you decided to date Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh came with the package. It was the same the other way around.

„Now go, make me proud.“ Stan finally spoke, placing a hand on his back and pushing him forward.

 

Lights, cameras, a huge crowd. Never did he think he would find himself in a situation like this, it was all so surreal and blinding at first, he didn't even know if his makeup looked good in this light. He did have to keep up his image. He started this and he got enough attention to be recognized, enough attention that it got him here. Anxiously, the redhead walked forward, sitting down onto the little couch beside the table where the talkshow host usually sat. Honestly, these shows looked so different from the TV, everything looked so perfect and set up, but seeing it first hand, it was actually very messy and pretty uncomfortable to concentrate. He didn't know how all those celebrities did it, but he was going to have to. He agreed to come here.

 

„Hello, America.“ A cheery voice erupted from the host. „Today, we have a very special host here, he took over social media in mere seconds, giving us a very direct look into his love life. Here we have Kyle Broflovski!“ The crowd cheered as the cameras turned on Kyle, the boy giving his best effort to stay calm and put on a smile.

„Hello, I'm happy to be here.“

„So, Kyle, other than a pretty face, we found out that you're a gang leader. A pretty fast growing one at that. You took over 80% of Colorado over the last month, that's impressive.“

„Thank you.“

„Whose idea was it?“

„My fiancé's. He came up with the idea of taking over Colorado and I'd do anything for him.“ Apparently, everyone seemed to like that answer, as a hearty 'awww' filled the room.

„How sweet. So your fiancé, the one in the video, right?“

„Right.“

„And the one on your tattoo – Eric Cartman, right?“

„Oh yeah.“ Kyle nodded, giving a slight chuckle at the memory of when he was getting that tattoo, thinking of Eric here helped him feel less nervous.

„How long have you two been together?“

„Something over 6 months now, I believe. We kind of took interest in each other since the very first time we met, but we only started being friends after having our first gang war with each other. The South Park girls made me their leader and they hated him, so I was there to kick his ass.“

„What a romance, from enemies to lovers! But I want to ask you something we are all wondering about and the reason you're here. What's the story behind the video? Why did it take over every possible page on the internet?“

„Well, to start off, there was a girl that came back to South Park and she used to date Eric before he realized he was gay and didn't have any feelings for her. So she threatened him with leaking out something about me the world shouldn't know.“

„You two split up for a while?“

„Yeah, it was the first time I really felt heartbroken. Anyway, she tried to kill me by poisoning me, but she made the mistake of leaving before checking if I really died. My friends saved me and I hacked into the program that was supposed to be used against me. I replaced it with our sex tape.“ Kyle looked very proud as he spoke, eyes sparkling with victory. Oh, yeah. Nobody was going to fuck with him again, or else...

„Where is the girl now?“

„Dead.“ A smirk grew on Kyle's face, all of his anxiety falling off in that moment. He felt powerful and he would let the world know that. May they all fear him.

„Beautiful!“ Loud applause filled the room, everyone seeming so impressed with him, so enticed by his raw power, his strength. Still, the host continued. „I would also love to know if we are right to assume that Sheila Broflovski is related to you?“

„She's my mom.“

„So that's where you got your look from, right? I knew it looked familiar. It's like one legend brought another.“

„I do idolize her a lot, I love my mom.“

„That's really adorable. Kyle, tell us more about yourself, other than gangs, is there any other hobbies or talents you have?“

„Well, I do like rap.“

„Do you rap?“

„Sometimes.“

„Please, go ahead.“ The host handed Kyle a microphone, Kyle taking it carefully, but immediately recognizing the tune of the song playing. Holy Nicki. Well, fuck it. He might as well.

„ _Pull up in the monster_  
_automobile gangster_  
 _with a bad bitch that came from Sri Lanka_  
 _yeah I’m in that Tonka, colour of Willy Wonka_  
 _you could be the King but watch the Queen conquer.“_

 

Rough fingers tapped against the tiny table, hateful eyes staring onto the small TV screen hanging up from the wall. Tap, tap, tap. Not even the noise of the other people talking and walking around could bring him out of his daze.

 

„ _Kyley on them titties when I sign it_  
_Got these daddies so one-track-minded_  
 _But really, really I don't give a F-U-C-K_  
 _Forget Barbie, fuck Kyley cause she's fake_  
 _She on a diet but her pockets eating cheesecake_  
 _And I'll say bride of Chucky is child's play_  
 _Just killed another weak bitch, it's a mild day.“_

 

His eyes seemed nearly hypnotized, not even blinking as they fell on the tattoo on Kyle's stomach. Eric Cartman. The name echoed inside his head like a scream in the dark. Eric Cartman. That name that made his blood boil and his brows furrow in pure rage. Eric Cartman...

 

„ _Red hair, thick ass, give 'em whiplash_  
_I think big, get cash, make 'em blink fast_  
 _Now look at what you just saw, this is what you live for_

_AHHH! I'M A MOTHERFUCKING MONSTER!“_

 

Kyle sat down with a huge, embarrassed smile, wiping his forehead and catching his breath, even the host looked impressed. Well, if this wasn't a great performance, then what was? He did good. Stan was right.

„Amazing performance! Is there anything you want to say to everybody watching?“

„I do.“ Kyle nodded, looking forward into the camera, his glance darkening with confidence, making sure every bitch on the planet knew and would remember these words.

 

„ _If you fuck with my man, you will wind up dead.“_

 

Suddenly, the tapping stopped, new words echoing inside his head as the bars behind him slid open loudly, other men taking a look at the officer who came in unexpectedly. He didn't even flinch, didn't look back as his face distorted into a crazed expression, thirsty for blood. Thirsty for that sweet, sweet payback.

„Trent Boyett, you're being released.“

 

Eric Cartman.

 

The name of the guy who took his childhood from him.

 


	50. Till death do us part

It was unusually warm today, the golden rays of the sun shining down upon their skin, upon the earth, upon the flowers gently weeping in the breeze. The wild flowers towered a good height, nearly coming up to Kyle's shoulders along with the uncut grass. It was no surprise, people rarely ever walked through this field. They were all alone, all alone in their little paradise. Eric smiled, bringing out his phone and pressing the record button. He wanted to keep this memory.

„Dude, this is ridiculous.“ Kyle commented, mocking the idea, but still proceeding to put the long, white veil into his hair. The lace pattern looked like something his grandmother would have loved to have as decoration. He still didn't understand how or why Eric thought of this, but fuck it, it was too cute to pass up. Even if he was forced into a white summer dress. It wasn't summer yet, but it sure was warm outside today.

„You wanna marry me or not?“ Eric complained, catching one of Kyle's looks. You know, the one's that signified just how done he was with his boyfriend.

„I do, but I thought we would do this traditionally, not by ourselves.“

„We will, but weddings usually go wrong a lot of the time. So we will have this memory for ourselves and it's gonna be perfect even if there's problems at our official wedding.“ Good enough reason. Kyle sighed, stepping forward towards his boyfriend, looking up at him with loving eyes. He couldn't believe Eric actually convinced him to do this, especially with the dress. It was quite a pathetic way of establishing his dominance in the relationship, but whatever. If it made him happy, Kyle would play along. He loved this dork. Eric's hand stretched out, his thumb stroking Kyle's cheek as the redhead gently took his hand, putting his fingers into his mouth and playfully sucking on them before letting them go, realizing the camera was still in his face.

„Where are we going anyway?“

„You'll see.“

 

„ _Where are you going anyway, Trent?“_

„ _To take revenge on those motherfuckers who put me in here in the first place.“_

 

„Kenny! Kenny!“ The panicked boy yelled, running into the house and desperately looking for Kenny.

„Butters, what the fuck?“ Kenny calmly asked, looking up from his porn magazine. Thankfully he wasn't jacking it yet, would have been a hella awkward situation otherwise.

„Where are Eric and Kyle?!“

„The fuck should I know? I think they went on some kind of date.“

„Where?!“ Now he was weirded out, Butters was always kind of startled looking, always so careful and shy, but this was outright panic. He didn't usually do this unless the situation was serious. Unless there was a real threat.

„I don't know, Butters. Tell me, what's going on?“ The poor boy's eyes widened as he realized he didn't even explain the situation yet. With fear in his eyes, he looked around, checking if it was still safe or if they should start running at once. Nothing yet.

„It's... it's Trent. He was released today.“

„What?!“ Kenny's magazine dropped from his hands as he immediately collected himself up from the bed, walking straight towards his toy box where he kept his weapons, taking out a rifle and checking if it was loaded.

„Kenny, what are we going to do?“

„Did you call that fat fuck?“

„I tried, I think his phone is on silent!“

„Dumbass. You need to hide.“

„You can't leave me alone, Ken!“

„I can't let him find us both either!“ Kenny looked very serious and direct in that moment, not usually taking this approach to things. Usually he was passive, watched from the side with the occasional sacrifice if it was needed to protect his friends, but this was a different story. He would have to find Trent before he found him. It was like the start of a hunting season, but sadly, he knew that there was no way he was going to be able to hunt Trent down.

 

Fuck.

 

It took big steps to walk through the high grass, almost feeling annoyed and ready to ask if Eric even knew where they were going. That is, before he took a good hard look forward and saw a synagogue beautifully standing in front of them. He stopped in his tracks, giving Eric a suspicious look.

„You do realize that this is not a church?“

„Fuck you, I know that this is your Jew church or whatever. I thought it'd make you happy.“ Kyle's expression softened, suddenly feeling his heart burn up at those words. Shit, he somehow always managed to make him this happy. He always ended up with this warmth enveloping his soul, feeling loved and like he belonged somewhere for the first time in his life. He couldn't imagine his life without his fatass anymore, that's why he always managed to drag him into these ridiculous schemes.

„Check if it's clear, I think it should be empty right now.“ Eric demanded, still set on recording this experience as he watched Kyle sneak up forward and peek into the building, gently creeping open the door. It seemed empty enough, in fact it looked like nobody was there in a while.

„It's clear.“ Kyle fully opened the doors now, stopping his whispering now that he knew it was safe. They're really doing this, he realized it only now, shaking his head to himself as Eric hurried inside to the front, only to see his future spouse walk forward, looking like an angel incarnate. God was real, the sight of Kyle walking forward with such happiness in his eyes convinced him of that. God was real and he brought him this ginger Jew from Jersey. Life was funny like that.

 

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Kenny stopped in his tracks, but the stomping didn't. His heart sank, he was searching the streets, but they were empty. He should have known he would be found first. He carefully listened, trying to determine how far away he was just from the sound, although it was hard to listen when he heard the radical beating of his heart inside his head. Kenny gulped down, making a ballsy decision to reach for his gun, but it was short-lived as he felt a sharp pain go through his hand, screaming and looking down only to see a knife sticking through it.

„FUCK!“ He grabbed his wrist, jumping away and turning around, looking at Trent. Kenny froze, he didn't feel as much pain as he felt fear in that moment. This wasn't the Trent he remembered, that angry kid. Oh no, he was much angrier, much stronger and much more determined. His dirty blonde hair shined, contrasting his black tattoos all over his arms, but most of all his smirk. Oh, yes. That was the face of a man who wasn't going to rest until all of them were dead.

„We meet again, McCormick.“

 

Eric placed his phone down, making sure it was still recording them before he turned to face Kyle, taking his hands gently and looking into his eyes.

„You're serious about this.“ Kyle commented, laughing to himself.

„I'm seriously. Anyway, not to be gay, but... You're the first person I've ever felt this much love for, I never even knew I was capable of that, but now I know I am. All thanks to you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to keep annoying you until we are all old and grumpy because we can't get it up anymore. You're like this light leading me out of stupid situations, I'm pretty sure I would have died ten times by now if it weren't for you. So if you don't mind, I would love it if you kept taking care of my sorry ass. I love you, Kyle. I will never feel this strongly about anyone else. I'll never be capable of loving anyone else with such intensity.“ Kyle quietly watched, never breaking eye contact with him, feeling so happy that some small tears managed to well up in his eyes. „So... Kyle Broflovski, will you take me, Eric Cartman, as your husband?“ It took a bit to recollect himself, but Kyle started speaking from his heart. He knew how weddings went, he saw some of his family members getting married before. He always thought it was such an unnecessary ceremony. At least until now.

„I, Kyle Broflovski, take you, Eric Cartman as my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health...“

 

„Trent, you don't have to do this! Please, leave us alone!“ Kenny begged, still gripping his hand. Even if he survived, the hand wouldn't heal. But he wasn't going to live and he knew this. Trent's unwavering expression told him so.

„Why the fuck should I?“

„I...“ Of course, he had nothing to say, nothing to defend himself with. Fuck, this was so fucked up. Even if somebody watched from their window, they weren't going to help him. The girls were out of town, protecting their newest turf. There was nobody on his side who could help.

„Thought so. You know how many years you fucks took from me?“

„I'm sorry! If I could take it back, I would!“

„But you can't.“ Trent reached for the knife, tearing it from Kenny's hand and watching as the blood gushed out. The screams seemed to satisfy him a great deal.

„Fuck you! I'll come back from the dead and get you next time!“ Kenny spat out, now looking more angry than scared. He knew Trent wouldn't believe this threat, but that was fine. Even if Trent killed all of his friends, he would keep coming back again and again to torture him for the end of time because of this fucking curse. He didn't want to keep dying over and over again at Trent's hands.

„Sure. Now goodnight.“ The knife slammed into his stomach, slowly sliding further down and slicing him open in an agonizing fashion. Blood and screams filled the streets, none of the random people giving enough of a shit to come out. It was just another death, another gang conflict. His guts spilling out in the middle of the road was nothing to be concerned about to strangers. Not in this world. Sometimes he thought about how it would be to be reborn into a different world with slightly different values and laws. Sadly, he was going to keep coming back here. Forever.

„K-K-...“

„Have anything to say?“

„K-Kyle w-will make you eat shit!“ Kenny spat out his blood onto the boy's face, although he looked unimpressed as he twisted the knife, finally managing to make the poor boy drop down.

„I'm hunting him, not the other way around...“ Trent muttered to himself, wiping the blood from his face and standing up without a care.

 

Soft lips touched, hands all over each other and they could feel their smiles as they kissed so gently, so lovingly, so desperately. They couldn't help themselves, they needed each other and needed to seal their love. Finally, Kyle recollected himself and finished his vow.

 

„Till death do us part.“

 


	51. Universe, disrupted

Till death do us part.

 

So it was said and so it shall be. In an endless universe filled with burning souls lighting the path of fate, their bond was born. An inseperable bond, charged with the energy of the Mind, the Heart and the Soul. Standing in front of the word of God, vowing their love, their loyalty, and their desire to always cling to each other until the end of time. Able to express the joyous fire burning them inside with the body only. The naked flesh, the shaky moans, the redness of the cheeks, the increasing heartbeat, the sting and the ecstasy – he'd never imagined being made love to in a holy place would ever feel this pure.

„Fuck...“

 

The stars aligned for them to meet.

 

„Fuck...“ The bleeding boy whispered with his last breath, staring up into the clouds, the tears in his eyes making it too blurry to make out any shapes. He liked stargazing, even in death. It all felt so peaceful once the numbness kicked in, once he couldn't feel his body anymore and his mind became enveloped with a dark nothingness, feeling as if he was leaving his body, leaving it for the cosmos and letting his physical form rot so he could rejoin his home among the stars. The best part about being dead was that he was free of all pain and everything was at peace, everything was the way it was supposed to be. That was, until his eyes met a raging fire, illuminating the emptiness of the world beyond with incredible force. It was as if two energies conjoined and became one after searching for each other for millions of years, recognizing each other, giving birth to something too powerful to comprehend.

 

The universe became disrupted.

 

It was a sudden pain in the chest that even Stan could feel. Something was wrong.

„Stan!“ The panicked boy ran in, not knowing where else to go or where to hide. He didn't know who else to come to, Stan was the only person still available. Kenny went off and he didn't know where Eric and Kyle were. They just had to disappear at the worst time imaginable.

„Butters? What's wrong?“ Butters looked terrified, he looked like he was ready to cry. If Kenny thought he looked like a mess before, then Stan must have thought he was completely done for.

„I-I...“ Butters stuttered, trying to find a way to explain what was going on, although it was hard due to the limited time he thought they had. Where could he even begin? This stuff went way back into their childhood.

 

Suddenly, fate decided to explain it for him as their phone screens lit up with a buzzing sound of a message from an unknown number. It looked like it was sent out massively among the town kids. All it contained was a link. Butters hesitated, but he got his answer as to what it was from Stan throwing his own phone aside and hurrying off into the bathroom to throw up. The blonde boy carefully looked at the phone screen, only catching a small sight of what appeared to be Kenny lying in the middle of the street with his guts spilling out, eyes completely dead and gone. He couldn't look at it, he immediately turned around, covering his mouth to hold in his sobs, but he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.

_God fucking dammit, Ken. Always trying to be the hero. We're not kids anymore, you know?_

 

Another buzz, this time it was a call from Eric. Butters picked it up with shaky hands, unable to hold back the soft sobs.

„H-He killed Ken--“ The boy stuttered out, not even waiting on any of Eric's questions.

„I saw. Who the fuck was it?“ Eric sounded angrier than Butters expected, for some reason he thought that the fat sociopath would take this better. He didn't know why, it was just a gut feeling, but apparently he was wrong.

„I-It was Trent... K-Kenny was trying to take him on--.. I wanted to stop him, but--“

„Listen here, Butters. You immediately take Stan and lock yourselves up in my basement. Explain to him about what the fuck's going on. We will be there as soon as we can, alright?“

„A-Alright.“ And he hung up with a sigh, turning around to look back at Kyle who was now frantically dressing himself back up.

 

„What the fuck is going on?!“ Kyle asked, unable to believe that Kenny got killed and they were presented with a picture of his dead body right after their... little wedding and other things. Well, this was certainly one way to ruin their honeymoon.

„Revenge, that's what's going on.“

„What's that supposed to mean?“

„Well, we have a history with this one guy.“

„Please...“ Kyle's voice softened as he sat back next to Eric, putting his hand over his. It was indication enough that Kyle wanted an explanation. An explanation he should get then.

„It all started back in kindergarten. We wanted to play firemen and we had this kid – Trent Boyett set a fire in the middle of the room. Stupid, I know. We thought we could put it out just by pissing on it, but obviously not.“

„So...?“

„The teacher tried to put it out, but it caught her skirt on fire. She burned alive, but survived.“

„Oh shit...“

„Yeah. We got out of it by putting the blame on Trent for starting the fire. He ended up being hauled off to jail in our place.“ Eric groaned, rubbing his temples in annoyance. This was fucking unreal. He couldn't believe this cockroach was out again.

„But that's a long time ago, why come out now?“

„Because he got out one time before and tried to kill us then too. That old kindergarten teacher was using this electronic wheelchair at the time or something. And I had a tazer on me to fend myself with since I couldn't find bullets for my gun in a hurry. I accidentally tazed the teacher and apparently her wheelchair went haywire all of a sudden and she just fucking ran into everything imaginable and ended up getting killed.“

„And you put the blame on that guy again?“

„Yep.“

„Oh my fucking God...“ Now it was Kyle's turn to rub his temples. This was too much. How anyone could get themselves into this kind of situation was beyond him. „You just happened to get caught up in committing a felony on school grounds, against a teacher nonetheless and blaming it on somebody else.“ If Kenny hadn't just died, he would have laughed. This world had a limited order when it came to crimes. The only places where crimes were punishable were government owned places and the only people whose deaths were punishable were public people such as teachers. They fucked up big time, to say the least.

„I know. Now he's out for blood because we stole his life from him or something.“

„What do you plan on doing now?“

„I don't know... Wanna run away to Mexico?“ Kyle sighed at that, rolling his eyes before standing up.

„All we have to do is kill him.“

„I don't think you understand, Kyle. That guy is fucking insane and has retard strength after all those years in prison.“

„If you're too pussy, I'm killing him on my own.“

„Kyle--“

 

Too late. As always, it was hard to convince that stubborn Jew once he made up his mind. Jesus fucking Christ, he would have to think of something fast to deal with the situation. Who knows what could happen?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya they fucked in the synagogue in the first scene


	52. Deal.

„That's a terrible idea!“ Butters objected, worried sick about what was going down right now.

„It's gonna be fine.“ Kyle waved his hand, not wanting to drag this out any longer than they had to. They had to snoop out Trent before he could possibly go into hiding and think of something better than torture and murder to ruin their lives. The longer he was alive, the worse off they were.

„No, I think it's a bad idea too.“ Stan insisted, the worry in his eyes prominent. Kyle hadn't seen him look this concerned in a long time, it was weird. It wasn't like him. He only worried this much about animals. Where did the cynicism go in this situation? It had a way of calming Kyle down whenever they were going to do something dangerous. It had him hesitate a bit, but...

„But what else can we do?“

 

Silence.

 

Of course, nobody knew what to do in this moment. It felt like they were being watched, like they could get jumped at any moment by this psychopath straight out of prison, lusting for blood. The situation wasn't ideal at all, but they had to do with what they had. Living in fear wasn't an option. They had to get rid of the threat, no matter the circumstances. Didn't stop the paranoia. From what they heard, Trent was extremely strong, he hospitalized a bunch of teenagers when he was only 9 years old. Imagine what 6 more years of prison could do with that.

 

„Nothing. We have no other option.“

 

That's right. There was nothing else they could do other than try out their plan. Trent was looking for them, that was for sure, but more than anything else, he wanted Eric. He was the main reason why he went to prison, he's the target of his hate. There would be no one who could bait Trent into coming out better than Eric.

„I'm going to fucking die...“ The fat boy muttered to himself, slowly walking down the middle of the street, his face distorting into a disgusted expression as he glanced down on the huge pool of blood in front of him.

 

The rats must have dragged Kenny's body away already. He didn't know why it happened, why those furry fucks always got rid of the evidence, but it didn't matter at this moment.

„God, Ken...“ The sight... this whole mess... It had his chest clenching up in anxiety, he definitely had a bad feeling about this and the smell of drying up blood enveloping his senses didn't help much either. The streets were clear, it was as if nobody even lived there. That's usually what happened when people heard of a conflict. They tried to stay clear of it until it was resolved, which was usually in the form of one side dying. God, he fucked up. Trent came back for him once, why did he think that he wouldn't come back again? Why did he think he would always win? Now it was going to bite him in the ass. Eric just kept walking, making sure to go around the blood. These things didn't usually faze him, but now it felt different. This sinking feeling was getting to him.

 

„Everything clear, Butters?“ Stan asked, looking through the streets from his sniper rifle, watching for anyone, for anything. He had a pretty good outlook from the town hall so he hoped to find that guy before anyone else did, with Butters watching his back just in case.

„Y-Yeah.“

Not that it would help much here, Butters was a scared mess. It was a wonder he even volunteered to watch his back instead of staying back in the basement. Fuck, there was nothing to be found. Did Trent actually leave already or something? The more this dragged out, the more nervous he got. Well, at least he got to watch out for Kyle like he always did. At least he could keep him safe. Though Kyle said to watch over Eric, he still checked up on his super best friend. Just to be safe. He looked fine enough.

„Don't worry, Butters. We're going to be fine.“

„Oh, hamburgers... I sure hope so.“

 

The plan was plain and simple. Stan would cover him and Kyle would follow him through the dark alleys, waiting for Trent to appear in front of him. Kenny was alone when this happened, surely this motherfucker couldn't take them all on. He might have been strong, but they were stronger. Still, nothing. It was taking too long and it was starting to get suspicious. Surely, if he was hunting them, he should have appeared already. Kyle clenched the grip on his bat, nervously looking over the street. Just as he decided to move, he stopped in his tracks at the feeling of a cold and sharp metal object pressing against the back of his neck. His eyes widened, both terrified and impressed to see that their simple plan was so see through. It wasn't that it was surprising, but they all hoped that it was enough to fool him. They hoped he was dumb enough. Time was pushing on them also.

„Did you figure out that this was just a bait all by yourself?“ Kyle joked nervously, his soft voice a little bit shaken up as he felt the knife press into his neck just a little bit harder, closing his eyes and only able to think of how fucked he was right now. How fucked they all were.

„Along the way, yeah. But I was looking for you, Broflovski.“ Kyle's heart skipped at those words, his mind flooded with all possible reasons for this, most of them involved ways to torture Eric. He guessed he was right.

„Why?“ Still, he decided to ask. As if just buying time, waiting for Stan to check on him. He knew he always did even if he told him not to. Surely, if Stan acted, he would get an advantage in this fight. If he didn't land a headshot straight out.

„I saw you on that talkshow. Didn't know anyone would willingly be with that fat piece of shit, had to see it for myself.“ His voice was hoarse and deep, quite intimidating if he had to be honest. Why was Stan taking so long?

„What can I say? Fat, sociopathic pieces of shit are my type.“ At least that earned a chuckle from Trent. Might as well get along before killing each other.

„Can't figure out why. He's kind of pathetic when you think about it.“

„He's mine.“ Kyle didn't waste any time on defending him. He might have been stupid and reckless and many other things, but in the end he was his. He fell in love with him for a reason. He felt like he needed him in his life for a reason.

„Fair enough. You know, I could have had a girlfriend, but he took that from me.“ Fuck, he sounded pissed. Not that he was taking his anger out, but more like he was enjoying this whole thing, which was much worse, honestly.

„Well... you could have--“

„I'm not gay.“ Well, fuck. Sucks being straight, especially if you spend your whole life in prison. Maybe he has a lot of pent up sexual frustration on top of everything? It would explain a lot.

„I can imagine that complicated things in prison.“

„Oh, yeah. Definitely. I'm very fucking pissed that I wasted years upon years of my life in that shit hole. So, you can imagine where I'm coming from. Surely you understand why I want my revenge, right?“ Well, fuck. He did understand. He would be pissed himself if that happened to him. Maybe go crazy as well. Trent probably wasn't in the best mental state because of this. Who knows what happened behind the bars as well, other than just wasting away?

„Yeah...“

„I also heard about your accomplishments. You really that strong?“

„Only one way to find out.“

„You're right. Oh and...“

„What?“

„Don't think your other boyfriend will be helping you. This alley is a blind spot.“ Kyle's heart sank at that. So he knew about Stan. If he knew where Stan was, then no bullets would hit him. This guy had experience, that was for sure.

„I don't need help.“ Kyle slowly turned around, coming face to face with Trent for the very first time. Fuck, he looked as intimidating as he sounded. They both exchanged glances, neither of them wanting to make the wrong move.

„You sure about that? If I kill you, I'll make sure that Cartman sees your severed head. Just to torture him a bit before he joins you. Maybe make him fuck your corpse as a cherry on top. I heard people can die from heartbreak.“ If it were under any other circumstances, he would have laughed and not believed those words, but right now he couldn't afford to doubt him.

„And if I kill you, he'll fuck me alive right above your corpse.“ Hell, might as well join in on the insanity.

„Deal.“ That's when Kyle gripped his bat and swung forward with force, Trent jumping back just as quickly. Behind the sudden explosion of dust there was only a hole in the wall from Kyle's hit, his eyes full of anger and determination, focused straight on his target.

 

He was going to kill Trent. He was going to fucking kill him for ever thinking he could get away with this. Nobody was going to separate him and Eric. Not today. Not ever. Needless to say, Trent was impressed with the pure rage, the anger he had only seen in himself until today. And it showed in his grin.

 

This was surely going to be an interesting fight.

 


	53. All is fair in love and war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am shooketh

This really was taking too long.

 

Why? Eric couldn't help pondering over it, getting more and more nervous with each passing second. It felt like he has been wandering aimlessly for hours with nothing else than silence as company. He knew the guys were supposed to watch over him to make sure nothing gets out of hand, but he really felt like he was on his own in this moment. Fuck, he was so tense. His thoughts were racing, trying to block out all the paranoia that was flooding in at the moment. He couldn't help it. For all he knew, Trent might have already taken everyone out while he wasn't around. Maybe seperating like this wasn't such a good idea. Fuck. It was a terrible idea. He knew it. They should have thought it through properly instead of rushing in head first! Kyle's recklessness might have been the death of them.

 

He knew he wasn't supposed to, to not give away Stan's position, but he couldn't help averting his eyes on top of the roof just slightly. He didn't see shit. In a panic, he turned around to get a proper look, trying to see at least a sign of Stan or Butters.

„Dude...“ He whispered to himself, squinting his eyes. Well, Stan probably hid really well, right? If he could spot them, then Trent could as well, but still... this was unsettling.

 

Suddenly, Eric jolted forward with a screech as he felt a warm hand grab his shoulder from behind.

„WHAT THE FUCK--“ The fat boy nearly cried right then and there, terrified out of his mind with what was going on at the moment.

„Shut up!“ Stan complained, nearly getting a heart attack from Cartman suddenly screaming like that. Never did he think this fat giant could sound like a complete little girl.

„Dude, you scared me-- Wait, why aren't you on the roof? What happened?“ His shock faded pretty quickly, the fear being replaced by a much bigger feeling of dread once he saw Stan's own worried expression.

„I can't find Kyle anywhere.“

„What? What do you mean?!“

„I checked up on him once in a while, but suddenly I lost track of him. I called his phone too, but it's ringing and he's not picking up.“

„He could have lost it--“

„Yeah, but why would he just lose it like that?“ Shit. In this kind of situation, it really had them thinking of the worst case scenario. God, this was so fucking stupid. Eric buried his face in his hands, squatting down just to get a second to try and calm down. Try and find a rational way to go around this. But he had nothing. All he had was his heart racing in panic and his thoughts going double the speed. If they fucked up... If Trent got Kyle...

 

„Fellas!“ Butters waved from down the street, holding Kyle's phone in his hand. Eric looked up, only to have his chest clench up painfully. What could this mean?

„Give it to me.“ Eric slowly stood up, taking the phone and putting in the password. 0701. His own birthday. Kyle was cheesy like that.

„You think there's something in there?“ Stan asked, before Eric shushed him as he scrolled through his files. Suddenly, one audio file caught his attention. It was from just half an hour ago.

 

„ _You sure about that? If I kill you, I'll make sure that Cartman sees your severed head. Just to torture him a bit before he joins you. Maybe make him fuck your corpse as a cherry on top. I heard people can die from heartbreak.“_

 

Eric shuddered at hearing that familiar voice. It was much deeper and much rougher than a few years ago, but it was Trent without a doubt. He would recognize that tone of voice anywhere. All they got to hear was that threat, Kyle probably struggled to even record anything and then it was cut short by his memory card being full. God damn him for having so many apps on his phone, he swore he wasn't obsessed with social media, yet he couldn't be convinced to even delete one app. Until, out of nowhere...

 

Crash.

 

Glass shattering and falling to the ground was all they could hear from the distance. With nobody else around, it could have only been Kyle fighting. He had never ran like that before in his life.

 

„Fuck you!“ The angry redhead screamed, fuming with pure rage as he swung with force, hitting the ground and managing to create a crack even right there on the road.

„I'm just saying,“ Trent sounded much calmer, seemingly enjoying the situation as he dodged every hit with ease. „it's suspicious.“ Kyle was extremely strong, that was for sure. But putting so much force into his hits only slowed him down and only drained his stamina. Trent knew this. Kyle knew this as well. Still, the redhead had a short temper. A really fucking short one.

„You don't know shit! You've been locked up all this time!“ Well, that did manage to irk Trent as well, seeing as how he finally pulled out his pocket knife, colliding along Kyle's bat. Still, he was nowhere near the point of actually fighting, which was worrying.

„Well, for the time I've been out, even I could tell what Cartman's really like. You really think he's in love? He's always been a sociopathic asshole. He only ever used people in his favor! I bet he's only with you because of your strength and reputation. That fatass has no emotions. Don't be fooled.“ Kyle knew he was just trying to get him riled up. What the fuck would he know anyway? People change. People mature. Apparently Trent didn't have the chance to grow up in prison, but this wasn't Kyle's problem. Their relationship was none of his concerns!

„Shut the fuck up!“ That's when Kyle swung too far, hitting a window and it shattered into countless pieces right above him, the redhead having no other choice than to shield his face with his arm before getting pushed inside the room, falling onto hard floor and broken glass before groaning in anguish as he felt the knife pierce into his shoulder, feeling trapped under the larger teen. Trent pulled the knife out just as quickly, wasting no time on grabbing Kyle's curls and pushing it against his neck.

„Beheading time~“ He said in a sickeningly sweet voice as Kyle looked around in panic, searching for a way out from under his grip. Only then did he realize, when he saw all the lockers, that they crashed into the school. School meant teachers. Teachers meant witnesses.

 

Would it be fucked up if Kyle got Trent arrested for the third time or what?

 

He reached for his bat, flinging it upwards to hit the fire alarm button, alerting anyone who might have been still inside the building of something being wrong here. Trent visibly panicked then, realizing what kind of danger he was in, giving Kyle the chance to hit him into the back and get up from under him as the fire sprinklers did their unnecessary work and only made Kyle slip a bit in his escape. He didn't know what kind of consequences this was going to have. Fighting on school grounds was prohibited, so he was in just as much trouble as Trent if anyone were to find them.

„You do realize you're putting yourself into a bad situation as well, right?“ Trent asked, just staring him down for a bit, both not knowing whether to run from here or wait.

„I'll just say you assaulted me. I have a lawyer dad.“ Kyle's voice shook from all the adrenaline, fear and energy drain all at once. Although, nobody was coming.

„I'll only be arrested if I kill you.“ Ah, fuck. He was right. Now Kyle felt a little stuck. His knees and arms felt weak, his muscles way too sore from all the strength the used up earlier. He didn't know if he had the stamina to fight any longer. Trent noticed this, taking the chance and slamming Kyle against the lockers, both of their weapons flying out of their hands as they just struggled against each other with their bare hands.

„Let me tell you, Broflovski...“ Trent whispered as he gripped Kyle by the neck. „You chose the wrong motherfucker to protect.“ Kyle couldn't even struggle as he was raised up into the air, his feet no longer touching the ground, only scratching into Trent's wrist, trying to get him to let go, but the pain didn't seem to faze him. Instead, he pulled back his other hand, formed it into a fist and punched him full force, Kyle swore he could hear the crack of his own nose as both blood and tears started streaming down.

 

That wasn't enough, however.

 

He did it again. And again. And again.

 

Kyle's whole body was shaking by that point, all he could see was the red of his blood and a blurry vision along with dark spots in front of him. He was losing consciousness, he couldn't breathe. Finally, Trent let go as the poor Jew came crashing down onto the floor, gasping for dear life.

„Now, let's finish you off.“ Trent stared into Kyle's eyes for one last time, deciding that he messed him up enough to get back his knife and finish the job.

„E...E-Eat shit..!“ Kyle stuttered out and Trent was just about to laugh at him right before his smirk was wiped clean off his face with a swift motion of Kyle simply slicing Trent's neck open. His expression distorted into disbelief as he reached up for his neck, Kyle's middle finger the last thing he saw before his blood spurted all over him, fully drenching him in blood. He should have watched his weapon more closely. Kyle was shaking, trying his best to get up and gather his things, needing to get away as fast as possible when he heard footsteps approaching.

„Kyle! You're okay!“ Eric yelled, running towards the window only to see a bloodied, wounded Kyle standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at the other end of it, the knife falling back onto the ground as he rose his hands above his head in defeat.

 

„Kyle Broflovski, you're arrested for committing murder on school grounds. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.“ Kyle only stole a glance from his boyfriend before he was put in cuffs by a bunch of police officers, Mr. Garrison complaining on and on about students causing trouble, damaging school property and fighting. Of course he'd have called the cops instead of checking himself, it'd be dangerous.

 

Everything around him sounded so muffled. The teacher, the police officers and even Eric as he was yelling at the cops for them not letting him get close while his boyfriend was being led away.

 


	54. Right to silence

The sharp light was giving him a headache. It was either that or the dried up blood all over him, he wasn't allowed to wash anything off just yet. They dragged him into this small room straight away, sitting him down in front of a table with some mean looking cop staring him down. There were no windows, naturally, giving the feeling of being completely trapped. As if that wasn't enough, it was hard to breathe. Was it like this on purpose so suspects would talk sooner? What did it matter anyway? He was fucked.

 

God, how did it end up like this? Ah, yes. He killed Trent Boyett in order to protect his friends. His love. They just had to end up in the school, huh? When did things get so complicated? Questions flooded his thoughts, trying to distract him from this, from the mess he was currently in. As if wishing, as if imagining hard enough would make him wake up back in bed with Eric. But it didn't. This was reality. A cold shudder woke him up from his trance, looking up at his interrogator. He looked intimidating. You had to, doing a job like this.

„Broflovski, you were found holding the victim's knife, stained with his blood, standing above his corpse.“ The cop read off some files, it presumably being a report from someone else. It didn't look good. No matter what he did, he would still be found guilty in the end. The problem wasn't the murder though, it was the location. He could claim self defense, but that would deem him guilty.

„Mhm.“ His head was pounding now. He was getting a fucking migraine. God damn it. All he could amount to were little sounds, not meaning yes and not meaning no. He seemed frozen, thinking back on Eric. He just wanted to be back at home. With him. God, he missed him.

„You were standing in the school hallways, your teacher – Mr. Garrison, saw you fighting, correct?“

„Garrison didn't see shit. You have no witnesses to confirm that I was fighting on school grounds.“ Kyle was starting to get angry, being interrogated while in this state wasn't doing him good. It was convenient to them though, it meant he was more likely to plead guilty sooner.

„Well, who rang the fire alarm then?“

„I did.“

„Ringing the fire alarm when there's no fire is another offense, kid.“

„Wanna interrogate me for that too?“

„I ask the questions here. What happened that led up to this?“

„It doesn't matter what I say, does it? If I claim self defense, I'll be admitting to the crime and will be hauled off to jail without question or court. I won't be able help myself here, no matter how much I speak.“ Kyle looked up, seemingly impressing the cop. He knew he was right, this was all just extra. There was no light at the end of the tunnel for him here.

„Correct. You were still found in a position that indicates you committed murder in an off limits area. How do you plan to get out of that one?“

 

That's when Kyle remembered what his dad once told him if he ever were to end up in a situation like this. Those magic words that the interrogators couldn't do shit against.

„I will remain silent. I want to see a lawyer.“ The cop frowned, realizing that the teen was familiar with the police. Was he arrested before? He would have to do a background check on him. That smug grin on his face indicated that he knew what he was doing, he was completely calm all of a sudden, the time ticking away behind his eyes as he counted the remaining seconds until his release or the arrival of his lawyer.

 

His dad would have to get him out of this. Or at least manage to get a light sentence. He was a Jewish lawyer, for fuck's sake. Eric would definitely say this, even in this sort of situation. It made him feel more confident in his ability not to crack. Though as he expected, the cop blatantly ignored him and continued asking questions.

„Kyle Broflovski, was the murder a result of self defense?“

„I will remain silent. I want to see a lawyer.“

„Were you provoked into the fight by Trent Boyett?“

„I will remain silent. I want to see a lawyer.“

„Were you or any of your loved ones being threatened or at risk, so you had no choice?“

„I will remain silent. I want to see a lawyer.“

 

This was going to be a long 24 hours.

 

„They can't keep him that long!“ Eric paced around the room nervously as Sheila ran off into the kitchen, her heart broken and eyes wet. Her baby was arrested. God only knows what they'd do to him there! What if he would be hauled off to jail? She couldn't imagine her son going through the same thing as her.

„Sadly, they can.“ Gerald spoke, although he didn't seem nearly as worried as everyone else. He knew his son and he knew how god damn stubborn he was. Just like his mom. He taught him everything he could possibly know about the law, so he should make it through interrogation without any issues. Theoretically, at least. Kyle's psyche was always a bit wobbly, he got an existential crisis when he was a kid once. He tried to burn down the school when he was called the ugliest boy in class. Hell, he even went after some TV gay guys to kill them because it was their fault he was beat up for not being metrosexual.

„It's already been three days though!“ Eric flailed, not believing what he was hearing.

„They can hold him up to 96 hours if it's a serious felony, which it is.“

„Holy shit.“ Eric plopped down onto the couch, giving a loud sigh. Everything went quiet for a few seconds before his phone buzzed and it nearly fell out of his hand once he heard that voice. He immediately went off, walking into Ike's room and sitting down on his bed. The two made eye contact before Eric started talking and Ike decided to just listen in on what was going on.

„Kyle?!“ Everyone around him perked up, curious as to what was happening.

„God, I missed your voice.“

„I missed you too. Kyle, what's going on in there?“

„They keep asking questions and I keep invoking my right to remain silent. They finally allowed me to make one call. How long has it been since I was arrested?“

„Like two days. How do you not know this?“

„I lost sense of time, honestly. They keep me in the interrogation room most of the time. I'm so fucking tired of this.“

„Motherfuckers.“

„Yeah. Can you tell my dad to come here and bitch them out tomorrow? That's all the time they can keep me here.“

„I will. What will happen then though?“

„It doesn't look good. Everything is against me, I'm pretty much the confirmed murderer as far as this goes, but I need my dad to help me with a valid reason for all of this. I'm not claiming self defense until I know what I'm working with. Though as far as the odds go, claiming self defense might be the last option for me in order to get off with a light sentence. With the influence of my dad, of course.“

„Your dad's a Jewish lawyer, for fuck's sake!“

„I knew you'd say that! I'm sure we can make it through this.“

„Yeah... Yeah, we can.“ His eyes looked over that article on Ike's computer screen with a heavy heart. Ike looked just as scared, this wasn't good. The little shit was never scared. Not until he read the title. And another one. All pages were flooded with reporting on nothing else.

 

_GANG LEADER KYLEY-B ARRESTED FOR MURDER IN OFF-LIMITS AREA_

 

_GANG MEMBERS TALKING OF TAKING BACK TURF NOW THAT KYLEY-B'S GONE_

 

_SUPPORTERS OF KYLEY-B'S ARREST EMERGE; TAKE THE JERSEY DEVIL DOWN!_

 

_KYLEY-B CONTINUES GOING IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF HIS MOTHER, STRAIGHT INTO PRISON!_

 

Eric's throat dried up, as he gulped down air, feeling more nervous with each second. There was no end to this, it was as if everything exploded ever since. First, Kyle was made famous and now everyone was already talking about him being arrested. Shit, he should have expected something like this to happen. There was no stopping this. Ever since that damn Heidi incident. It was as if her appearance led up to all of this, fucking them over even after death. Fuck that cunt. Seriously, fuck her.

„I love you, Eric.“ Kyle spoke softly, finally relaxing now that he got the important stuff off his mind. Everything was going to be taken care of.

„I love you too...“ Eric gripped Ike's shoulder, not knowing where to lean on. Where to find reassurance.

„Me too!“ Ike yelled, receiving a gasp and another excited 'love you!' from his big brother.

 


	55. I can't stray off my path

They thought they could get through this.

 

_Purple skies, blue ceilings. It all seemed to merge together when he looked up. Was he inside or outside? He didn't know anymore. The gentle breeze coming through his window and ruffling up his curls was the only thing connecting him to reality right now. Not the ticking of the clock, counting down his time. Not the way Eric's chest moved up and down along his breathing. He was still here, right beside him. He knew he should be enjoying his last day as a free man, but it was hard._

 

_What could he possibly do to distract himself from his fate? What could he possibly do to think back on this day with the knowledge that he did everything he could to keep him sane in the upcoming days, weeks, months, years?_

 

_They already made love 5 times and he already tasted 5 grams of cocaine in the past 5 hours._

 

_Kyle wasn't big on drugs that weren't weed, but having a curfew of 7pm and a GPS tracker on his ankle felt like enough of a reason to do some of the things he wasn't going to be able to do in the near future. He was right, there was only one outcome to this. He always believed that life was a multiple paths going in every direction and that it was up to him which path he chose, but the more he thought about things, the more it felt like he was on a completely straight path. He didn't see what was at the end of the road, he only knew that it was the only way he could take. There were no obstacles, none of that bullshit people think of when they are having trouble reaching their goals. Maybe those people had so much trouble because they were trying to stray off their natural path in life? Maybe playing around with fate and trying to change it was something bad?_

 

_However, no matter how much he tried, he couldn't even attempt to stray off his path. There was one way. One way only._

 

_He was thinking too much._

 

„ _Baby...“ Kyle's head turned to that voice, that sweet, syrupy voice he remembered falling in love with ever since he first heard it. God, he could still remember how mean he sounded the very first time, how authoritative he appeared. He could have died for that voice since the very beginning. Who would have thought the same man would be calling him baby in such an affectionate way down the road? He wouldn't have believed that on his first day in this town._

„ _Mhm?“ His hand reached out, fingers softly stroking over that chubby cheek, really feeling alive, really feeling reality as it came crashing down onto his senses for the first time in his life. He never really realized how fragile life was. How everything could change in a matter of seconds. All it took was one mistake._

„ _You're gonna be leaving me.“_

„ _Unwillingly.“_

„ _I know. Are you going to be okay on your own?“_

„ _Yeah. What's the worst that could happen?“_

„ _I could get killed out here without you.“ Kyle's hand froze at those words, never really considering that a possibility. It was true that with Kyle's publicity, Eric was just as much out there. Their relationship was public. However, he couldn't bring himself to worry. Not now. Not in this moment. It was just a light-hearted complaint, he could see it in the way Eric closed his eyes, nuzzling into Kyle's hand, really loving his touch, wanting to drown in it, wanting to remember it. Now more than ever._

„ _You're strong, Eric.“_

„ _Not without you.“_

„ _Bullshit.“_

„ _You know, we can still break that tracker and escape to Mexico.“ Kyle laughed at that, actually thinking about it as an option now._

„ _What would we do there?“_

„ _Well, first of all we would get fake new identities. New names. I'd be Javier Martinez and you'd be my beautiful wife Rosa María. We would get you all dressed up in a huipil and everything. Nobody could tell that we are famous gang leaders. We would start a new life in a farm house. Never look back.“_

„ _You'd really give up everything, just to live a peaceful life with me?“_

„ _Yeah.“_

„ _We wouldn't fit in, we're white.“_

„ _Some Mexicans look white, Kyle, don't be racist.“_

„ _I'm the racist one now?“_

„ _You are.“_

„ _Well, fuck.“_

„ _Just say the word and we will run away. Start a new life.“_

„ _I'd love to, but I'd be a wanted criminal. Maybe I should just take my sentence. My dad came up with a really good defense. I might not even get a full year. It'll be over before we know it.“_

„ _I hope you're right.“ Eric sat up, reaching for some aluminum foil, a straw and a lighter before placing some weird, red pill on the foil and heating it up from below._

„ _What's this?“_

„ _Chasing the dragon.“_

„ _Sounds gay.“_

„ _It is.“ Didn't matter now in the slightest though, Kyle took the straw and inhaled the vapor, feeling his senses overcome. Fuck, they weren't being responsible, but who cared at this point anyway? Who cared what was going to happen to them? With some luck, they might die. Though that was just the fear of the future speaking. It must have been._

 

_Why was he so scared though? He was never scared of the future or whatever. Not before he came into this town. Not before he met Eric. He didn't care before, but now he had something to lose. Something he desperately didn't want to lose. Not now. Not ever. Not in a million years. Not in any universe or world they may have met in. Even if, in some strange alternate reality they hated each other, he knew for a fact that even then he wouldn't want to lose Eric. He would desperately hang onto him for dear life, no matter what. Always and forever._

„ _I love you, stupid Jew.“_

„ _I love you too, fatass.“_

 

They thought they could get through this.

 

The room went dead silent as Kyle stared up at the judge from his place beside his father, cuffs on his wrists clashing with the politeness of his suit. They did everything they possibly could throughout this court to appeal to the judge. Kyle took a deep breath, his senses noticing the smell of the wooden desks as a way to focus on something and keep calm while the judge spoke her verdict.

„The jury has found the defendant, Kyle Broflovski, to be guilty of the charge of justified homicide on protected grounds. Because of these circumstances, the defendant is to serve 3 years in juvenile hall.“

 

Kyle's eyes opened, his heart broken as he silenced everything around him out, tears streaming down his cheeks. What would happen if he decided to run? What if he just jumped over the desk and grabbed Eric's hand and just... just ran? Started a new life? Just like he wanted?

 

He couldn't.

 

He was left frozen, with only the guards grabbing him by the arms and dragging him away from the court room.

 


	56. Long time gone

Tick.

 

Tock.

 

The clock on the wall ticked away, dragging its cheeky clock pointers along in a mocking way, filling the room up with unnecessary noise. It was irritating to listen to, they couldn't even focus on their own thoughts. Until finally the door opened and Eric walked in with a devastated expression on his face. Seeing him like this any other time would be funny. It really would. But it wasn't. Somehow, neither Kenny, Stan nor Butters could bring themselves to laugh at him. Usually, Butters would laugh when something went really south for Eric. It was always in the fashion of 'Ha! You got what you deserved!'. But he didn't deserve this one. He didn't deserve to lose the first person he ever truly loved.

 

Besides, this didn't just concern Eric.

 

What were they going to do about their territory? Eric probably didn't want to hear about it right now, but it was only a matter of time before people started fighting back. Fact is, people were scared of Kyle and Eric together. Take one of them away and the respect they gained would disappear like nothing. Everyone was already pissed. Everyone already cheered ever since Kyle got arrested. They wanted him out of the way.

 

Their empire might be fall faster than it was built.

 

His footsteps creaked along the wooden floor, he held his breath as he quietly sat down in front of his friends and stared down at the table, leaning into his hands. He was trying to think. Trying to think of any way to get out of this situation, but it seemed hopeless. There was nothing. Would he just have to wait for three years? Ah, well... They would both just waste the rest of their youth waiting on each other. Kyle said it wouldn't be more than one year. What was he thinking? Fuck...

 

Nobody dared to speak to him right now, for obvious reasons. Eric had a tendency to snap when he was under stress, but they also had nothing to say that would make this any better. So they all held their mouths shut when the fat boy reached for the TV remote and turned on the news channel. As expected, Kyle's case was being reported. It was all just noise to him. Just flashing pictures. The scared boy on TV didn't look like Kyle at all. Kyle was never scared. Kyle was always confident, he always knew what to do and he always managed to somehow get out of a terrifying situation and somehow save Eric in the process. When did their roles switch like this? If anything, he was supposed to be the one who messed up in Kyle's place. He was supposed to be the one being dragged into prison right now. Hell, it wouldn't even be anything new for him. He already went to juvenile a few times in his life. He was a messy kid, doing a lot of shit he shouldn't have been doing. Kyle was smarter than that. So why did it turn out this way?

 

A certain report caught his attention though. Flashing lights, cheers and gun shots of a huge crowd of people. Reporting from Middle Park. Live.

„ _WE WILL TAKE OUR TOWN BACK!“_ One of them screamed.

 

„Fuck.“ Eric sighed, turning the TV off. This was the first word he said ever since he came back.

„Riots are happening.“ Kenny added.

„I know.“

„They're going to take their territory back.“

„I know.“

„What do we do?“ What a question. Usually, he would have had an answer immediately. He was always the one coming up with these elaborate plans, but somehow it was hard to think right now.

„Eric...?“ Butters quietly asked, halfway expecting his friend to snap.

„I... Ugh, okay. Riots. Stuff. Fighting. Butters, round up all my men, we are pushing Middle Park back before they even get the chance to talk any more shit.“

„Yessir!“ Butters immediately jumped up, following orders as usual.

„Stan, can you get a bunch of weapons? They're in my basement.“

„Okay.“ Stan nodded, which was a bit surprising.

„You know, you don't have to do this. I know you only stuck around because of Kyle.“ Stan sighed at those words. It was true, but...

„Kyle is my best friend. If he really sees something in you, then I will stick around you as well. Can't let you die, he would kick my ass.“ How nice.

„Thanks.“

„No problem, dude.“ And so, he walked off.

 

Leaving only Kenny and Eric staring at each other wordlessly. Their eyes locked and both of them understood. Eric lowered his head as Kenny walked up to him, wrapping his arms around him. There was sort of a bittersweet taste to being hugged in this sort of situation. He was happy there was someone to comfort him, but that wasn't going to make the problem go away.

„You wanna defend our territory?“ Kenny asked in a soft voice, feeling the desperation seeping off his best friend.

„What other choice do I have?“

„Well, we could bust him out. Have you two run away to Mexico.“ At which Eric chuckled. Wow, they really did think alike.

„I suggested that before. He said he would sit it out to keep everything intact and get out without any problems. I think it's because of his family, he could never run and risk not seeing them again.“

„He sure is a mom.“

„He is.“

„You gonna defend the territory he took over?“

„Yeah.“

„You gonna wait on him?“

„Definitely.“

„Good. Let's go.“ Kenny let go and walked out of the door, grabbing one of the guns Stan was holding. The fat boy stared down at his right hand and his fat fingers, due to which he had to keep the ring on his little finger. It wouldn't fit on any other.

 

„ _Ay! Why are you taking it off?“ He was visibly scared then. Thinking of God knows what was happening as Kyle just rolled his eyes and took Eric's hand, slipping the engagement ring onto his little finger after he realized it was too small to fit on his ring finger._

„ _Just for the time being. They will take all my belongings once I go to jail. I don't want something this important to just lie around in some officer's desk. Look after it for me until then, okay?“_

„ _Okay... Why did you put it on my right hand though?“_

„ _Jewish tradition.“ Kyle grinned._

„ _Ay!“_

 

He stood up as well, reaching for his gun and loading it up. He was going to fuck them up.

 


	57. Beyond the walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cups hands* BUILD THE WALL BUILD THE WALL BUILD THE WALL

Honestly, his plan was to send Trent back to jail, but somehow it didn't work out. He knew from the second when the bars opened and he was led in, that all of those eyes recognized him. They were mocking him for being here. He couldn't really be mad about that either. Hell, he would laugh too if he saw someone rising to the top at such an alarming rate, only to fuck up and land in jail. He had a feeling the universe was laughing too. Just give him everything and then take everything away. Just like giving a child a lollipop and then taking it back. Was it karma? Did he get too ahead of himself? Honestly, who cared at this point.

 

Kyle stepped forward, his expression stone cold as he finally lifted up his head to look over everyone in front of him. Everyone was unusually silent, maybe they didn't think that the famous Kyley-B would be led into their prison. He grimaced once he saw his own reflection in the glass. No hat, no slutty clothes... Hell, not even any oversized sweater from his, technically, husband. He almost didn't recognize himself, especially not that dry skin he had no way of hiding, those tired, dark circles under his eyes, those messy curls he hadn't touched in over a week, all packaged in a stupid, orange jumpsuit.

 

This look didn't suit him at all, he sighed.

 

„Forward, prisoner! You will wake up each morning at 0500. Lockdown is until 0900. At ten we begin random searches and checks for contraband. At 11:30 we have lunch. Your cellmate is Romper Stomper!“ That's when everyone else started whispering to each other, as if this guy was someone significant in this prison. Well, it was just his luck to share a cell with someone who was probably going to try and kick his ass. Which would be rather inconvenient, considering the fact that he planned on behaving good for a chance at getting out early.

„Who's Romper Stomper?“ Kyle asked, putting a hand onto his hip as he watched some guy with messy brown hair emerge from the crowd, his eyes gleamed mean and an empty tear drop decorating his face. That piqued Kyle's curiosity, the tattoo meant he wasn't just anyone.

„I am!“ He spoke, but his face seemed to light up at seeing Kyle, much to Kyle's confusion.

„Now, show this new prisoner the ropes!“ The warden left, leaving Kyle to get surrounded by everyone else, Romper on the front. He seemed to hold a lot of power over everyone here. Well, if he was going to have to fight, might as well do it on his first day.

„You bet your ass I will!“ Kyle raised his eyebrow, looking him over and tensing up. This reminded him of the time he first arrived at South Park, he got surrounded that time too, although then he had Stan on his side. Being alone fucking sucked.

 

 

„Stan!“ Kenny screamed out, reaching out just in time to grab Stan by his jacket and jump down on the ground, a loud explosion going off behind them.

„Fuck! What the fuck was that?!“ Stan shouted just as loudly, barely able to even hear himself from how loud everything was. It looked like a real war going on, none of the gangster kiddie shit that they were doing before.

„Fucking dynamite!“

„Where the fuck did they get dynamite?!“

„Probably at the mall, this is America!“

„Good point!“ Both of them scrambled up then, running further into the town. They were getting pushed back, which was a terrible sign. There were more dead on their side than from the other gangs.

 

„Eric!“ Kenny ran inside, making sure to barricade the door in case anyone followed them. The fat piece of shit looked nervous, which was another terrible sign.

„What?!“ He looked over, not knowing what to do first as he nearly crushed his phone in his hand, gun in the other.

„We're out of ammo.“

„What do you mean?“

„We're out! Completely!“

„Do we have no more fucking ammo at all?“

„That's what I'm saying! We ran out. There's nothing left.“

„God damn it.“ He slammed a fist into the table.

„And they got explosives.“

„God fucking damn it. Use melee weapons, they're in this box.“ Eric kicked a crate forward, it was full with sharp and blunt weapons, enough to bash someone's skull in or cut their throat, but it was nothing compared to explosives. It was only a matter of time before they would be forced to escape. Maybe they should retreat from this one.

„Eric, I think we--“ Just as Kenny tried to plead, a panicked voice came through Eric's phone.

 

„ _We need to retreat!“_ It was as if Butters took those words right out of his mouth, but the situation was worse than expected.

„Why? What's going on?“ Eric asked, still stubborn and intent on fighting.

„ _It's not just Middle Park and Fort Collins! People are rioting all over Colorado! They are taking their territory back! We don't have enough man power to keep fighting!“_ This silenced the fat boy, his terrified expression meeting Kenny's eyes.

„Butters... What do you mean all over Colorado...?“

„ _I mean all over Colorado! We've already lost Aspen, Boulder, Colorado Springs and Denver!“_ His heart seemed to stop at that, all color fading from his face. He looked as pale as a ghost.

„I...“

„ _What do we do, Eric?!“_

„I.. uh..“

„ _Eric!“_

„Retreat.“

„ _Are you sure?“_

„Yeah, pull everyone back to South Park for the time being. I'll figure out what to do after that.“ And so he hung up, sitting down into the armchair of some random man and his office. 

 

Eric Cartman never looked this defeated before.

 

„We need to go too.“ Kenny spoke up in a softer voice than usual, no longer muffled by his parka.

„I know.“ He replied, but didn't move from his seat at all. It was as if he knew something even more horrible was about to go down.

„We can go back and gas those towns. Just like we did with North Park. They will be unusable, but if we publicly threaten other gangs, they might give up peacefully.“

„No point. I'm already fucked.“ He almost looked like he was going to laugh at his own demise, which was completely out of character for him.

„What do you mean?“

„Remember when I showed you this ring?“ Eric placed his hand down onto the desk, looking down at it and getting more panicked with each second.

„Yeah?“

„What did I say then?“

„You got it for Kyle. I remember it was expensive as fuck.“

„Who did I borrow money from?“

„Some guys, they gave you money in exchange for... some towns... you and Kyle...“ Kenny stopped in his words, taken back by this situation. „What towns were they?“ He decided to ask, but his heart sank at the reply.

„Aspen and Denver.“ Of course it had to be the ones that had fallen already.

„Who were those guys?“

„Some sort of mafiosi, I don't fucking know. Gangs don't have money, the mafia does. Gangs have territory, the perfect form of payment to keep the cops from snooping around, they don't concern themselves with gang kids owning territory, it's the perfect cover up for their own shit. That's what they said.“

„And now the towns are all fucked up and there's chaos.“

„Yep.“

„Do you think that they got killed by all the people rioting?“

„Even if they did, it wouldn't be all of them. They will know that I was unable to protect the towns.“

„What will you do?“

„I don't know. Wait?“

„I guess that's all we have, huh...“

„I guess so.“

 

 

„Kyley-B, huh?“ Romper asked, approaching the tiny and angry looking redhead, who looked as if he was just about ready to fight anyone.

„Yeah, got a problem with that?“ He glared at the man, lifting up his chin to look him in the eyes. Why the fuck was everyone around him so tall?

„On the contrary, you're Eric Cartman's fiancé, right? He came here when we were younger and actually became my first friend.“ Well, those words and that genuine smile really caught Kyle off guard, more than any unexpected fight ever did. A friend... So Eric was in prison before. He did say that he did some stupid shit when he was a kid, but what would land him in prison?

„Oh, well. Nice to meet yo--“

„You too, dude! Come on, let me show you around!“ Just like that, he was being dragged off and all around the prison as if it was some sort of school trip. Well, if it was, then maybe prison wouldn't be that bad, he might actually survive it here, considering that Romper was one of Eric's friends. 

 

„And finally, here we can go outside, as far as the fence goes to do shit like play basketball or fight or buy blowjobs from some of the prison whores around here.“ Romper pointed at the corner to some feminine looking boy just standing there, makeup on and sucking on a lollipop.

„Gross.“ Kyle commented and Romper chuckled. „Do you fancy those?“

„Nah, I'm not gay.“

„Speaking of gay, how exactly did Eric end up in prison? He never told me about this.“

„He didn't?“ Kyle shook his head no. „Funny story, actually. Apparently that dumbass threw a rock at a black guy's face in school. Token was his name, I think. It was treated as a hate crime at first and he was supposed to stay here until he was 21, but then I tried helping him escape and it turned out his buddies got him to be released. Something about hate crime laws being bullshit.“ Kyle grimaced at the thought of a tiny Eric Cartman grabbing a rock and stupidly chugging it at someone's face on school grounds. Only he would be that stupid, but it's not like Kyle had any rights to say anything. After all, he did do some stupid shit of his own. Which coincidentally landed him in the same prison as his stupid boyfriend was in.

„He's retarded.“ Kyle commented.

„Definitely.“ Romper nodded in agreement as they sat down on on the grass, leaning against the tall walls away from other prisoners and the wardens keeping watch.

„I miss him already. We were supposed to be together on my birthday.“ Kyle muttered, looking up at the clouds, unaware of the chaos going on beyond these fences.

„It's your birthday today? How old are you?“

„Sixteen. We could have legally gotten married as of today.“ He sighed.

„You're spending your sixteenth birthday in prison, that's an achievement of its own.“ 

„What do you mean?“ 

„Some people get rose tattoos if they spend their sixteenth or eighteenth birthday in prison. It's some sort of traditional shit and I'm kinda into that.“

„Yeah, me too.“

„Want me to tattoo you? Consider it birthday and welcome party present.“ Kyle snorted at that, but why not? He wasn't surprised that someone ran over with the necessary tools at the wave of a hand. This guy would have been a gang leader of his own outside the bars. He had the authority. Or 'authoritah' as Eric liked to say. He had such a stupid accent. Stupidly cute accent.

„Yeah, it might actually get my mind off things.“ Kyle unzipped his jumpsuit, taking off the top part to reveal his stomach tattoo. So it was real and not just for show. Knowing Cartman, of course he would put something like that on his boyfriend.

„Neat.“ And so the long process of a poke and stick tattoo on his arm started. It's not like he could get anything better in a prison.

 


	58. Don't leave me now, don't say goodbye

** May 26 th 2017 **

_Today is the day that Kyle was put in jail and also the day I found out that I'm going to die. The territory that I promised to keep safe as a form of payment fell under attack and I lost control over it. They're angry and they're going to find me, I can feel it. It was all for Kyle though, you know? I'd have done it again just to ask him to marry me. Maybe I'd have planned ahead this time, knowing what I know now. If only I could see the future, I'd have killed Trent on my own. Or maybe I would have never agreed with Kyle going on that late night show. Maybe if we just kept to ourselves, it wouldn't have turned out to be such a big deal. Maybe nobody would care enough to start rioting once Kyle was out of the picture. Maybe I shouldn't have gone ahead of myself and wanted it all. Maybe I should have been content with having Kyle in my bed instead on the top of the world. You think you're the king one day and the next you're nothing but trash. Life fucking sucks._

 

** June 2 nd 2017 **

_It's been a week. I still haven't heard from anyone, not even those guys. Usually, it'd be a good sign, that maybe I'm off the hook, but we all know that's simply not true. I'm not hard to find. All they have to do is knock on my door in South Park and they have me. I feel like I'm just waiting on the inevitable. The guys said they will look out for me, but what can they really do?_

 

** June 5 th 2017 **

_Okay, those morons basically barricaded up the whole town. Nobody is getting in, at least that's what they said._

 

**June 16** **th** **2017**

_It's been three weeks since I lost control over my territory in Denver and Aspen. I have yet to hear from anyone and quite frankly, it's driving me insane. I feel more tense with each day, it's as if they knew exactly what they were doing. I spend my nights with my eyes wide open and gun in hand, then I spend the rest of my day holding a cup of black coffee. I'm just expecting them to strike at any moment. Making me nervous is a good strategy, but I don't really know what else to do. I guess I'm writing this to find some sense in all of this, but I see none. No matter how much I try. I'd be fine waiting on Kyle for three years, but I might not live that long. My only hope is that they don't give a shit about me, but I really doubt that's the case. It was a huge fuck up. Of course they care. Protecting the town will only last as long as they will wait._

 

** July 1 st 2017 **

_I feel like I'm being watched._

 

** July 2 nd 2017 **

_I shot Kenny today. That motherfucker came from behind me unexpectedly. I think this is really getting to me. No, it definitely is getting to me._

 

** July 3 rd 2017  **

_I got a threat note. It just said 'we're coming for you'. Fucking classy._

 

** July 4 th 2017 **

_I know what I'm going to do._

 

 

„Never did I think I'd see you, of all people, running.“ Kenny pointed out, wearing one of those smug grins. As grim as the situation was, that poor piece of shit would always find something to smile about. Hell, he would find something funny about his own deaths. In fact, he started laughing when Eric shot him a few days ago. It was the girly shriek that Eric made and the absolutely terrified look on his face that really made him find the situation so fucking funny.

„Well, what other fucking choice do I have?“ The fat boy asked, not appreciating his best friend pointing this out. He always tried to be so cool looking, but in the end he kind of always seemed to fuck himself over and this time it was bad enough for him to turn to running.

„None. What about Kyle?“ Eric sat down at hearing his name, sighing.

„He looks hella hot in that prisoner outfit.“ He decided to add that little extra commentary. It was true. Kyle looked fucking hot, he kind of wanted to get himself arrested just so he could bang his hot boyfriend in the cell every single day. Maybe in the showers too. In the library. In the little chapel they had there. Right under the cross. But that wouldn't exactly solve the problem, they would be attacked as soon as they would get out.

„No, I mean, what are you going to do about him?“ Surprisingly enough, Kenny didn't bother on thinking about how hot someone looked. How uncharacteristic of him, but it just showed how much he worried. They were best friends in the end.

„Say goodbye.“ He simply said.

„Say goodbye?“

„Yeah. You know I might not come back from this, right?“

„Right.“

„It's better to just tell him I love him and say my goodbyes.“

„He's stubborn, he will try to go after you, you know.“

„Yeah, I guess so. Can you do me a favor in that case?“

„What is it?“

„Promise me you won't tell him where I went.“

„I can't promise that.“

„I know you can't, Ken. I know.“

 

 

** July 5 th 2017 **

_I'm going to miss him. So much._

 

He remembered the time he was on the other side of that glass when he was a kid, with his friends talking to him, laughing at him for having to put cigarettes up his own ass as a way of getting out. Nothing seemed to have changed other than a lot of those prisoners he met, they grew older, except it was behind bars. Just like Romper Stomper did. He never really got the chance to know what Romper did to land him in jail for so long, he never even bothered asking why he seemed to hopeless. Romper always gave him the impression that he didn't even want to leave. It was as if he didn't have anything on the outside, anything to come back to. Eric was one of the few ones who actually had something to miss. His mom, for instance. It was embarrassing, but he still remembered the time when he cried for his mom, he couldn't help it. It was the time that he broke down in front of Romper and actually gained some sympathy from him. He always claimed that it was just a move to get Romper to pity him, but both of them knew those tears were genuine. He was a scared little boy. No shame in that.

 

He sat down, his heart breaking at the sight of Kyle looking so happy to see him. He always looked forward to visitation hours since it was the only time they could really talk to each other in person. It might have only been something over a month, but it felt long enough to drive them both crazy. He couldn't remember the last time he felt Kyle's skin under his hands, the last time they got to kiss. He wished he could give him a proper farewell, but this would have to do. 

„What's wrong?“ Were the first words that came out of Kyle's mouth. He was always observant, damn him for having that skill. 

„Nothing. You gotten prison raped yet?“ Eric decided to get away from the subject for now, wanting to have at least one casual conversation today. Well, as casual as talking about prison rape was.

„Yeah, sure.“ Kyle rolled his eyes. „You must be really underestimating me.“

„It's not that.“

„Are you sure? A little birdie told me that you were the one who made sure the prison I went to would be the one where your friend was. You think I wouldn't be able to handle myself alone? Or are you just so jealous that you have to have someone keep an eye on me?“ Kyle leaned forward, supporting his chin in his palm and giving Eric one of those amused looks. This time it was Eric's turn to roll his eyes.

„Well, excuse me for wanting to make your three years a bit easier. Won't happen next time.“

„Yeah, because there won't be a next time. I talked to my dad over the phone, if I keep my good behavior up and we appeal to the judge with my case, I really could get out early. God, I can't wait to get out already. We can have an official wedding. Maybe even have a house one day and live together. I don't know, does that sound stupid?“ Kyle looked up, a little embarrassed from sharing his dreams of a domestic life, but the expression on Eric's face caught him off guard. He was either expecting him to start laughing about how pussy that sounded or have some sort of sexual remark. Anything. What he didn't expect was that sad smile on his face. He was being unusually quiet today, something must have been wrong.

„Kyle--“

„What happened?“ The fear on his face clearly showed. Eric wasn't acting like himself.

„Kyle, listen... I messed up.“

„What? What do you mean you messed up?“ That's when he looked up, putting one hand onto the thick glass, Kyle putting his own against it and actually seeing how much smaller his hands were than Eric's. They looked at each other and Kyle knew his heart would burst when he saw those sad eyes staring back.

„I... I got involved with some really dangerous guys a while back.“

„You can't be fucking serious--“

„That's why I have to go, leave Colorado.“

„Leave? What the fuck do you mean? Will I hear from you?“

„No.“

„No?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! You can't just up and go! We can find some other way!“

„I love you, Kyle.“ He simple said, pulling his hand back from the glass.

„You can't just fucking leave me here and go do whatever for three years! What if they fucking get you?! I can't let you go die!“ Kyle stood up from his seat, catching the warden's attention and ignoring his warning about lowering his voice.

„I love you so much, my little monster.“ He finally said, giving Kyle one last look before he turned around and walked away, never looking back despite the screams and banging on glass from the other side.

„Eric! ERIC!“ Were the last words he heard before Kyle was restrained by a couple of wardens.

 


	59. Into my own hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDPR5EoYqOs

Whispers filled up the halls as the red haired boy dragged himself through the halls, his eyes tired and angry to the point of most everyone avoiding him. His hair was messier than usual and he looked like he was ready to snap at anyone that dared cross his path. Rumors spread fast in prison, probably faster than in high schools. Which is why everyone looked so interested to see him back as he dragged himself back into his cell, his trembling hands opening bars rather violently. The boy looked around, only to find a quiet Romper lying in his bed, staring up at him just as surprised as the rest of everyone else.

„How long...?“ Kyle asked with a raspy voice.

„Two weeks.“ He replied, closing his book and putting it away.

„Shit...“ The boy fell onto the bed, burying his face in his hands, about to have another meltdown.

„Kyle, what the fuck happened during visitation? People were saying you went completely crazy and tried to fight the wardens.“

„Yeah...“

„Why?“

„That stupid fatass... He's gonna get himself killed.“

„What?“ Romper raised his eyebrows, quite surprised to hear this. He'd have thought that fat idiot learned from his past mistakes.

„I need to get out.“ Kyle looked at the boy, determined. He wasn't taking no for an answer.

„...I'll break you out.“

 

Deja fucking vu.

 

 

Silence. Of course, everyone was tense. Who wouldn't be? They haven't heard from Cartman in a week. It was like he completely disappeared from the Earth. Even his phone number was gone, they couldn't call him. He didn't get a back up number either, for emergencies. He didn't seem to plan that far ahead, or maybe he just thought he didn't need that. Maybe he was too paranoid to even keep a phone on himself.

„Did he really not say anything? Anything at all, in case we lost contact? Maybe he needs help after all.“ Stan spoke up, breaking the silence, all eyes shifting on him.

„He only told me to wait. Nothing else.“ Kenny replied, being the only one who still kept staring down onto the table, playing with his fingers in a nervous fashion. How was he supposed to feel? His best friend was somewhere out there and he didn't even know if he was alive. Honestly, he considered killing himself just to know if Eric died and went down to hell. Only mormons went to heaven. Well, it's not like that sociopath had any chance on getting to heaven either way.

„W-Well, what about Kyle? Is he okay?“ Butters asked.

„Last time I was there, they told me they put him into solitary. Apparently he freaked out when Eric told him what was going on, rightfully so. They didn't want to tell me how long he'd be in solitary for though.“ Honestly, what could they do? None of them liked feeling this helpless.

„O-Oh...“

 

Slam.

 

All of their heads turned towards the front door as it slammed open. They couldn't believe their own eyes.

„Where is he?“

 

 

Cigar smoke filled the air up into the lights, complimenting the smell of booze and the clinking of glass nicely. Dark wood floor, high heels, tight dresses, curly hair. It's the only way he knew he wouldn't be recognized. If he knew his drag would land him at a bar in Cuba for the sole purpose of taking out the men that were after him out, he would have packed better duct tape. Apparently a lot of them resided in here, it was packed full with them. And they hung out at these bars. How cliché was that? Nevertheless, he smiled with his red lipstick and his blonde wig falling into his face as he began singing.

 

„ _The dress is Chanel, the shoes YSL_  
_The bag is Dior, Agent Provocateaur_  
 _My address today, L.A. by the way_  
 _Above Sunset Strip, the Hills all the way_  
 _My rings are by Webster, they make their heads twirl_  
 _They all say “Darling, what did you do for those pearls?”_  
 _What?! I am a good girl.“_

 

The crowd cheered and had it been any other night with Kenny by his side, his lovely smile might have been genuine. Well, at least the stage gave him enough time to look around without seeming suspicious. He already picked out one of the guys, specifically one who was present when he was making the deal. There was no way he would recognize him like this, much to his dismay. The man sat at a large table with more older men, it was safe to assume they were affiliated. It appeared he was lucky tonight.

 

„ _B.H. I adore, Rode-O L'amore_  
_Breakfast Polo Lounge, and poolside for sure_  
 _The Chateau for cocktails, the Courtyard at nine_  
 _Dan Tana's for dinner, the Helen's* divine_  
 _You know I have found, the word’s gone around_  
 _They all say my feet never do touch the ground_  
 _What?! I am a good girl.“_

 

He swung his hips as he finished, praying to God that whatever store bought duct tape he bought would be strong enough until he finished his job here. Thankfully, he seemed to have caught the attention of just who he was after, so after he gave a little bow and got down from the stage to drink down a shot of vodka as his personal reward, he wasn't surprised to see the familiar man approach him and start flirting.

„What's your name, sweetheart?“

„Irene.“ He lied.

„Well, Irene, are you really a good girl?“ Eric had to keep back from rolling his eyes. This was some fuckboy shit. He understood now why Kenny sometimes looked annoyed when someone talked to him like this without paying.

„Only one way to find out.“ Still, he replied with the softest voice, standing up and taking the man's hand to lead him into the bathroom.

„What are you planning, little fox?“ The man asked once they were safely in a stall and he got pinned against the wall by the tall and thick girl. Thick in just the right places, that's what corsets did.

„To kill every single last one of you motherfuckers.“ Eric dropped the girly voice, enjoying the momentary look of shock on the man's face when he realized that the girl he wanted to fuck was in fact some guy in drag. Though, the more shocking thing was the hand covering his mouth to hold in his scream as his throat was and Eric held him right above the toilet to bleed into just to not make a mess and raise suspicion. It didn't matter though. Eric calmly washed his hands in the sink, leaving the corpse in the bathroom stall and raising eyebrows from the table their friend sat at.

„Hey, girl! Where's our friend?“ Eric calmly turned around and gave them an innocent look.

„Dead.“

„Wh--“ Too late, he walked out and with the press of a button the bar went up in flames. It was riddled with these rats. But there were more of them here and he knew exactly where. He was going to get them all before they could even attempt to get him. Surely they didn't expect him to disappear and go hunting straight to the source. Eric was a genius at times.

 

 

„Where the fuck is he?!“ Kyle screamed, slamming his hands down onto the table, still gasping for air with sweat dripping fown his forehead, soaking his curls. He must have ran here all the way.

„Kyle?! What are you doing out of prison?“ Stan asked.

„I escaped, what does it look it?“

„Well, shit.“ He retreated for now, knowing that provoking an already angry Kyle was in no way, shape or form a good idea.

„Kenny, you know where he is.“ Kyle turned his head to the blonde boy.

„He told me not to tell you.“

„I don't give a shit.“

„I told him that. He's in Cuba.“

„What the fuck is he doing in Cuba?“

„That's where most of the guys, including the boss, who are after him are. He decided to go directly there to try and kill them all off before they could get to him.“

„Why did he go alone?“

„To not raise suspicion.“

„He will be recognized, won't that raise suspicion in itself?“

„He's in drag.“

„He's in fucking drag?“

„He's in fucking drag.“

„He's a retard.“

„Yep.“

„I'm going to Cuba.“

„Wait,“ Stan intervened again, not liking where this was going. „You might be setting yourself up here, that place is dangerous!“

„Exactly why I have to go! He might already be dead for all I know, I'm not going to spend the rest of my life wondering if he's coming back! I'll kill everyone myself if I have to!“ Everyone just kind of stared at Kyle. Kenny, Stan and Butters. Kyle was seeing red, he was not being rational right now, but it's not like they could stop him either way. This insane guy just escaped from prison to hunt down his fiancé and probably beat his ass just so he would learn not to ever do dangerous shit like this on his own, how fucking metal was that?

„I told that fat cunt this would happen!“ Kenny just flailed his arms, finding at least some sort of satisfaction in knowing that he was right.

„Just you fucking wait until I get to you, fatass...“

 

Extremely fucking metal.

 


	60. There will be life

They've always stared up at the skies, filled with glittering stars looking down on them from an unreachable place. Always sitting in their little spot on the roof, middle of nowhere, mountain town. Covered up in their blanket with alien faces, it reminded them of the times when they used to see aliens in town and hear tales of abductions, but they couldn't remember whether it was real or not at this point. They haven't seen anything like that in years. Tweek also hadn't seen any underpants gnomes in years, he was told that it was all the medication, but somehow he doubted that. They were real, just like everything else in this weird, messed up world.

Everything that the sun touched, everything that the moon shined upon, it all belonged to some kind of universe and its unique rules that they were born under. No way they could escape this, not physically. All they could do was play by the rules and stay safe for as long as they could. It was for moments like these that Craig saved his cigarettes. He didn't start smoking until last year, but he didn't want to get addicted either, so what he decided was on saving them for when he sat on the rooftop with Tweek, who indulged in his coffee. They got well together like cigarettes and coffee, it was only appropriate. Even in these times, when they stayed mostly quiet, just admiring the heavens with empty eyes and heavy thoughts. A lot of things happened... a lot of things that they never thought would happen. They were used to crazy shit going down, but not for disasters to come spiraling down like this. All they were grateful for was the fact that they didn't get dragged into it, but they couldn't help thinking that maybe they should have helped, even if their help was rejected. After all...

„Tweek?“

„Yeah?“

„What would we do if something like that happened to us?“

„I don't know... Probably fight, I don't know.“

„Aren't you scared of dying?“

„I am,“ Tweek spoke in an unusually soft voice, stars reflecting in his eyes, „but I'm not scared of death. I can't imagine how much it's going to hurt to die, but if death is something that will one day get us all, then it can't be that bad.“ These were one of the times when Tweek really spoke from his heart, no fear, just his honest thoughts. It seemed like he thought about death a lot.

„Do you think there's something beyond that?“ Craig asked, wondering about all the possibilities. Heaven, hell, purgatory, the underworld, absolute darkness...

„I do.“

„Like what?“

„Life.“ Tweek muttered out and Craig's eyes shifted from his rosy cheeks up towards the universe all around them.

„I think so too.“

 

 

Kenny shifted in his bed, the morning sun hitting his eyes through those torn curtains, falling down onto his naked body as he turned to the side to face someone he remembered was there, but still couldn't believe it. His hand reached out, stroking through those black locks of hair, recognizing that pained groan as nothing other than a hangover. He has been there once too. Still, he couldn't help staring onto that well trained body, it wasn't everyday that he saw Stan naked and well, in his bed. Soon enough, Stan rubbed his eyes and stared back into Kenny's, who was still shamelessly stroking through his hair.

„I can't remember anything from last night.“ Stan finally spoke up.

„I'm not surprised, we got piss drunk and high at the same time.“

„Oh, yeah... Wendy broke up with me, that's why I went to you.“ Stan finally started bringing some pieces together, though he was sure he wouldn't be able to recall all of what happened, even though he knew what probably did.

„She's kind of a bitch for doing that now, when she knows how much you're worried about Kyle.“

„Yeah, shit timing. So am I gay now?“ He asked jokingly, although it was something he was wondering at a time like this.

„Not sure. Would you fuck me sober?“

„Not sure.“

„I think you were just sad and drunk. And I was the only one you could turn to.“ Kenny reassured him, although his touch felt almost too loving.

„Yeah... A friendly sex.“

„Wanna go for round two before you leave and we pretend that this never happened? For all we know, the world might be ending today.“ Kenny suggested, already knowing the answer as Stan lifted himself up, towering over him and their skin touching under the blankets.

„Yeah... Just for now.“

 

 

He always thought wherever he would go, the streets would be paved with gold. Not because he deserved it, in fact he was one of the least deserving people to walk a path of success in life, but he was persistent. Persistent people always got shit done, they would always fight fate no matter what kind of obstacle got in their way, which is why he was doing this right now. The real streets weren't paved with gold, they were filled with foreign music and foreign people, it was almost too crowded for anyone to notice him as he walked forward, wearing his black suit. It was time to end all of this for good. His heart was racing with fear, with tension, with pure anxiety. He didn't know why, everything he did so far, he planned out perfectly and it worked. So why was he getting worried now? Was it because, if he managed to do this, he could actually come back home? But was life really that generous, especially to him?

 

Not like he had a choice, this was the only thing he could do in order to get a chance at coming back.

 

His steps seemed to echo in his ears as he stepped inside the parliament. He was told that today there would be an assembly and just as fate wanted it, the motherfucker commanding his men to kill him was going to be there. What would be a more perfect way to go out with a bang than to commit a terrorist attack on the parliament of Cuba, should he fail? Ugh, he was just a smalltown gangster, now he was going to be a legitimate terrorist, should this crime be proven to be his doing. He hoped not, but what else could he really do? Get in drag? He was going to need to run and running with a wig, five pounds of makeup and his balls taped against his stomach would be quite difficult.

 

So he stepped in, just to put in the last piece, he planted all the other explosives all around it, making sure it would fall to the ground and nobody would survive, he just wanted to make sure – as he walked past his target and planted the last one on the back of his chair – that truly nobody would make it out alive.

 

So he calmly walked past and once he was far away enough...

 

Boom.

 

His chair was the first to go up. Then some other sitting places, then the roof started collapsing and falling down, crushing some people on the way down. Naturally, things caught fire and everything seemed to have gone smooth as he safely walked outside and detonated the last explosive before he heard the sound of guns being loaded and aimed right at him. Eric looked forward, his heart sinking in a quiet fashion.

„You've caused quite the stir around here, boy, we've heard about you from our subordinate. Before you walk out to fix your makeup, you should really make sure to confirm the kill.“ Fuck. He knew there was something wrong with everything going flawlessly.

„I'll try to remember that for next time.“ He finally spoke, putting on that usual condescending smirk as he raised his hands up in defeat. If he was going to go down, at least he wasn't going to let them enjoy seeing him suffer. Fuck that. He was too proud for that.

„There won't be a next time, little boy.“

„No shit. Get it over with and shoot.“ Eric spoke, still keeping up the smirk, at least before he stared behind the man and into the face of someone he recognized way too well. They noticed his change of expression, how much he froze up

„What's suddenly got you so scared?“ Please. Please don't let him notice. Please don't let them notice.

 

„Eric!“ Kyle shouted, abandoning all rational thought as he saw the love of his life surrounded by men with guns. However, he soon screamed out of pain as the men wasted no time in shooting him in his legs, his bat falling out of his hands. He couldn't believe his own eyes, they were way too fast, they weren't just a regular gang. What the fuck did Eric get himself into?

„Well, well, well,“ one of them spoke, „don't think we will be killing you just yet.“

 

Fuck.

 

He tried to run, reach for Kyle... but his vision soon blackened as he felt something heavy hit the back of his head.

 


	61. I remember when we were young and free

„Adopt me.“ Kenny spoke and plopped his face down onto the counter, cheek first, while staring up at Craig. Well, that was unexpected. Tweek jumping back and nearly dropping one of the glasses he was cleaning and Craig getting annoyed to the point of lighting a cigarette was enough an answer. No. The answer was no.

„Go practice your fetishes somewhere else, McCormick.“ Craig calmly replied, taking a large puff. Of course he had to be an asshole about it.

„It's not a fetish. Well, not in this case at least.“

„Oh, Jesus Christ.“ Tweek muttered, not wanting to hear about such things. Kenny was somewhere way different when it came to sexual things. Everyone knew him as the town whore, at least among the teens. For the adults it was Cartman's mom. It wasn't even as if he fucked everyone, he was just a big pervert ever since he was a kid. High sex drive. Curiosity. It happens. But that's not what this was about.

„I'm just lonely.“ Kenny complained.

„Cartman and Kyle still aren't back?“ Tweek asked, a little bit concerned. He was friends with Cartman once, even though he would have let him die at any given opportunity. And well, Kyle became his friend. Sort of. They weren't as close as Kenny was to them, so he could only imagine what he was going through right now.

„Nope, haven't heard from either of them. I'm thinking that they're dead.“ He muttered, a gloomy mood taking over.

„Oh, jeez, Kenny! Don't say that!“

„Well... everyone runs out of luck at some point, right?“ Craig acknowledged, honestly thinking that was the case too.

„Right.“ Kenny finally lifted himself up, staring into his coffee cup. Whenever Tweek made the coffee, it tasted so good. One time he made the mistake of drinking the coffee from Mr.Tweak and honestly, he didn't know how someone managed to make anything that mediocre tasting. It wasn't even bad, but it wasn't good either. It tasted weird though.

„What about Butters?“

„Grounded.“

„What about... Stan?“ Craig looked sideways, giving Kenny one of those rare, smug smirks. Oh God. No.

„Stop right there.“

„Why? Don't want anyone to know?“

„Craig, I'm serious—“

„Why? What happened with Stan?“ Tweek asked, wanting to know what the panic was about. To be honest, he was surprised he didn't know anything was going on. Craig usually told him everything.

„Nothing, Tweek, it's--“ Kenny tried to stop the conversation right there, but he was interrupted.

„He slept with Stan.“ God dammit, Craig.

„Jesus! Didn't he just recently break up with Wendy?“

„Yeah, yeah...“ Kenny rolled his eyes. „Wendy told him to fuck off, his best friend fucked off, he came to me, my best friend fucked off, we were both lonely, we got drunk and we fucked.“ He didn't want to give it much thought after it was over. Even though it wasn't over for a couple of days of Stan just staying around and them acting way too domestic around each other. Honestly, he thought his heart would burst out of his chest when he saw Stan getting along with Karen. That guy was a dad figure, that was for sure.

„How was he?“ Craig asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

„Amazing.“

„Big dick?“

„Seven inches.“

„Nice.“

„Yeah.“

„So,“ Tweek spoke up again, „what are you two going to do now?“

„What do you mean?“ Kenny looked up at him, not entirely sure what he meant with that question.

„I mean, was it just a one time thing or is it something bigger than that?“

„No, no, no--“ Kenny immediately dismissed the thought, wanting nothing more than to move away from what happened. It was nice and it felt so right, but he couldn't imagine actually being tied down and in a relationship. Besides, Stan behaved completely differently when it came to him falling in love and well... this wasn't love. Just desperation and sex.

„Keep going like this and you're gonna die alone, McCormick.“ Craig commented, pretty amused by his panic.

„No shit.“ He took a sip from his coffee, sighing and thinking back on all the times when that was the case. Dying alone was something he was much too familiar with.

 

The boy stood up then, putting his hood back on and waving goodbye before walking out onto the road, looking up at the stars. They shined like diamonds, so clearly and with such intense light, tonight out of all other nights. The summer breeze felt just right against his skin, the smell of wet grass taking over his senses. It was so beautiful, but at the same time, everything felt like such a mistake. Everything was just... wrong.

 

He didn't know why, but he felt like the world was ending tonight.

 

 

Sharp lights overtook his senses, his sight blurry as he adjusted to the unnaturally bright room, white bathroom floors and white walls. Everything was so empty. Looking down, his breathing became ragged as he made out what happened. He saw the bullet wound in his own thigh, it burned like a motherfucker and it was obviously not treated. They just left it in and just wrapped up his wound so he wouldn't bleed out and die. At least not for now. It probably got infected. He tried moving out of his seat, but was held back by rope tying him to the chair. Both his legs and his hands. He couldn't move at all. However, when he looked up in front, his heart broke and he nearly burst in tears.

„H-Hey..“ Eric spoke in a shaky voice, looking just as tied down, but in a way worse state than he was. Bruises, cuts and obvious stan wounds in his legs and arms. He was a mess and still he smiled. „I'm glad you're awake.“ He spoke, showing more concern for Kyle than himself, even though he was in a much worse state.

„Oh my god... What did they do to you..?“ Kyle asked, even though he didn't want to know. It was obvious from the way he looked. Tears streamed down his face. He couldn't help it.

„Come on, don't cry, Kyle...“ He tried his best to reassure him as he used the last of his strength to move forward along with the chair, just to be closer to his little Jew.

„I'm so sorry, Eric... I should have done something sooner, I...“

„Shh.“ Eric leaned in, hushing Kyle as he pressed their foreheads together. At last, finally, they were able to feel each other. Kyle was shaking, he was scared. He didn't know what was going on or why. He went into the danger completely clueless and this time it was too much. This time their luck ran out.

„I-I just... wanted to protect you...“ He kept sobbing, unable to comprehend all of this. Eric was obviously tortured and now they were in some creepy, small room all tied up, waiting for death.

„I know, baby. I know.“

„B-But...“

„Shh. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise.“

„How can you promise that?! We're going to die!“ Eric placed kisses all over Kyle's face then, trying to make him calm down as best as he could while he listened for the steps and the faint sound of voices on the other side of the door. They were still around, but he learned their patterns. He only had a small idea of when it was day and when it was night, but he wasn't too sure about that either.

„Hey, Kyle. Remember last summer? My birthday?“

„Y-Yeah.. We just started dating recently at the time...“

„That's right. Remember how we visited Stark's pond?“

 

Of course he remembered... how could he forget?

 

_The sun was shining brightly, honestly annoying him even though he was wearing sunglasses. His fashion senses suited him perfectly for the summer, although he hated walking through the woods in sandals. God, could walking become any more annoying than this?_

„ _Ugh..“ Kyle groaned, waving his hand to shield himself from a fly that was just flying by, minding its own business._

„ _You sound like a real city rat.“ Eric commented, pretty amused by the sight. Honestly, he couldn't ask to see anything prettier on his birthday. Kyle sure was a beauty and he couldn't help still being kind of embarrassed around him. They've been only dating for a few weeks after all._

„ _Well, I did grow up in the city, you know.“ He stated, but quickly shut up. He didn't want to be too annoying, what would Eric think? He could break up with him so fast._

„ _Want me to carry you, princess?“ Eric smirked._

„ _No-- DUDE!“ Kyle yelled as he was swept off his feet and into Eric's arms. He grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to hide his blush from being this close to the guy, touching him and seeing that handsome face up close. Oh God. He was internally panicking at this point._

 

_Ah, young love. How anxiety ridden it was._

„ _You can put me down now...“ Kyle whispered now that he actually saw the lake._

„ _Oh, I will.“ Eric gave a devilish grin and before Kyle could realize what was going on, he was suddenly thrown into the lake. Clothes on and everything. The initial shock only lasted a few seconds and Kyle was soon overtaken by anger as he emerged up from the water, completely soaked and staring holes through a laughing Eric. His laughing didn't last long either as he was interrupted by a wet sandal thrown at his face and had to duck before another one hit him._

„ _Asshole!“ Kyle commented, but he didn't really mean it. His pout was proof enough._

„ _What's wrong, Kyle? Don't like it when I get you wet?“_

„ _Very funny.“ He rolled his eyes, but instead of walking out of the lake he had a better idea. He went underwater for another second and took off his top, only emerging enough so that his bare shoulders showed._

„ _Decided that you actually like the swim?“ Eric asked._

„ _Decided that I'm inviting you in.“ Surely enough, Kyle brought up his soaked shorts from underwater._

„ _What about your underwear?“_

„ _Not wearing any.“ Well, hot damn. It wasn't everyday that he got such a chance, so he quickly took off his own shirt and entered the lake, quickly taking a hold of Kyle and kissing him. Kyle wrapped his legs around Eric's waist, enjoying the touch a little too much before they were interrupted._

„ _Fags.“ Kenny simply stated, jumping into the water and splashing them as Stan and Butters soon followed._

 

_Those were the good times._

 

„Heh... Everyone came there. Including Craig's gang. I couldn't get out of the water for the next two hours because I was naked.“ Kyle chuckled, happy to think of such nice times even in a situation like this.

„Yeah, you were so embarrassed and your clothes never dried since we didn't hand them up anywhere.“ Eric smiled, glad to see Kyle calmed down a bit.

„I had to walk home in nothing but your shirt... My mom looked at me all weird when she saw me in the door.“ Kyle leaned into Eric, swallowing down the pain and just imagining he was back there. Back when everything was fine, before they got involved in this god damn mess.

 


	62. Requiem for Eric Cartman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bag1gUxuU0g  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai5giAL_b3A

Eric went quiet then and it was almost too quiet. No voices. No footsteps.

„Baby, I'm gonna get you out of here.“ Eric finally spoke now that he was sure everything was clear.

„What?“ Kyle couldn't believe what he was hearing.

„There's a knife in my pocket. They never bothered to check.“ And so Eric jumped forward on his chair behind Kyle just so he could reach into his pocket and get it.

„I- Uh, okay!“ There was no time to waste. He thought they were going to die, like seriously die. But here he was with some kind of back up plan. Eric did always plan ahead. Although he never expected for Kyle to show up. At least not that fast. He never thought they would be stuck here together, otherwise he would have just found a way to kill himself so that he didn't need to suffer through all this bullshit torture. Well, shit happens.

„Do you have it?“

„Yeah!“ Kyle freed his own hands before cutting through the rope on his feet and slowly standing up, the wound in his leg making him limp.

„See that small window up there? Go climb it and run away.“ Kyle stopped at that, looking back at Eric and not believing what he was hearing right now.

„What?“ He asked for him to repeat it again.

„I said--“

„I know what you said! I'm not fucking leaving you here! I came to save you because I knew you would get yourself into a mess like this!“ Kyle complained and without giving Eric's words even as much as a thought, he freed him from the chair, putting his arm around his shoulders despite being the one who was limping. Eric lost a lot of blood. He needed medical attention as soon as possible. Maybe if they got away and called Stan and Kenny for help... maybe they could make it through this.

„Kyle...“

„Shut up!“ And he did.

 

The boy gently opened the door, surprised to find it unlocked. He peered out, seeing nobody in the halls as they moved out and closed the door just as quietly. With some luck, nobody would notice they left before it's too late. The halls were dark, much darker than what they were used to from their residence in that god damn torture room. At least they could tell it was night, dark enough for them to sneak around. Ugh, Kyle thought he was going to be sick when the smell of weed hit him. Usually he wasn't one to complain about that, but he wasn't in the best shape. Maybe it would relieve his pain, but at this moment he would much rather take a tylenol and have Stan take out the bullet with the help of tweezers and alcohol and sew his wound shut all at the comfort of his home. It wasn't the first time that would have happened and the thought of it happening again gave him hope.

 

So they limped, gently opening the front doors as the night breeze took over their senses, Kyle taking a deep breath in and trying to limp away even faster, before anyone could notice. Then drops of rain started falling down, it wasn't cold, it felt very warm on his skin even though he didn't know where he was going. He just knew he had to get away. Anywhere but here.

 

Anywhere but--

 

Bang.

 

A gunshot caught his attention and he looked back to see a dark figure standing there, gun aiming at them. His face distorted into a terrified look, tears welling up in his eyes when he realized he didn't feel any pain himself, but heard Eric groan and fall back onto the wet ground.

„Eric!“ Kyle cried out, falling down onto his knees and cupping his face.

„Shit...“

„Did he get you?!“

„Yeah...“

„I.. We can..!“ Kyle looked around, realizing that they were completely surrounded, there was someone standing in every corner, fully armed. He looked down at Eric, trying to find some comfort in his eyes and just as expected, there it was.

 

_**Come take a walk on the wild side.** _

 

Eric took off his ring, the one he was supposed to be taking care of for Kyle until he got back and with that familiar smile he asked.

„Will you marry me?“ Again.

„Yes... Yes I will. Over and over again...“ Kyle nodded, tears streaming down his face as he felt the ring return onto his finger right where it belonged, leaning down to capture Eric's lips.

 

_**Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain.** _

 

„I'm scared...“ Kyle admitted, cowering from everyone around them, knowing all of this only had one outcome.

„I know, baby.“ He was scared too. He was terrified. He always thought he was immortal like Kenny, but that just wasn't the case. Honestly, he would have appreciated a curse like that for the two of them. Just die here and be reborn at home. Everyone would forget this ever happened. Everything would go back to normal. But that just wasn't the case.

 

_**You like your girls insane.** _

 

So he did the only thing he could think of. He started to sing, to comfort Kyle one last time.

„ _Blue jeans, white shirt_  
_Walked into the room you know I made your eyes burn_  
 _I was like James Dean, for sure_  
 _I'm so fresh to death & sick as ca-ca-cancer_  
 _I was sorta punk rock, You grew up on hip hop_  
 _I fit you better than your favorite sweater,_  
 _You know, that love is mean, love hurts_  
 _You still remember that day we met in December, oh baby_  
  
_I will love you 'til the end of time...“_

 

But he never got to finish his song as Kyle weeped on his chest, sobbing to the sound of his lover's heartbeat stopping and his own heart breaking. His screams of pain being the only sounds filling up the skies alongside thunder. It was as if the clouds bled and cried alongside him.

 

_**So choose your last words, this is the last time.** _

 

Kyle stood up, the pure rage and hurt in his eyes visible as he screamed one last time and ran towards the men in an attempt for vengeance before countless gunshots went off and he felt his body relieved of the pain in his heart.

 

_**Cause you and I, we were born to die.** _

 


	63. Letter to my beloved

I remember when I met him, when I saw his soul through his eyes, it was so clear that we were meant to be.

We both knew it, from day one.

I felt his touch and I was on fire. I heard his voice and I was drowning in music. I saw his eyes and I knew he only saw me.

I belonged to nobody but him. He belonged to nobody but me.

He was powerful, charismatic, enchanting, magnetic.

I always felt that I was rightfully by his side.

I always knew that the world was made for us.

His love gave me purpose. I found sense in loving him to death, giving him my everything and never doubting that our love was bigger than the universe itself.

I stayed by his side. I wouldn't let him go even if it meant dying. Because I loved him.

I loved him.

I loved him.

I loved him.

And I still love him.

I love him.

I'll always love him.

 

  * _Kyle Broflovski_




 


	64. We are immortal

_Till death do us part._

 

A young boy walked through the snow, stopping at the bus sign that towered over him and his friends a significant amount.

„School day, school day, teacher's golden ru...“ The boys sang in a mocking manner together before Kyle stopped and interrupted everything.

„Ah, dammit!“ The Jewish boy complained, looking down at his little brother. „My little brother's trying to follow me to school again.“

„Zeeponaner.“ Ike let out some random words nobody could understand, the little boy wasn't even in preschool yet so most people couldn't understand what he was trying to say most of the time.

„Ike, you can't come to school with me.“ Kyle continued on, crossing his arms and trying to explain to his little brother that he was too young to go to school with him.

„Yeah, go home you little dildo!“ A familiar voice made itself clear, catching Kyle's attention immediately and just getting the best reaction out of him as if he couldn't help himself.

„Dude, don't call my brother a dildo!“ And so the arguing started, a familiar scene making itself clear to little Kenny who kind of just stared at them for a while.

„What's a dildo?“ Stan asked, giving them a look similiar to the one Kenny had. He didn't know why this all seemed so familiar. They argued everyday, but somehow this felt slightly different. Ah, he couldn't wrap his finger around it.

„Well, I don't know.“ Immediately, Kyle turned to Cartman and pointed his finger at the fat boy. „And I bet Cartman doesn't know either!“

„I know what it means!“ Cartman immediately defended himself.

„Well, what?“

„I'm not telling you!“

„What's a dildo, Kenny?“ Stan finally looked at the boy, giving him a look of curiosity. If there was anyone who would know what that is, it would be Kenny. Although Kenny seemed a bit distracted by the scene going on, he turned to face the front and explained in a muttered voice.

„It's a giant stick that goes inside the mom's vagina.“ How could he explain this? It just felt right. Everyone felt like that as well. Stan never acknowledged their fights anymore. Eric tried his best to get Kyle's attention. And Kyle always gave it to him. It was strange, but somehow they fit each other well.

 

_In an endless universe filled with burning souls lighting the path of fate, their bond was born. An inseperable bond, charged with the energy of the Mind, the Heart and the Soul. Standing in front of the word of God, vowing their love, their loyalty, and their desire to always cling to each other until the end of time. It was as if two energies conjoined and became one after searching for each other for millions of years, recognizing each other, giving birth to something too powerful to comprehend._

 

_The stars aligned for them be._

 

_In every world, in every timeline, in every universe._

 

_They were born for each other._

 


End file.
